Ashlee Simpson tries to speak, fails

October 26th, 2006 // 93 Comments
superficial

  1. PrettyBaby

    #41, I knew you couldn’t resist, you’re mine now and possibly #44 too YUM..

  2. radio4play

    wtf is wrong with her lips? it scares me

  3. BarbadoSlim

    Don’t worry sugar-tits I don’t hate ya’ and I don’t think any of the other men will, since you’re looking to get dicked.(pity Land-Man isn’t here anymore)

  4. ponk

    y’know she’s kinda cute, but i’d worry she might puncture my scrotum with that chin.

  5. PrettyBaby

    Her family outta be strung up for letting her do that to herself. Way to confirm that they think she is ugly naturally and she needs to resort to 50 surgeries to change herself into what they pray is Jessica’s clone.

  6. Pretty Baby—

    Boy, road scholar…one little mistake and, face it anyone could make that mistake. Suddenly you are the escape goat for all of Superfish.

    It is just not fair!

  7. PrettyBaby

    I love you

  8. CourtneyJade

    ok….are you smoking crack? ashley simpson has gotten cute? if you like fake!
    the problem here is that underneath all that plastic surgery is the same ugly person. one day her kids will wonder why they dont look like mommy and mommy will have to explain that she doesnt look like mommy either.

  9. I say if you have a cleft you should be proud and accentuate it like Nigel in Spinal Tap did when he put black eye liner on it. LOL God I love that movie.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  10. jrzmommy

    I’m going to quickly jump into my escape goat and zoom the fuck outta here!!

  11. Grobpilot

    “Escape goat”. Nice.

  12. PrettyBaby

    #62 Who are you in your real life?! You are funny!! And I am sure you are also cuter than Ashlee Simpson, so that makes you superior.

  13. PrettyBaby

    I mean #61….

  14. #4

    Man, she could yell, “Death to all that don’t sacrifice innocent blood to Federline spawn” and I’d still bang away.

  15. simon134

    Wearing Converse to a Sketchers photo shoot.

    GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. jrzmommy

    PrettyBaby, I’m a mommy from South Jersey and a hospital working kinda chick that eats jujyfruits and advocates the use of Stolichnaya for self-medication purposes — for anything from acne to PMS to post traumatic stress disorder. And you?

  17. estro_jen

    Does anyone else think that she is starting to look like the love child of Misha Barton and Heather Graham?

  18. PrettyBaby

    jrzmommy- I too am a mommy (but a single one ;) I work in a Real Estate office in Minneapolis for the Notorious 3 (Their love and admiration for me is incredible)- I love to go out and tear it up when the Boys are with Daddy. I prefer the delicious and slightly more expensive Skyy. And yes, I have been known to self-medicate in times of need.

  19. Sheva

    I need you Ashlee. I need you to just be quiet and then lay down.

    Thanks.

  20. cole007

    she is better than the dirty-looking sister.

    she is just as stupid, though – I think that whole family drank the water out of the tap in Richardson, TX. My own father started watching Fox news 24-7 as soon as he had a glass of the stuff… be warned. “They” put “stuff” in the water.

  21. mogirl69

    the arms on the poster look like they’re coming from her legs. further proof that ashlee simpson is a horrible, tentacled beast.

  22. Tracy

    Sure, Ashlee’s no prize, but the new nose is sooooo much better than that gigantic hook she had before. She had a good doctor.

  23. Betty Nuggs

    After your comment about her chin she is busy scheduling her next surgery.

  24. gunshotglamour

    Just another celeb that has proven being original sucks, and being like everyone else earns you a deal with a multi-million dollar company.

    Thank you, Ashlee.
    And Sketchers.

  25. Pwnstar

    I would snatch that ass UP ya smell me?

  26. Pwnstar

    I would snatch that ass UP! Ya smell me?

  27. aurealis

    Is she schlepping Sketchers, while wearing Cons? Cuz that’s kind of like trying to lip-sync to the wrong song… if you ask me.

  28. supanigga

    holy shit.

    she does look better than jessica. just look at that proactiv ad on the main page. jess looks ugly.

    jessica is just a short bag of tits.

    ashlee is proportional, except her chin of course.

    i’d bend her over the table and hit that.

  29. rissa

    even after all that plastic surgury, she still scares me. the grin… the one eye that is a half inch higher… the dead fish stare.

    she can’t speak, she can’t sing…
    but still she makes money.

    daddy done good.

  30. Captain Handsome

    Photo #2: there is a hand reaching out for help from between her legs…

    Good god! There is a man trapped in there! Somebody help! Somebody!

  31. HELLpenis

    Yeah she’s a retard.

    That nose job came out okay I guess. But her eye job looks like shit, she just looks weird and fake and somehow OLDER.

    That jacket fucking rules and I want it, I don’t care what anybody thinks. Anyone know the designer?

  32. playersvista

    Fret not, Crashlee’s chin is scheduled for a dicing. That too shall morph in time, trust! ;)

  33. I guess her cue cards were written by a Jap, or something. At least she can read.

  34. Sam

    I like the close up pics #5 and #6. :)

    http://www.ashleesimpsonguide.com/

  35. Sam

    I like the close up pics #5 and #6. :)

    http://www.ashleesimpsonguide.com/

  36. jlo2Be

    Does anyone else realize that she’s there to promote Skechers and she is in all the promo pics with freakin Converse on!!! All in favor…. Moron!!!!

  37. Fanny

    Wow #88, none of us noticed that at all!! In fact…it wasn’t even posted like 5 times previously. Idiot.

  38. boobtube

    she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any <25 year old ditz saying it. without the schnoz frankly i have no interest in her anymore – SHE IS DEAD TO ME

  39. boobtube

    she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any <25 year old ditz saying it. without the schnoz frankly i have no interest in her anymore – SHE IS DEAD TO ME

  40. Lilith

    I love how she is endorsing Sketchers sneakers and wearing converses.

  41. lol, why do they keep making crackheads famous? and she’s supposed to be a singer?!?

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