May 09, 2006
Brooke Burke and Burger King dude break up
I'm not sure if this counts as celebrity gossip since it's fake and one of the people involved is a fictional character, but Brooke Burke and the Burger King dude have split up. If a former model and giant-headed hamburger spokesman can't make it in this crazy world of ours then what hope do the rest of us have?
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» Jessica Simpson goes red
Comments
1. Posted by TheHappyRobot on May 9, 2006 08:49 AM
FIRST!?
2. Posted by Celeb_Hater on May 9, 2006 08:51 AM
Again??
3. Posted by Celeb_Hater on May 9, 2006 08:51 AM
oh you happy robot you
but who could stay with a man whose soul goal was to make them fat?
4. Posted by CruisingForCock on May 9, 2006 09:08 AM
I've been waiting for this to happen. He promised me he would leave her months ago. Now he is all mine.
5. Posted by sweetcheeks on May 9, 2006 09:09 AM
What's with the Sally Jesse's there, Brooke?
YIKES.
6. Posted by ziggurat on May 9, 2006 09:10 AM
The Burger King dude was my personal hero. At first it was just for creeping people out. Then dating Brooke Burke put him over the top. Now I don't know what to think.
7. Posted by BarbadoSlim on May 9, 2006 09:11 AM
I would like to take this opportunity to get something off my chest. WHO IN THE HELL, told this "personalities" from the E basic cable channel, that they were ever celebrities!?!?!?
These bitch here and that other Juliana Dipandi(or whatever)skank take themselves way, waaay, waaay too seriously.
they make me sick.
8. Posted by SuperSpence on May 9, 2006 09:19 AM
YEAH, BABY!
I guess this means Brooke is back on the market. Trading up from Burger King to SuperSpence is like going from the outhouse to the penthouse. Step up to the plate and sample a real plate of hot beef, baby!
[Translation: I hope to have frequent and regular sexual intercourse with Brooke Burke.]
9. Posted by JollyJumjuck on May 9, 2006 09:23 AM
She probably dumped him for Ronald McDonald. Because Ronald has big shoes. And you know what they say about guys with big shoes.
10. Posted by Binky on May 9, 2006 09:23 AM
This is sad. Where's the beef ?
11. Posted by BarbadoSlim on May 9, 2006 09:24 AM
It must a bitch to find flatttering asbestos underwear Spence...:)
12. Posted by Trotter on May 9, 2006 09:26 AM
I heard its because he gets special sauce all over her sesame seed buns. And she really just wants mayo between those all beef patties.
13. Posted by Lala on May 9, 2006 09:34 AM
Brooke is holding out for Ronald McDonald, after Jessica's done with him. I'm telling you - he's the man. He's got a posse - you know, the Fry Guys and Grimace and that crew. Burger King does not. Case closed.
14. Posted by SuperSpence on May 9, 2006 09:36 AM
#11 BarbadoSlim wrote: It must a bitch to find flatttering asbestos underwear Spence...:)
REPLY: Underwear?
15. Posted by Dr.Rokter on May 9, 2006 09:43 AM
Insiders claim difficulties arose in the "BurkerKing" relationship when Burger King, a Higher Thetan in the Church of Scientology, argued with Burke (telepathically) that he didn't need spoken words to communicate. Burke has since claimed, "I really didn't know what the fuck he was trying to say. I didn't hear anything. He'd just stare at me for hours, and then go through my stuff." Through a spokesman, Burger King has claimed Burke's accusations to be, "rumor and innuendo" and that he was, "like so many Scientologists, being treated like a Jew under the Third Reich."
16. Posted by Pearly on May 9, 2006 09:52 AM
#15 that is hysterical. Damn.
17. Posted by Lou on May 9, 2006 09:54 AM
I wonder if this has anything to do with him always waking up in construction workers' beds. They are damn hard to resist though. Rough hands, tanned skin they way they fuck you like a jackhammer.....
18. Posted by aimatcha on May 9, 2006 09:55 AM
Where has she been? The Burger King sleeps with dudes. There are better things to be in life than a "beard". Although he IS royalty....I guess even I'd be tempted.
19. Posted by Jacq on May 9, 2006 09:57 AM
Wait, the guy's a King and he can't talk? She's a crazy bitch to leave that one. Prolly, cause it'd hurt to give birth to a prince with that huge, hard plastic head.
20. Posted by eatmyass_sherry-co on May 9, 2006 10:03 AM
TCTLC
21. Posted by Lou on May 9, 2006 10:05 AM
# 17
Upon re-reading my last post I see numerous grammatical errors. But those damn construction workers get me so turned on.
22. Posted by Grphdesi23 on May 9, 2006 10:07 AM
What does her milkshake bring to the lawn?
23. Posted by sharkbite on May 9, 2006 10:16 AM
Aww, there goes his Burger King Queen.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
24. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 9, 2006 10:18 AM
Because of her love for big, plastic headed fast-food icons, rumor has it she let the Jack In The Box guy finger-fuck her in the restroom. True story.
25. Posted by St.Minutia on May 9, 2006 10:29 AM
#3 Celeb_Hater
fat people = Burger King's soul goal AND sole goal.
26. Posted by Trotter on May 9, 2006 10:31 AM
@24
What about that rumor that she's been playing punch the patty with the Hamburgler?
27. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 9, 2006 10:44 AM
I don't doubt it Trotter. She's a whore.
28. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 9, 2006 10:51 AM
I once had a foursome with the McNuggets.....Taste like chicken....Why only four you ask? I was with Michael Jackson and it was a kid's meal...........
29. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on May 9, 2006 11:11 AM
I heard she let Dairy Queen give her a strawberry milkshake... FROM THE BACK!
30. Posted by BigJim on May 9, 2006 11:17 AM
I bet if I shoved him in the water that big ol' head would drag him down like an anchor. I would forever be known as the guy who drowned the burger king dude. That would be cool.
Oh, and then I'd fuck Brooke.
31. Posted by Iambananas on May 9, 2006 11:25 AM
This site has gotten stupid.
32. Posted by Fisher55 on May 9, 2006 11:40 AM
31, LOL
33. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on May 9, 2006 11:40 AM
And in keeping with stupid food related quips:
I guess the Whopper just isn't doing it for her.
34. Posted by ZiNgEr_24 on May 9, 2006 11:44 AM
u know what they say,
the best part of waking up...
is having a giant plastic king hand you some effin'breakfast!
Now thats love!
35. Posted by edb87 on May 9, 2006 11:56 AM
#9 - Hillarious.
I'm the only person I know that loves/isn't totally freaked out by BK. I like him better than Ronald and that piss-poor excuse for a mascot, the Hardees star. I mean, he beats construction workers with pillows. That's awesome.
36. Posted by SuperG on May 9, 2006 12:03 PM
#28...Fucking F U N N Y!
37. Posted by ImCurly on May 9, 2006 12:14 PM
Now there is a fun guy ... either he' a joy to be around or she is having a birthday party for her kids ... lmao! I need a guy like that ... A new adventure every day and a yacht !
38. Posted by Shelley Bonnechance on May 9, 2006 04:33 PM
That Burger King with the giant smiling head freaks me the hell out. The commerical where the guy puts up his window blind and the Burger King is standing right outside...geez, that is just a very special kind of wrong.
39. Posted by Fa Cube Itches on May 9, 2006 06:06 PM
24: Your account of the bathroom encounter between Brooke Burke and Mr. Box is basically correct but for one detail. It wasn't a finger bang, it was a "nose job".