A-Rod and wife settle divorce

September 19th, 2008 // 29 Comments

Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez has reached a private divorce settlement with his wife Cynthia. Their marriage publicly fell apart when it was discovered that A-Rod loves banging strippers and the occasional mummy. Cynthia was looking for a huge chunk of change to maintain the “high standard of living” she’s accustomed to, but unfortunately for her, she signed a prenup, according to NY Daily News:

“Cynthia and Alex Rodriguez have amicably resolved their dissolution of marriage proceedings,” read a terse statement released by the superstar ball player’s lawyer, Alan Kluger.
“They deliberately engaged in a private negotiation,” Kluger said. “This was and remains a personal family matter for both of them. All of their decisions were based upon and guided by the best interests of their daughters.”

I hope Madonna’s happy. Actually, I know she’s happy because, every time a couple gets a divorce, Madonna eats a baby. Where did I read that? Oh, right: THE BIBLE.

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Comments (29)

  1. UglyPeopleSafaris | September 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    boobies

    Reply
  2. Mike | September 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    Nice, now I can drink Cynthia’s douche, without breaking up their marriage.

    Reply
  3. alex | September 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    1st?

    Reply
  4. rough daddy | September 19, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Now c-rod going to hold on to that money like she earned it,,,probably going to get the guy she really wanted in the first place!

    A-rod *bring on the endless parade of whores*

    Reply
  5. alex | September 19, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    i always read this site but never comment, what a disappointment :(

    Reply
  6. Andrea | September 19, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    I hope Cynthia got most of his money. She deserves it, not him.

    Reply
  7. havoc | September 19, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Tough shit. You signed a pre-nup.

    .

    Reply
  8. minerva | September 19, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    I don’t want to say that she doesn’t deserve money because she does but I hate that she asks for it to support her “lifestyle” It’s a little dumb… But then on I guess shopping at wal-mart after having the best things in life might be too much to handle…

    Reply
  9. Shut up and comment only about entertainment celebrities | September 19, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    FINALLY! It took the most conservative newspaper in the land, The Wall Street Journal, to publish an editorial that called a spade a spade (so to speak) – that McCain is NOT a conservative:

    “”The chairman of the SEC serves at the appointment of the President and has betrayed the public’s trust. If I were President today, I would fire him,” said McCain. Wow. “Betrayed the public’s trust.” Was Mr. Cox dishonest? No. He merely changed some minor rules, and didn’t change others, on short-selling. String him up! Mr. McCain clearly wants to distance himself from the Bush Administration. But this assault on Mr. Cox is both false and deeply unfair. It’s also un-Presidential…In a crisis, voters want steady, calm leadership, not easy, misleading answers that will do nothing to help. Mr. McCain is sounding like a candidate searching for a political foil rather than a genuine solution. He’ll never beat Mr. Obama by running as an angry populist like Al Gore, circa 2000.”

    No shit. I can’t believe my fellow Republicans are eating up the shit that McCain’s campaign is spewing. And not to mention Gov. Palin – windfall taxes on companies that risked billions to make it through all the years of cheap gas prices and are finally reaping some completely legal and legitimate profits? A government that says “let’s have a MAXIMUM wage too!”??? That’s one of Ted Kennedy’s dreams from the 1970s. Wake up and force the Republican party to get back to basics (what the fuck do I care if somebody has an abortion? Just keep your fucking hands off my hard-earned money) — write in a protest vote for Ron Paul. Have the discipline to wait 4 years to elect a true conservative leader.

    Reply
  10. Richard McBeef | September 19, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Rough daddy – I see you haven’t killed yourself yet, let us know when you plan to “git er done” as they say.

    Reply
  11. fuck you leftards | September 19, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    #9 You liberal shitheads eat up the shit that Obama dumps in your mouth about change. He took the second most money of anyone on Congress from the corrupt Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac that now cost taxpayers $1 Trillion to bail out. Both of the former corrupt CEO’s of Fannie Mae are now working for Obama. Change you can believe in

    Reply
  12. FRIST!!! | September 19, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    Richard McBeef- why are you picking on Rough Daddy?? That’s so mean!!!!!

    Everybody knows that’s MY job..

    hehhehehe

    Reply
  13. Shut up and comment only about entertainment celebrities | September 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    #11 – uh, yeah, ok. See, Ron Paul’s pretty fucking far from liberal. But I see you can only handle either-or concepts, so just sit back and have another (foreign-owned) ice cold Bud.

    Reply
  14. rough daddy | September 19, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Listen mc kweeff, im sure if you off yourself , no one miss you…Im way too important for that! beside it would be on bearable finacially for the city….

    Reply
  15. rough daddy | September 19, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Hey? Frist you want to make yourself useful today? be my maid and add (un) to bearable for me…im sure itll be the hightlight of your day….

    Reply
  16. Richard McBeef | September 19, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Rough daddy – maybe you should use some of your importance and vast wealth to push through an intensive spelling and grammar program for your city.

    Reply
  17. vg902 | September 19, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    gold digger

    Reply
  18. JimmyBachaFungool | September 19, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    At least ARod tried marriage unlike the STD infested SS Jeter. I hear Jeter is leaving is mocha shots in Lance Bass’ ass anyway. Jeter has also been linked to Jimmy Fallon and that gay black model, I forget his name.

    Reply
  19. they suck outloud | September 19, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Yet another pair of creepy douchebags the world would be better off without.

    Hoping they’ll FOAD soon.

    Reply
  20. Amy | September 19, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    pray for mimi

    Reply
  21. Amy | September 19, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    pray for mimi

    Reply
  22. supersex | September 19, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    A-Rod dumb ass, should have knocked her off while she was in France.

    Reply
  23. STevec | September 19, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    A-Fraud …. what a joke…..he brought the overpaid Yankees down to an underachiever level with his adolescent antics and I want to personally thank him on behalf of the playoff-bound Tampa Bay Rays and Red Sox.

    Reply
  24. tc | September 20, 2008 at 12:07 am

    I find this woman very classy, and sexually attractive.

    Does anyone know how I can get to meet her?

    Reply
  25. friendlyfires | September 20, 2008 at 4:09 am

    Why do hot bitches think they can invalidate a rock solid pre-nup? That’s what pre-nups are for … if you hafta’ to feel an over-riding need to buy another yacht for your lawyer.

    Save money. No marriage. No sleep-overs. Video all transactions.
    And keep the receipts, fer crissakes, it’s amazing what you can write off.

    Reply
  26. HorribleJudgment | September 20, 2008 at 6:50 am

    Good for them. Why does A-Rod look like he has something suspicious in his mouth in that picture. What a way to unhinge your jaw right when the camera is flashing, idiot. You deserve to hand your wife to hand your millions just for that douche baggy shot. You look like a fucking asshat. God!

    Reply
  27. my comment | September 20, 2008 at 8:05 am

    She’s got a face like an axe and he’s a mixed up clown.

    Blech.

    Reply
  28. Suck It | September 20, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Little gold digging sluts. A rod, you dumb ass. You should have seen this coming. What were you thinking? Yeah I know, those are some nice tits.

    Reply
  29. gerard Vandenberg | September 21, 2008 at 1:13 am

    Women are indeed complicated creatures for this A-(sshole) ROD!!

    Reply

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