A-Rod ‘emotionally abused’ by wife, says his friends and other people who now have season tickets for the Yanks

July 21st, 2008 // 43 Comments

There’s been a lot of finger pointing at Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez’s extramarital activities (possibly in or around Madonna’s vagina) as the cause of his divorce. But guess again! According to his close friends, it was all Cynthia’s fault. GASP! NY Daily News reports:

“He’s had several therapists. Cynthia has a master’s degree in psychology. Once she found out how vulnerable he was, she got into his head. Several of us begged him not to marry this woman, but he did it anyway.”
“She said she wanted him to become a mainstream sports star,” says a source. “She didn’t want him typecast as a Latin player. She discouraged him from taking part in Hispanic community events.”
“She wouldn’t even let him eat Spanish food,” claims another source. “She didn’t like him hanging out with old buddies from Washington Heights.”
“He said, ‘I hate this. I want out,’ but she kept insisting they could work it out,” says a source. “After about six months of him asking for a divorce, she said it was okay for him to see other people, but she wouldn’t agree to a separation.”
Says another pal: “Cynthia brainwashed him, not Madonna.”

So, basically, Cynthia used her masters in psychology to “brainwash” A-Rod into not eating Spanish food and screwing other women. Yeah, that’s some diabolical shit. There’s nothing men hate more than avoiding spicy food and getting laid a lot. Jesus. Is there divorce finalized yet? Because I’m about to propose to this chick before Lenny Kravitz beats me to it, and then we have to guitar battle on top of a volcano. So annoying…


  1. joedude


  2. veggi

    She also talked him into sucking shemale stripper cock. Which, as sportsdvl can attest, is not much of a leap when you already spend all your time watching other men.

  3. This bitch doesn’t deserve a dime of A-Rod’s money. She was cheating (same as him). Hopefully there is a good pre-nup.

  4. Wow, troll #2 tries to bash me when we all know she/he/it is a shemale themselves. And troll #3 once again proves that trolls don’t even have enough money to make a funny post. Nice job douche bags!!

  5. I do love that SheMale Cock! mmmm

  6. Yes troll #6 – we all know you do!

  7. Dr. Phil

    “This bitch doesn’t deserve a dime of A-Rod’s money. She was cheating (same as him). Hopefully there is a good pre-nup.”

    Diagnosis: woman-hating sports fanatic (not a jock, but a jock-sniffer).

  8. rough daddy

    look, whats the problem? everyone is getting what they want at the end of all of this,,,,lets cut out the charade…next!!!

  9. havoc

    I totally believe this. Women are evil.

    Especially those with Master’s degrees..

    True story…….

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  11. Towel-headed sand nigger

    SEE!!!!! Never allow a woman to read! NEVER!

  12. Herky

    See, it has nothing to do with him boning Madonna. His wife has been boning him “emotiionally”


  13. #7 – We all know you do to!

  14. justifiable

    Pretty fucking pathetic when the only way he can spin this is to be either massively pussy whipped or under zombie mind control. I was gonna opt for the last one, but since he’s usually shown with his stupid mouth open catching flies with that wad of gum-cud, I don’t think he has a mind TO control.

  15. Sandy

    A-Rod’s always been know as a too-sensitive faggy type, but good lord, this makes him sound like a total pussy. I feel so bad for NY Yankees fans – he’s their MVP so they have to root for a confused homosexual who chokes not only in the clutch, but also on dick.

  16. SpEdLaw2


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  17. Hey Special Ed Lawyer (#17) – we have lots of people here who could probably use your services as they rode the ‘short’ bus to school.

  18. A-Rod is an idiot

    So the dimwitted colored jock was brainwashed by the evil white woman?

  19. rough daddy

    does he have a brain of a mongoliod? why is he so easily fall under mind contol

  20. you pizza faced conservatives

    HA! Obama was supposed to fall on his face and show how little he knows during his trip to Iraq. Instead the Iraqi government said their time frame for U.S. troop withdrawal is the same as Obama’s. It’s on tape so there’s no way to argue it. Remember all those congressional Republican buttholes who dipped their fingers in ink to show support for the Iraqi “free” elections? Kinda biting you in the butt now, isn’t it?

    Plus, the senile old man (McCain) today AGAIN confused where the important national boundaries are in the Middle East. On the upside, he didn’t appear to have urine on his pants during his TV interview.

  21. Did anyone visit my website?

  22. Fumus

    “Is there* divorce finalized yet?”

    *their, not there fish!

    C’mon your grammar is getting worse than Kayne Wests’

  23. Jimmy The Greek

    What do you expect, she’s Greek.

    Meanwhile, I’ve heard her boobs are rocking.

  24. qwertygirl

    #23. You beat me to it. :)

  25. woodhorse

    well then that college degree really paid off ——-”She wouldn’t even let him eat Spanish food,” claims another source. ———- try pulling that off with a GED.

  26. BigJim

    Boo fucking hoo.

    My wife emotionally abuses me all the time. Why just yesterday I said, “Baby, come on over here and suck my cock.”

    She said, “No.”

    If that ain’t serious emotional abuse, then I don’t know what is.

  27. ph7

    That picture says it all. Just llok at it closely. She’s got the kid, which is a guarantee of a lifetime of support from A-Rod. But she walking ahead of A-Rod, seems uninterested him, and clearly is inside her own head, plotting and scheming.

    He just walks behind, making funny faces to his kid, and is completley oblivious to the fact she is planning him great harm.

  28. BaCrock Obsama

    You’d have to pay me to eat refried beans


  30. Harry Ballzck

    A-Wad’s Cynthia’s {{Bitch}} !!!!!!!

  31. jiminy

    Spanish food? Like paella?
    Ooooh, I get it…you’re a typical dumbass who confuses the language spoken in a country with the nationality. Got it.

  32. kk

    She has a total bitchface but still…


  33. The Rock Osama

    I bet A-Rod could suck a baseball through a garden hose.

  34. Fugyoself

    Gee whiz! Now who would have thought a money-grubbing whore would play mind games? Shocker, what with the high standards set by money grubbing whores everywhere that she’d stoop this low…..

  35. Harry

    having seen his wife, Madonna, and one of the strippers he shagged, I guess it’s safe to say A. Rod is into the “manly, beefy” type.

  36. It must be hard spending all those millions by yourself.

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  37. Omnibacon

    A Rod has a 5 inch clitoris.

    Jeter told me.

  38. not buying it

    okay so she wouldn’t allow him to be Hispanic? so that’s why he ran over the “very latin” Madonna? Oh please. This sounds like bull.

  39. Frybread

    These sports stars and celebrity men shouldn’t even get married in the first place. Most of the women they meet are probably into them for the money and fame, so why take a chance?

  40. Brian

    @21 your pathetic.

  41. Brian

    @21 your pathetic.

  42. Brian

    @21 your pathetic.

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