Ariana Grande Has Rocket Titties Now

August 13th, 2014 // 32 Comments

I know very little about Ariana Grande except that she was on a Nickelodeon show with Jennette McCurdy before Jennette McCurdy’s sexy photos got everyone fired. But apparently Ariana is some sort of singer who now makes music videos where rockets shoot out of her tits whenever she’s not giving laser BJs or singing to penis-nosed aliens. Whatever get kids interested in space, I guess.

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  1. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing intentional here.

  2. I made it to 2 minutes on mute, which is coincidentally right after the firing of the rocket titties.

  3. JC

    Does she seriously say, “I only wanna die alive” at 0:46? I realize that, as an old(ish) dude, this music isn’t for me–I’m just supposed to buy it for my daughters and secretly fap to the video in the can at work–but that’s dumb even by dumb pop music standards.

  4. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the kids are into blowing Sith Lords these days.

  5. Cock Dr

    She’s very cute but this song fails even the “I could listen to it on the treadmill” test, & my standards for bouncy beat workout music are very very low.

  6. She really does have an uncanny resemblance to those Steve Madden bobbleheads.

  7. As much as I enjoyed a pretty girl doing her best Barberella, I just can’t get past the fact that this is just bad.

    • It seems like all of these erstwhile Disney vixens, and other singers of their ilk, all sound alike. There’s probably one girl who records the singing for all of them in exchange for gold and sexual favors.

  8. Not nearly as catchy as “Problem”. The hook from that song made me like it immediately.

  9. Short Round

    Made it to 2:13. I was already laughing at the opening title crawl but by 2 minutes my face – without me realizing – morphed into a shocked and horrified expression. Is the stupification of America’s youth intentional? Because then Disney is the devil.

  10. I wish those rockets had flown into my ears.

  11. Marketing Mike

    There is so much auto-tune on this track, literally any female under the
    age of 25 could have sampled the words in this tune. She’s cute,
    and she can actually sing (a little) but this is pretty crappy, even
    for her.

  12. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right folks, my peener is tiny and glows neon pink. But hey, it’s doing what god intended…

  13. Swearin

    Well, that was terrible. I get they were going for a retro B-movie sci-fi look but they went overboard. This girl is cute and all and she’s got some pipes but not much else, and she’s following Mariah Carey’s playbook so closely it’s rediculous, right down to dating the rapper/producer early in her career.

    Side note; does every noticeable sci-fi project require a young, hot Latina now, or just Zoe Saldana?

  14. Hmm

    She is a sexy little thing and she is half-naked throughout most of the video, so I will allow forgive this terrible video.

  15. anonymous

    It’s like watching Mariah Carey v2.0 even with all the stupid hand movements and constantly touching her jawline.

    She is cute though….

  16. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    As a humanitarian gesture, Ariana’s giving head to everyone working at the Fukushima reactor.

  17. Marketing Mike

    Why did they take a beautiful Latina with creamy dark skin,
    a hard body and sexy legs/feet, then put her in a $5 pair of
    nude pantyhose in the float scenes? Were they that concerned
    we’d see a beaver shot? I’d rather see a bare bottom and a
    nice G string, than my Grandmother’s pantyhose.

    • Hmm

      She is full blooded, 100% Italian, not Latina.

      • Marketing Mike

        You are right! I was confused because she recently sang
        at a Hispanic Achievement award of some sort, and they
        were commenting on how well she represented Latinas.
        Funny, she never said a word about being Italian…

  18. Miley Cyrusis aslut

    Ari seems to be experience Katy Perry Envy with this latest video. She should stick singing and forget all the silliness and theatrics, or she could become the next Lady Gag, me!

  19. I never thought rocket titties could be boring… but they were… they were so boring.

  20. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Suck it.

  21. tlmck

    I do not care for her music, but her latest album cover is interesting.

  22. listening to this ‘music’, one could imagine what goes through a dog’s mind when firecrackers go off….

  23. She doesn’t even have regular titties.

  24. Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. That had to hurt.

  25. She sure is a sexy little thing. I wonder if we’ll ever get to see what she’s got going on under her leotards…

  26. Juano

    Apparently, the production team watched Barbarella the night before they shot this. However, Jane Fonda was an awful lot hotter looking that this girl, even with the teaser stuff with the “light saber.”

  27. Ok so at the end of the video when she snatches the Kabbalah tree of life medallion from the molester dude to make her escape is it symbolism that Kabbalah is evil or that it is her salvation? Or does it mean that the Illuminati is winning the war between it David Icke’s green lizards, Obama’s antichrist minions and the federal reserve? Its confusing but I think this what they want, they want us confused. FREE YO MIND!!!

  28. anonym

    she looks like a mix of pornstar and JLO.

    That’s why she’s got a record contract

  29. Fencho

    Mmmm, the song is boring. The video looks super cheap and she kept doing the same thing with her hand the whole video! I think she is pretty but as Mariah Carey in some scenes she looks weird trying to look sexy. She really needs to find her identity as an artist. Her good girl image seems a little fake.

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