Ashlee Simpson is Drunk Dialing Pete Wentz Now

August 26th, 2011 // 46 Comments

“Thank you! And you’re baby is so cute, too. Have you used him to make a little emo bitch cry yet? Ohmygod, it’s adorable.”

Because I enjoy a good Ashlee Simpson makes Pete Wentz cry tale as much as the next male knitting guild champ, here’s a little yarn about Ashlee taking after her sister and becoming a walking drunk bag of regrettable decisions. Us Weekly reports:

A source tells the new Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson’s kid sister recently placed an inebriated call to Wentz, with whom she has a 2-year-old son, Bronx. “Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back,” says the source; a rep for Simpson denies the call ever took place.

PETE: *walks up to Ashlee’s doorstep, Bronx in one arm, suitcase in the other* Alright, buddy, this is it. Your mommy called me at three a.m. this morning and said we’re going to be a family again. Finally, after all these months! *opens door*
ASHLEE: OHMYGOD, FUCK ME, GUY I JUST MET LAST NIGHT! FUCK ME LIKE A MAN!
PETE: *closes door, slowly walks away*

Photo: Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. JC

    C’mon Pete, don’t be fooled. Here’s that hussy giving a come-hither look to two guys on opposite sides of the room.

  2. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    If only this was from a bullet’s perspective.

  3. Jack Ketch

    Meh, hardly news, probably bullshit … what I can’t believe is that this broad actually had plastic surgery to get a chin … like … that. Fucking hideous.

  4. Fish got it wrong. She was pining for Daddy Joe to give her a good spanking like the old days.

  5. Compound9

    She’s a Cunt, He’s a worthless Piece of shit and they both need to grow the fuck up…

    My children deserve better from humanity.

  6. well well well

    good for her, god forbid a women show some raw emotion

  7. Jillia

    Did I miss something about the crying here because I enjoy a good Ashlee Simpson makes Pete Wentz cry tale as much as the next. So where is that tale??

  8. Richard McBeef

    I’d hit it so hard from the back that it would cut her pillow in half.

  9. Deacon Jones

    Let’s see….

    Sinead O’Connor, That 70′s Show girl, and this lezbo wannabe….

    You’re not exactly getting me ready to kick off a happy hour, FISH.

    My dick just looked at me and shrugged its shoulders and said “What the fuck is this guy doing, it’s Friday.”

  10. Ashlee Simpson
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she’s as stupid and crazy as she seems.

  11. bitingontinfoil

    Irrelevant news about an irrelevant hasbeen.

  12. lululata

    “And you’re baby is so cute, too.”

    You remind me Tila Tequila. You can do better than this man. much better than this…

  13. RoboZombie

    Ha! Bet she can dial with that CHIN!

  14. mel

    nice chin mac tonight.

  15. Ashlee Simpson
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Reese Witherspoon + Ellen Degeneres = Ashlee Simpson

  16. Ashlee Simpson
    Alyssa
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazingly enough i thought this was Nicki adn Paris, due to Ashley’s wonk eyes.

    OMG.

  17. Ashlee Simpson
    Alyssa
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris?

  18. Yikers

    Whoever did her nose should be shot. She is starting to look like Mr. Burns.

  19. dontkillthemessenger

    Time for another edition of………. Was she ever hot in the first place or is my memory shot!?!?

    Just looking at these pics, I find it hard to believe this woman was ever attractive. I’d do fat Jessica happily before touching this thing.

  20. Ashlee Simpson
    better than ezra
    Commented on this photo:

    Her prosthetic chin is showing.

  21. Ashlee Simpson
    better than ezra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Coke, anyone?”

  22. Ashlee Simpson
    Quinn
    Commented on this photo:

    a purse or a waffle maker? you be the judge! lol

  23. oh, you know its true

    Does Ashlee use a ‘guide track’ when she drunk-dials ?

  24. forrest gump

    she simply can’t deal this little *SS-KISSER sober, folks!!

  25. Ashlee Simpson
    Butch Coolidge
    Commented on this photo:

    Call the police ! someone stole her tits!

  26. Stan Gable

    Did Jessica steal her boobs?

  27. Ashlee Simpson
    Well duh
    Commented on this photo:
  28. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this guy?

  29. Meh

    What happened to her face? Her nose job doesn’t seem to be holding up.

  30. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t know she’s related to SJP.

  31. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    A double shot of irrelevancy, please.
    Thanks!

  32. Shaquile Jefferson

    Bad blow job face and mouth

  33. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    These two in bed… Photoboy, make it happen!

  34. victoria

    she needs to give her blondie furs to a brutha..I did

  35. that music is TOTALLY STOLEN from the scenes in arrested development where george michael is sad!! Calling you out, fish.

  36. Lucy

    She DOES look awful!!! Wonky eyed, and her nose used to look better, now from one side view—her right itcurves upward, and from her left side view in hooks downward. Strange.

  37. Brad Hallston

    She looks like a norsk cock. To think there was a time I would’ve paid upwards of 80-90 dollars to have 1 nut in each Simpson sister’s mouth….

  38. Princess Jesus

    So. Fucked. Up.

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