Child Hookers? Why Not? #VMAs

August 25th, 2014 // 9 Comments

The media would have you believe this is singer/actress Ariana Grande, but really it’s a sophisticated Pre-Crime tool used to weed out future pedophiles before they strike by prompting an easily collected database of Internet commenters who want to have sex with its butt. I’m just doing my part to protect the children even though I just burnt this entire operation to the ground. Wait. Let me start over.

Hey, everybody, this isn’t a police robot. You should talk about fucking it! (Nailed it.)

Photos: Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News

superficial

  1. JC

    She’s 21–we, the internet commenters, can have all the imaginary, sexy butt sex with her we want, and Chris Hansen can’t do nothin’ about it.

  2. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    blech
    Commented on this photo:

    creepy

  3. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you feel like someone’s watching you as you comment on this photo? Judging you as you tell the world the disgusting things you want to do to Ariana.

    That’s Chris Hansen. He’s standing right behind you. Don’t turn around! The moment you look eyes with him, you’ll have to “take a little seat over there” and it’s all over.

  4. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She really is a sexy little thing. My favourite kind of woman.

  5. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look at those boots.
    Want them.
    Should set up one of those crowdsourcing things “Help Cock Dr Manifest Her Inner Sparkle”.

  6. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I’ve figured it out. That’s her Grandma and that was her wedding dress. How sweet. The 40s really were a different time.

  7. She’s a very sexy baby

  8. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (boing boing boing boing)

    Ill just hop out of here

  9. PassingTrue

    Welcome to Nickelodeon’s newest femdom show featuring the funniest CBT ever!

  10. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just going to blame whoever this “Maraschino” guy is.

  11. She’s not a child, poor nutrition has just stunted her growth.

  12. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite the easy access dress – which I truly appreciate – she just doesn’t work for me. Looks disturbingly young.

  13. Hmm

    She has no boobs or ass still manages to come off very sexy and also still creep you out at the same time because she looks so young. Lots of mixed feelings.

  14. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Fairly certain I would…..two or three times

  15. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t feel bad one least bit. She’s 21. I have a lot on my mind now…

  16. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look. Ariana is posing with Keith Richards. He seems like such a nice fella.

  17. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    derp
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a 14 year old got into her Moms bondage gear

  18. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Mike Anger
    Commented on this photo:

    That “Tots with Tiaras” show is just sick.

  19. Marketing Mike

    Geez Fish, we didn’t even notice that she looks 12!
    She may be 21 but if you don’t think her handlers are
    doing everything in her power to make her look 12,
    your kidding yourself. Hell, she makes Miley look old.

  20. This is that woman who used to be an underage prostitute who serviced all those French soccer players, right? No? Am I close?

  21. Ariana Grande Legs Hooker Boots MTV VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Gloria Steinem always hits the VMA’s.
    “Best swag bag in Hollywood!!”

  22. zrfgh

    she’s 21 you retarded assholes :)

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