Ashlee Simpson takes on the Wentz name, joins proud lineage

May 28th, 2008 // 43 Comments

Ashlee Simpson is officially Ashlee Wentz. In a move destined to doom her even further into obscurity than her music career already has, Ashlee felt it wise to take on the name of her new husband – seen here with a plate over his face. He did get my letters! People reports:

Pete Wentz says he left the name change decision to his wife. “These decisions with Ashlee and her name are all completely up to Ashlee,” Wentz says. “I want her to do these kinds of things the way she wants to do them.”
Still, he admits, he was flattered. “Oh man, I was like upgrade me! You know what I’m saying? The Wentz family, our Christmas card just got upgraded!” he says. “It feels insane. It feels unreal.”

For those of you unable to zoom in, or with poor vision, Pete’s paper plate mask reads “Your ad could be here. E-mail Jon@Douchebag.com.” When I read something like that and hear Pete say “Upgrade me!,” I can’t help but feel overjoyed that these two reproduced. (Side note: I express joy through punching. Vigorous punching.) Now where’s the happy couple? I’ve got some brass joy I can’t wait to share with them. Ha ha! So happy!

superficial

  1. The must have shared girly giggles about that clever little trick for hours.

  2. He is so hot.

  3. nini

    stupid .. ass

  4. Veroonica

    Pete used to use “spunk”, instead of “ad” on his paper plate, but he’s a married man now! He has to get his kicks at the wayside like everybody else.

  5. nipolian

    Those crazy kids………always up to some sort of douchefuckery.

  6. jvoss101

    first!

  7. Jackson

    DRRRR….AT LEAST SHE DOESN’T USE BUTTPADS AND PHOTOSHOP TO HIDE HER FAT LIKE KIM KARDASKANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    BY THE WAY, I’M A HUUUUGE FUCKING RETARD….DRRRR

  8. Does anyone believe either of them are smart enough to spell things on that paper plate themselves? You know they had someone else write it.

    Oh, speaking of douche bags – #1 – you are one too!

  9. Jumpin_J

    Who says there’s no truth in advertising? You go, douche, er, Jon!

  10. HuckyDucky

    I actually think this guy is pretty cool. Seems like an awfully nice guy. He’s a good bass player, and I like the sound of his band. Good luck to them.

  11. Ted from LA

    HOLY COW!!!!!! What the fuck is the deal with those sunglasses? Cubs WIN, Cubs WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. jvoss101

    pete’s from fall out boy, right? i like their ‘we’re going down,down’ (title?) song

  13. WentzWurth

    I’ve love to punch that emo fag in his cunt.

  14. Flurggggghhhhhhh

    Paper plates are amazing.

  15. Guy

    Needs mental help if he thinks thats funny. I’m surprised she let him do something as retarded as that. Normally stupid girls hate anything bizarre like that and get embarrassed if their boyfriends act up and do something like that.

  16. Dave

    i fucking hate that whiny little fucker, what a total douchebag someone should tell him he looks like a fag with all that makeup seriously standards have dropped pretty far for rock stars

  17. Drunkman

    Who do you think spends more time on their hair…her or him?

  18. 12-
    hilarious!

  19. big teeth

    Nice chin job hachet face..

  20. NorCal

    Is he wearing a shrug? the short sweatshirt thing is for chix only dill weed

  21. Griff Mills

    I think the paper plate thing is a douchebag move….I can see them sitting and giggling….”hey, Ash, this will be sooooo funny”….douche

  22. havoc

    I thought it read MyBalls@YourChin.com

    .

  23. Auntie Kryst

    Maybe this emo douchefucker is frond of interweb lately? Did anyone tell that fucking asian phishing spammer that Pete’s face is up for sale??

    #12 nice one! That deserves an ice cold Budweiser.

  24. Melissa

    That stupid plate is rather fetching. That’s the best he’s ever looked!

  25. My Penis

    My fist wants to take out some ad space, what’s that site called again?

  26. snarky

    now if only they could get one for her face too

  27. snarky

    …although they would probably have to make a cut out in the plate to accommodate her chin

  28. BonaventureBassett

    Is anyone really surprised that Pete Wentz has an @douchebag e-mail account?

    Also, #11: we all know that’s you, Ashlee. No one else on earth and stand this tool, so you can stop hiding behind the HuckyDucky handle.

  29. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    women who take mens names when they get married are as thick as pig shit. Pathetic bitch Ashleeeeee SIMPSON

  30. 9 inches of pain

    Brass Joy? HILARIOUS

  31. justifiable

    If Michael Vick had had any damn sense, he’d have trained those pit bulls to maul frisbees and he’d be a hero this very minute.

  32. Tanya

    I see a baby bump!!!

  33. jvoss101

    where the hell do people get all the energy to hate celebs so much? *working up motivation, working up motivation* …they should just kill each other… *whooo, that was tough…*

  34. jesus christ. UPGRADE ME? let’s ALL punch him in the face.

  35. bubba

    FIRST!!!!!

  36. britney's weave

    from the thumbnails it simply looks like she’s walking around with jack, from the jack-in-the-box commercials.

    so fucking lame.

  37. justifiable

    #37 No way, Jack’s beef is tasty!

  38. kelly

    is it sad that i emailed that email address… just to see? LOL

  39. HuckyDucky

    It’s the real HuckyDucky. And yes I said that about this guy.

    Listen, it’s a rarity that band members can play their instruments these days. And this guy is a good bass player in a band of other good musicians.

    Yes, the emo haircut looks faggy. And I would wear one myself if I could be in a good band instead of in front of my computer all day.

  40. Rex

    What a ^%$&$%$ woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The magazine SEEKING GOSSIP reported her joined the beautiful women for wealthy men personals site “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ” and she is mentioned to find her
    sugar boy there! the magazine foolx she????????????or fools us????

  41. Danklin24

    Upgrade me? What the hell does that even mean? Either way its quite possibly the gayest thing a married gay man has ever said.

  42. Cougar Texas

    He really is a Jerry’s Kids Marathon in the making. This guy looks like he’s about 15 1/2 years old and he looks like he NEVER washes his hair. I’m just at a stuttering fucking loss for words at the idea of procreation with this tard.

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