A-Rod’s wife files for divorce, blames Madonna
Cynthia Rodriquez, wife of New York Yankee Alex “A-Rod” Rodriquez, has already decided that separation is for pussies and is filing for divorce. She also wants alimony and primary custody of the children which should be fun considering she signed a pre-nup. Whoops. Her attorney Maurice Kutner broke the news to the Miami Herald:
”She feels that she has exhausted every opportunity to salvage the marriage, and that Alex has emotionally abandoned her and the children and has left her with no choice but to divorce him,” Kutner said Sunday.
Cynthia blames Madonna for this whole debacle and believes the pop singer is using her crazy kaballah magic to bend A-Rod to her will, according to NY Daily News:
“I believe he was having an affair with Madonna,” she told a friend, who spoke anonymously for fear of angering A-Rod. “She said she found a letter where Alex told Madonna: ‘You are my true soulmate.'”
“I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him,” Cynthia Rodriguez told the friend. “I don’t recognize the man he’s become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he’s very cold and calculating.”
“Sweet, beautiful, loving husband?” Last I checked, A-Rod was banging strippers before the Madonna shenanigans. I guess he must’ve been really romantic about it: “Honey, Cynthia, listen; I just want you to know you’re my one and only. Which is why I’ve gotta go out this afternoon and put my penis in a stripper. I know it’s Christmas day and all, but I promise to be home in time for supper. Now get that beautiful butt of yours on the couch and don’t have sex with Lenny Kravitz while I’m gone. Ahh, I’m kidding! But not really and I have a gun. Smooches!”