May 05, 2006

Tom Cruise is a dancing maniac

As part of his Mission: Impossible 3 publicity tour, Tom Cruise made an appearance on BET's 106 and Park and was encouraged to dance on stage. Nothing I say can prepare your mind for what you're about to witness. Just make sure to brace yourself, because the awesomeness of this clip has been known to physically knock people off their feat.


Previous Entries

» Mary-Kate Olsen is scared of Lindsay Lohan
» Playmate of the Year was a Disney princess
» Denise Richards is spiteful
» Katie Holmes buffs up
» Britney Spears getting married for a third time

Comments

first!

I need $19 to buy "The Gift" on DVD so I can see Katie Holmes before Tom ruined her. Can someone go to my blog & click on "Please give me money" & send me $19? Thanks!
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Is that TC reinacting how he rides a sybian?? Wait, my bad - he's demonstrating how he rides a cock. Either way... dude is lovin hairy balls.

I danced a bit like that once, but I was stuck in cement.

could he BE any gayer? OMFG. poor kate.

it could have been worse. at least he kept the beat.

Well, I'm confused, the boy loves the cock but he dances like a straight man.

Totally lame. The guy's foot never even left the ground.
He looked like he knew he was lame but those idiots still kept enouraging his lameness.

Is he mimicking riding a motorcycle, or having a penis in each hand?

He is not even dancing, JUST SOME ACKWARD STIFF SEIZURE. You know what, maybe the cock from last night left his ass hurting. LOL

another nail in the coffin for white people everywhere.

oh and its so obvious, tom cruise loves "da" cock. word

He should have done the Risky Business underwear dance. Remember when he used to be cool?

That was actually painful to watch. It also completely contradicts everything I've assumed about Tom Cruise. Yeah, he's white, but he's also gay, right? Shouldn't a gay guy be able to dance better than that? Or does Scientology frown on dancing?

Gay = Good dancer
Tom Cruise = Bad dancer

What are we to think?

its even better to watch the vid w/o the sound.

Knock people off their "feat?" What the hell? Is lamebabananas running this site now? This place just doesn't blow my skirt up anymore.
Plus, I can't see the full-body dry heave from my computer here. Dammit.

Wow, talk about the most akward mover. This is just futher evidence that Tom is in no way shape or form a top. He loves to get his rosebud plwed which is eveident by the bending of the knees throughout the whole clip.

i hate him more everyday. what is his problem? doesn't he know how annoying he is?

Tom Cruise's next big movie!

"Boogie Nights II-Put Your Boogie In My Butt!"

I feel visually abused. I've seen epileptics with smoother moves.

yeah, i just watched it again to be sure. except for this corny ass roll his head made near the end, his dancing was not that bad. I mean, he is a middle aged white man dancing to hip hop, for crying out loud. I'm not saying he doesn't LTC, I'm just being real.

My God, have we been wrong all along? Is it possible? No gay dude I've ever seen is that lame a dancer. Only straight white boys "dance" like that.

TC has lost all control of himself and doesnt realize how pathetic he has become, he is so oblivious to the fact that the hosts are laughing at him and not with him, he just keeps on.

At least they got the Maniac part right......

He really should be on "Dancing with the Stars", the fag version of course......

I'm not sure who, but someone is definitely getting sued for the money to pay for the eyeball transplant that I now so desperately need.

The clip neglected to show the audience laughing themselves into a coma immediately following the performance. Pity.

When "keeping it real" goes wrong.........

Wow...I'm embarrassed for him

he looks like he has parkinson's, boy has NO rhythm!

I just spoke with Denny Terrio (of Dance Fever fame). His theory? A 14 inch zucchini shoved up TC's ass backstage by his assistant.

what a weiner.
tcltc

Okay, there's no way he is a homosexual. Gay men know how to shake that ass. Well, maybe he's just not a fun homosexual.

This is one of those instances where you are embarrassed for the person, because they exhibit no shame for themselves. Poor Katie is probably watching at home (in the basement dungeon), hiding her face behind a pillow.

Why do the first comments have to be spam and "first"...the fags that have to comment.

@14

True dat.

Man, that was some funny shit. Since I watched it with the sound off, I just kept imagining him going "Uh uh uh uh" and "Yeeeaaahhhhh". I think Elaine from Seinfeld had better moves.

thats funny cause i think this makes him look gayer than ever. like a gay middle aged white man.

gay gay gay gay gay!

Maybe he is finally showing his acting prowess (as claimed by lambananas) by PRETENDING he can't dance, because if he did tear it up, it would be final confirmation that he is gay.

Someone's been hanging out with Jamie Foxx again! LMAO!!!! I love it! I'm black & I don't think he did that bad for a white man with zero hip-hop dancing experience.


#8 - he was bouncing to crunk music. your feet don't have to leave the ground to do that. Most of the movement is in your legs and arms. Check out Laurence Fishburne and the audience members.


#20 - I agree. I have seen white folks dance A LOT worse than that. Not to mention, he had better rhythm than Ving Rhames and Ving is black! LOL!!!

#6

yeah but the beat he kept was not the actual beat he was listening to

stay on that downwards spiral Tom, its SO amusing to watch

I agree with #10: it must have been the cocks from the previous evening that prevented him from flaming out on the disco inferno. They really irritate the hemorrhoids and fissures in that gaping hole he calls an anus.

Tom Cruise finally did something in public that I like: He makes me look like I'm no longer the worst dancer in the world.

hi #36. I'm black too.

I try to hate the guy, and the he pulls off something cute like that.

TCLTC

Would someone get that dork a different pair of sunglasses? Those are hideous.

oh god, that was a waste of a few seconds of my life...

Well, his dancing abilities are not going to change the fact he does love to gobble cock.

*True story*
I contracted a flu like illness the other day so I took some Nyquil to alleviate my symptoms while I slept. Nyquil makes me loopy and I often talk in my sleep when I am on it. Usually I will say something about my dream or whatever. My husband woke me up to take more Nyquil. I sat straight up in bed and announced, "Tom Cruise loves the cock!"
My husband laughed for thirty minutes and was sure to tell me first thing in the morning what I told him during the night.

You know, people only tell the truth through their subconscious. Therefore, it is 100% true.

I'm not black, but I love me some watermelon.......


Did Tom look any more ridiculous than the guy doing that stupid move with his hat? What was that about? "Look at me dip my hat to the beat...unh...unh...my hat..."

oo. i feel embarassed FOR him. but hey at least he can hide behind dem big ass aviators.

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA - someone get him some epilim to control that seizure thats goin on...

OKAY, folks: speaking from experience, gay men are good dancers NOT because there's some kind of gay dancing gene, but because we spend a lot of time in clubs because that's where the sex and good *drugs* are...by default we end up knowing how to dance. TC, in the closet, has not yet been exposed... and this is why TCLT--yet can't dance for shit.

#48 - at last, a sensible theory. Thank you.

He's got all that practice dancing at The Mine Shaft club.

Nobody puts Tom Cruise in the corner.

I just spoke to my 86 year old grandmother and she said, "If I see that freak Tom Cruise on one more show today, I might shoot out the TV"!

She said he was on The View for an entire hour.... OMG, we should use that as a torture method for captured terrorists.

BOYCOTT MI3!!

*oops--tcltC, I mean*

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes arrived at the hospital, but the hospital was full. The Director of Nurses looked the modest couple up and down. She told Tom that she was sorry but the hospital was crowded from cellar to roof.
There was no room in the hospital.
Tom's heart was heavy. With Katie he drove down the streets of Los Angeles, visiting all the hospitals. Everywhere the answer was the same. The hospital was crowded; there was no room.
Tom and Katie feel no bitterness nor do they complain. They not only do no blame to those who refuse them help, they are sorry for having importuned them.
Finally, a nurse tells them where they can find a kind of shelter. There is a veterinery clinic where animals are often treated and has served now and again as a refuge for wanderers. Driven by extremity, they go to find the vet clinic.
It was indeed a miserable lodging, dark, airless, reeking of animal smells. The clinic was littered with refuse and old straw.
Tom accused himself to L. Ron and Katie for his lack of foresight. But Katie was unperturbed; she tried to comfort him, to console him.
Katie assured Tom that these humiliations were the mysterious workings of L. Ron Hubbard's divine Providence.
Miraculously, without loss of her virginity, Katie had brought their child into our world. Katie turned to Tom and smiled. She lifted the tiny baby and held it in her arms. Then fearing her unworthiness, sensing her awkwardness, she gave the baby to Tom. All through the night, they kept watch over the Son of Ron.

#52, FUNNIEST I'VE READ IN DAYS

@55: Am I missing something or what? That was a lot of fucking words.

#52 - My love for your grows with each post.

Anybody knows the music thats playing in the background ?!

#55 - you lost me at Tom.

I'm going to study that dance and do it tonight. I gotta get down that "vroom vroom" motorcycle thing down.

#52 - Thank you! One of my favorite movie lines ever! That was hilarious.

Is it Tom Cruise week again? How many Tom Cruise weeks are too many in a single month: aw you know the answer.

If anyone had the patience to read all that, #55, then God bless them.

I think I'm going to pop some phenergan and ambien and party on capitol hill this weekend. What's everyone elses plans?

So, last night I saw MI:3, and I must say it is fantastic! So, opening the superficial right when you wake up and seeing this video makes me realize that believing in scientology may save you from almost getting hit from a gasoline big rig, but it doesn't offer you any luck in the dancing department. I would pay money to see the wedding reception with that talent!

The dancing is probably the LEAST wacky thing he has done in a long time. I've designed a shirt thats somewhat of a tribute to crazy Tom:
http://4strokeshirts.com/shirt.php?shirt=14

Tom Cruise. Kevin Federline. In a dance-off.

WHO WINS?

At least this time hes wearing more than socks, boxers, white tee, and a broom.

Another "not gay" point. Gay men generally can dress themselves in something fashionable. This whole Jewish mobster look is not even close to stylish.

I wonder if the Tom Cruise look-a-likes run around in big stupid sunglasses too.

#66: My only question, why is Oprah white?

Is there anything the man can't do? Action films, Dramas, embarassing public displays of affection/dancing, maintaining a heterosexual front to conceal his raging homosexuality. Cruise, without fail or doubt, is the Rock Hudson of our generation. All he is lacking is Andy Dick to be his Jim Nabors.

All the Wrong Moves

Everyday, in some small way, Tom Cruise proves what a tool he is.
Can anyone say "midlife crisis"?
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

We dont know the history of Crunk dancing. Tom does.

He dances like a big baby.

TCLTC

Did someone glue his shoes to the floor?

Those horrible sunglasses seem to be glued on, too.

Ok I can solve this.

Gay = good Dancer

Neurotic Closet Case = Bad dancer.

Everybody feel better? I bet those big glasses are to hide the massive crows feet.

First!

omg I'm scarred for life..the horror..the horror..I'd rather watch Mariah Carey's beaver..shit dude, someone needs to put TCLTC out of his misery SHIT!

WHAT A FUCKIN IDIOT...he needs to eat glass

#64 - Apparently you can do that here and not get into trouble.

we need a new story FAST! Looking at Tomcat dancing is making me want to jump out of my skin!

we need a new story FAST! Looking at Tomcat dancing is making me want to jump out of my skin!

We are all a bunch of GLIB motherfuckers!!!

is that kate? she's looking pretty fit for someone who just had a baby ..

Rule #1, White men can't jump
Rule #2, White men can't dance either...

Exception he ain't gay, which would negate rule #2.

Take those damn glasses off!!!

Need to make rule #3.
White men should not wear Isaac Hayes glasses.

TOM CURISE ALLOWS KATIE HOLMES OUT OF THE HOUSE..

If interested here she is at the MI:3 premiere last evening:

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2006/05/05/kate-holmes-attended-mi3-la-premiere-with-tom-cruise/

#44 Diana, you are the Queen for the Day!
I laughed so loud that if anyone was around I'd be under arrest for being a crazy man.

Respeck.

Pix of Katie & Tom @ the LA premiere are up on Yahoo/Reuters:

http://news.search.yahoo.com/search/news?ei=UTF-8&p=katie+holmes&c=&fr=&c=news_photos

Wow, she looks so different...

I can't help but be reminded of the scene in "There's Something About Mary" when the stalker with the crutches wobbles around trying to bend over and pick up the keys he dropped. Except that was less painful to watch.

That was all too funny. I won't "hate" on "The Cruiser"...He actually stayed on beat, and looked comfortable bouncing.

Tom Cruise try-out performance for pole dancing at the bunny ranch


be afraid...be very afraid

he looks so mind-numbingly stupid doing this that i couldn't even laugh. it was so bad it reached the not funny point for me. is there something wrong with me that i can't find the retarded stuff he does funny anymore? should i go see a doctor?

Guys, gay retards are people too. Look how much fun he's having.

Katie/Kate/Fembot/Hostage Girl looks just like Catherine McPhee from American Idol in those pics. Maybe Tom contracted w/McPhee to stand in for Katie/Kate while she was locked in the Scientology dungeon?

Tom Cruise can't dance! A middle aged white man can't dance!
Who here is surprised?
No, really, who?
Large sized teen & JustLikeHoney1, you seriously don't think that was embarrassing? Or are you just being kind?
Chris Brown can dance, Tom Cruise cannot!

#88: I hadn't realized Tom had hooked up with Valerie Bertonelli.

#86 - Jesus, the sham pregnancy is over! Take off the prosthesis. She could have emerged the next day with a flat belly and Tom would've acted like WE'RE the crazy ones for questioning it. Thanks for the pics, I hadn't found any yet.
Her stylist should be fucking shot. I cut better bangs on my Barbies when I was 5. The falling straps, the white shoes - barf, barf, barf.

#94 - I know that dungeon exists! I just don't have any real proof yet - well, I do if you count Sherry.

#97 Isnt she FAT? Now we know why Tom hired BUFF BRIDES. Good lord, she must have put on 20 lbs just to fool everyone she really was preggers..all part of the elaborate scheme of TCLTC world

the fact that Tom Cruise was on 106 and Park promoting MI3 speaks volumes on how much it is going to completely SUCK.

huh?? Megan that doesn't even remotely make sense.

Go white boy, go white boy, go!!!!!
He's a dancin machine! And pretty fly for a white guy!

#96--Thank you! I kept trying to remember her name. I was thinking the exact same thing. Either Valerie Bertonelli or Peg Bundy.

OH HELL! I laughed so hard I'm gonna get fired. What a clown. If he's gonna be gay he needs to learn how to dance.

uh, newsflash. 106 and park is a BAD hiphop show. why would the cast be therE? hey why not just go to the local Red Lobster and have Tom Cruise hand out free passes. It's a low budget show.

I just can't decide if this is funny, scary or just sad? I cant get the image of him 'dancing' out of my head. I know what will do it...naked david hasselhoff with puppies:
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/05/yet_more_scient.html

@105

This should do the trick.

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Image:Subincision-1.jpg

NSFW

@104
Like - Oh my God!
Like - I can't believe you even watch that show megan!

Finally, someone dances way, way worse than me. Happy Cinco De Mayo, mutherfuckers!
El sabor de gente blanco esta la misma el pollo.
pinky_nip, I am going to load up on tequila, coke and a candy flip and get WEIRD in mid-MO.

Valerie Bertinelli? Katie looks more like this:

http://webpages.csus.edu/~sac46084/halen%20cover%20pic.jpg

mamacita;

hey babe, the s&m the other night was fun and all, but I thought we agreed to keep those pics private. You don't see me posting pics of me jackhammering you with a pinecone, do ya? Oh, did you ever get all those staples out of your ass, I'm still waiting for the last marble to finally show up!

Well, that was disappointing. I was expecting a lot more, like a pirouette, or at least a demi-pliιs.. something!

#40 - hey there....err, I mean what up yo! ;0}

#46 - that was Ving Rhames that I mentioned in my last post! LMAO!!!! He definitely needs to purchase some rhythm.

#95 - wasn't embarassing for me cus I can dance :D Tom's certainly isn't the worst attempt at dancing that I've ever seen a white boy do.

pinky_nip - #70 & #96: hillarious! LOL!!!
To answer your question, I'm off to Chipotle for good food & cheap, yet potent, margaritas. It's liquid lunch time here in Cali. Ole!

#106

I kill you slowly.

It is obvious they must have had a stand-in for when he did his dancing number in "Risky Business" this white man has no rhythm and clearly looks like a retard dancing by himself at a wedding after one too many.

TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK!

TCLTC, and is also the whitest man on Earth, judging by that performance.

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=20047596&postID=114548205257233959

About 2/3 down

Disturbing because:
a) Megan puts a random blog attached to her name
b) She thinks we are her friends.

You decide

TCLTC

The reason his feet weren't moving is because he was worried his butt plug would fall out.

MeganHarris said...
My "The Superficial" friends think I write this blog, because I link it with my name when I post comments there.

5:41 AM

In your dreams you dumb ugly pastey cunt......Go suck on a muffler.....

Mad props to #64! I just got it like 10 minutes ago. Hilarious Kennedy reference! Mad props!!!

#116 Too damn funny...Megan Harries truly believes we are all her friends at "superficial"

Anyone here ever have a date with Megan Harris & if so, is she as "pretty" as she is in her photo? Or is that photo done as at "glamour shots" and thats the best it gets?

Ving Rhames looks just as faggy as Tom Cruise does when they were both dancing together.

Everyone close your eyes, imagine naked Tom Cruise on all 4's and big bad naked Ving Rhames kneeling behind him...the rest will be left to your imagination as I think I will vomit should I have to spell it out.

Tom still needs to finish the last six weeks at the "Arthur Murray School of Dance" before he can truly be pimp-tastic. Oh, and maybe scraping the crazy glue off the bottom of his shoes might help too.....

It doesn't look so much like a human man trying to dance, but like a space alien trying to emerge from its human cocoon. That would kind of explain the Oprah thing too. Kind of.

106 - Dammit Mama! I hate seeing the NSFW links at work! I know I want to look and I know I will be repulsed and intrigued - especially if it's you or Trotter.

He is the dancing queen
Young and sweet
Sucking on the peen
Oh yeah
He can't dance
He can't jive
Having the laugh of your life
Oooh
See that queer
Watch me heave
He is the dancing queen...

We so rarely get to see him standing next to actual humans. He really is very tiny, isn't he?


Plus he loves the cock.

"Maverick, are....are you a GOOD pilot?"

"Yes...."

"Good, then I won't worry about you making your living as a dancer."

For all of you illiterates who can't read #55, it's an intresting read of a copy-paste job.

@46-

That was truly the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read. I have been sitting here for the last half hour laughing like a Down Syndrome kid. You have truly made my day....SOM

#66-SOLD!

Charlaurz, thanks. Now I have to remove my eyes and scrub them with bleach. Ack! David Hasslehof nakie. Gross.

I WAS THERE!!!! I dind't get an autograph or anything and didn't reall meat Tom Cruise, but I saw him from a far distance!!! Lol, I saw MI3 Last night, too... The bomb in the brain thing and the masks were awesome!

really meet* Oops, I was so excited I did a few typos!

Never ceases to amaze me when women who have just given birth are out and about, without their baby, for one thing, and second, she's probably still bleeding like a stuck pig.. Gross, but true... What is with these bitches?

Man, it doesn't get any whiter than that.

Thomas adores all things phallic.

I was like a 45 min drive fro em, I live really close (here in So Cal) and it was SO worth it! MI3 was great... he's really a good actor. I also liked WOTW, too.

I still think this is a real pic of his baby.
http://www.starkedny.com/archives/we-build-our-ego-suri-holruise

And now I want my money from the National Enq.

Am bad with links, but you should be able to access a recent story, and can feast your eyes on T.C. revelling with NY's finest and bravest laddies on a firetruck. Never thought I'd say this, but, Tom loves da cock....

http://www.hellomagazine.com/film/2006/05/04/tomcruise/

Does the guy who types all the stuff for the superficial have like an office and gets paid, or is it like a blog???

um, thats the dance that goes with that song guys

#104 how the hell would you know? at one point 106 and Park had more viewers than TRL

uuuuhhhm "lambananas" have you not caught on to the fact that this IS NOT a pro tom cruise site? You should probably take your "cute " pictures elsewhere

I got a feevuh! And the only prescription is more cowbell!...and Tom looking like a douchebag!

Tom loves the peter.

Black people are cold....
I hate Tom as much as the next person, but dang 106 knows how to dog a person out.

rofl at #13

again, the dance that Tom goes along with the song. I think they were laughing because he knew it, not because of how he was doing it.

physically knock them off their feat? Really?

I didn't know it was possible to knock someone off their feat.

Of course Tom can't dance. He's used to having his feet up in the air when there's a big black guy around.

Tom Cruise makes 'em* say "Uuuuggghhhh! Nuh Na Nuh Na!"

*'em = Frequenters of bathhouses and/or anyone below OT 5.

TCLTC!

just one word: STIFF

...the petite Kanye wannabe.... wha?!?!?

"physically knock them off their feat? Really?

I didn't know it was possible to knock someone off their feat. "

Not when you're dancing while stuck onto the ground, dumbass.

Tom Cruise is the biggest fag I've ever seen. He even dances like one.

Someone should have pulled out a gun and shot him.

TCLTC.

I AM REPORTING ALL LIBTARD POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THIS MEANS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This used to be a site where everyone posted comments on celebrities... that was fun, and that's how it started. I posted that I didn't hate Tom Cruise and I'm not a freak to wish someone dead that I don't even know.

So, lets go back to just commenting on celebs and not on fellow posters behind the anonymity of a screen name. I don't understand saying something personal about a screen name... it's that dumbest thing in the whole world.

Just released photo of Sweatsens8tion!!!!

http://www.uglypeople.com/uploaded/6/ugly203.jpg

See, it really doesnt make a logical person out of a dumb one, now does it?


Now you see what I'm talking about, so take my advice and really try to act like a member of society and not like a bratty little annoying thing.

And, P.S. My Screen name is I_AM_BANANAS... like the letter I (eye)... and it's not my fault you don't know the difference. Ever heard the Gwen song? I am bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

Don't hate, appreciate.

@154

Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?

I don't care what anyone says. That is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

That was awful. There's something nauseating about watching someone's escalating public breakdown, no matter if he is a giant twit. Did anyone hear the announcer call him 'UNCLE TOM Cruise'?

I gotta be honest with you all.

1) He's worth millions of dollars.
2) He has a pretty hot wife and a new baby that he probably adores.
3) He's a kickass A-Movie actor who makes more money in a day then most of us make in seventeen of our lifetimes.

If I were in his shoes I'd be fucking crazy in public all the time, and I would never give a shit. It's all right for Robin Williams or Jim Carrey to act insane all the time, but Cruise does it and people look at him funny. He's loving life and not giving a shit what other people say about him. More power to him.

Except for the scientology thing. That is just fucking retarded.

I dunno, people have gotten pretty sick of Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, too.

And, just to get it on the right thread....

Welcome to the Karaoke Network (aka ESPN 6)... we now go live to Celebrity Karaoke Round Up with tonight's guest, Tom Cruise!!!!!

Tom: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you gonna take me home tonight?
Impaaaaaaaale me with that big flashlight
Aaaaaaaaaare you gonna let your starfish out?
Tight bottom dudes, you make my rockin' world go round!

Hey, you are a cute lil' lad.
And I surely want you bad
Cuz' I knew life before I left my nursery huh!
Left alone with well-hung Danny
Who stuck it in my fanny
Red hot fella made a gay boy outta me!

Hey-hey woo!

I been shillin' for L. Ron
From dusk until the dawn
An I blew every blue-eyed hustler on the way
With my rough-trade kinda style
They all prolapsed after a while
Give me them tight tight starfish everytime!

C'mon!
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?
Impale me with your flashlight?
And then take all I've got?
Tight bottom dudes, you make my rockin' world go round!"

Announcer: "Uh, we ... uh, seem to be experiencing 'technical difficulties' at the moment. We, uh, will return to Celebrity Karaoke Round Up in just a few moments. *vomits*"

#139 lameass thinks his pic of TC on his motorcycle is "cute"

awwwwwwwww isnt that special...

But wait,I'm confused, I didn't know that men complimented other men with the word "cute".. at least not straight men..

hmmm...anyways..if anyones interested here is a photo of lameass


http://www.derekhail.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/05/5-5-2006%20-%20unsexy%20header.jpg

#160..bored on your Friday night huh?

160 Classic

Sweets-

Sorta, yeah. Stuck at office waiting on some documents to be delivered. Would rather be anywhere else.

Who cares about the Scientology, crazy habit of jumping on couches, and being an absolute cock...It's when he releases dance moves like that on the world we should be worried. And this man has helped to increase the world's population...

#154

you dont seem very "bananas"....maybe Iambland would be a more appropriate name. Anyway check this site out, it is right up your street: www.allthingscuddly.com

like watchin a car crash..

I wish I could be as cool as Tom Cruise.

At least eating some baby's placenta is less embarassing...

Attention-whore-cock-lover bastard!!!!

OH....MY.....GOD....I ALMOST felt sorry for him there for a second.

i don't think he wanted to dance in the first place lol.

We got served.

Will you ask Jesus Christ to be your Savior and Lord today to receive God’s forgiveness of all sin, become a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven and gain eternal life, escape hell, receive deliverance from every curse and spiritual oppression, and receive healing from sickness & disease? Then start your new born-again life by finding a Bible-believing church, be water baptised, pray for Holy Spirit baptism & receive Him to be your comforter and helper, and read the Holy Bible every day to feed your spirit with His Word.

† † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †

ok i am just going to be the first one to say this WTF edna im pretty sure that we are not here to learn how to be god fearing citizens thats why they have things called CHURCHES its where you go to worship god you know. not on a site that is all about the bashing and not about the praying but i do pray for you i pray that your internet provider thinks your the craziest chick around and cuts your internet off or even better, the cops comming and arresting you for well basically anything that will keep you confined without a computer to keep posting this bull sh*t on please do us all a favor and go away all though the posts on you are pretty funny

EVERYBODY KEEPS SAYING THAT TC "LOVES THE COCK", BUT NOBODY EVER PRESENTS ANY SOLID PROOF. DON'T YOU THINK THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE "COCKS" HE LOVES WOULD "OUT HIM" VIA THE TRASHY TABLOIDS? I'M JUST SAYIN'. BY THE WAY, HIS DANCING WASN'T BAD. AFTER ALL, HE DID MANAGE TO KEEP UP WITH THE BEAT, AND HE ALSO INCLUDED HIP HOP STYLE MINI-DIP. DO YO' THANG TOM!!!!!!!!

EVERYBODY KEEPS SAYING THAT TC "LOVES THE COCK", BUT NOBODY EVER PRESENTS ANY SOLID PROOF. DON'T YOU THINK THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE "COCKS" HE LOVES WOULD "OUT HIM" VIA THE TRASHY TABLOIDS? I'M JUST SAYIN'. BY THE WAY THE DANCING WASN'T BAD. AFTER ALL HE DID MANAGE TO KEEP UP WITH THE BEAT, AND HE ALSO INCLUDED A HIP HOP STYLE MINI-DIP. DO YO' THANG TOM!!!!!!!!

SORRY ABOUT THE DOUBLE POST. I'M NEW HERE. TO #134: I DON'T THINK THAT'S KATIE STANDING NEXT TO TOM, I THINK THAT'S HIS LEADING LADY IN MI-3.

177, they do sell their stories. Then he sues them, and they take it back. It's a beautiful circle, really.

@177-

There WAS at least one guy who claimed he slept w/TC, but TC sued him or something and got it hushed up. Just like #179 said.

Edna-

Jesus is here with me right now. He's doing some blow in the bathroom, but he told me to tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP, and to stop making him look like a jerk because he's a pretty cool dude. I mean, you wouldn't see Allah or Buddha coming over to chill and do som drugs w/you, right? And the best thing about it is, he's always got the good shit. He steals it from his dad. Anyways, Jesus says you suck, Edna. Why do you think you're fat? He's punishing you for trying to fuck up everyone's good time!

#174

I've already found Jesus. He's tied up in my basement right now. If he's a good boy, I'll take the ball gag out.

#181 dont bother taking the ball gag out..hell just talk some shit about saving your soul...ignore him. the fucker!

@176

Just for you..TCLTC

And being new doesn't escuse you from being an IDIOT..chill out witht the CAPS aight!

Oh don't forget TCLTC..he's his own living, walking cock-loving proof..

Seacrest out!

181 Thank you very much for your link. I almost forgot how hot Mike Mussina is. Stalked him many times when he was an Oriole

Post # 121...


You obviously saw "Pulp Fiction" Only it was Tom fucking Ving...
And Ving dances worse than Tom, because he IS a Tom...

Post #137...

You deserve the Million Dollar Jackpot...
Sorry, I'm at work, choking like a weed smoker. This site is so funny!!!
Oh,Tom Cruise Loves The Man Wiener!!!

hey JACKASSES, I know your not my friends.. I wouldn't be friends with any of you. when I posted "my friends at the superficial" that was meaning to be SARCASTIC..

you guys are all IDIOTS, or 11 years old. one of the two.

That video was awesome... it's like an alien came to our planet and we put him on BET...

@186 - I'll chill out with the CAPS. And, I'd really appreciate it if you would refrain from calling me an idiot.

Thunder, you're just begging to be called an idiot, aren't you?

Fa, that was great. My stepdad is a big fan; bought him the 3CD set for Christmas. One of the few things he brought with him when they evacuated. He'd appreciate it, too. I actually tried to get some of my stuff published, or whatever you do with that shit, but I guess you have to find the right person in that market to have anything done. Sucks to be me. About that, anyway. The rest is pretty awesome.

I like him. They're happy and he rocks, and he can ACT!
That's all, each to his or her own!

Mediocrity strikes again.

187 Aww, c'mon Megan. I just had "Fa Cube Itches & Megan Harris Best Friends Forever" t-shirts printed. That really hurt. I was gonna give 'em out to everybody here. Oh well; guess I'll cry myself to sleep tonight.

#174 "Will you ask Jesus Christ to be your Savior and Lord today to receive God’s forgiveness of all sin, become a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven and gain eternal life, escape hell, receive deliverance from every curse and spiritual oppression, and receive healing from sickness & disease?"

You ask too much you whinny bitch. You should just BELIEVE not ask stuff in return. And believing shouldn't make you all illuminated and righteous. Your path should be one of humulity among your brothers (yes, you are our sister, like it or not), not perversion of the holy sacred word.
And end that shamefull villanous gluttony of yours. Every time you eat a cookie, donate a box of them to starving children. Better: just donate. And if you have the money to buy cookies to mantain that look, adopt an orphan. Spend time nurturing a loveless child instead of preaching to empty ears and trying to morally punish the ignorant. They will find their salvation with love, not your scorn.

May the Goddess be with you, young witch.
Wise and blessed be.

First of all, MeganHarris has been hospitalized for accidentally mistaking a box of Comet for Tang orange drink mix, so I will let that one go as she has suffered enough.
Secondly, lame bananas has a nervous twitch where she picks the scabs around her asshole and smells her fingers, so I really don't think we should try to make her feel worse about herself.
Third, xaputa thinks that witchcraft is a real religion, so we should leave her alone because she needs to get used to it.
Finally, I think Tom Cruise confused leaning wit it, rocking wit it with doing tha ratchet, and somehow ended up finishing in a improvised 1-2 step. Overall, I give him an 8. Not bad for a smug, overrated cock-gargling asshole-eater with a micropenis. Not bad at all.

The Village People called. They want to hire Tom as a backup dancer.

And by backup dancer, I mean, fondle them while they sing and "perform" on stage.

que tarado!

I'm more righteous than a pizza oven!

*Licks herself for being so righteous.* Tasty!

Tom Cruise loves the cock.
Edna should love the cock more often.

Very happy to see that Tom's movie didn't do so well at the box office. $48 million as compared with $70 million for the last Mission Impossible. Hopefully this will take some of the wind out of his obnoxious sails.

Why does the cock love tom cruise?

Osh, you sexy, cock-devouring, pussy spanking, luscious bitch, where the fuck have you been? We've missed you greatly, to the point where I felt I couldn't go on without you. BTW, I typed all that with my tongue.

XOXOX

# 160 LOL! (and I don't work weekends)
(Are u Willy Nelson)? ( Got any tax tips ?)
BTWUII

what persona was he going for? low-key albino pimp w/PVP pipe up the ass club moves? Mission Accomplished!

No, he was clearly recreating the "fill the bucket" Johnny Bravo move.

Tom Cruise is like someone's embarressing uncle at a wedding.


Oof, do we need any further proof he is not gay? Saw him and Katie at the Holly premiere last week.. pics to prove it...

http://kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-saw-tomkat-in-person-no-joke.html

Negative Ghost Rider

He's rich, he's Tom Cruise, and YOU are not. Just like any white guy, on the dance floor he sucks, but then again, he has enough money to OWN most of the dance floors.

This only proves that Scientology makes you crazy AND freakin' rich too (well, more rich than you were before). Ask John Travolta. He could only do disco and Grease moves before Scientology.

Tom loves the cock, he has one, and can buy a bigger one, or multiples, and end up looking like he has a palm-tree in his pants. Didn't he play the Gimp in Pulp-Fiction? Real man's man.....man.

I can watch this clip now, but it has taken work. At first it was only through my fingers with the sound off, then, with help of my therapist, I can sit almost until the end, but the vommiting and diarhea (sp) are still pretty bad.I just run to the loo, and breathe, and breathe.....

I don't give a fuck! I liked that shit. It was dorky, nerdy, but fuckin' sweet. It was so sweet his dorky self jut became really cool. I love his little dance! I love that he was a white man over 40 who heard some dirty south crunk rap beats and didn't run but actually got in the spirit and danced to the shit! I love him! Fuck all you bitches! Tom Cruise is my babydaddy. I'm gonna birth his baby - Suri is adopted by the way, Katie doesn't even have a womb to gestate a real fetus.

@174
And don't forget to invite Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to the Bible study, over tea and crumpets.

This makes me re-think the notion that he's gay. Gay men can DANCE, for god's sake.

He looks like a retarded midget with a bee in his pants.

Or maybe he's as bad at being a gay as he is acting.

BTW, MI3 blew chunks. Yeah, it's //TOTALLY// believable that the most cutting-edge secret serviceman would run out of bullets in every fucking scene. And that his character's naive, untrained fiancee would suddenly transform into a gun-slinging pro when the need arose... WTF?

Mission Impossible III: Fantasy Island

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