Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz to wed next week (I’ll bring the shotgun!)

May 7th, 2008 // 43 Comments

First, sorry for two Ashlee Simpson ‘s post in a row. Totally unplanned. Please, don’t kill me. Anyway, Ashlee and Pete Wentz are reportedly walking down the aisle next week! Somebody apparently whipped out the shotgun and my money’s on Joe Simpson. And, no, not for his daughter’s honor. Ha ha. That’s rich. Seriously, you should be writing this instead of me. Hollyscoop reports:

A source close to the couple has told Hollyscoop exclusively, “The wedding invitations have been sent out, its taking place the weekend of May 16. The location will not be revealed until the day of the wedding but guests are told it will be an hour drive from Los Angeles.”
Our source also confirmed that Ashlee is 100% pregnant. Papa Joe is probably busy selling off the wedding info and pictures as we speak so expect to see it in the tabloids Memorial weekend.

Joe Simpson is probably the coolest dad in the world. Not only does he sell the photo rights to his daughter’s unborn child but to her shotgun wedding as well. This is almost better than the gift he got Ashlee for her Sweet 16. Which was a boob job for her sister Jessica. God, that’s sweet. *sniff* And my own father wouldn’t even play catch with me… I can’t help it I’ve got flippers for arms!


  1. Ted from LA

    I can’t make the wedding. I’l be at the Preakness. I hope it lasts a year or two.

  2. Elizabeth


  3. Jumpin_J

    Isn’t this all a bit extreme to promote an new album? I mean I know it’s getting know attention and all, but really….

  4. Guy

    Ugh, old foggie emos…

  5. Ted from LA

    Where is everyone? Did they close this site down? Auntie Kryst? Binky? Frist? Moe? Larry? Greg? Marsha? Fish? Wojo? Barney? Otis?

  6. I heard Deacon Jones is going to be there. You know he hangs with that crowd..

  7. Nebraska

    What the hell is 100% pregnant? Can someone be 37% pregnant? Or, 247% pregnant?

  8. Spazz

    I hate that fucking homo. Nice yellow glasses fag.

  9. CMan

    1 hours drive from LA, that sounds like Santa Barbara.

  10. I’m still here!! But I do have a life, it’s not like I just lurk on this site all day like some kind of site lurker..

  11. morga

    I want to punch both of them in the throat for those eyewear choices…

  12. meh

    C-Man, Santa Barbara is only a 1 hour drive from LA if you’re on the road at 3 AM driving 105 MPH. Trust me. Even then it’s an hour and 15 minutes. Anyway. On to more important things. Why is she famous and who is this guy? Oh, and I wish someone would tell these goddamn kids that this type of fashion was horrible in the 80′s and it’s even worse now.

  13. Auntie Kryst

    @5 I’m here, but I was distracted. I was on Hot looking for a wedding gift for these douchefuckers..

  14. Sloane

    Both ugly! Both lame! Both talentless hacks! I can’t think a a more perfect couple!
    Congratulations you two!

  15. Mike

    Jimbo………FIRST……………both of you are here……….COOL!!!

  16. Mike

    Woops…………sorry mean FRIST.

  17. Gunion

    Thier baby will simply be a chin with legs and shit taste in music.

  18. I wonder if that kid is going to be born with douchey emo hair?

  19. Deva

    Sure sign of the apocalypse right there. Anyone got a noose handy?

  20. Jeezy

    California allows gay marriage?

  21. veggi

    Are those stretch pants?? I sure hope so!! Where’s the “RELAX” T-shirt??

  22. Wedding Invitation

    Attire for the Wenz-Simpson nuptials is strictly black tie. A skinny black tie worn loosely over your $80 replicated vintage 70s concert tee-shirt brah! Let’s fuckin’ faux rrrrawk!!

  23. Emma Frost

    Now is the time for Jessica to come out with a cover of “White Wedding” and get her career back. “Hey little sister SHOTGUN”

  24. Emma Frost

    Weird emo alienn douche baby wil come of this unholy commercialized union. They look like they both help eachother with bulimia. Looking at them is helping me. BLECH

  25. big teeth

    Nice chin job hachet face…

  26. Jacqueline Hyde

    Santa Barbara is 2 hours from LA. I know, I made the drive every weekend. One hour from LA means my home town of Ojai. That’s where all the celebs either live or visit or get married at. I don’t want that filth in my town, man.

  27. nipolian

    In this case I think 1 hour from LA means San Bernardino….that is about as classy a place as these two fucknards could muster for a wedding.

  28. Ted from LA - All New and Improved

    Hey Ted! Why didn’t you ask about me? I thought we were…close.

  29. Randal

    Ashlee and Pete,

    Congratulations is well deserved you two!

    I’ve seen the two of you posted about on the site before but this news has certainly taken me by surprise. Remember Ashlee, you don’t need to be married to have a child but what you will need is lots of love to give, which I’m sure you’ll have in large amounts!

    All the best to you and Pete on your special day.

    Take care,


  30. dude

    Yawn, don’t care.

  31. mcbeef


    are you fucking retarded or something?

  32. pistola

    this guy is SO unattractive to me. i don’t care if he’s a “musician”… i don’t know how she finds the will to fuck him.

  33. confused

    This is a serious question.

    Is it possible that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are actually the *same* person? They have the same face, same jaw line, same hair, same aire of stupidity and complete lack of appeal. Mayhaps it is a trick of the camera. Or mirrors. Or both. Or Papa Joe just cloned them both from one of Jessica’s breast ‘s stem cells.

    Empirically prove that, bitches.

  34. John from OC

    They have matching bangs. The other day, I went to the hair stylist to get the same look. I think Pete has SUCH style. I want to be just like him.

  35. Dayum


    That’s a hard jawline.

    She looks like a TRANNY in pic #4.

    It’s okay..plastic surgery can fix that too!

  36. Ted from LA

    Hi #28,
    Where have you been?

    One of your best yet.

  37. confused

    John (#34), you should have an open casket on your big day so everyone can laugh.

  38. agree

    She is so beautiful. Her blog and photos were found at milllionaire&celeb datingsite —”W e a l t h yR o m a n c e .c o m”—- last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is seeking on that site.

  39. anyone know where ashlee’s sweatshirt is from??? i actually really like it.

  40. He wanted people to see him as ANOTHER FAGGOT?
    The glasses really weren’t nessecary.
    We all already knew!!

    meet: pete WEASEL!!

  41. MeanJean

    Hey Ashlee – just because you CAN dye your hair red doesn’t mean you should. It makes your face look ashy. Yuck!
    Signed someone who’s pale enough to pull off red hair.

  42. Heather

    i agree.. she DOES look like a tranny in pic #4!!

    haha id say ‘PLASTIC SURGERY, HONEY!!’ but… well.. whats left to change NOW? besides that GIGANTIC chin!!!

    she could hang her dad off that thing, so hed never have to leave her side.

    WAIT, no. hed never leave HER FACE!!! hed get some good shots there, wouldnt he!

  43. These two have had such troubled lives it’s like they make the perfect couple.

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