Ashlee Simpson thinks she’s the shit

April 26th, 2006 // 238 Comments

Ashlee Simpson claims she’s hotter than her sister Jessica, telling Scotland’s Daily Record: “I’m taller than she is and my legs are longer than hers. I got lucky because my chest size isn’t completely massive.”

As much as you want to, it’s hard to defend Jessica’s hotness when she looks like spends her free time hiding under bridges to scare children. I mean damn, take a shower already.



  1. chanel_bear

    edna you lovable she-whale. you never answered the question. what do you prefer, the hot dog or the taco?

  2. Edna Bambrick

    #93: Maybe if you had a life other than the internet you could focus on things other than memorizing my way of speaking… grow up, child.

  3. biatcho

    Holy crap Edna. I think at this point me being reported by you this many times means we’re commonlaw by now, doesn’t it? LET”S GET IT ON (puts on yellow rubber gloves and wiggles fingers)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Edna Bambrick

    #100, 101: You are both reported. I will clean up the internet.

  5. chanel_bear

    oh fuck edna…what’s a girl gotta do to be reported?

  6. JammyDodger

    Maybe if u had a life other than eating and preaching you’d have friends Edna

  7. mrs.t

    bitch, please. I just got here. looks like you’ve been up the old poop chute for a while now.

  8. chanel_bear


  9. Edna Bambrick

    #107: You are reported. #106: I have friends, and I’m guessing your education is lacking. Get off the internet and read a book.

  10. chanel_bear

    once again, to the tune of ‘mandy’:

    oh edna,
    you left and we all really missed you,
    And now finally i’ve been reported,

  11. nbk

    #102 Edna, isn’t that funny? it seems to me you are the one who don’t have a life other than the internet.

  12. Edna Bambrick

    If you stopped obsessing over me, maybe you could focus on being a good person.

  13. JammyDodger

    Actually my education is not lacking- I have a masters and am doing a 2nd degree right now…so suck my dogs cock…oh wait thats ur mum isnt it?!

  14. Italian Stallion

    And Stallion said “let the fat get fatter and they shall die of the heartattack that holy cheetos will bistow on to them” “he who can preach the word of god and eat that many cheeseburgers and not be able to see their feet will live a great life in the superficial world” (Stallion: post whatever number it ends up : whatever time :April 26 2006)

  15. mrs.t

    somebody, please, make up some t-shirts with “Edna Reported Me, and I went back for more”. or something way funnier-I’m not witty today. I will buy at least ten.

  16. Edna Bambrick

    #113: You are reported, and do you think that makes you sound intellgent? Dosen’t really prove anything… think about that for a while, then grow up, then get back to me. For now, I’m ignoring and not read any posts you put up.

  17. chanel_bear

    Jesus H.Christ people! Can’t you see she’s on a God given mission to clean up the internet. Of course she should probably take her picture off the internet, that would help.

    seriously edna, the hot dog or the taco??

  18. WTF, if my sister said that i would kick her in the ass. what a beatch. I love it!

  19. Edna Dammit

    Hey Edna – Since you are on a first name basis with Jebus -you will know the answer to this.

    I live in Dover PA and that ass clown Pat Robertson says everyone who lives here is going to hell. Is he a total douchebag?

  20. JammyDodger

    Wahey…so Edna reports me and then refuses to read my posts…other people reunite against Edna in the name of all that’s good…do some extra from me…the old battleaxe won’t read mina apparently…fat whore,he rolls of flab are probably restricting vision

  21. diedl

    #109 – Oh EDNA! “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” YOU of all people are accusing OTHERS of not being educated?!?!?!? Hell truly HAS frozen over. WOW.

  22. Edna Bambrick

    #118: You are reported

  23. chanel_bear

    aaaaawwwwwwww…poor jammydodger. that’s okay, i’ll make fun of her extra for you.

  24. chanel_bear

    fucking hell edna….you made jammydodger upset. i’m sending some bad vodoo karma your way

  25. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    116 – The real Edna has immaculate grammar. You are an imposter. REPORTED.
    Hey, did you guys hear that Ashlee Simpson thinks she’s the shit?! What a bitch!

  26. JammyDodger

    Oh you star Chanel_bear!

  27. Edna Bambrick

    #124: You are reported.

  28. chanel_bear

    maybe she meant she looks like shit?

  29. chanel_bear

    okay, i’m up to twice reported, how many times has she done you guys?

  30. JammyDodger

    Well in my dreams loads!!! Oh Eddie poos…open wide

  31. Ez-EEEE

    edna loves the cunt. she goes to bars and picks up 20 something bi-curious girls and takes them back to her place playing the “mother figure” or the “free bible give away” or the “free twinkies and beer at my place” scams. then, when the girls are there and scared of edna’s massive shadow and rolling curves of fat… she forces them into dirty lesbian sex with them. the whole time shes licking and fingering wet shaven pussy she thinks “oh lord, punish me for my evil ways” and when its all done, and shes given a rim job to every 20 year old girl in the tri state area, she feels the need to preach to others to divert attn away from her own sins. for shame edna. i see your unpure mind, i hear your dirty thoughts. i know the things that turn you on when you think no one is watching. you are the last person to be preaching about moral character. you are reported edna. YOU are reported, and not to any earthly government entity… You are reported to the lord god almighty. may his wrath be as great as your waist.

  32. Edna Bambrick

    I will stop this nasty internet talk. Just because you are on the internet does not mean you can say what you please.

    Blessed is he in the name of good shepheards his weak through the valley of darkness.

  33. Edna Bambrick

    #133: You are reported.

  34. diedl

    Ahh edna, your neglect pains me . .and as far as your “reporting” goes . . . how is it that whomever you report to is above the 1st constitutional amendment of free speech? Or did you skip that chapter of American history in your Bible Belt education?

  35. Mohammad Saeid Al-Sheba

    Ms Bambrick, I think you should report me as well, because my name is Mohammad and I could be a threat to the national security.

    Before you start calling people ignorant, do you what ignorant is, lady?

    I just think this is probably what’s in your head right now:

    A Muzzie converts to Christian = Hallelujah!
    A Christian converts to Muzzie = terrorist.

  36. JammyDodger

    #131 You’re right- and u made Edna realise shes a dirty little whore and she reported herself!

  37. diedl

    133. Posted by Edna Bambrick on April 26, 2006 06:07 PM

    #133: You are reported.

    damn girl, you’re reporting YOURSELF now?

  38. Ez-EEEE

    everyone hide the children the towel heads got a fucking bomb!

  39. chanel_bear

    jammydodger is my new favourite person

  40. Edna Bambrick

    #136: You are reported.

  41. Edna Bambrick

    #138: You are reported.

  42. chanel_bear

    edna, jesus called again and said that if you don’t stop calling him he is going to have you reported for stalking.

  43. Edna Bambrick

    Smut, nothing but smut.

  44. Ez-EEEE

    about fucking time bitch. i been on here insulting your lard ass for days… and have yet to get reported.
    ps. go fuck yourself k? k. thanks bye.

  45. JammyDodger

    Thanks Chanel_bear…that last one was just for you ;-) ohh and of course Eddie…speaking of which…Edna dear, I’ve told you I dont like it when u masterbate over barney infront of me…I know u like big purple things but please stop!!

  46. Edna Bambrick

    Is everyone happy?

  47. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Posted by Edna Bambrick on April 26, 2006 06:06 PM

    I will stop this nasty internet talk. Just because you are on the internet does not mean you can say what you please.

    It doesn’t? Okay, Internet Gestapo, put down the crack pipe, learn to spell, and move to China. I hear their internet is just what you’ve been dreaming of.

    And P.S., everyone knows you’re just pretending to be Edna. You suck at it. But then you’re used to sucking, aren’t you, faux-Edna?

  48. chanel_bear

    that’s it….i’m calling the pope on you! nobody calls me smut and gets away with it. oh wait, i’m not catholic am i?

  49. missscoobie

    Edna, I saw that pancake you keep wrapped around your neck, are you going to share or eat it all yourself? Bitch.

  50. JammyDodger

    #142 love it!! Almost as much as Edna loves my bike in her anus

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