In case you can’t tell by the headline, this post will tackle deep medical issues using the most scientific of terms. For realz. N/J. Every once in a while The Sun drops an expose that shakes the very field of journalism to its core. Today they examined the size of Ashlee Simpson’s breasts in relation to her sister Jessica and whether that size suggests Pete Wentz busted a baby up in that ass. I feel humbled to be in the presence of such a report:
Ashlee, who got engaged to rocker boyfriend PETE WENTZ last month, has recently been subject of rumours surrounding a possible pregnancy.
But the eye-catching size of her bust pictured above will only increase speculation, as it looks like she’s developed a pair of CHRISTINA AGUILERA-style pregnancy boobs.
Dear Pulitzer Committee,
As an esteemed member of your establishment, I’m writing to gracefully request you withhold my Pulitzer and award it to the investigative team at The Sun. Not only did these brave individuals address the tough issues of how pregorific are Ashlee Simpson’s milk cannons, but they went the extra mile to compare her to Christina Aguilera. I like to believe their work speaks for itself, however, I could not sleep peacefully at night unless I did my very best to ensure their groundbreaking reporting was recognized.
Please, search your hearts and soul while weighing this monumental decision. And, also, take into account the true litmus test of any journalistic endeavor: OMG BOOBZ!
Semper Fi Mammarus,
The Superficial Writer
woop | May 7, 2008 at 12:22 pm
ew
Mike | May 7, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Very nice tits, I would love to jizz all over those fuckers………..not to mention……….I would LOVE TO DRINK HER DOUCHE WATER!!!
Gia | May 7, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I am no fan of either of these celebritie, but they do have nice cleavage.
Sex Nuts & Retard Strong | May 7, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Mmmm….reminds me of my favorite holiday…nope, not Cinco De Mayo, not St. Patrick’s Day or even KwanzHannaChrismaka….it’s the Day the Titty Fairy Arrives!! Yeah baby, yeah!
FRIST!!! | May 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Maybe she is pmsing.
Maybe she got a boobjob. Why not? She got a nosejob. She actually looks good enough now that I no longer feel sorry for her..
FIST! | May 7, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Fish – can we get a side by side pic od Ahsley? Before and after?
fanks!
Pixie | May 7, 2008 at 12:40 pm
It looks like Ashley got a boob job because fake boobs always look wider and the cleavage is longer.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 7, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Even Porous Hilton can look like she’s stacked…
Mike | May 7, 2008 at 12:44 pm
FRIST………just let me see your cleavage again. I always enjoy your tits.
Auntie Kryst | May 7, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Mazel tov. That baby is going to be one lucky suckling bastard.. Lucky pussy emo, flat haired, heavily eye-lined, gay-ass tattooed, suckling bastard.
sportsdvl | May 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Big tits on both, but neither is pretty, smart, talented or worth anyone’s time or energy.
Mike | May 7, 2008 at 12:59 pm
#11…………Both are worth my time and energy………that is for sure.
dude | May 7, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Fish, you are hilarious.
Mike at #2, you are probably an inch away from a restraining order.
FUNNY FISH!! Semper Fi Mammarus.
Jacks - 54 | May 7, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Eww ashely looks dirty compared to her sister
Mike | May 7, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@5 Hey FRIST, you know sometime when I am with my goat, I fantasize that it is really you I am making love to. Well actually it is every time I am with my goat. What can I say, I am a hopeless romantic.
Jester | May 7, 2008 at 1:16 pm
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Janet | May 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm
bahahaha…hilarious post.
dude_on_a_wire | May 7, 2008 at 1:23 pm
The boobs help enormously (and vice/versa)… and that is simply the power of boobs. I give you Exhibit A
dude_on_a_wire | May 7, 2008 at 1:24 pm
The boobs help enormously (and vice/versa)… and that is simply the power of boobs. I give you Exhibit A
havoc | May 7, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Could we have boob photos of Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Aniston to compare with these two?
That would be superdeeduper……
.
Veroonica | May 7, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Who TF knocked her up? It couldn’t have been that faggot Wentz. His and Ashley’s sex life constists of giggling under the covers as they paint each others nails.
Jackson | May 7, 2008 at 1:33 pm
#20
What is there to compare? Kim has implants surrounded by huge amounts of fat and Jennifer has small natural perky breasts.
Texas Tranny | May 7, 2008 at 1:36 pm
@ # 21 Veroonica
Yes, while they both are wearing babydoll nighties with pretty panties.
Jocco | May 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I’d like to take a trip down that mammary lane
Deva | May 7, 2008 at 1:57 pm
What is it with these Hollywood SKANKS that have to have children and pollute the world??
Say it with me now, “I have kids because they’re trendy”!
lisa | May 7, 2008 at 2:27 pm
“rocker” boyfriend. that’s hilarious. I have said it a hundred times, and I will say it again… The douche is famous for his appearance in Meatballs 2 as the alien, Meathead.
http://www.chucksconnection.com/meatballs2.html
Joseph "Papa" Simpson | May 7, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I love it when people praise me for my handiwork.
Who is Texas Tranny - $Reward$ | May 7, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Please tell me who/why/what???? I am offering a substantial portion of my estate and extensive finances for info on this being. (twisted curiosity)
For the morbid: I cried at Chronicles of Narnia and cheered Sauron @LOR
Tsch | May 7, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Yeah but look at this! http://www.quarnevalen.se/vagn/?nr=52
Texas Tranny | May 7, 2008 at 3:47 pm
@ #28
No need for a reward. All you have to do is ask………
Texas Tranny | May 7, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Just take a look at my flickr page.
http://www.flickr.com/people/pinksissy47/
John from OC | May 7, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Jessica is so amazing. How can one girl look like a horse & a duck? She is so talented. I hope to be like her someday.
SIMPSONS SHAME | May 7, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Ashlee & Jessica Simpson = Poster Child(ren) for Plastic Surgery.
The Association of Doctors of Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery
should be paying both of them royalties for advertising!
If you change everything that makes you who you are..Then who are you..?
Damn!
Sounds like something Jessica would say herself..lol
Courtney | May 7, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I knew she was pregnant. I thought this was old news already.
Heather | June 22, 2008 at 12:21 am
haha OMG BOOBIEZ!!! awesome.
Poker | October 10, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Best places to play, best strategies to win. Player ratings & reviews of top online casinos & pokers with highest payouts & biggest bonuses.
Poker | October 10, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Best places to play, best strategies to win. Player ratings & reviews of top online casinos & pokers with highest payouts & biggest bonuses.
Poker | October 10, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Best places to play, best strategies to win. Player ratings & reviews of top online casinos & pokers with highest payouts & biggest bonuses.
roger mill | July 29, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Best places to play, best strategies to win. Player ratings & reviews of top online casinos & pokers with highest payouts & biggest bonuses.