Joe Simpson is a friggin’ genius. Not only does he sell photo rights of his daughter’s wedding to People, but also of Jessica Simpson drunk as shit at the reception – which makes the cover. Awww. Ashlee’s wedding really was a magical princess fairy tale dream come true. For Joe Simpson. Except that part where his little girl married some asshat, whats-his-name? Right, Chins Magoo.
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| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
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Ted Mosby | May 21, 2008 at 10:51 am
Cute bulldog.
Margaux and Liz | May 21, 2008 at 10:52 am
what the fuck is up with that gay dog
Peter | May 21, 2008 at 10:53 am
The whole Simpson Family is lame. We need more pics of boobies.
Lara | May 21, 2008 at 10:53 am
firrrst biotches!!
eh | May 21, 2008 at 10:53 am
classic.
It's me Fuckers | May 21, 2008 at 10:55 am
This is one issue of People I won’t be buying. I couldn’t care less about the Simpson family of douches.
English BoB | May 21, 2008 at 10:56 am
Never mind that shit, it looks like Shania Twains back on the market…
English BoB | May 21, 2008 at 10:58 am
Hey No.3 don’t slag the Simpson family off, i personally think the yellow one with no hair is kinda cool……
gotmilk? | May 21, 2008 at 11:03 am
that poor fucking bulldog. imagine what that thing has witnessed, i shudder.
snarky | May 21, 2008 at 11:05 am
I am still trying to absorb the fact that that Wentz guy isn’t gay afterall; I am very disappointed in my gaydar detector.
snarky | May 21, 2008 at 11:08 am
Shania Twain is looking rough in that photo on the side; she really has aged;Looks like she’s had some bad plastic surgery or something; her face looks weird and kinda stretched. And Mutt, you cheater, you! Thats a bad doggie!
snarky | May 21, 2008 at 11:12 am
I now understand why Ashlee had such a big schnozola; to counter balance that big fricken man-chin; good God get that thing shaved down, girl! Can you imagine the spawn these 2 will produce? Ick. I can’t stand the sight of either one of them; let alone a miniwentzer.
Grunion | May 21, 2008 at 11:16 am
Did he marry all of Ashley or just the chin?
Auntie Kryst | May 21, 2008 at 11:16 am
@7 Bob, despite your filthy limey heritage, I have to agree with you on the Shania story.. I can’t stand her music, but she’s easy on the eye.
PS there is another reason to beat the crap out of that emofag Wentz. Regardless of the occasion, never ever dress up your dog.
Gary | May 21, 2008 at 11:18 am
Holy shit, look at that chin.
Bitch looks like a crescent moon.
NickiChick | May 21, 2008 at 11:18 am
See now, I thought Jess was looking quite lover-ly in that white ruffle with black beads. However, what really won me over on Jess’ pic were the teeth sticking out over the top lip.
Classy!
Standard | May 21, 2008 at 11:19 am
My indifference to the simpsons is monumental. I nodded off just typing this (as I’m sure you did reading this)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Irishman | May 21, 2008 at 11:20 am
Auntie Kryst why don’t you fuck off and leave Bob alone. Knocking him a right one is my privelege.
Productivity Improvement | May 21, 2008 at 11:26 am
Thanks for posting a bunch of boring shit this week. My productivity at work has increased!
havoc | May 21, 2008 at 11:28 am
Jesus, look at that chin!
She looks like Quagmire from the Family Guy!
Giggedy Giggedy…..
.
Racer X | May 21, 2008 at 11:29 am
Is Ashlee related to Glenn Quagmire, they seem to have the same chin?
/giggity, giggity
Jason | May 21, 2008 at 11:29 am
Is that their dog? Or did they pump out a kid already?
http://www.funderoos.com | May 21, 2008 at 11:31 am
did somebody make a joke about quagmire already? oh they did? nevermind.
http://www.funderoos.com | May 21, 2008 at 11:33 am
ps: giggity giggity gooooooooo
tulgeyhat13 | May 21, 2008 at 11:33 am
Ummm, are Tony Romo’s pants unzipped? It looks like Jessica’s getting boned from behind.
sportsdvl | May 21, 2008 at 11:41 am
If you hate “news” about dipshit celebs like these two – neither of which have enough talent to win a high school talent show ….. then stop buying garbage like People Magazine!
Oh, #4 – you are a douche.
#18 – you are a bigger douche.
Jenny | May 21, 2008 at 11:45 am
Never mind the chin, look at HIS comb-over! Holy snot, it looks like he is pulling hair from the back of his head and gelling the crap out of it.
KEVIN | May 21, 2008 at 11:46 am
Ashly has to do something with that manly awkward chin !
I mean wasn’t a chin job more urgent than a nose job?????
oh and she is a fucking retard and Pete is a faggot clown !
dude | May 21, 2008 at 11:47 am
Lara at @ #4, you repeatedly declare yourself first when you’re not. You are, and I hesitate to pass judgment, but here goes: A total fucking loser that should just die.
Anyway, Pete Wentz is more likely to fuck that dog on his honeymoon that Asshole Simpson.
Kassie | May 21, 2008 at 11:52 am
well i think if pete is happy then i am happy i mean we wouldnt want a nother 2005 where he attempted suicide will we so if ashlee is there to help him then i am happy i love pete more then any thinng but if he and hemingway ,pandora,marley are happy with her then so am i …………and i love her music pete signed her with his record labet also lol
mike | May 21, 2008 at 11:56 am
all this name calling……. and who really deserves it?? Kassie. That’s who.
Jason | May 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Looks like the two of them were hitched in the lobby of an airport museum.
English BoB | May 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Thankyou Irishman for sticking up for me, kind of…
Sophie | May 21, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Photographer: Alright, everyone together.
Ashleeee: Oh my god my head is stuck to his head in an epic battle of hairspray.
Pete: Who’s my little puppy wuppy guppy awwww
Ashleeee: Hey Pete, scoot over, my chin needs more space
Pete: Damn girl. You scoot over, my dog (aka boyfriend) needs to be in this shot.
Ashleeee: You remembered the anal beads for tonight didn’t you?
Pete: Yes, sheesh, they are around the dog’s neck.
Photographer: Shit, I quit, here’s your fucking photo.
fygu | May 21, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Where’s jackson to declare that at least the Simpson girls aren’t as fat as Kim Kardasshian? Or maybe how Kim should buy this issue of People magazine to read the Real Women success stories of how they lost 100 pounds?
Shania Twain used to be supermodel gorgeous. I guess aging really does nothing good for any woman….Sigh. And I will buy this issue to read the weight loss success stories. Double sigh.
andie | May 21, 2008 at 12:18 pm
His hair is stupid.
Her chin is big.
The dog is humiliated.
Jess is in a downward spiral.
Auntie Kryst | May 21, 2008 at 12:20 pm
@19 Paddy, I’m just taking the piss out Bob..
Slán agat
gerard Vandenberg | May 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm
joe is the only simpson who’s allowed to smile.
I think he makes a heluva lot of money because of the “stupid” actions of the FAKING sisters!!
O.K.now, it makes the SHITTING part for joe much, MUCH easier!!
That brings us to the question: WHO IS/ARE DUMB?
I know the answer already!!
Famous Plastic | May 21, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Married yesterday, on the cover today. Keep that celebritrain movin’!! Next!
Jrz | May 21, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Oh, I see Ashley had the baby already……..
Sophie | May 21, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Does anybody else know what the fuck #39 is saying? What language are you speaking?
Tapeworm | May 21, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Why do people insist on calling Wentz an “emo”, when I think what they really mean is “cock sucking faggot”? I guess the 2 terms are kinda similar….
mike | May 21, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Fug…all of ‘em
mike | May 21, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Fug…all of ‘em
Jackson | May 21, 2008 at 1:11 pm
##36
Dude, I am trying to stop the urge, but you just got me started again!
I think Jessica Simpson has great NATURAL CURVES which is unlike Kim Kardaskank’s FAT INDUCED CURVES plus her implants to make her body look balanced, get attention, and fix her pear shaped figure. Jessica has a GREAT NATURAL RACK whereas Kim has those FAKE IMPLANTS that feel weird and unnatural. Give me a natural rack any day! Jessica does not cover her tight shapely ass when wearing a swim suit which is unlike Kim Kardaskank because she has to cover her big fat loose wide cellulite sagging ass with a towel or sarong. Kim only shows her huge ass when it has been photoshopped or airbrushed because she knows she is your typical fat Amercian that relies on girdles and body shapers to improve her body unlike Jessica Simpson.
Chupacabra | May 21, 2008 at 1:32 pm
GODDAMN, I can’t STAND his FUCKING HAIR!
oh, and @41. Jrz: GENIUS. Sheer genius.
Ted from LA | May 21, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Homer is the only Simpson I ever liked.
Alicat | May 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Does she wear so much eye make up to take the emphasis off her man chin?
Anonymous | May 21, 2008 at 2:49 pm
OK, I have a question, and it’s an honest question, and try not to bash me too hard……but what the hell does “emo” mean? I honestly don’t know. Can someone enlighten me?
Shayna | May 21, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Wow, that dog does not look one bit happy.
And the pic of Jess, as much as I want to dislike her, pretty much proves that she isn’t broken up with Tony Romo. So those rumors are wrong I guess.
p.s. Emo is a style of popular music that consists of feminine singers who sing about (you guessed it) their ‘emo’tions. And wearing tight pants and eyeliner is pretty much required.
I like the music, but I fucking hate the fad aspect of it.