Ashlee Simpson is scared of artists

November 28th, 2005 // 18 Comments

asimpson_scared.jpgAshlee Simpson was reportedly scared out of Loft Shoe Productions last Wednesday when Lower East Side artist Peter Missing walked in and started staring at her.

According to witnesses, Missing nastily stared Simpson down until she fled next door, leaving her mother, Tina, to sort out her $600 tab. “We’ve had to kick him out before,” said owner Anne Hanavan. “He’s not appealing, and he tries to sell his paintings to our celebrity clients.”

I’m not even sure this constitutes a story, but I enjoy the idea of Ashlee Simpson seeing a grizzled toothless man and instinctively running away. I also enjoy the idea of Ashlee Simpson getting shot in the face with a bazooka. That’s just the way I roll.



  1. PinkRose

    Too funny. BTW..who is Peter Missing?

  2. ibizagirl

    We are too old to like Ashlee Simpson but most tweens and teens absolutely love her. That is her market right? So relax…. The weird thing would be if we liked her music!

  3. I actually kinda like the idea of a performance art piece that consists of staring at Ashlee Simpson and watching her react.

    Ashlee, apparently, likes running out the bill and watching to see how her mom will react.

  4. plumcrazy

    Can this girl get any uglier???

  5. hafaball

    does she really think she’s at such a high celebrity status that someone would kill her? I mean Jennifer aniston is huge and all her stalker did was steal her panties. Well, okay scratch that, I guess someone would kill her just cause she’s ashlee simpson, my fault.

  6. hotwax

    dumb ugly worthless twat

  7. deluxxe

    i’d still hit it.

  8. John

    I’m with you, deluxxe. Though that particular picture of her is unflattering, I’d still tap that. Of course she has no talent, but I don’t do auditions before I bed a wench. I bet Superficial would hit it too, though he’d be loath to admit it. As long as she would keep her mouth shut (except at appropriate times), she’s defintely do-able.

  9. Look at how wide she can open her mouth……she may actually have a talent.

  10. pixel killya

    “I also enjoy the idea of Ashlee Simpson getting shot in the face with a bazooka. That’s just the way I roll.”

    roll on….

  11. Eclipse

    Doesn’t she look like a parrot with that huge nose? *Squawk!!*

  12. PKClover

    She may need a nose job but look what a hooked beak has done for Paris hilton’s career?

  13. HollyJ

    Plumcrazy: No. It is scientifically not feasible that she could be ANY uglier than she already is.

    If you took the gigantic bulbous-yet-pointy tip of Paris’s nose and the enormous dorsal hump on Ashlee’s nose, you’d have enough tissue to build a whole new person from scratch.

    I secretly suspect that in these two cases, the gene to build the boobs accidentally implanted, instead, on the nose.

  14. assholic

    aw now come on, you guys are totally judging her from the classic snl moment, aight? the thing with ashlee is that she at least has more decent songs than jessica that just keep murdering real good ones.

    jessica just builds her career round d fact that she’s acceptably cute and her bimbo persona certainly is endearin to watch so that you’d feel good about yourself for slighty knowledgable than her in terms of differentiatin chicken of the sea and chicken of the land.

    ashlee may not be as cute and her show is far less entertainin than jessica’s juz coz she aint promotin herself as a dumbass but i definitely enjoy her albums. give the girl a bloody break already. she sounds decent enuf live, no, really, except for the classic blunder on snl, course.

  15. derekderekderek

    15: What in the fucking hell did you just say?

  16. assholic

    i said i much prefer ashlee, despite her nasal child-like squeals than stupid ol’ jessie. you have any prob with tht, mate?

  17. Unrealious

    Funny, I thought it was her face while she was acting that was cute.

    Perhaps moonlighting as a sex robot has thrown off your rhythm.

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