And Now Here’s Ashley Greene In A Bikini

August 13th, 2012 // 53 Comments

Just in case these pics of Ashley Greene in a bikini aren’t awesome enough, this was almost a post about her being photographed in a Chick-fil-A drive-thru presumably to suck up to Stephenie Meyer who’s probably already shitting out another series of movie-ready books about undead, sparkling Mormons. I bet Ashley Greene even got extra Polynesian sauce. (That’s where they hide the hate.) So, anyway, if you enjoy your bigotry to remain unchallenged in lieu of boobs, you’re welcome.



  1. I’m not sure what to make of her hip area. My penis says yes, but I could see my brain invoking veto power.

  2. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    good day for crabbing.

  3. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Her beach mule seems happy.

  4. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn kristen stewart!!
    What have u done with Ashley!!!?

  5. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Can someone please get Retarded Laird Hamilton away from her?

  6. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what I’d be doing if I were her too….

  7. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ms greene… bikini… all that film… NO BUTT SHOTS???

    i do believe paparazzi quality is fading…

  8. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Penis check.

  9. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what I call hidden treasure.

  10. juss

    Her body would be awesome if she had a waist. I still think she looks good, though.

  11. Not a curve on that poor thing.

  12. Who's your mama

    God, I miss Legos.

  13. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you LEFT HAND!!

  14. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen pictures of other female celebrities doing the same thing when emerging from the ocean and my question is: Just what the hell are they looking for?

  15. catapostrophe

    Kinda weird.

  16. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she in the war? I see three holes in her right thigh.

  17. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Notice how she dislodges the wedgie from her non-existent ass.

  18. judgingyou

    Man Torso!!!

  19. A fairly decent example of feminine pulchritude — acceptable legs, great winnebagos, pleasant face. But there just seems to be something — like curves — lacking in the area from the top of her thighs to her belly button. In total — after dropping the highest and lowest scores — I give her a 7.5…

  20. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder these things itch, it says GAGA right there.

  21. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I get a look in there too?

  22. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Her torso is square. Still would.

  23. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    If those are real they look pretty nice.

  24. Ashley Greene Bikini
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Or what?”

  25. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Each reverting to their natural positions.

  26. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    not pictured: Stiffler’s mom

  27. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Now Kristen Stewart is having an affair with Matthew McConaughey? When will this madness end?!

  28. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, my balls are still tucked behind.

  29. TAO

    So Stephanie Meyers is being attacked by pro-gay marriage people even though they have no idea if she’s against gay marriage or not…..just because she’s Mormon. Stay classy.

  30. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, found my keys.

  31. Willie Dixon

    Most anti-climatic bikini photos ever.

  32. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Not one ass shot? The paparazzi are entirely overpaid..

  33. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Joaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Help, I can’t… Move… Tits weighing… Me… Down.”

  34. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Joaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    Matthew McConoughey with a bonus chromosome.

  35. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Huff Huff …I got these paddleboards… Huff Huff …. you carry the oars”

  36. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    man waist, bleh

  37. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Where are her hips??? I thought women had hips its like my 12 yearold son from the stomach down…not a good thing.

  38. anonym

    no hips, no ass.

    what the fuck is the obsession ?

  39. anonym

    put tits on a cut man, and you get about the same thing

  40. Ashley Greene Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost a clit slip

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