Ashlee Simpson is a liar

May 11th, 2006 // 117 Comments

Ashlee Simpson is laughing off rumors of her nose job despite obvious photos suggesting otherwise. When asked about the speculation surrounding her nose yesterday, she replied:

“Everybody’s already saying it, so I just don’t talk about it. I’m like, OK, whatever. It doesn’t bother me.” But when asked whether the rumor was true, the 21-year-old singer didn’t confirm or deny it, but just giggled more. “Maybe – who knows!”

Somebody should explain to Ashlee about the magic of photography. We already know she’s had a nose job because we can see it. Lying about it isn’t going to convince anybody of anything, except that maybe she’s a fucking liar. And was born with a tail. Because Ashlee Simpson was born with a tail. And if she says otherwise she’s lying. That’s what she does.



  1. Vampyreska

    #46 you are a moron.

  2. DaveBenner

    Nice one Papa, may I join in? I’ll start with . . . her old nose was so big, when it rained her shoes stayed dry.

  3. hurley

    Land-Man, that was dumb. The kind of jokes teenagers make.

  4. hurley

    Did middle schools cancel classes today?

  5. lesleyannf

    Anyone else notice that in the second photo her shaddow has no nose?

    Cue press releases from her shaddow neither denying nor admitting that it has had a nose-ectomy.

  6. Dr.Rokter

    Is it true that Ashlee Simpson got lost in Appalachia looking for, “authentic hand-carved birdhouses and healing simples”, and got forcibly sodomized by the neck of some 90-year-old hilljack’s “corn likker” bottle? I swear that was in People not too long ago. I think the article said that her nose got broken because he beat her face into a split-rail fence while his 400 lb. “Eatin’ hog” did something like, “chewed her faggot-lovin’ cunny and swilled the leavings”. But People sucks.

  7. Fisher55

    LandMan’s the shizzle y’all…

  8. 86

    It’s all in fun guys. I don’t get mad when people make fun of Louisiana trailer trash.

  9. hurley

    Believe me, I have no problem making fun of vapid tarts with no talent. Saying “she gave her nose to a jew” is so easy

  10. Land-Man

    Wow, is this kike day on SF? I will throw you from the Temple just like our Lord did. Except, unlike Jesus, I will throw you out with my Land-Cock.

  11. hurley

    see, that’s much better. historical reference + metaphor + sophomoric (but land-man-esque) humor.


  12. Jacq

    #49 – That’s why he made the move “Far and Away.”

    #55 – I can’t tell on some of these pics, but then there are 1,000 photogs on those access hollywood shows and it’s a flashbulb frenzy. Do you think sometimes that’s why the shadows look all jacked? That is just my theory, I do think her nose actually looks like that. Or maybe she’s a witch, do they have shadows? I know it’s vampires who can’t see themselves in the mirror.

  13. pinky_nip

    So Hurly.. why don’t you bless us with your sophisticated brand of humor instead of picking fights with everyone else.

    Well… we’re WAITING…

  14. hurley

    wait for it, pinky.
    i posted all over the place yesterday.
    where’s sherry-co?

  15. Blueballsmcgee

    Her new nose is cute..cute enough to shade a dirty sanchez

  16. pinky_nip

    No thank you.

  17. If she just got a chin-job she would be verrry hot… But plastic.

  18. pinky_nip

    Hurley, Can’t believe I actually took time out to read some of your posts from yesterday.

    Yes, you are correct that you posted all over the place. Yet, I saw not one witty comment or anything that was even remotely funny. Yet, you find it imperative that you pick on one of the funniest posters on this site, Land-Man.

    Yes, you throwing out philosophical questions about children and marriage qualify you for opening nite at the Laugh Factory.

  19. BarbadoSlim

    I finally occured to me that we haven’t been able to focus on Ashlee’s talent due to her nose. Now we can finally get to see it.

    All we need, is an electron microscope…

  20. Tracy

    Her nose job looks great. With a little more work, she’ll be alright, instead of looking like Alice the Goon from the Popeye cartoons.

  21. Jacq

    Me thinks that we’re not obsessed with lamebananas. I think that someone’s obsessed with all of us. I just said it cause I haven’t seen that hermaphrodite on this thread and I didn’t want a “Stupid Girls” radio edit reply.

  22. apricotmuffins

    I think she looked better before. it was more distinctive, now shes looking very generic. boring.

  23. Tag, you’re it today Land-Man.

  24. Why am I not surprised?

    And yes, with her new nose, she’s just not Ashlee anymore. From the side her nose doesn’t even fit her face at all. But no amound of plastic surgery would ever make me like her.

  25. hurley

    oh sure, the two times i was serious..
    why do you care so much, anyway?

  26. BarbadoSlim

    The only surgery that would make me like her, would be a radical procedure perfected in Cuba (of all places)is called an Ashleerectomy. This procedure involves the complete und total removal of all of Ashlee Simpson from this plane of existence.

  27. playahater101

    I hate celebs who have obvious work done, then deny it. Especially when you look like a different person afterwards. Her and Meg Ryan should start a club.

  28. playahater101

    She needs a full face and personality transplant. It’s so obvious. Even the end of her nose is different. She just had the bump shaved off, yeah RIGHT!!! That’s a whole new nose.

  29. Mr. Fritz

    I don’t blame her for fixing her nose, but please do something about that chin! She is still an untalented hick.

  30. 86

    I wish my sister was famous.

  31. colormeskanky

    #2 ahahaha– yes, and it’s also her drummer’s fault for whacking her with a drumstick, and…oh there she goes, doing another hoedown…

  32. ATX

    From the looks of the picture, it looks like someone did a pretty damn good job on that nose. Havn’t we all seen bad nose jobs? I give it a thumbs up.

  33. RichPort

    Britney Spears called…. she wants her nose back.

  34. 86

    …and the hat she lost 2 years ago.

  35. playahater101

    #83, I agree. It is a good job. She should own up to it instead of pretending like it didn’t happen. It’s an obvious change. Denying it just makes her look stupid. Like denying the lip synching and then getting caught. Didn’t she learn this lesson already?

  36. 86

    Oh bay-by bay-by!! She’s not..that..innocent.

  37. M@ce

    Ashlee had a legitimate medical reason for having her rhinoplasty. It seems my ‘short curlies’ kept getting clogged in her nostrils which led to recurring infections. The surgery simply gave her better clearance for when she’s gulpin’ down the ‘Lil General’.

  38. eatmyass_sherry-co

    #88- Did you just blatently tell us your General was little? Guess that makes you unattractive to Tom Cruise.

    #44- very much.


  39. M@ce

    “LIL”= Large, Impressively Land-Manesque

  40. #78, Yeesh! Meg went from Cutesy to looking like that fat mom who always brings the potatoe salad casserole with the crushed fritos on top to the pot luck.

  41. DancingQueen

    This just in. Ashlee Simpleton’s old nose is up for sale on Ebay…

  42. HollyJ

    Her new nose looks SOOOOOO good, though. I have to admit it. Kudos to the knife-man (or woman)

  43. Tha-Flash

    If she keeps lying it will grow back like pinochio!


  44. Iambananas

    Stop lying… she was annoying before and she’s annoying after. She’s not bananas. She’s a talent-less hack.

  45. Iambananas

    Bad nose jab, too. The side is too squared off.

  46. gogoboots

    There’s an obvious difference between her nose in both pictures. does she think everyone is that stupid not to see it? Wait, she’s that stupid…actually…

  47. tsarinaamanda

    It sure looks a hell of a lot better than it did before. You could probably have fit an ear of corn up one of her old, unimproved nostrils. Or a cock. Or a fist. Damn, that would have been a fun game to play with her. And what’s with her spelling her name “Ashlee”? Is “Ashleigh” or “Ashley” too good for you, you pretentious whore? Like, you’re SOOO unique and different! God damn her to hell. She makes me want to kick-kick…her in the fucking face!

  48. Tha-Flash


    Wow, i’m on fire tonight!

  49. It are only two blondes (idiots) in the family or there are still others as a nurse of them?

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