Ashlee Simpson turns down Playboy

June 28th, 2006 // 115 Comments

Ashlee Simpson has turned down a $4 million offer to pose nude in Playboy, although she allegedly seriously considered the offer. Her publicist confirmed she had received and turned down the offer, although sources close to her insist she should’ve done it, telling In Touch Weekly: “This may be the perfect time for her to do it. It could be one way for her to separate her image from Jessica’s.”

Sure, posing in Playboy would separate her image from Jessica, but so would becoming a prostitute or having a sex change. Or doing it with a donkey. She’s already considered the untalented sister, so why not go all the way and also be known as the sister who does it with donkeys.


  1. Fugurself

    Who wants to see that retarded pussy anyway?

  2. Does anybody even read Playboy anymore? It’s all about the Swank.

  3. Binky

    She’s looking more and more like the Rolling Stones cartoon logo.

  4. cruzin333

    I don’t think that issue would sell too well.

  5. TaiTai

    The only thing worse that looking at her ugly mug would be seeing the whole ugly body unclothed. No wait, the only thing worse than that would be if she was singing, too.

  6. pinochio

    she is actually pretty cute, like Shrek is cute.

  7. TaiTai

    Come to think of it, maybe we could all pool our money and come up with $4 million to pay her to go away forever. Now that would be worth it. Too bad Warren Buffett didn’t donate some of his wealth to THAT worthy cause.

  8. pop

    i’m still waiting on joe simpson to pose in playgirl….grrrr…..oh wait, i mean….i like vagina….

  9. Mrs. Boop

    It’s good to see playboy lowering it’s standards!!

  10. Iambananas

    I’m surprised Joe Simpson let her turn it down.

  11. jane's eyre

    Wow, there’s guys out there that would PAY to see her naked?

    Plus, Papa Simpson wanted to keep her “goodies” for his own personal viewing pleasure.

  12. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    “It could be one way for her to separate her image from Jessica’s.”

    Yeah, i like that… like anyone would have cared about her and she wouldn’t have got a record deal if it hadn’t been for her sister in the first place. They already tried the old ‘one’s brunette, one’s blonde’ trick but i see that wasn’t a big enough difference for us to be able to tell them apart. So they are going for the ‘this one’s a slut’ image

  13. lucycharms

    4 Million Dollars!!!! Playboy!!!!

    thats no chump change…. even tho I’m sure her father doesn’t want anyone to see his little girl’s pussy…. she should have done it!!!

    Millions of boys everywhere just shed a tear…. even if they don’t want to admit they wanna see her let it all hang out… they totally do… a celebrity pussy is still a pussy & we all know you can’t hide your eyes from the trainwreck

  14. Iambananas

    Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date, But a year to make love she wanted you to wait, Let me tell ya a story of my situation, I was talkin to this girl from the u.s. nation. The way that I met her was on tour at a concert. She had long hair and a short miniskirt. I just got onstage drippin, pourin with sweat. I was walkin through the crowd and gues who I met? I whispered in her ear, “come to the picture booth so I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof. I asked her her name, she said
    blah-blah-blah. She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra. I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused. I said, “how do you like the show”?
    She said, “I was very amused”. I started throwin bass, she started throwin back mid-range. But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange. Then when I asked, do ya have a man, she tried to pretend
    She said, no I dont, I only have a friend… Come on, Im not even goin for it…This is what Im goin say..

    You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend. And you say hes just a friend, oh baby. You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
    But you say hes just a friend, oh baby
    You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
    But you say hes just a friend

    So I took blah-blahs word for it at this time
    I thought just havin a friend couldnt be no crime
    cause I have friends and thats a fact
    Like agnes, agatha, germaine, and jacq
    Forget about that, lets go into the story
    About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
    So we started talkin, getttin familiar
    Spendin a lot of time so we can build up
    A relationship or some undderstanding
    How its gonna be in the future we was plannin
    Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
    I had no idea I was in for a treat
    After this was established, everything was cool
    The tour was over and she went back to school
    I called every day to see how she was doin
    Everytime that I ccalled her it seemed somethin was brewin
    I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again
    I said, yo, who was that? oh, hes just a friend
    Dont gimme that, dont ever gimme that
    Jus bust this

    You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
    And you say hes just a friend, oh baby
    You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
    But you say hes just a friend, oh baby
    You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
    But you say hes just a friend

    So I came to her college on a surprise visit
    To see my girl that was so exquisite
    It was a school day, I knew she was there
    The first semester of the school year
    I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
    This guy made me fill out a visitors form
    He told me where it was and I as on my way
    To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
    I arrrived in front of the dormitory
    Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
    They showed me where it was for the moment
    I didnt know I was in for such an event
    So I came to her room and opened the door
    Oh, snap! guess what I saw?
    A fella tongue-kissin my girl in the mouth,
    I was so in shock my heart went down south
    So please listen to the message that I say
    Dont ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

  15. cruzin333

    I bet her daddy was one insisting she do it… so he could look at her pictures without being considered a perv.

  16. Iambananas


  17. Iambananas

    Yeah, it’s better to be known for “la-la” and Jessica Simpsons more annoying sister than that naked girl last month.

  18. Sean_Peadar

    I wonder if she’d ‘lip’ sinc for playboy… get it ‘lip’ sinc!


  19. Binky

    I think Playboy would sell more copies if they could score Marge Simpson.

  20. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    I can’t believe they were gonna give her 4 million dollars! I thought Hef had better standards than that.

  21. slickwilliejr

    ya, she doesn’t need to be in playboy….but she does need to be in porn with that long tongue.

    i wonder when her dad will comment on her oral ability like he comments on jessica’s huge bodagas.

  22. Iambananas

    slickwilliejr… what… WHAT?? When did THAT happen???? (about Jessica)???

  23. Iambananas

    I’ll give them a picutre of me nakes for $500…

    as a baby.

  24. Italian Stallion

    Someone should tell her you can catch more flies with sugar, but I guess her way can work too. I’m sure her tounge has fresh Joe Simpson sperm on it and the flies just stick right to it……………………

  25. Iambananas

    I think playboy would sewll more copies if they could score Janet Reno.

  26. Iambananas

    MyWellRehearsedMistake must be another jane’s eyre / feed_me_chocolate alias.

  27. Jacq

    If I had a penis, this is the flacid story of the day. Becuase, ya’ know, if I had one – I’d have a raging boner ALL OF THE TIME.

  28. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    Has to be… how else could she have got that record deal. Daddy’s probably been pimping her and her long tongue out to all his record exec buddies. (“pieces of me”) haha.

  29. Jacq

    #25 – Yesterday it was herbie. Now today I agree with you. They’d just have to strap Janet down to get her to lay still. S&M spread?

  30. Iambananas

    Jacq… too bad you’re sexless.

  31. Thanks, Ashlee, for doing us a favor. Nobody wants to see you, let alone naked.

  32. Jacq

    Aaaaaand Joe Simpson puts $3.95 back in his wallet (or whatever an issue costs).

  33. Lifestyles737

    im sure her father/reverend/manager/negotiator tried countering at 5 before turning the deal down all together

  34. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    26. and you claim you don’t wanna pick fights? I am my own mistake.

  35. justlikehoney1

    #2 – Did anyone EVER READ Playboy?

    #13 – exactly

    We (the employees) seem to understand that no matter how whack they are, a celebrity who is making money at the time is most likely not going to pose nude. Hef apparently doesn’t get it. As awful a singer as Ashley is, she surprisingly has a fan base that’s buying her records, buying tickets to her shows & keeping her in the public eye & on magazine covers. So, no need for her to pose nude – for now…….

  36. Iambananas

    I don’t know
    shes so plant
    like and idiosyncraties.

    It’s not like
    cept joe
    is watering that.

    lol beeyatches :-)

  37. ESQ

    I have absolutely no desire to see her nekkid…Hef was always about quality women is he slipping in his old age?

    Now if Jessica did pose that would be a whole new ballgame.

  38. bigponie

    I wish Vivid Videos would pay her 4 mil to have her anally gang-banged by 500 of the ugliest hobos, midgets, retards and finish her off with Ron Jeremy. Now that I’ll pay to go see

  39. jFp

    Is there some way we could fix her up with OJ Simpson and the ginsu knife people?

  40. Iambananas

    No… they are both highly religious and Christian and would never ear anything revealing, sing about sex or in any way sin like that.

  41. TrannyGranny

    Will Hugh Hefner fucking die already? This months issue has Vida Guerra in it. Vida. Fucking. Guerra. It’s not a particularly enlightened pictorial, she’s just doing the “artistic nude” thing that Playboy always does. BORING. I wanted to see her legs around the back of her head, spread open so wide that I could see her liver. And last nights dinner. Ok, at least her clothes are off, finally. But, Jess Simpsons anerexic brother? Senile old bastard! If he was an Eskimo, I’d be first in line to put him on an ice-flow and wave goodbye.

  42. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    35. She does have a fan base but isn’t it mainly young girls? They’re not gonna buy Playboy if she’s naked in it. It’s only if men like her that it’d sell well.

    Mind you, everyone like to see a train wreck even if we don’t want to admit it – maybe thats why they offered her the money. I mean look at Anna Nicole!

  43. ae1986

    “This may be the perfect time for her to do it. It could be one way for her to separate her image from Jessica’s.”

    Jessica has been looking like quite the whore lately with her tits hanging out all over the place…if Ashlee “seriously considered” posing, then it’s a big boobie competition!

  44. uni'tard

    tom cruise and co probably would give an arm and a leg to be offered 4mil for pictures of their daughter.

    not that i’m saying baby porn is stimulating (and it isn’t) but maybe heffy should consider other (desperate) sources.

  45. DLL



  46. Vida Guerra is Queen of the Butta face. And as for her infamous ghetto booty, well, I just call it a fat ass and leave it at that. I suppose if Playboy is going to have the likes of Vida gracing its cover, then why not Ashlee? The only reason she turned it down is because her boobie and nonie are for daddy’s eyes only. Isn’t that sweet?

  47. There is No way that Playboy offered her 4 million. That is more than double what they’ve ever paid anybody.

  48. M@ce

    @38 Nobody cares how long you have been annoying people on this site. Get back out in the fields and pick some more bananas you fucking peasant. I’ll tell you when it’s break time you feckless twat.

  49. jane's eyre

    Hey, M@ce, where you been?

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