Ashlee Simpson hospitalized

tn_ashlee_concert_cr.jpgLike herpes, Ashlee Simpson was gone for a few weeks only to resurface and make me break down and weep to the heavens, asking why God has forsaken us with such an affront to humanity. Writhing around like a panda in heat onstage has taken its toll, causing the lesser of two Simpsons to check into a hospital in Japan.

…she told the audience she felt sick and said to them, “I love you guys,” Us Weekly reported Friday. She then collapsed in an elevator and was rushed by ambulance to a hospital.

Sending Ashlee to Japan must be some kind of deferred punishment for Pearl Harbor because if it’s a choice between a public caning or suffering through one of her lip-synched concerts, my hands are on my ankles. My only explanation for this latest stunt is she’s trying to avoid being booed out of the stadium from another bowl game. ‘Tis the season, after all.