Ashlee Simpson Looking for Slobs

ashlee_simpson_thumb1.jpgIf there’s one thing I learned while winning my eighth-straight Marine Corps arm-wrestling championship, it’s that guys get depressed when they think they have no chance (on an unrelated note, I also learned it wasn’t a good idea to get the commander’s daughter to play a little game I call ‘tickle the monkey’). Anyway, the point is that guys need hope. And today, my friends, Ashlee Simpson provides it with the following quote.

If you fall in love with somebody, you fall in love with somebody, but I would really like to not like a celebrity. I think it would definitely be easier. I’m not looking for an actor, I’m not looking for a musician!”

A word of advice for Ashlee. It might be easier to find a blue-collar Bob if you’re not asking him to kiss your feet. If there was any justice in this world she’d fall in love with a fat, cheeto-fingered high-school drop out working third shift at the pickle-factory in southern Alabama. They’d have seventeen kids, run out of money, and then Ashlee would be sold off to some sexually deviant Saudi Prince who’d make her do the truffle-shuffle for food. One can only hope.

Ashlee Simpson Looking for an Average Joe [NY Daily News]