Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz wedding photo, plus Jessica Simpson looking super classy

May 21st, 2008 // 80 Comments

Joe Simpson is a friggin’ genius. Not only does he sell photo rights of his daughter’s wedding to People, but also of Jessica Simpson drunk as shit at the reception – which makes the cover. Awww. Ashlee’s wedding really was a magical princess fairy tale dream come true. For Joe Simpson. Except that part where his little girl married some asshat, whats-his-name? Right, Chins Magoo.

Photo: People

  1. Ted Mosby

    Cute bulldog.

  2. Margaux and Liz

    what the fuck is up with that gay dog

  3. Peter

    The whole Simpson Family is lame. We need more pics of boobies.

  4. Lara

    firrrst biotches!!

  5. eh


  6. It's me Fuckers

    This is one issue of People I won’t be buying. I couldn’t care less about the Simpson family of douches.

  7. English BoB

    Never mind that shit, it looks like Shania Twains back on the market…

  8. English BoB

    Hey No.3 don’t slag the Simpson family off, i personally think the yellow one with no hair is kinda cool……

  9. gotmilk?

    that poor fucking bulldog. imagine what that thing has witnessed, i shudder.

  10. snarky

    I am still trying to absorb the fact that that Wentz guy isn’t gay afterall; I am very disappointed in my gaydar detector.

  11. snarky

    Shania Twain is looking rough in that photo on the side; she really has aged;Looks like she’s had some bad plastic surgery or something; her face looks weird and kinda stretched. And Mutt, you cheater, you! Thats a bad doggie!

  12. snarky

    I now understand why Ashlee had such a big schnozola; to counter balance that big fricken man-chin; good God get that thing shaved down, girl! Can you imagine the spawn these 2 will produce? Ick. I can’t stand the sight of either one of them; let alone a miniwentzer.

  13. Grunion

    Did he marry all of Ashley or just the chin?

  14. Auntie Kryst

    @7 Bob, despite your filthy limey heritage, I have to agree with you on the Shania story.. I can’t stand her music, but she’s easy on the eye.

    PS there is another reason to beat the crap out of that emofag Wentz. Regardless of the occasion, never ever dress up your dog.

  15. Gary

    Holy shit, look at that chin.

    Bitch looks like a crescent moon.

  16. NickiChick

    See now, I thought Jess was looking quite lover-ly in that white ruffle with black beads. However, what really won me over on Jess’ pic were the teeth sticking out over the top lip.


  17. Standard

    My indifference to the simpsons is monumental. I nodded off just typing this (as I’m sure you did reading this)


  18. Irishman

    Auntie Kryst why don’t you fuck off and leave Bob alone. Knocking him a right one is my privelege.

  19. Productivity Improvement

    Thanks for posting a bunch of boring shit this week. My productivity at work has increased!

  20. havoc

    Jesus, look at that chin!

    She looks like Quagmire from the Family Guy!

    Giggedy Giggedy…..


  21. Racer X

    Is Ashlee related to Glenn Quagmire, they seem to have the same chin?

    /giggity, giggity

  22. Jason

    Is that their dog? Or did they pump out a kid already?

  23. did somebody make a joke about quagmire already? oh they did? nevermind.

  24. ps: giggity giggity gooooooooo

  25. tulgeyhat13

    Ummm, are Tony Romo’s pants unzipped? It looks like Jessica’s getting boned from behind.

  26. If you hate “news” about dipshit celebs like these two – neither of which have enough talent to win a high school talent show ….. then stop buying garbage like People Magazine!

    Oh, #4 – you are a douche.
    #18 – you are a bigger douche.

  27. Jenny

    Never mind the chin, look at HIS comb-over! Holy snot, it looks like he is pulling hair from the back of his head and gelling the crap out of it.

  28. KEVIN

    Ashly has to do something with that manly awkward chin !

    I mean wasn’t a chin job more urgent than a nose job?????

    oh and she is a fucking retard and Pete is a faggot clown !

  29. Lara at @ #4, you repeatedly declare yourself first when you’re not. You are, and I hesitate to pass judgment, but here goes: A total fucking loser that should just die.

    Anyway, Pete Wentz is more likely to fuck that dog on his honeymoon that Asshole Simpson.

  30. well i think if pete is happy then i am happy i mean we wouldnt want a nother 2005 where he attempted suicide will we so if ashlee is there to help him then i am happy i love pete more then any thinng but if he and hemingway ,pandora,marley are happy with her then so am i …………and i love her music pete signed her with his record labet also lol

  31. mike

    all this name calling……. and who really deserves it?? Kassie. That’s who.

  32. Jason

    Looks like the two of them were hitched in the lobby of an airport museum.

  33. English BoB

    Thankyou Irishman for sticking up for me, kind of…

  34. Sophie

    Photographer: Alright, everyone together.

    Ashleeee: Oh my god my head is stuck to his head in an epic battle of hairspray.

    Pete: Who’s my little puppy wuppy guppy awwww

    Ashleeee: Hey Pete, scoot over, my chin needs more space

    Pete: Damn girl. You scoot over, my dog (aka boyfriend) needs to be in this shot.

    Ashleeee: You remembered the anal beads for tonight didn’t you?

    Pete: Yes, sheesh, they are around the dog’s neck.

    Photographer: Shit, I quit, here’s your fucking photo.

  35. fygu

    Where’s jackson to declare that at least the Simpson girls aren’t as fat as Kim Kardasshian? Or maybe how Kim should buy this issue of People magazine to read the Real Women success stories of how they lost 100 pounds?
    Shania Twain used to be supermodel gorgeous. I guess aging really does nothing good for any woman….Sigh. And I will buy this issue to read the weight loss success stories. Double sigh.

  36. andie

    His hair is stupid.
    Her chin is big.

    The dog is humiliated.
    Jess is in a downward spiral.

  37. Auntie Kryst

    @19 Paddy, I’m just taking the piss out Bob..

    Slán agat

  38. joe is the only simpson who’s allowed to smile.
    I think he makes a heluva lot of money because of the “stupid” actions of the FAKING sisters!!, it makes the SHITTING part for joe much, MUCH easier!!
    That brings us to the question: WHO IS/ARE DUMB?
    I know the answer already!!

  39. Married yesterday, on the cover today. Keep that celebritrain movin’!! Next!

  40. Jrz

    Oh, I see Ashley had the baby already……..

  41. Sophie

    Does anybody else know what the fuck #39 is saying? What language are you speaking?

  42. Tapeworm

    Why do people insist on calling Wentz an “emo”, when I think what they really mean is “cock sucking faggot”? I guess the 2 terms are kinda similar….

  43. mike

    Fug…all of ‘em

  44. mike

    Fug…all of ‘em

  45. Jackson


    Dude, I am trying to stop the urge, but you just got me started again!

    I think Jessica Simpson has great NATURAL CURVES which is unlike Kim Kardaskank’s FAT INDUCED CURVES plus her implants to make her body look balanced, get attention, and fix her pear shaped figure. Jessica has a GREAT NATURAL RACK whereas Kim has those FAKE IMPLANTS that feel weird and unnatural. Give me a natural rack any day! Jessica does not cover her tight shapely ass when wearing a swim suit which is unlike Kim Kardaskank because she has to cover her big fat loose wide cellulite sagging ass with a towel or sarong. Kim only shows her huge ass when it has been photoshopped or airbrushed because she knows she is your typical fat Amercian that relies on girdles and body shapers to improve her body unlike Jessica Simpson.

  46. Chupacabra


    oh, and @41. Jrz: GENIUS. Sheer genius.

  47. Ted from LA

    Homer is the only Simpson I ever liked.

  48. Alicat

    Does she wear so much eye make up to take the emphasis off her man chin?

  49. Anonymous

    OK, I have a question, and it’s an honest question, and try not to bash me too hard……but what the hell does “emo” mean? I honestly don’t know. Can someone enlighten me?

  50. Shayna

    Wow, that dog does not look one bit happy.
    And the pic of Jess, as much as I want to dislike her, pretty much proves that she isn’t broken up with Tony Romo. So those rumors are wrong I guess.

    p.s. Emo is a style of popular music that consists of feminine singers who sing about (you guessed it) their ‘emo’tions. And wearing tight pants and eyeliner is pretty much required.
    I like the music, but I fucking hate the fad aspect of it.

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