Ashlee Simpson has to make Jessica hate life

August 21st, 2009 // 105 Comments

Ashlee Simpson showed up to the InStyle Summer Soiree last night looking uncharacteristically good. You know what would be awesome? Ashlee’s body with Jessica’s breasts. I know Joe Simpson’s thought about it. That’s why his Christmas list consists of only three items this year: A hacksaw, duct tape and one of those pens where the chick takes her top off when you hold it upside down. The man’s obsessed.

Photos: Getty, WireImage
superficial

  1. auzzie

    Duke Nukem – August 22, 2009 11:23 AM

    ATTENTION FATTIES AND CHUBBY-CHASERS!

    {Ashlee = in shape. Fit.

    To those of you used to looking at an ‘average’ fat american woman it may seem that she is too thin, but guess what, this is what normal looked like 40+ years ago before ‘average’ was 30 lbs overweight. Before computers and cable tv made going outside to do something ‘exercise.’

    So take a good look and see what women looked like before blubber was the norm.”

    You are a fucking idiot that has no clue. Chicks ‘used’ to look more like Jessica than this flat ass coked out wanna be/

  2. mel

    Ashlee’s not too thin. Jessica is too fat. All the Simpson’s are pukes, but Ashlee has always been the prettier of the two pukey sisters, even with her old nose.

  3. Lily

    Her figure is nice. I can appreciate them all…the slender ones like Ashlee here or the lush curves of Selma Hayak (sp?). What is a turn off though is the clammy, pale, greasy skin and lank, limp hair. Take a bath already….

    Put Ashlee’s outfit on the blonde and you got a deal….

  4. Lily

    Her figure is nice. I can appreciate them all…the slender ones like Ashlee here or the lush curves of Selma Hayak (sp?). What is a turn off though is the clammy, pale, greasy skin and lank, limp hair. Take a bath already….

    Put Ashlee’s outfit on the blonde and you got a deal….

  5. CA

    Oh dear god, where i always thought Jessica to be the most perfect, hottest and most beautiful woman alive, Ashlee for sure is gaining in on her Blonde sister. Perhaps surpassed her already, but Blonde hair suits this hottie better.
    Those legs are killing, dear god….i mean, wrap those around me, squeeze the life out of me and i die the happiest man ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! And about her flat ass, that is what I happen to love, so that is fine, no……more than fine by me, heaven. Jessica too had a flat ass before she gained so much weight!
    Just imagine Jessica’s tits on Ashlee’s amazing body, and you’ll have absolute perfection!!!!!! faperthefap!!!!!!!!

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