Ashlee Simpson pities Jessica’s sad, lonely life

Ashlee Simpson would rather stick a gun in her mouth than trade places with big sister Jessica, according to People:

“She’s always saying, ‘Oh, I want a baby!’ ” Simpson tells October’s Redbook, on sale Sept. 22. “Being a mom’s so empowering and incredible. I’m one of those people who believes that life brings things to you at a certain time for a certain reason, and if you just go with it, that’s where the best moments come from.”
When asked about whether she envies sister Jessica, 29, for her freedom as a single gal, Ashlee responds: “I really don’t.”

Wow. Way to rub it in that you have a baby and your sister doesn’t. I mean, granted it’s Jessica’s own fault for not figuring out you’re supposed to have vaginal intercourse to get pregnant, but Tony Romo shares some of that blame, too. Along with John Mayer, Nick Lachey, Joe Simpson and me in about two seconds: Butt sex is how you make babies.

Photos: Splash News