Ashlee Simpson drunk on MySpace

March 9th, 2006 // 49 Comments

I can’t verify that she’s drunk or that this is even Ashlee Simpson, but if a complete stranger named Armando can’t be trusted, then what hope do the rest of us have in this crazy mixed up world of ours?


  1. maggixial

    nice generic tattoos they got there. class act. I know Pete Wentz is jealous.

  2. xavierout

    Is there some deep significance to the star on the inside of the wrist tattoo? I’m dating this model from Brazil named Gisele and she has one, too. When I ask her about it she gets a far away look in her eyes and gently weeps, unable to talk. I’m not down with AshSimp having something in common with my girl from Ipanema, you know? Unless it means that she’s a Scientologist. In which case it’s cool because Scientologists aren’t creepy and weird or anything. In fact their kinda awesome. Awesome in a give us your life savings and we’ll promise not to kill you sort of way.

  3. Captain Awesome

    I dont know whats worse. She made it on myspace or shes proud of sharing a wall tattoo with one flamin’ hispanic guy who has a mouth as big as Jolies 10 dick storage facility.

  4. not-one-of-you

    another orginal expression of art and talent, a generic star tattoo. ooo so coool…..I am reminded of a high school acquaintance who got the lead in kiss me kate or whatev, and her atm code is STAR ….in your own mind, anything goes!!!!!

  5. downshine

    ohhh…whose myspace? does anyone have the link?

  6. I though they were stamps in order to get into a club.

  7. turdhead

    Those are totally just wrist stamps so they can get back into the club without paying cover again. Do you guys ever leave the house?

  8. Captain Awesome

    I live in your closet, sniffing your draws.

  9. xavierout

    They’re not at a fucking club. Does that look like any club you’ve ever been to? There’s a guy in the background doing the Times crossword puzzle for hell’s sake. It looks like a coffe shop or something. Those are tattoos and it means they’re 33rd level Masons.

  10. miadm2002

    So what?!

  11. Captain Awesome

    lmao @ #9 xavierout’s reply.

  12. xavierout

    Yeah, I don’t know what I was smoking. That’s not a coffee shop. It’s a guy standing by a Suburban, who may or may not be doing the Times crossword puzzle. But it still don’t look like a club. Could be though. Although the Latino kid looks about 13 years old, so it would be a shitty all ages club. Not the cool ones that turdhead and I go to. At those clubs we snort blow off the nipples of supermodels and various hangers-on and well-wishers.

  13. There’s nothing wrong with doing the crossword at a club. Anyways, I’m pretty sure that a poorly drawn star indicates that you’re rolling. Much like lollipops… and colored lights…

  14. B-Bomb

    i hope her next move was to smack herself in her giant schnoz with that tattooed appendage.

  15. Wait, why is she famous?

  16. Astriastar

    Is it me, or is MySpace all over the place now? Every day we’re reading about some celebrity/pseudo-celebrity/celeb’s kid and their MySpace page?

  17. prideofchucky

    ASHLEE SIMPSON: No talent and apparently no “gaydar”..

  18. Tania

    “I can’t verify that she’s drunk or that this is even Ashlee Simpson…”

    Hello?! The chin don’t lie…it’s her!

  19. prideofchucky

    “xavierout: They’re not at a fucking club. Does that look like any club you’ve ever been to?”

    No, definitely not a club. By the looks of “ARMANDO” I gonna go with TURKISH BATHHOUSE..

  20. prideofchucky

    Whats up with hot chicks wanting obviously gay boys?

    Like a moth to a flame-(r)

  21. poopstick

    The poop needs to vent here…Poop is soooo sick of this girl….she deserves to be brutally, anally gang-raped by a crew of thug rappers.

    The poop has vented.

  22. HollyJ

    It’s obvious that she’s the faghag in this scenerio. Good for her! That’s FAR more fun and respectable than just being “ugly untalented loser.”

  23. Craig & "em"

    I think it’s really cool that Ashlee Simpson and Wilmer Valderrama are hookin up! Now that he’s had HOT LATIN SEX with her, he only has one more young starlet that he needs to hook up with to conclude his plans of world domination. Unfortunately he’ll have to show a little patience. I won’t mention any names, but I hear that she’s just getting over a little case of HERPES!

  24. cj14mommy


    it’s a tattoo.
    feel stupid yet.

  25. Pez_D_Spencer

    20 – they can share close and don’t have to screw them?

  26. Pez_D_Spencer

    er, make that “clothes”. Gah.

  27. Captain Awesome

    turd = owned

  28. gogoboots

    There seems to be an awful lot of drunk Ashlee pictures going around, just as many coked out Lindsay Lohan pictures. I wonder who’s sending them in. Ashlee does not only look drunk, she looks absolutely stoned. Maybe it’s the eyeshadow, she looks like a trashed raccoon.

  29. QuiQuiLove

    You know what I fuckin’ hate about this moron, her “photo” pose face. My gawd! she does something weird to her chin and smile, and she opens her eyes all wide and get’s this “i know i’m not as delectable as my big sister but you’d give it to me? right?” watch anything on E! and you’ll see it.

  30. This is one ugly bitch she is butt ugly, with her lip singing ass. She looks just like her dad. Wasn’t he a preacher turned

  31. KJ

    no dudes, the guy was such an ashley fan that he got the tattoo, then one day he was like “oh my god it’s like ashley simpson! take a picture with me ashley, we can show our tattoos!” and she was like “wrong wrist douchebag” and then she blinked.

    that or it was photoshopped

  32. Evangelia

    lol #19

  33. fookmihada

    alright ashley simpson. first off, u wanna use a knife on ur wrist, not a needle. secondly who knew mexican guys at age 13 had enough time away from their landscaping jobs to even get tatoos. and at that afford them? shouldnt he have at least 2 kids and the entire family down to his second cousins living in his van with him?
    i think he might just be pretending to be mexican and gay to be cool. cool like ashley. i know that shes cool because the tv tells me so. so whats the deal with fags? are we supposed to be like ok with that now or something?? damn man, i need to go back to the 80s when magic johnson got HIV and the first thought on everyones mind was, i didnt know he was gay.

  34. HughJorganthethird

    Hey Armando, I’m going to need to see a green card.

    And thats not a tatoo, it’s a joke, much like Ashley herself.

  35. Swordman

    wow Ashlee simpson has a tattoo. Big news

  36. NaughtyBits74

    I don’t like her. I never have. She comes off as a punk, rocker chic and she’s soooo far from it. She’s from the freaking suburbs and is as fake as her sister’s lip injections. I liked the comment someone made about her dad going from “preacher to pimp”. That’s funny and so true.

  37. What The Hell the Joker is doing beside that blond bitch?

    A beatiful couple…

  38. ESQ

    If some roofies got involved he was guaranteed to get laid.

  39. lysistrata11

    Don’t jump all over me for saying this but I think she looks hot in that picture…I don’t know if it’s the hair or makeup or what but I’d make out with her…and that says a lot since I’m a straight female.
    P.S. She looks like crap with brown hair though.

  40. lysistrata11

    Well you know, except for the weird blinking look on her face.

  41. Jayne

    I have that tattoo.
    I got it about 7 years ago.
    Now I feel like a poser.

  42. Damn, that girl is man-repellent

  43. tits_on_snack

    that’s an expensive looking tattoo. a real piece of art.

  44. M@ce

    I believe the star tattoo means, “Brain Dead. Selected for early extermination.”

  45. staticbumblebee

    Ashlee Simpson is really ugly.. look at that fucking honker, and the Everest chin.. it looks like the Wicked Eitch of the West met the Queer Eye guys.. absolutely revolting.

  46. staticbumblebee

    Ashlee Simpson is really ugly.. look at that fucking honker, and the Everest chin.. it looks like the Wicked Witch of the West met the Queer Eye guys.. absolutely revolting.

  47. SumLikeitHoTT

    um maybe i duno…shes blinking…and its probably sum random fan who bumped into her and took a picture with her becuz wow hey we got the sam tatt…asswipes

  48. soapbox

    Uuuuh, this looks like a club stamp on the wrist to me…

  49. sykotiq

    Um… xavierout: you don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about.

    If you brighten the picture, you’ll see some older guy in the background standing by an SUV!

    A guy doing a crossword puzzle! Hahaha…

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