Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are officially engaged. The two announced their unholy asshat union on their blog Friends or Enemies:
THIS JUST IN FROM ASHLEE SIMPSON “We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.”
- Ashlee and Pete
It’s early in the morning so I just want to wish Ashlee and Pete the best. Also, the wedding cake’s on me. It’ll be a delicious marble with equal parts typhoid, Al Qaeda and, because I love you guys, Criss Angel. Congrats!
UPDATE: Us Magazine got a “no comment” from Ashlee’s rep asking if there’s a bun in the oven. The rep instead pointed Us to the above comment from Friends or Enemies. And, fuck, these two reproduced. Super. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue – but not the wrong day to quote Airplane. I win!
yo | April 10, 2008 at 10:10 am
they’ll be divorced in six months.
congrats!
michy | April 10, 2008 at 10:10 am
who is this asshole?he is short and ugly!!
bakinmycake | April 10, 2008 at 10:11 am
Kids..this is what happens when you do drugs….
Jimbo | April 10, 2008 at 10:12 am
Does she know the differnce between tuna and chicken? Does she know that Chicken of the Sea is really tuna??
justifiable | April 10, 2008 at 10:12 am
#1 He’ll sue for custody of the eyeliner.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 10, 2008 at 10:18 am
I bet he feels like a real fucking rebel. Let’s line up and take turns kicking him in the pussy.
Janine | April 10, 2008 at 10:20 am
Why would she want to get engaged to a guy who is so obviously in the closet! I don’t get it.
Too-Many-Fucktards-In-The_world | April 10, 2008 at 10:21 am
I’m guessing he’s “engaged” to this ugly tramp with the hope that he’ll get to fuck Jessica.
Maybe a three-way with the sisters – Papa Joe says it’s the best!!
Auntie Kryst | April 10, 2008 at 10:24 am
Meh..good for them. Ugly douchebags should marry, why ruin two families right?
sherry | April 10, 2008 at 10:30 am
yeah she doesnt look like her sister in those pix maybe she will find herself and quit being a wannabe jessicia
Veroonica | April 10, 2008 at 10:31 am
Instead of throwing Rice, we’ll spray them with douche water. Congrats asswipes! Seriously. I hate those two fucking Trannys.
Jay Leno | April 10, 2008 at 10:32 am
Who is the chick with the freakishly big chin……… even by my standards. So did she go into the plastic surgeons office with a picture of me and say I want that times 10? Weird. I am flattered though
deacon jones | April 10, 2008 at 10:36 am
Publicity stunt, he’ll dump her ass in 3 years.
This guy’s a fucking moron, he could be running trains on 16 year olds backstage and he’s got this big chinned ostrich instead. His bandmates must fucking kill him when she’s not around.
hey wait | April 10, 2008 at 10:38 am
i think i saw that chin move…
PS: are they twins ?
tina | April 10, 2008 at 10:52 am
She is so cute.
tina | April 10, 2008 at 10:55 am
Nice couple. I envy them. But even celebs are lonely sometimes. Someone saw her profile with hot photos on Richsoulmate.com. A joke made by someone? Believe it or not. Many celebs are looking for their true love there.
Anonymous | April 10, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hey tina, you worthless piece of fucking shit spammer: Take your identity stealing websites and stick them up your fucking ass, you fucking asswipe. You can’t even spam in fucking English. Fucking douchebag.
Hey, everyone, here is the info for this fucking dicklick who posts these identity stealing websites:
Du Qiang, ecomfun@aol.com, 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States (650) 906-0405
Bombard this cocksucker with hate mail.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | April 10, 2008 at 11:01 am
“We consider this to be a very private matter…”, so we’ll publish it on our blog.
Now that Pete has a beard, he can join the scientologists.
total_pimp | April 10, 2008 at 11:02 am
@7 AMEN!
holy shit…. the lines comin up from ’round the corner
Uncle Eccoli | April 10, 2008 at 11:04 am
Private matter my ass… These people have no right to pick and choose which aspects of their lives should be ‘private’ when they’re profiting purely from their own celebrity. Jennifer Lopez, for example, sells the rights to the first photographs of her spawn for public consumption and will then turn around and expect ‘privacy’ for the little rat bastards as they grow up. What a load. Celebrities make me fucking sick.
Tom | April 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
One thing is certain, their child will have a very “prominent” chin.
Gunion | April 10, 2008 at 11:11 am
I wonder if she will lip sync her vows
Superevil | April 10, 2008 at 11:14 am
meh, she looked better in ’04. He can have Jessica 2.0
Anonymous | April 10, 2008 at 11:27 am
Hey amy, you little cunt spammer: Why don’t you fuck off?
Hey, everyone, here is the info for this fucking dicklick who posts these identity stealing websites:
Du Qiang, ecomfun@aol.com, 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States (650) 906-0405
Bombard this cocksucker with hate mail.
ph7 | April 10, 2008 at 11:32 am
Young stars should NEVER get married. Divorce is a given.
Jeezy | April 10, 2008 at 11:46 am
Couple of huge-chinned, no talent pussies.
Ted from LA | April 10, 2008 at 11:50 am
I hope they got a 2 for 1 on the haircuts.
whatever | April 10, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Can’t wait until they start popping out midget containers of vinegar solution, I mean, kids.
ubee0173 | April 10, 2008 at 12:01 pm
they posted thier announcement for thier fans???? they have fans? no way- god, how embarrassing for them, to think people want to know these things… i should have a blog for every time i do somethin… i can post– for my ‘fans’- everytime i pee or do laundry… its about as interesting as these douchetards..
yukadoozer | April 10, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Aw. Matching chins, greasy hair-together 4ever!
SLASH | April 10, 2008 at 12:06 pm
#31 you took the words right out of my fingertips
Sunflower | April 10, 2008 at 12:13 pm
OMG! What is Pete Wentz? All of 5’2″ tall? He shouldn’t be posing for pictures, he should be wearing a little hat and slippers with bells on them like the rest of the gnomes in my garden.
HuckyDucky | April 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Wow. Two music industry/Hollywood young people who have been together for two years and are getting engaged. They must love each other. That is unusual. I think that is nice.
tanya | April 10, 2008 at 12:37 pm
That guy has a watermelon for a head
Ted Mosby | April 10, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Papa Joe will leave his mark on this marriage.
R | April 10, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Those two will have the most chin-tastic offspring.
Seriously, I thought she went under the knife to have that thing fixed?!
tallytastic | April 10, 2008 at 12:53 pm
six months? i give them less than that…
aww, but how cute they have the same hair dresser. *barf*
Stuey | April 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Just remember Ashlee, one of the lyrics of his songs is, “He tastes like you…but sweeter.”
I’m just saying.
misjade | April 10, 2008 at 1:15 pm
She looks a lot like Shannon from Danity Kane now.
Alys | April 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm
They look like cartoons!, they are ugly man.. what a couple!!..
Mellie | April 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I didnt know Ashley was a lesbian….
lola | April 10, 2008 at 1:36 pm
the fallout boy is cute! but not sexy. he is better looking than ashley but who cares. they seem happy and ashley had been the teased ugly sister for long enough
Anal Fistula | April 10, 2008 at 1:37 pm
holy chin-plants batman!
toolboy | April 10, 2008 at 2:46 pm
41-
More like Quagmire from Family Guy. giggity giggity goo!
Scott | April 10, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Hey everyone- these two are not ugly. Ashlee is cute as a button and Pete is a famous rockstar who sells millions of records. They’re not gorgeous people, but let’s not get carried away here. There are many celebs that really are ugly (Pink, Britney Spears, Scary Spice, etc.) let’s focus the hate on the right people or this site and its viewers might start losing credibility…
Grunion | April 10, 2008 at 3:12 pm
“let’s focus the hate on the right people or this site and its viewers might start losing credibility…”
This site has credibility? That’s fucking hillarious. Seriously I’m dying over here I’m laughing so hard.
Thats gold Jerry, gold..
umm ok | April 10, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Holy shit, they both have the most awful chins! grajfvdolfgk.fgg..g….
motorboating sumbitch | April 10, 2008 at 3:42 pm
#47 The “right people”? I nominate you, Scott, you’re one right there. Who else other than a perfect assmop calls anyone “cute as a button”?
Well, OK, my 80 year old Aunt Sophie would, and thats why I’m thankful as fuck she ain’t on the ‘net.
Uh | April 10, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I didn’t know they allowed gay marriage now.
Miserable Bastard | April 10, 2008 at 4:09 pm
They appear to be standing in front of an IQ-ometer of some sort.