A-Rod ‘emotionally abused’ by wife, says his friends and other people who now have season tickets for the Yanks

There’s been a lot of finger pointing at Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez’s extramarital activities (possibly in or around Madonna’s vagina) as the cause of his divorce. But guess again! According to his close friends, it was all Cynthia’s fault. GASP! NY Daily News reports:

“He’s had several therapists. Cynthia has a master’s degree in psychology. Once she found out how vulnerable he was, she got into his head. Several of us begged him not to marry this woman, but he did it anyway.”
“She said she wanted him to become a mainstream sports star,” says a source. “She didn’t want him typecast as a Latin player. She discouraged him from taking part in Hispanic community events.”
“She wouldn’t even let him eat Spanish food,” claims another source. “She didn’t like him hanging out with old buddies from Washington Heights.”
“He said, ‘I hate this. I want out,’ but she kept insisting they could work it out,” says a source. “After about six months of him asking for a divorce, she said it was okay for him to see other people, but she wouldn’t agree to a separation.”
Says another pal: “Cynthia brainwashed him, not Madonna.”

So, basically, Cynthia used her masters in psychology to “brainwash” A-Rod into not eating Spanish food and screwing other women. Yeah, that’s some diabolical shit. There’s nothing men hate more than avoiding spicy food and getting laid a lot. Jesus. Is there divorce finalized yet? Because I’m about to propose to this chick before Lenny Kravitz beats me to it, and then we have to guitar battle on top of a volcano. So annoying…