Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz shotgun wed, world surprisingly remains on axis

May 18th, 2008 // 45 Comments

Well, it’s official: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz tied the knot. I didn’t really think this counted as news until I found out Jessica Simpson was involved AND brought Tony Romo as her date despite reports he banged half of Chicago. Now that’s love. Anyway, People has the nuptial details complete with baby rumors:

Simpson, 23, wore an ivory lace wedding gown by Monique Lhuillier and jewels by William Noble as she and Wentz, 28, exchanged vows in front of 150 guests at her parents’ Los Angeles area home.
Dad Joe Simpson performed the non-denominational ceremony, while sister Jessica served as maid of honor. Wentz’s English bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Jessica’s boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, as well as actor Donald Faison with girlfriend CaCee Cobb.
Simpson, who sources say is pregnant with the couple’s first child, and Wentz, the bassist for Fall Out Boy, have been linked since the fall of 2006, when they were spotted kissing at a New York nightclub. They announced their engagement last month.

Being the selfless, loving father that he is, Joe Simpson sold the photo rights to Ashlee and Pete’s wedding, so, since we can’t see any yet, I included shots that’ll help us pretend we’re there – which I’m totally doing. Yup, I can see it now: The happy couple are exchanging hand-written vows at the altar while I sit quietly in my pew ogling Jessica Simpson’s breasts. And, aww, Tony Romo saw me and is getting ready to Hail Mary the ring bearer at my face. *sniff* I love weddings.

EDIT: Added pics of Tony and Jessica arriving together. Is it me or is she burping in these photos? God, she’s perfect…

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Stephanie

    Why’d she deny it so long? What’s the point of lying?

  2. haha

    nice suit

  3. isitin

    Loser couple, fucking emos………………………

  4. You do not know how much I needed a trout slap just now.

  5. mimi

    FISH-GUTZ SUKS

  6. evianobaby

    I dont even care enough to make a proper comment

    HA!

  7. English Bob

    No-one can say she doesn’t do her bit for charity, marrying this lift accident victim….

  8. Ted Mosby

    I so want to hit both Jessica and Ashlee. but Papa Joe got to them first.

  9. Quinn

    Oh dear god… the CHIN!!
    Looks like she had half of an infant skull implanted into her chin.

  10. eh

    this couple should for ever now be referred to as “the chins”

  11. Guy

    nice grandpa pants, are they up to his nipples?

  12. Auntie Kryst

    I am really hoping these douchefuckers plan to honeymoon in Mexico where beating the shit out of emos is almost as popular as soccer..

  13. THERE IS A FUNERAL GOING ON?

  14. boo

    I wish that any time a celebrity sells their baby or wedding pictures to a magazine, people would boycott that issue.

    Also, Pete looks very schlumpy in this picture.

  15. Asian Sensation

    That’s the worse fitting tux I’ve ever seen. It makes him look like a short monkey next to an amazonian. You know, the one who pops outta the box in the Phantom of the Opera musical. Only Pete’s muzak is worse.

  16. gay4girls

    I’m really concerned about all these douches (maddens, this ass clown, john mayer, etc.) getting all of this rich girl na-na. They’re reversing evolution! This is horrible. We’ll be hobbits within two generations.

  17. Binky

    My sources are saying she couldn’t remember her vows and decided to lip sync the whole ceremony.
    Joe backed her on this pointing out it could help in any future annulment case.

  18. Geez, he looks like an undocumented worker heading off to his Mariachi side gig.

  19. Matt

    Nice suit Urkel.

    Got any cheeeeeeeeeeese?

  20. I give it ten months.

  21. Harry Ballzack

    uhh – yeah – And right about now Alice is puking in Wonderland while Ashlee and dip-shit go hunting white rabbits at their reception

  22. SlyAndTheFamilyStone

    Is Wentz the son of Trent Reznor and Tattoo? A little souvenir from Fantasy ISland perhaps?

  23. Cid

    Looks more like a cumburp for Jessica. She’ll do anything to try to keep a man, not that it ever works.

  24. free lily

    His head looks huge

  25. Jason Simmons

    I can’t stand Ashlee (spell your f’n name right), Jessica or the Simpson Dad. That whole family blows. The only family that comes close is the Hilton family. At least I am not the only one who hates Paris…..I ran into a pretty funny rant about the Hilton “giraffe” on ThingsWhitePeoplehate.com. Paris Hilton is a giraffe

  26. OC Dee

    Ashlee should have wore flats so she does not have to slouch for photos with her hubsband.

  27. Solaera

    Paris Hilton is a Praying Mantis….

    Ew, ew, EEWWW. Pete Wentz is the ugliest, troll-looking, dorky-dwarf motherfucker I have ever seen. God. He looks like an unshelled turtle. Leave it to a Simpson to marry something resembling the missing link.

  28. jakebarnes

    Ashlee Simpson married Fredo Corleone?!

  29. lj

    According to an eye witness, Jess and Tony barely talked and Jessica looked unhappy the whole time. Don’t believe the People article.

  30. 23apples

    Looks like they’re having a riveting conversation in the car there.

    And did Pete Wentz have a cleft lip/palate at some point in his life? Because sometimes it looks like he’s gotten the reconstructive surgery to fix one

  31. HELLO!?

    CLEARLY neither fish nor the rest of you read the quote carefully…who cares about anything else…his DOG was the ring bearer…really, it just doesn’t get any classier than that.

  32. bootlips

    They both seem to think they’re important. He dresses like he’s a rock star and she acts like she’s royalty. They make me sick.

  33. Steve Dave

    He looks like Tattoo from Fantasy Island…only shorter.

  34. Corlyss

    If he could look more like an old man, that would be wonderful. What the hell kind of fashion trend is supposed to be sporting here? Geriatrics? Pull the pants down a little bit. Not only is the waist band not supposed to be up to your nips, there’s no flood coming. You live in the dust bowl of California.

  35. Dudette

    #33

    lol! Good one dude!

  36. texas

    People reports that Tony and Jess were happy. Bull crap. Eonline says that they barely interacted all night long. Tony is talking to Carrie Underwood anyway.
    Theres a whole article on them in The National Ledger 5/18

  37. Ted from LA

    She married Gomer Pyle?

  38. Lana

    Pete looks like he’s about to die. LOL. I can only imagine what the wedding will be like — a funeral for Pete.

  39. STevec

    is Pete a dwarf?

  40. um a shotgun wedding is a wedding that occurs because the chick is knocked up.. is she pregnant?

  41. Pepper

    WHY IS IT THAT THESE TWO ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY NEED TO BE DUNKED IT A BUCKET OF SOAP?

  42. Chris

    Apparently Pete didn’t hear the news that gay marriage is now legal in California. He probably makes Ashley tie her hair back and wear a fake moustache.

  43. Jason

    Looks as if they were hitched in the lobby of airport museum.

  44. Heather

    pete wentz used to be a hero.
    now, along with Avril Lavinge and Ben Cousin,
    HES JUST A JACKARSE!!!!!

  45. I honestly could care less about these two– doesn’t seem like they’re going to last. HOWEVER, I love, love, LOVE Pete’s bulldog. Cutest! Show more pictures of Hemingway!

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