“Thank you! And you’re baby is so cute, too. Have you used him to make a little emo bitch cry yet? Ohmygod, it’s adorable.”
Because I enjoy a good Ashlee Simpson makes Pete Wentz cry tale as much as the next male knitting guild champ, here’s a little yarn about Ashlee taking after her sister and becoming a walking drunk bag of regrettable decisions. Us Weekly reports:
A source tells the new Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson’s kid sister recently placed an inebriated call to Wentz, with whom she has a 2-year-old son, Bronx. “Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back,” says the source; a rep for Simpson denies the call ever took place.
PETE: *walks up to Ashlee’s doorstep, Bronx in one arm, suitcase in the other* Alright, buddy, this is it. Your mommy called me at three a.m. this morning and said we’re going to be a family again. Finally, after all these months! *opens door*
ASHLEE: OHMYGOD, FUCK ME, GUY I JUST MET LAST NIGHT! FUCK ME LIKE A MAN!
PETE: *closes door, slowly walks away*
Photo: Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
C’mon Pete, don’t be fooled. Here’s that hussy giving a come-hither look to two guys on opposite sides of the room.
If only this was from a bullet’s perspective.
Meh, hardly news, probably bullshit … what I can’t believe is that this broad actually had plastic surgery to get a chin … like … that. Fucking hideous.
Fish got it wrong. She was pining for Daddy Joe to give her a good spanking like the old days.
You KNOW Papa Joe has probably woren out a dozon or so belts on his daughters over the years.
She’s a Cunt, He’s a worthless Piece of shit and they both need to grow the fuck up…
My children deserve better from humanity.
good for her, god forbid a women show some raw emotion
Did I miss something about the crying here because I enjoy a good Ashlee Simpson makes Pete Wentz cry tale as much as the next. So where is that tale??
I’d hit it so hard from the back that it would cut her pillow in half.
Let’s see….
Sinead O’Connor, That 70′s Show girl, and this lezbo wannabe….
You’re not exactly getting me ready to kick off a happy hour, FISH.
My dick just looked at me and shrugged its shoulders and said “What the fuck is this guy doing, it’s Friday.”
That 70′s Show girl? Are you confusing Minka Kelly with Mila Kunis?
Laura Prepon
Oh, sorry. I completely missed that post. I think Fish moved it around on me.
I wonder if she’s as stupid and crazy as she seems.
Irrelevant news about an irrelevant hasbeen.
Who now looks like Sam Ronson. Woof!!
more like a neverwas than a has been.
“And you’re baby is so cute, too.”
You remind me Tila Tequila. You can do better than this man. much better than this…
Ha! Bet she can dial with that CHIN!
nice chin mac tonight.
lol. loved that guy.
Reese Witherspoon + Ellen Degeneres = Ashlee Simpson
Amazingly enough i thought this was Nicki adn Paris, due to Ashley’s wonk eyes.
OMG.
Paris?
Whoever did her nose should be shot. She is starting to look like Mr. Burns.
Time for another edition of………. Was she ever hot in the first place or is my memory shot!?!?
Just looking at these pics, I find it hard to believe this woman was ever attractive. I’d do fat Jessica happily before touching this thing.
Her prosthetic chin is showing.
“Coke, anyone?”
a purse or a waffle maker? you be the judge! lol
Does Ashlee use a ‘guide track’ when she drunk-dials ?
she simply can’t deal this little *SS-KISSER sober, folks!!
Call the police ! someone stole her tits!
Did Jessica steal her boobs?
She looks like Allison Mack
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm651857408/nm0532928
Who is this guy?
What happened to her face? Her nose job doesn’t seem to be holding up.
Didn’t know she’s related to SJP.
A double shot of irrelevancy, please.
Thanks!
Bad blow job face and mouth
These two in bed… Photoboy, make it happen!
she needs to give her blondie furs to a brutha..I did
that music is TOTALLY STOLEN from the scenes in arrested development where george michael is sad!! Calling you out, fish.
Was waiting for someone to “call me out” on this.
1. https://www.facebook.com/becauseyoureugly/posts/227764577271699
2. Scope out the video I used for the audio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oabcM9SOF-E&feature=player_embedded
And for shits and giggles, 3. Check out this one because it’s hilarious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_exermAXkU
She DOES look awful!!! Wonky eyed, and her nose used to look better, now from one side view—her right itcurves upward, and from her left side view in hooks downward. Strange.
She looks like a norsk cock. To think there was a time I would’ve paid upwards of 80-90 dollars to have 1 nut in each Simpson sister’s mouth….
So. Fucked. Up.