Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver Are Getting Back Together. Why Not?

January 3rd, 2012 // 46 Comments

Arnold Schwarzenegger banged and groped hundreds of women behind his wife’s back, knocking up all of them including the maid who pretended Arnold’s bastard son was another man’s even though the kid looked just like Arnold and somehow always got invited on family vacations without the benefit of being allowed to have genuine, honest moments with his dad and siblings. On the other hand, Maria Shriver looks like the goddamn Predator, so really, there was no other way for this to end. TMZ reports:

TMZ broke the story … Maria has been having second thoughts about pulling the plug on the marriage — despite Arnie knocking up the family maid — because of her deeply held religious views.
Arnold hadn’t been photographed in his wedding band in months, but over the past few days — Arnold dusted off the ol’ ring and reminded the world he’s STILL a married man.

Keep in mind, these pics of Maria Shriver wearing her wedding ring are from this morning, so apparently someone really can’t wait to keep a cold marital bed again and get back to some good old-fashioned denial. She’s going to ignore all that groping so good.

Photos: INFdaily


  1. Wow.. he really meant it when he said “Ah’ll be back.” It applies to all aspects of his life, including marriage????

  2. Anyone familiar with the mating habits of Gila monsters will not be surprised by this. They mate for life. Maria is just following her genetic protocol.

  3. pretty vacant

    obviously its a lot harder getting good nanny ass when ur single and u dont have custody of the kids.

  4. Richard McBeef

    The only thing more weak minded than getting back with your husband that fathers secret children with the help is having ‘strong religious values’

    • Felonious Monkey

      Organized religion is for idiots. She must have really low self esteem or none at all. And he doesn’t want to divide his assets and pay alimony. The Terminator wins this fight. Damn. LOL

      • Alex

        What happened to all of her religious values when she was banging Arnold, for all those years, before they were married. She is setting a terrible examples for her daughters, who are now going to grow up thinking all women should be doormats and sex prisoners to their men.

  5. EricLr

    After taking a brief look into her heart, and a much longer look into her finances, she’s realized that she’s a very forgiving person.

  6. Schmidtler

    I always assumed Arnold married this skeletor looking freak to help his political career – so now that he’s out of politics, why take her back? C’mon, Arnold – think about all that sweet middle aged doughy mexican ass you’ll miss out on if you get back with Mrs. Skeletor!

  7. Deacon Jones

    Uhhh…..look, I get the family thing,,,I do, Arnold.

    But you’re a fucking moviestar with millions of dollars, at least live it up another year or so cruising the world, sampling the fine cuisine, before pulling THIS shit

  8. dontkillthemessenger

    Wait, what???????

    This is making me rethink my Christian faith. If it’s causing people to do things this stupid…

  9. Rumor has it, she’s making him sign a no taco clause this time around. Of any kind.

  10. Johnny P!

    Maria: :In the age of Facebook, Twitter and the Internets, no one really seems to care about the Kennedys anymore. I feel a little irrelevant…”
    Arnold: “I’m reduced to playing aging action heroes with other past-their-best-buy-dates former action heroes”.
    —loooong pause—-
    Maria: “So, pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?”
    Arnold: “Uh, sure… I’ll take my old bedroom back, yeah? By the way, who’s the new house keeper?”
    Maria: *** playful slap*** “Oh youuuu! Welcome home, honey!”

  11. It's the kimkim, bitches

    Oh, religion, how fucking hilariously fucked up you are. If your religion allows you to be walked all over, or practically welcomes it, you should probably rethink your belief system, you dumb bitch. Or not, you’re a dumb bitch who brought this on yourself by marrying The Terminator, so I’m pretty sure god wants you suffer for being so fucking retarded.

  12. Venom

    Arnold keeps weak minded people around him including his wife and kids. Remember when this all broke how his effeminate son Patrick tried to play he was all hard and changing his name to Shriver and then I am guessing that Arnold bitch slapped him around a couple of times because the boy was running around kissing his ass in no time.

    Arnold cheated and had the kid, but he did not move out or get kicked out, this idiot left the house instead. She had a big career as a journalist and gave it up most likely because he made her. He did not even issue an apology to her in public for what he did to her and his family, he walks about as arrogant and cocky as ever.

    She has no balls, she deserves whatever happens to her.

    • John

      She only got the executive journalist job because she’s a Kennedy. Any other person with the same credentials would’ve had to start their careers as a low paying intern and make coffee and pay their dues for a long time just to be made an assistant to a journalist, and then a junior journalist, and then maybe when she’s 30 years old or older she might get a job as a real journalist.

  13. Arnold Schwarzenegger Wedding Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Marc Anthony? The skelator legacy continues….

  14. TheDevilYouKnow

    C’mon, it is really a surprise that a Kennedy woman is sticking with her unfaithful husband? That’s all them bitches know how to do. That and go to funerals.

    Too soon?

  15. pookiewookie

    If shes stupid enough to take him back no one will believe her credibility when she comes out for speaking engagements or when she writes another book.

  16. forrest gump

    no doubt: CALIFORNIANS LOVE THE “Fake-Style”.
    …………this is the prove!!

  17. Burt

    It seems to me some American Catholics are stuck in the past. It’s as if they never clued in that they are no longer risk being excommunicated if they don’t blindly follow the dogma.

  18. Arnold Schwarzenegger Wedding Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Pictured: Maria’s He-Man ring.

  19. Arnold Schwarzenegger Wedding Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dere’s da choppa. We should probably, y’know, get to it or something.”

  20. She’s been listening to his Total Recall commentary all week.

  21. tlmck

    Translation: She did not get any bigger, better offers.

  22. Arnold Schwarzenegger Maria Shriver Wedding Rings
    Eggs McBacon
    Commented on this photo:

    Father Time is especially cruel to the Kennedy/Shriver women.

  23. Inmate 12236969

    Arnold knows how to lay that pipe that’s why she’s sticking around.

  24. oh i know

    “…dare to enter the TUSKS”?!?!? i almost fell off my balance ball!! hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! love ya Fish!!! :)

  25. Mike

    Well, obviously she has known about this for a long time. Arnold fucks and gropes everything that moves. Duh. I guess the publicity following the revelation of the son was too much for her, but now that it has died down, why not go back.

  26. ydc

    I think she’s using her religion as an excuse. She’s just a weak fool.

  27. karim muhammad

    Lets all just back off! never mind throwing the first stone! I just If she takes him back, Well!!!. At the very least its her problem. Man you should see some of my problems.

  28. San August

    If Maria take him back, she would be a fool, for would Arnold really really stop his womanizing. Come on, like that would happen. She would use her religion as an excuse. Okay, fine. But it would happen again, and would she divorce him? That’s a sin, right. So she would have to put up with whatever he wants, including going out with whatever women he wants to bed and have children with? Would he hire another housekeeper? Good grief, you would think Maria would learn from the first time.

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