A-Rod: ‘Madonna is my f—ing soulmate’

July 10th, 2008 // 37 Comments

It doesn’t seem like enough of A-Rod’s friends can come out of the woodwork and profess how deeply he loved Madonna. One buddy recalls having dinner with the New York Yankee who kept texting someone and laughing like a schoolboy, according to Us Weekly:

“He told me it was Madonna,” A-Rod’s friend says. “I was shocked.”
The highest-paid player in baseball then “proceeded to say he was in love with her,” the pal tells Us. “I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t.”
By February, the 32-year-old slugger had upped the ante. “He said, ‘She’s my f–king soulmate, dude,’” the friend tells Us.

I’m just waiting for a batboy to show up in the tabloids confessing “I was there. I handed him his cock! He tipped his hat to me and pointed to the outfield just like Babe Ruth before he hit a home run. Except what happened next was way dustier, and I’m pretty sure I saw a Sphinx.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. lolz

    lolz ^_^

  2. Miss Kitty

    Oink oink!

  3. Biggie B

    Looks like Alex got A-Rod for Madonna…

  4. Tim

    Obviously he believes she can hook him up with an endless supply of hot gay men, now that Jeter has moved on.

  5. I had no idea he liked getting it Sparton… which is of course an anagram for strap on.

    I realize there’s no “o” in SpartAn, but the anagram doesn’t work with the correct spelling. Fuck you.

    Oh, an “a rod” is a euphemism for a cock. And the Yankees suck like a fucking syphon.

  6. justtheobvoius

    Madonna is why it is a good thing that people like Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland and Anna Nicole Smith all died young. Who wants to see them get old and wrinkled, turn into sluts, have kids, get ugly, get flabby, screw everyone on the planet, become black, go back to being white, move to France, think you are French even though you were trailer trash from Detroit, dislike TV and not let your kids be influenced by teen idols like yourself who thought it would be great to be a slut and sing about out of wedlock pregnancy, write books about being a slut and do odd things with the cross just to get attention, then go and write children’s books and expect people to buy them and turn out to be just plain dumb.

    Go away, die or stay in France you gapped toothed tramp.

  7. Racer X

    Is this a joke?

  8. Bet she wears a Jeter mask when she wrecks that.

  9. kitten

    She looks like William Dafoe.

  10. kitten

    She looks like William Dafoe.

  11. ishi-san

    Is she wearing a DARTH VADER costume??????????????

  12. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    No, she looks like Weird Al

    Didn’t she used to be hot?

    Hmmmmmm, my memory fails me in this old age.

  13. Robert Acquafresca

    Shes not his soul mate. She just has a magic pussy. No matter how ugly she is, she screws better then anyone on the planet. There are a few women like that around and if a man gets to be with one of them, he is immediately in love, or so he thinks. Madonnas sexual legacy is solidified even more by her trapping of Arod. He is married to a hot woman, can bang any other woman he wants, yet Madonna still stands out. I dont find Madonna attractive, but my guess is if she got a hold of me sexually, id probably over look her appearance to hit it repeatedly. From the neck down she looks good so I can only imagine the mind changing experience Arod had and now he is all mentally fucked up because he wants Madonna but realizes he is losing his family. Madonna is like human crack.

  14. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    Not that it makes it any less gay, but she lives in England and now has has an accent. I still agree with you. She’s a fucking douchebag hippocrite, but yeah she lives in a castle in England. Pretentious bitch.

  15. barge


    she has those shield sunglasses like all the old people

  16. alex troy

    #11 – she looks like the Emperor!

  17. English Bob

    Who the fuck is this A-Rod geezer ??? More to the point, Who the fuck cares ???

  18. #17 – It’s baseball, dude… above the intellectual capacity of many non-Americans.

  19. twzzlrgirl

    #13 – “From the neck down she looks good….”

    I beg to differ! Have you seen those arms? The looks like something out of a superhero movie, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

    I DO, however, agree, that she is seen as some kind of sexual icon, and she is also, i’m sure, very seductive and exciting. So, A-Rod got kinda taken away by the mystique of Madonna.

    I think she’s hideous, btw.

  20. dude

    Fish, that is funny. I’m still cleaning breakfast burrito ploppage off my monitor. “What happened next…was way dustier…”

  21. Grunion

    I love it when someone you have suspected of being semi-retarded for years finally opens his mouth and confirms it. Way to go Gay rod, you are officiallly the slowest man on the planet.

    “Madonna’s my soul mate”, fuck you can’t make shit like that up lol.
    What a fucking moron.

  22. Jen

    She’s looks less likely to be his soul mate and more likely to be his soul eater. Watch out A-Rod, she’s coming for you.

  23. cowgirl

    Whoa, whoa, calm down there Elliot Spitz.

    None of us are judging you as harshly as you’re imagining.

    Sounds like you’re having conversations with the voices in your head again.

  24. English Bob

    OH yeah, sorry Elliot…Baseball eh? We call it Rounders over here, and only girls play it, but still…whatever floats your boat, dude!!!!

  25. A-Rod sounds like a real A-Hole.

    Oh, and I agree with justtheobvious above. Live fast, die young, leave a pretty corpse, and quit fucking married men.

  26. squeaky

    Um, the real “magic pussy” here belongs to A-Rod’s wife. She squeezed out the insurance policy, i.e. kid and now she’s set for life and free to go fuck someone whose dick isn’t shrunken to the size of a peanut by steriods. Sounds magical to me…

  27. #23 – “None of us”? When did I intimate I was being judged? The voices in my head tell me they’ve been talking to the voices in your head, and you’ll be happy to know your voices are going insane due to all the echoing…

    #24 – “Rounders”? Uuuuhhh… ok… I will say, it doesn’t surprise me the women there have more testicular fortitude than the men.

  28. GUy and Madonna have an open relationship. Big deal. Too bad for A-Rod

  29. Harry Ballzack

    She’s a “Mud-Hen”

  30. Ball

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  31. I call BS something stinks with this development…

  32. I’m wondering how his soul looks like.

  33. justtheobvoius

    Its neat how all the Hollywood tards think they can blend in by wearing more clothing than anyone else .. like they don’t stick out like a sore thumb then!

  34. Stowe

    I am really fond of her.She is a cute babe…She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebs online service R I C H L O V I N G.C O M with her hot pictures and blogs there. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there.

  35. Ishi-san

    @ yeah! :-) ….that’s true, the Emperor’s wife!

  36. Ishi-san

    @ 16: :-) ….that’s true, the Emperor’s wife!

  37. hi

    They should have called this guy NIMROD.

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