With her new nose and giant sunglasses Ashlee Simpson is starting to look suspiciously a lot like Paris Hilton. Although if she’s planning to take her identity and inherit her fortune, she’s gonna have to work on looking less like she just saw a unicorn dancing on a rainbow, and more like she thinks poor people should be ground into soap and used to wash her car.
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
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Lindsay Lohan's Platinum Blonde Locks: Yay or Nay? (PHOTOS) |
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 2:45 pm
zing
Jacq | May 10, 2006 at 2:49 pm
At least she’s wearing shoes.
Jacq | May 10, 2006 at 2:50 pm
The SF guy forgot to throw in something about herpes and festering sores.
BarbadoSlim | May 10, 2006 at 2:51 pm
Good’ol ahslee simpson, she who likes to get wasted and go yell profanities at fast food restaurant employees, she just screams quality human being.
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 2:51 pm
I guess we can just be thankful that her buttcrack is not featured in any of these pictures.
Land-Man | May 10, 2006 at 2:51 pm
I would say she was daydreaming about the Land-Cock, but that look is more one of fear.
Fisher55 | May 10, 2006 at 2:52 pm
at least she’s not dipped in fucking *orange*
HairPie | May 10, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Ashlee Simpson makes highway pit stop where she dropped a deuce that oddly smelled like Fez’s 8 inches of self-imagined manhood…
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 2:53 pm
#6 I’m pretty this skank can take any cock that comes at her
Gerald Tarrant | May 10, 2006 at 2:53 pm
OMG Lou is sooooooo cool. First again. And still not a single bit of intelligence. Oh right, it’s my small dick, that’s why I don’t find humor in *zing*.
As for Ashlee, thank god for this thread, I was starting to worry after that last Ashlee one. She was looking good, but now, proof positive, she’s still fugly.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 10, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Wow, I actually thought that was Nicole Ritchie.
Proteon | May 10, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Holy shit I thought that was Paris Hilton. A closer inspection reveals that Ashley is still a huge fat pig in comparison. When she gets down around the 50lb mark she’ll be where she wants to.
VanillaSalTyBaLLs | May 10, 2006 at 2:54 pm
all the peeshes, peeshes, peeshes ov mee
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 10, 2006 at 2:55 pm
What’s with her hands clasped demurely beneath her chin? And the goggles?
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Gerald why do you have to be such a hater? Didn’t your momma show you any love?
Italian Stallion | May 10, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Those must be some fucking heavy ass sunglasses if she has to hold her head up like that, either that or she’s telling daddy she wants to play chokey, chokey, again…………..
momma | May 10, 2006 at 2:58 pm
She looks more pregnant than Britney in that last picture.
Gerald Tarrant | May 10, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Lou, no but your momma did *zing*
See the proper usage?
The only thing I hate is seeing a thread fill up with 10 people all saying “First” or whatnot and never saying anything funny/mean.
Like I said on a Denise thread, the Superficial tagling should be “If you don’t have anything mean to say, shut up and go away.”
sweetcheeks | May 10, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Here in the l’il ol’ south we have a term for truckstop hookers: “lot lizards.”
HairPie | May 10, 2006 at 3:01 pm
At second glance, she really does have that, “I just made a stinky” look on her face…
Fisher55 | May 10, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Gerald “Tyrant”
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Gerald, I believe that you have “first” envy. I realize that you have given up on having a bigger cock or ever satisfying a woman but don’t loose hope on being first.
tamtamtam | May 10, 2006 at 3:05 pm
pro: hair and skin NOT dyed to match
con: she looks preggers in that dress
pro: you can never wear too many bracelets at once
con: those bug eye sunglasses have got to go
pro: her new nose looks good
con: a nose job is not a smart move for a singer…
pro: …but she’s a terrible singer, so what’s she risking really?
con: no matter how much surgery she has, she’s still ashlee simpson, and that’s gotta suck.
Fisher55 | May 10, 2006 at 3:07 pm
anyone see pepper dennis last night? olsen twins shit was kinda funny…
B4USUCKMEDRY | May 10, 2006 at 3:09 pm
In the third picture of the bottom three it looks like a profile of Jessica because of the way she’s holding her mouth.
That’s the first time I’ve ever seen any sort of resemblance.
Gerald Tarrant | May 10, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Lou, if you’ve been here longer than a week you’d know that I often get the first posting. And on those first posts, I even have comments.
As far as pleasing a woman, I’m reminded of a joke.
What does a woman’s face look like when she has an orgasm?
Who the fuck cares.
sweetcheeks | May 10, 2006 at 3:13 pm
So Rastafarian friendship bracelets are de riguer for second-rate pop stars?
Does that means she’s “down with the herb”? I’m sure she LOTS of fun high. ‘Cause she’s super cool drunk. Just ask some McDonald’s employees.
BigJim | May 10, 2006 at 3:13 pm
sherry-co loves the carpet.
suzy | May 10, 2006 at 3:16 pm
her nose isn’t fixed in those pics
suzy | May 10, 2006 at 3:17 pm
oh and by the way.. the US weekly mag that comes out today reports that Ashlee actually brought in a pic of paris hilton the nose doc because she wanted her nose
tits_on_snack | May 10, 2006 at 3:19 pm
I hate flip-flops. I don’t care how trendy they are. They’re the footwear equivalent of sweatpants.
Lou | May 10, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Gerald, So do you view yourself as somekind of SF bully? Oh, no Gerald please don’t take my milk money I’ll get rickets. Boo hoo. I could give a fuck less how long you’ve posted but if it makes you feel special go right ahead thinking the way you do.
gogoboots | May 10, 2006 at 3:21 pm
She’s probably just stoned or whatever…
BarbadoSlim | May 10, 2006 at 3:21 pm
She needs to either, have talent implants or have surgery to remove all the ashlee simpson.
PapaHotNuts | May 10, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Last time I saw a face that ugly it had a Simpson attached to it.
Jacq | May 10, 2006 at 3:23 pm
#4 – I bet you five million dollars your manager will like me, but fuck you ’cause you won’t kiss my foot. We have a situation up here! Things are getting out of hand!
Papa pisses, pisses, pisses on meeee!
Nikk The Templar | May 10, 2006 at 3:23 pm
#31. Amen, friend.
I like Ashlee. I find her amusing. Almost as amusing as the fact that TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK.
Gerald Tarrant | May 10, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Where the fuck are you coming up with ‘bully’? You’re starting to sound like Sherry-co.
And where the fuck do you get off talking about “I could give a fuck less how long you’ve posted but if it makes you feel special go right ahead thinking the way you do.”
You’ve already admitted that in your pathetic, fed through cage bars life that getting the first post is all you have to look forward to.
I guess I can see where you misconstrue my plea for you to post something intelligent if you get the first spot, but I can also see how that is expecting too much. I also suspect that your reaction to sunlight might be the same way since you probably haven’t been out of your mom’s since you were 5, that’s right just a few years ago.
PocketRocket | May 10, 2006 at 3:25 pm
She has the ‘Paris’ look going for her, all right. Now, all she needs to complete the transformation is to appear in a video, bathed in night-vision optics, using baby-talk and attempting to swallow an enormous cock.
Jacq | May 10, 2006 at 3:25 pm
#26 – My face is normally red when I climax because I like to be choked.
Amendment to #36 – Before that goes ANYWHERE – I meant Papa Joe and the song. Not you HotNuts.
DaveBenner | May 10, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Gerald, you’re not in charge. Shut the fuck up. If anyone wants to hear your opinion on anything other than the article in question, we’ll ask.
Cuore56 | May 10, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I’m sorry, is she wearing a pink crushed velvet shirt under a black maternity dress? She’s starting to look very Mary Kate Olsen, aside from the mini-belly bump.
Anniebear | May 10, 2006 at 3:29 pm
I think she’s cute
Gerald Tarrant | May 10, 2006 at 3:31 pm
@41 – Yes, sir, I guess you’re in charge. What ever you say fuckwad.
zooza | May 10, 2006 at 3:32 pm
wow, this is news?? i just took a dump…
Conductor71 | May 10, 2006 at 3:32 pm
If anyone would like to meet Sherry-co you can contact her here:
http://www.dating4disabled.com/users/profile.asp?userid=5814
pinky_nip | May 10, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I just read in the paper today that Ashpee will be performing at our local zoo this summer. You can’t make this shit up people (or should I say ppl).
SCLTC
sweetcheeks | May 10, 2006 at 3:34 pm
#31 — I concur. I think heels are the ONLY way to go. Fuck “ballet flats,” too.
If you’re a woman, and you’re not currently wearing heels, you are probably:
a) fat
b) a lesbian
c) both fat AND a lesbian, or
d) incredibly comfortable.
I wear high heels while bicycling, at the pool, while giving birth, and when I’m on the treadmill. Sure, it makes the run a more difficult, but my calves never looked better. And you should see the looks I get.
86 | May 10, 2006 at 3:36 pm
1. Long scraggly blonde hair with black roots? Check
2. Orange tinted skin? Check
3. Big sunglasses? Check
4. Complete lack of talent? Check
5. Slept with Paris Hilton? Check
Wait…
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 10, 2006 at 3:38 pm
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!
Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!
When I’m stuck a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!