Armie Hammer Might Be The New Batman (Again)

October 10th, 2012 // 37 Comments
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And Robin is black. I’m joking! (Racists.)

Back in 2007, Armie Hammer was cast as Batman in a Justice League movie that never saw the light of day thanks to the writer’s strike, the Australian government going back on a 40% tax rebate and I’m assuming everyone going, “Wait, Adam Brody is The Flash? Fuck me, we did drugs again. Stop the production!” So naturally Warner Bros. is considering repeating that whole process because Armie already fits in the suit and it’s not like people’s bodies change over time. That’s crazy talk. Via Moviehole:

The studio need a new guy to guard the cave now that Christian Bale has hung up the cowl. And with plans to reintroduce a younger take on the character in the upcoming “Justice League” movie, a draft of which has been completed by Will Beale, the studio has Hammer atop of their list of potentials. It’s really, when you think about it, a no-brainer. Thus, I wasn’t much surprised when informed this morning that he’s in with a good chance to play the part in the superhero tag-team movie.
It’s a win win, really. Hammer apparently wears the suit smartly, has already rehearsed for the gig before, but more so, is a much bigger star than he was three or four years ago.

I’m hearing talk/wishful dreaming that Brad Bird might be handed the keys to Justice League as well as orchestrating that whole universe ala Joss Whedon over at Marvel right now, so that’s probably the only way I’d be able to stomach Batman being played by a perpetually smiling trust fund baby who hasn’t brooded since that time father made him memorize the secret ingredients to baking powder and then withstand torture without revealing them. Haha! Birthdays.

“Alright, Armie, in this scene you’re going toe-to-toe with Aquaman who just mocked your life-long quest to rid Gotham City of crime.”
“Huh?”
“Your dad called and said he already booked the ski chalet the weekend you wanted it.”
VENGEANCE!

Photos: Getty

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  1. Rico Jones

    Hollywood is bankrupt. Creatively that is.

    • Deacon Jones

      Exactly!

      How many more fucking Batman movies can they possibly make?

      What’s this one going to be called?

      “Batman 7: The 30 Minute Bowel Movement”

      • Deacon Jones

        And coming soon!

        Batman 8: They Didn’t Cut the Fucking Grass Yet”

      • “Batman 7: The 30 Minute Bowel Movement”

        I believe that was called Batman & Robin.

      • Unfortunately, that was way longer than 30 minutes.

      • Johnny Cage

        So true. They need to stop rehashing stuff to the point of nausea. The last Batman franchise ended wonderfully with all 3 perfect movies. They should just let it retire in glory. Instead these people are trying to compete with Marvel now and are going to milk it dry and make it look ridiculous. Let DC have a more serious tone. I can’t help but to think if these guys go “Avengers” on Batman and Superman it will just look like that Ben Stiller film Mystery Men.

    • Trek Girl

      Hollywood is definitely not creatively bankrupt. There are plenty of ideas, both new and old, for them to use. It would be great if they would take some risks and use them, but I guess sticking to what they think will be big box office draws is one way they are tightening their belts.

      • Rico Jones

        No. Hollywood is in fact creatively bankrupt.

      • It’s because the studio’ are controlled by mrketing scum whose only goal is to rebrand everything and re-sell it as if movies were Coco-cola and McDonalds.

        There are TENS OF THOUSANDS of great books out there that would make excellent movies but Hollywood is spending WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH today. You can’t be isky of innovative when 150-300 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS is on the line.

        But the REAL problem is that the studio’s don’t want to make smaller movies on a lower budget because that does nothing for the stock holder scum who only want to see their paper spike; so this is why Hollywood would rather spend 150-300 mill on a generic piece of shit than, say, making 10 movies for 15-30 milllion dollars.

        It’s economic insanity but the genius MBA Harard/Yale wankers know better, don’t they…….

      • Trek Girl

        @Rico Jones: You and the people who agree with you can believe that all you want, but the fact is that there are ideas, scripts, screenplays, etc. from decades ago that are filed away not being used, and there are new ideas streaming in every day. They are not at a loss for ideas. If anything, the fact that they have thousands of options for making movies and aren’t using them is worse than them simply being out of material.

      • Deacon Jones

        (WHOOOOOOSH)
        That was his whole point going over your head.

      • Trek Girl

        @Deacon Jones: care to explain?

      • They are creatively bankrupt because they only care about money, not art. I believe the guys made their point very well.

      • Trek Girl

        I would like to point out that there is a difference between being creatively bankrupt – which basically means lacking creativity – and being plenty creative, but not using what is being created in favor of more generic movies or proven box office hits in order to make money. They are similar, that is true, but they are not the same. Hollywood is sitting on, creating, and recieving movie – concept gold on a regular basis, and they know it…they’re just not using much of it.

  2. Unless Warner Bros. is smart enough to hire Paul Dini and Bruce Timm (Batman The Animated Series) to co-script it with The Wachowski’s and then let The Wachowski’s Direct, I’ll pass on this blatant attemp to cash in on The Avengers success.

    Most likely they’ hire some fucking script monkey like Roberto Orci/Robet Kurtzman/Damon Lindelof and then some fucking hack like Brett Ratner, McG or Paul “What Script” Anderson to Direct.

  3. Batman Begins Again: Origin of Reboot

  4. Armie Hammer New Batman Zoe Saldana
    Troll's Nighmare
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a younger, lamer Roger Moore. Zoe Saldana could play a tougher and more believable Batman.

  5. EricLr

    I keep hearing this douchebag’s name, but I have no idea why. Looking at his IMDB page, it looks like his only credits are the same shitty CW shows every young actor in Hollywood has been in and a Lone Ranger movie that hasn’t even come out yet.

    This shithead must have the best publicist in Hollywood.

    • Troll's Nighmare

      Or maybe did the same thing as Travolta 30 years ago. Perhaps massage stories of the future will be about him.

    • Funny how The Social Network and J. Edgar escaped your notice, EricLr. “He played the Winklevoss Twins? What was that, a cameo or something?” you said in your mind.

  6. Me

    Please, please :’o(

  7. JC

    I’m not surprised they couldn’t wait 10 minutes before making a new Batman movie because, duh, they can’t be expected to come up with a new thought, but given the executions associated with the last one, you’d think they’d maybe try to wait a little longer. Unless they’re calling it, “Batman 7: This Time, Audience Members Don’t Get Shot. We Hope.”

  8. Beer Baron

    ^^^ or could it be that he’s in an influential family? Fuckin’ Arm & Hammer.

    What a d-bag.

    • Craptard

      His father (Armand Hammer) made all his money running Occidental Petroleum, never had any stake or anything at all to do with the baking soda company Arm & Hammer – he bought that company 20 or so years ago – only because he got tired of people assuming he did own it.

  9. Armie Hammer New Batman Zoe Saldana
    Commented on this photo:

    A new Batman? Awesome! I can’t wait to get another 75 minutes of a movie devoted to the origin story that every fucking person on the planet knows already.

  10. CreepyThinMan reviews….The Dark Knight Rises….

    What a horrible, fucking wretched pile of stinking shit this movie was. By the end I was relieved it was fucking over. You can tell that not only did Nolan not have a fucking clue as to what this movie was supposed to be about, it’s clear that he didn’t give a shit. Not only that but after all that fucking BULLSHIT about this being the “finale” they might as have well put up a fucking TO BE CONTINUED… at the end just to give the cocksuckers at Warner. Brothers an open door for a fucking sequel.

    Where to begin? The incredibly sloppy pacing. The Overabundances of characters that added nothing to the overall story and who could have been cut out to make this ass numbing garbage go a bit faster. No themes, no subtext, FUCKING NOTHING that warranted my time wasted on this fucking trash. What a fucking letdown, especially after what they managed to accomplish with The Dark Knight. This movie is completely fucking redundant.

    Nolan didn’t have a fucking clue what he wanted this movie to be about. Batman Begins was about FEAR! TDK was about Order, Chaos and Chance which was symbolized with Batman, The Joker and Two-face. TDKR was about putting money into Nolan’s fucking bank account. I’ve complained about BB being to “comic bookish” but TDKR is soo fucking generic it’s unbelievable! After the breakthrough of TDK, Nolan has made a Batman movie with a plot soo fucking clichéd that it makes the “fear toxin dispersal” of BB seem like fucking Shakspeare. There’s a bad guy, he has a nuke, Batman saves the day, BUT WAIT, is he really dead?!? The femme fatale with a heart of gold. The love interest that’s a back stabber. BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!!

    Nolan fucked this in soo many ways it boggles the mind. And to those of you who say “but, but, but, the final 30 minutes are the awesomz!!!” FUCK YOU! There is soo much inconsistent fucking retardation that I don’t know where to begin and those final 30 were fucking snoozville unless you ride a fucking shortbus and haven’t seen that type of conclusion at least a dozen times in your life.

    8 Years Later – Why did this need to be set that far in the future? Why is Bruce Wayne’s body gimped out? He was only Batman for A YEAR and even though he took a beating, 8 years and the best medicine in the world would have healed him, especially if he hadn’t of been Batman for that time.

    John Blake – A fucking useless character who was there only to set up sequels with him as Robin. I wanted to see GORDON AND BATMAN in action! Not some fucking rookie cop. Fuck JGL and the horse he rode in on. Oh and I loooove that look on his face when he shoots and kills the MEN WHO INTENDED ON MURDERING HIM as if “no, guns bad, I done wrong!”. You’re not a ninja Blake, stick to the bang bangs you fucking pig!

    Mathe Modine – Whose characters name I couldn’t even be bothered to look up as he’s yet another fucking useless bitch who takes time away from what’s important.

    Miranda Tate/ Ra’s al Ghul daughter – Fucking useless love interest who was obviously set up as a literal backstabber. Tell me again, she sets up the scenario where she has access to a nuke and wants to destroy Gotham but why exactly didn’t she just set the fucking thing off considering that she had a fucking death wish and was prepared to die to avenge her father. Speaking of which, even with her dead and Batman believed to be gone, what’s stopping the League of Shadows from trying to destroy Gotham again? The League isn’t tied to one man or his fucking family. If they’ve been around for centuries then I’m sure the efforts of a costumed billionaire aren’t going to stop them.

    Bane – What a piece of shit, even when I could hear him through his fucking gimp mask, which was only about half the time. The character FUCKING SUCKS and all Nolan did was make him a generic thug with a few extra braincells who crushed skulls. Oh and how awesome was it that he basically engineered a takeover of the ENTIRE CITY and conveniently Jim Gordon left a fucking letter of admission about the truth behind Harvey Dent’s death to really rile up the rabble as though it makes any difference to criminals. What fucking difference did that make AT FUCKING ALL?!? They still would have been freed and tore through Gotham. Again, since Miranda Tate wanted to nuke Gotham what was the fucking point of trapping cops in the tunnels and spending months if not YEARS setting up explosives to trap them. You know, for someone portrayed as viciously brutal, I don’t quite understand why Bane would trap all of the city’s cops and not, say, gas them all to fucking death like rats. Talking about gas, I noticed that they didn’t even bother to explain what that fucking mask was for except that he couldn’t breath without it. Except that he could when Ra’s al Ghul found him in the prison with a cloth over his mouth. What did the other prisoners do to him? Fuck his piehole soo many times that he couldn’t take in fresh air?!

    There is just so much stupid fucking shit in this fucking movie!

    Catwoman – Could have been used well if Nolan wasn’t soo fucking obsessed with “realism” that he sucks the life out of everything. What exactly was her storyline? She was being used to secure Wayne’s fingerprints in exchange for a clean slate by Bane? Got conned and then turned good guy to help Wayne in exchange for the same stupid plot device; some sort of software that can erase your identity, unless it’s been recorded on PAPER I guess?! Catwoman’s moral ambiguity was always the backbone of her character and made her contrast with Batman. That’s her strength. But she was basically a pawn between Bane and Wayne. Oh and how nice that she killed Bane FUCKING DEAD because Batman’s “moral code” prevents him from doing so. Except for when he killed Harvey Dent to save Gordon’s kid. I guess Jimmy’s cumstain was more important than the lives of 12 million people who could have been easily saved had Batman not been a fucking PUSSY!

    Batman – I know the he’s against murder but considering the fucking scale and scope of the crisis on hand, you’d think he’d make an exception and start wasting motherfuckers when you take into account that Bane’s men have killed who knows how many fucking people not to mention threatened the lives of everyone in the entire city. The thing about war is that morality is a liability because the people who you seek to defeat might not have such high minded ideals about the sanctity of life and wouldn’t think twice about killing you. In this case Batman’s refusal to kill makes him look like a fucking idiot. It’s not heroic, it’s stupid. But at least in the end he didn’t actually have to “sacrifice” anything as he was able to sit at a table half way around the world without being recognized so that he could exchange a meaningful glance with Alfred, his trusty manservant who had been with him since birth and who Bruce had fired because he had burnt the letter Rachel had left for him which woudn’t have made any fucking difference. Really, if Wayne had read “Sorry Bruce but Harvey Dent’s got a huge cock and licks my dripping wet beaver real good like a child being given an icecream cone on a hot sunny day!” how would it have affected things? He’d still be a miserable little bitch boy billionaire as always. Oh and he didn’t seem to have a problem jumping into bed with Miranda the second that he found out that Rachel was a lying whore and wasn’t going to wait for him. True love my ASS!!!

    This terrible movie will sit in the dustbin of history with the other miserable examples of 3rd Times the Harm alongside X-Men 3, Blade 3 and Spider-man 3. I’m soo fucking pissed right now! That cocksucking limey fuck Nolan had four motherfucking years to make this movie and this was the best that asswipe could do? Too busy jerking off onto his IMAX cameras which should be shoved up his fucking asshole post haste! “IMAX this and IMAX that BLAH BLAH BLAH”, yeah, too bad you didn’t spend as much time working on the fucking script you overrated cunt! What’s clear throughout all of this is that fuckface was less interested in making a Batman movie as he was turning Batman into James Bond. We all know of Nolan’s fixation with Bond but unlike Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, where he managed to merge his interests together by brilliantly using the Batman mythos to convey theme’s and subtext, in the case of The Dark Knight Rises Nolan has not only shit the bed but flooded the whole fucking house with a river of diarrhea, loosening its foundation and sending it floating down the street over the edge of a fucking cliff!

    Suffice to say I didn’t like this movie.

    Except for the bitches as this is the first movie Nolan has made where he hasn’t cast a single fugly woman in any role.

    • Trek Girl

      I did not know one could write comments this long on this site.

    • Beer Baron

      Tell me how you really feel.

    • Craptard

      Admit it – you were just pissed there were no Val Kilmer-esque Bat-Nipples!

    • EricLr

      I haven’t liked any of the Batman movies. Not the Adam West one. Not the pretentious Tim Burton ones. Not the celeb-fest Joel Schumaker ones. Not the faux-gritty-but-really-paint-by-the-numbers-PG-13 Nolan ones. They were all shit.

      It’s hard to do a superhero movie that doesn’t make me laugh (unintentionally, unless it’s done as a comedy). I mean, they always end up in those silly costumes at the end of the day, don’t they? The Punisher was the only superhero who was even remotely realistic. IRL, Batman would end up dead, with a batarang shoved up his ass, the first time he came upon a criminal with a gun.

    • This reminds me: Fish, did you ever get back to Hashim on The Amazing Spider-Man?

  11. Isn’t the Lone Ranger just Batman with more cacti and dust? They should replace Robin with Tonto just to mix things up a bit.

  12. For the second time, it’s baking soda not powder.

    [img]http://wetheadmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/pictures/2009/03/Arm-Hammer-Baking-Soda.jpg[/img]

  13. I have no idea who this man is.

  14. Armie Hammer New Batman Zoe Saldana
    Commented on this photo:

    I am always waiting you movie

  15. Arm & hammer? What? Who is this person?

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