Ashlee Simpson has to make Jessica hate life

Ashlee Simpson showed up to the InStyle Summer Soiree last night looking uncharacteristically good. You know what would be awesome? Ashlee’s body with Jessica’s breasts. I know Joe Simpson’s thought about it. That’s why his Christmas list consists of only three items this year: A hacksaw, duct tape and one of those pens where the chick takes her top off when you hold it upside down. The man’s obsessed.

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