Ashlee Simpson wears a bikini

March 26th, 2008 // 88 Comments

The Sun posted these pics of Ashlee Simpson wearing a bikini in Jamaica while vacationing with Pete Wentz. I can’t tell if she’s rocking some implants but, if she is, they were probably installed at birth and confirm my long held theory about Joe Simpson: He loves America – a lot. I’m talking he wants to make love to the USA and not just “have sex.” Then they’d spoon on the couch and watch Atonement. Until Joe brings up getting implants again and they start arguing. He just wants you to look beautiful, America. But mostly in the Dakota region.

EDIT: Had to take down the images. Hit the link above to check them out.

superficial

  1. BunnyButt

    Bacon … ?

  2. Kingsley Amis

    Sure, she wears a bikini and no one makes fun of her chin.

  3. Carlota

    first!!!

  4. melissa

    cute suit!

  5. henry

    BACON!!

  6. The Laughing God

    First, and NO!!

  7. carly

    meh…

  8. lipper

    Great bod and very cute suit. But she doesn’t look good wet. But then again, I am a chick so….

  9. missing teeth

    What’s with wearing a hat in the pool?

  10. Anonymous

    She ranks right up there with J-Ho as people who don’t deserve their fame and riches.

  11. Randall

    She obviously takes care of herself and knows how to push herself away from the plate; unlike Kim Kardaskank!

  12. jim sawyer

    nice bit o bacon

  13. Sandykat

    They don’t look really like implants to me – notice the natural-looking sag and nipple placement. The only questionable point is why they’re so dang far apart!

  14. deacon jones

    @9
    It’s so her new nose doesnt pull a Michael Jackson and disintegrate

  15. Auntie Kryst

    BB got bacon right on! Just wanted to congratulate you. I really don’t have anything else to say other than that except #8 you are an uberdouchefucker.

  16. Auntie Kryst

    Whoops my bad, no offense #8. Fish took out that huge copy and paste comment that was 8.

  17. Randal

    Ashlee is looking good in that banana colored bikini and is the new Simpson on the block. She may very well step in the very shoes that Britney has been wearing as the Pop Princess but only time will tell.

    She’s styling with that hat too, very posh.

    Randal

  18. D. Richards

    Nice hips, Ashlee. What, you got a penis? Yeah, real cute. Fucking die!

  19. So how long before this little tramp is pregnant?

  20. Trover

    She looks good from the chest down and the waist up…..

  21. she looks like a 13 year old boy with boobs. yuck. i thought she was pregnant?

  22. Trover

    ok, from the neck down, and the mid thigh up. I’ll give her more credit….

  23. havoc

    Christ, she’s fat…..

    .

  24. yawn

    i like.

  25. Grobpilot

    She looks good from the base of the ribcage to the collar bone area and inboard of each armpit. Just trying to pinpoint my interests.

  26. Biggest Loser Bob

    skinny girl, but gangly with little grace or muscle coordination. Her sister Jess needs to get her in the gym and help her with making that nice frame she has look really good and strong and coordinated. Her posture is just weak and lurpy.

  27. deacon jones

    @22 hahahaha

    Alright, time for some Call of Duty 4. Choi!

  28. She is SMOKING HOT!!!

  29. I thought she looked fine until I saw the fedora pic. What is up with retarded chicks wearing stupid hats? I almost started to give her some credit, but now fuck it.

    Besides…I hate yellow..

  30. She has a terrible body!
    Shes skinny fat.
    Shes thin in that ‘I don’t eat much of anything’ way rather than the ‘I hit the gym quite a bit’ way.
    She has no muscle definition whatsoever.
    People that are that skinny and aren’t even somewhat toned are very unattractive.
    Hit the gym girlfriend!

  31. poonmoon

    How completely and totally MEH can one girl be?
    She looks fucking anaemic, not too skinny really just horribly unhealthy. has this bitch heard of sumthin called the multi vitamin?
    Man, I’m bored just looking at her. I have a sneaking suspicione her ass is flat and shapeless. Yellow is a nasty color on the sickly pale.
    This is a girl who diets but, never works out. Jebus skank you need some protein and Wentz gizzum don’t count.
    Get ye to the gym Assless chinface.
    Me NO likey.

  32. 23apples

    I don’t think those are implants… they are tiny

  33. #30, you just described me :(

    But hey, at least I started working out and where I live, I will not be wearing my bikini for 3 more months!!

  34. poonmoon

    #30. When I was posting your post wasn’t up yet. You are clearly very intelligent. I saw other pics a while back where her body was even worse. She’s an apple shape and puts on weight in the abdomen. Last year or so she was in a bikini and her gut was hideous. I doubt she’s worked out a day in her life.

  35. fa-la-freakin'-dah

    …suprisingly unhot. Bleh.

  36. Bridger

    Built like Steven Tyler, am I right??

    I knew it.

  37. eek

    she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!

  38. eek

    she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, etc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!

  39. eek

    she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!

  40. eek

    she’s got horrible, completely pretentious posture (pic 2). it’s the ‘nicole righie i’m trying to look as waifish as possible’ stance (hunched shoulders, getc) that even non-skinny chicks try to pull off now. chicks remind me of grannies now and it freaks me out. STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT and strut your stuff!

  41. Erica leww.

    MEH.

  42. ponsun

    #30. When I was posting your post wasn’t up yet. You are clearly very intelligent. I saw other pics a while back where her body was even worse. She’s an apple shape and puts on weight in the abdomen. Last year or so she was in a bikini and her gut was hideous. I doubt she’s worked out a day in her life.

  43. Randals a fag

    Ashlee is looking good in that banana colored bikini and is the new Simpson on the block. She may very well step in the very shoes that Britney has been wearing as the Pop Princess but only time will tell.

    She’s styling with that hat too, very posh.

    Randal

  44. emily farthington

    Sarcasm is supposed to be funny, not a words thrown into a random pile of sloppy unappealing dog shit and horse anus. The only thing you were laying on thick there is the window of perception into your inner most self. That inner most self isn’t even there, because it was structured on what every one else told it to be. How unexpected, you’re drinking whiskey. Every dumb ass that has ever tried to argue with me likes to drink whiskey. Whiskey is garbage.Better yet, alcohol is lame. Anyone drinking shouldn’t be arguing with me because alcohol is the gubaments drug. It’s used to keep you stupid and complacent for the most part, which is why it’s still legal even though we all see the disastrous effects it has on people, more so then any other drug out there. Heroin may be the only exception to this…

    Yet again, how unexpected. Another fat joke. Store brand ice cream? You say that as if I even like ice cream. I don’t like milk or milk products in general. Diet dr pepper? God, you have horrible taste in food. Dr Pepper tastes like ass to begin with, but Diet Dr. Pepper, hahahahahahahaha. Back to the milk thing, I don’t drink the milk of other animals period. Milk was intended for a calf, not me. Milk is disgusting. Aside from all of that garbage, I’m lactose intolerant anyway. I’m probably the only person in the history of the civilized world that doesn’t like Ice Cream.

    “Your” intelligence intolerant as well, it would appear. Were you home schooled? Whoever nailed you as a Holden Claufield adherent was spot on. Did you like “Conspiracy Theory” sugartits?I looked into the window of my inner most self and found valuable coupons worth hundreds of dollars. They were all expired though. I took the liberty of looking into your inner most self and I saw a fatty.

    The difference between your and you’re (you are) sometimes I just go into auto mode when typing because I do so much of it. I don’t look at the keys when I type I just do it, touch typing. Sometimes the the wrong version of the word gets thrown in there from my auto mode typing. Who gives a shit, as long as I know this then obviously it’s fine. Now when I’m typing something for work or whatever, this never happens because there’s no auto mode with me there. It’s only on shit like this, where there isn’t a specific task or assignment. I’m just free balling it. Either way, arguing is gay. None of you are better writers or arguers than me, regardless of how many auto mode typographical errors I slap you with. My logic is original and 100% to my own, which is why it works and you could have Newton himself come over here and try to talk to me. My response would be but, that wasn’t my idea, it was YOUR idea. Therefor it means nothing to me.How could you even ask me if I like conspiracy theorists? Do you now know how to read? I just told you I despise all forms of group think and popular opinion. Meaning, I don’t follow other people’s ideas or acknowledge them, unless that person has true knowledge (intuition) which is pure, untaught knowledge. Then even with that, I don’t jock the persons idea I just say hey that was a very good original idea because it came from you and no one else. Conspiracy Theories are just another form of group think and popular opinion.

  45. That color is horrible on her.

  46. iHateDemocrateSCUM

    I’d nail her. Yep, you heard me.

  47. Burungi

    It really annoys me the way she contradicts herself in regards to that damn nose. One minute she “feels sexier”, the next “she doesn’t think she is any prettier now than before”. It’s like, stop lying to youself lady, there’s a reason you started dressing provactively and posing all the time and it’s called your new nose.

  48. Meaghan

    #44 aka emily whoever the fuck, why are you trying to jock my posts from the Kim K section and put it on here? Fuck you, don’t be a biter son. I don’t think Ashley Simpson’s tits are fake. They look real, to me anyway. Either way, why is anyone still even talking about her? She was annoying, even during her 2 mins of fame where she had a massive following of 12 year old girls and 16 year old homosexual boys.

  49. cheche

    i’m not sure whether to say mean things about her or to be attracted to her.. you see, she has the exact same body as my boyfriend (who’s 6’5”, 180 lbs). only there’s a saggy banana diaper where the penis should be.

    weird.

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