Ashlee Simpson is definitely pregnant

April 14th, 2008 // 67 Comments

Ashlee Simpson is having Pete Wentz’s baby. Us Magazine ended the speculation today that started when the couple announced their engagement last Wednesday:

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28.

First off, congratulations, to the happy couple. Way to prove everybody wrong and figure out the mechanics of sexual intercourse. Frankly, I’m stunned. That said, my condolences to Ashlee. Nothing short of the Jaws of Life will get that kid’s chin out of your birth canal. But it’s worth it for that priceless bundle of joy. I mean, really, who needs a vagina anyway? What with today’s economy and all.

Photo: Getty Images

  1. Miserable Bastard

    The name “Fall Out Boy” really doesn’t add any credibility to his fatherhood claim.

  2. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    51. Miserable Bastard – April 14, 2008 5:35 PM
    The name “Fall Out Boy” really doesn’t add any credibility to his fatherhood claim.


  3. Mr. Wong Ming Ming

    That dude looks like a prepubescent faggot.

  4. Malffy Hernandes

    Doesn’t anyone in Hollywood believe in birth control.

  5. PettyPape

    #23- Hilareeous!

  6. Come on…everyone knows that celebrities don’t give birth through their vaginas anymore (that is SO low rent). It’s all about the c-section + tummy tuck.

  7. Pete Wentz

    Sorry I got her pregnant. I thought I was boning her in the ass. You have to admit, it’s easy to confuse her face with her taint, her twat with her pooper. I mean, look at her. But man, the things she can do with her chin. Oh baby…ah crap. Baby. Crap crap crap.

  8. Anal Fistula

    I forget whom I’m stealing this from but it needs to be re-posted:

    “Apparently they’re standing in front of some IQ meter in that picture…”

  9. justifiable

    Now he’s denying the pregnancy, it’s all news to him. So now he’s back to being a closet case with a chin…I mean a beard.

    #51 wins for best thread comment!

  10. King Wang

    I thought Emo dudes were all gay.

    Why is a gay Emo dude marrying a wore out, but young Simpson?

    Wait, never mind, her last name is Simpson, which is synonymous with, “Who the fuck?”.

    So much for Nickelodean or what the hell ever. Way to go, next time, I got a full time whore I will lease out to your TV network, she won’t get pregnant, because that will actually get in the way of her “job” skills……….

    I GOT IT! Her REAL mother is Cameron “Jay Leno” Diaz!

    See! You fuckers, I knew something fishy was going on, and not just between her and Emo-boys legs.

    Wait, can you actually rub two Carp or Tuna together and get anywhere?

    Thankfully, only they will ever know……….BIATCH!

  11. Anny

    The boy is a nudist. He changed a photo with my best friend who is a member at My friends is a pretty girl with sexy ass, sexy legs. Poor girl!

  12. wow! she is not preggy? anyway good for them

  13. isitin

    These two really look like brother & sister.

  14. yeah that`s all good.
    but i would find it cooler if stars had like a live backstage channel like this one:

    check it out, it`s da bomb !!!

  15. Jason G

    he looks like a mini-anthony kedis (rhcp)

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  17. C-Dawg

    Did anyone else notice how they look like they have the same face, just different hair?

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