Ashlee Simpson thinks she’s the shit

April 26th, 2006 // 238 Comments

Ashlee Simpson claims she’s hotter than her sister Jessica, telling Scotland’s Daily Record: “I’m taller than she is and my legs are longer than hers. I got lucky because my chest size isn’t completely massive.”

As much as you want to, it’s hard to defend Jessica’s hotness when she looks like spends her free time hiding under bridges to scare children. I mean damn, take a shower already.



  1. No, you’re still a douche bag. Scratch that, douche bags serve a purpose. You are used douche water.

  2. Pearly

    I think what needs to be said is that the sad thing here is how Edna’s so much more interesting to pick on than easy targets like the blah Simpsons sisters.
    I also don’t think the above posts were from (the original) Edna.

  3. Ashlee Simpson is the most wonderful creature in the world. Okay, maybe the second most wonderful after Oprah’s Minge.

  4. Mr_White_Secure_American


  5. Pez_D_Spencer

    200: “You are all fake I am the only real person in the whole world.”

    Eeep! That’s textbook pschosis, pal. How many dead kids in your crawlspace?

  6. ellaminnowpea

    @203 hahahahahah!! Oprah’s Minge & Gary do Paris!!! CLASSIC!!!!

  7. biatcho

    189: Can you speak up? I couldn’t hear you what with this uptight Christian’s unsavory penis in my ear.

  8. Wait??? She’s not the shit?

  9. LittleWatson

    Ashlee looks like a sewer rat with extensions. She’s gross. Jessica is at least naturally pretty. With no makeup Ashlee looks like crap.

  10. Shelley Bonnechance

    Ashlee’s eyes look like two piss holes in the snow.

  11. CruisingForCock

    200 I don’t even want to think about how old they were in 82. Anyone know the statute of limitations on molestation?

  12. LittleWatson

    #211: why don’t you ask their dad, Joe Simpson?

  13. LadySpankington

    132 “I will stop this nasty internet talk. Just because you are on the internet does not mean you can say what you please.”

    Actually, we can, it’s called the 1st Amendment.

    BTW Edna, because of your “arrival” the comments have gotten signifigantly more vulgar. Maybe you should focus your efforts elsewhere… Cause before, this forum was fun to read, and now, it blows… it’s just people insulting you instead of insulting celebrities.

  14. Edna Bambrick

    It is a blessing to have others posing as me and trying to clean up the internet. Jesus looks down on all of us doing His work and I am sure he is please. The infidels who run the website may be able to ban me but my legacy will continue on. Christians have battled for more than 2000 years for righteousness and will we continue the good fight! Keep on my followers, we will stand together and take on this culture of vulgarity and depravity!

  15. Obadiah

    Edna’s back! She was at Lane Bryant. They had muumuus 20% off today.

  16. Trotter

    I just thinking that Jess and Ashlee should really wrastle in the nude to determine who is hotter. Joe Simpson will referee. The first sister who gets Joe to blow his load on her tits wins.

    My money is on Jess, as she has more experience with convincing performances. Ashlee is well known to be a faker. And Jess has always been “daddy’s little girl”.

  17. gogoboots

    Damn if she’s hotter than Jessica then I am too!

  18. BarryBonds

    I think Ashlee would be a demon in bed and a better fuck but not hotter than Jessica.

  19. YunGunna

    I would take both. I mean, why not? Any arguments against that?

  20. Vampyreska


    Edna I reported you for being a crazy religious freak. Jesus hates you. He told me himself. He thinks you are a moron. He told me you are going to hell.

    I think we should all pray for Edna’s soul.

  21. jkough

    This Edna is fake, where the hell are the all-cap screams?

  22. jkough

    #18 – I’m sure Edna doesn’t mean to misspell so often, it’s just that it’s sooo hard to type with her massively fat fingers.

  23. mamacita

    @174 and 181

    Don’t forget about the kids these days smoking all those marijuana cigarettes.

  24. sweetkelly

    Has Ashley failed to notice her nose is huge? I think so….and furthermore, they are both hideous!!!

  25. Trotter

    My mommy and daddy just left. Now I can get really high on reefer, put in my 50 Cents tape and try to get my bangs to hide the shiner dad gave me for touching myself down there.

  26. 86

    We are all just jealous.

  27. Sassy

    I used to work for the Daily Record.


  28. xd

    No matter how bad Jessica may look sometimes, that doesn’t make Ashlee any hot. She will always be ugly as shit no matter how her sister Jessica looks.

  29. Libraesque

    #196, hey Jav, thanks for the shout, but for now I’m bowing out of this site, it’s become completely un-readable. I’m over at Perez talking the right kind of trash, about celebrities!!!!!

  30. Queen Eva

    Hi everyone… I have been reading all of your outrageous comments for months now – I love you all! I finally signed in all because of Edna. I am gonna have to think of something clever so I can be reported too!

  31. jugsgirl

    #230: There is no need to be clever, read some of the other reported posts. All you need to do to be reported is be vulgar.

    Use some swear words like Cunt, Pussy, Dickhole, Cum Dumpster, or Balloon Knot.

  32. ellipsis

    someone need to cut their damn chins off.

  33. tsarinaamanda

    Oh Edna. Let’s get to the root of your deep seated psychological issues. Why do you hate the 1st Amendment so much? Did it kill your father and rape your mother? What makes you think you know what Jesus or God wants? Just because you masturbate to your velvet Last Supper picture doesn’t mean that you know what Jesus wants. We all know Jesus saves….at Bank of America, so drop the charade please.

  34. DonLes91

    “I got lucky because my chest size isn’t completely massive.”

    Since when is that a good thing?

  35. B-Bomb

    I saw MeganHarris doing Edna with a strap-on under the bleachers at school today.

  36. The Simpsons… They Are Just Funny… Peace Out…

  37. Seamus Begonia Smell

    <3 #209 and #210 <3 lol

  38. ERin K

    WHatever. Jessica Is Cuter Than Ashlee.

    and if ashlee DID get cuter than she was before, its cuz she has all that plastic surgery. Jessica didnt need to.

    i think what she said about her sister isnt cool and i almost dont believe its true.

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