The media would have you believe this is singer/actress Ariana Grande, but really it’s a sophisticated Pre-Crime tool used to weed out future pedophiles before they strike by prompting an easily collected database of Internet commenters who want to have sex with its butt. I’m just doing my part to protect the children even though I just burnt this entire operation to the ground. Wait. Let me start over.
Hey, everybody, this isn’t a police robot. You should talk about fucking it! (Nailed it.)
Photos: Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News