May 04, 2006

Britney Spears getting married for a third time

federline-spears-renew.jpgBritney Spears is planning on renewing her vows in Vegas after Kevin Federline allegedly proposed for the second time and promised to stop letting her down. Supposedly, he got on one knee and said, "Let's fucking do it again!" A friend of the couple tells Heat magazine:

"Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her. Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she's every wanted to hear."

If I was Britney Spears I'd want to relive the biggest mistake of my life too. Maybe next week she can relive the joy of finding out she's pregnant again. You know, take a pregnancy test, find out she's knocked up, and then lock herself in the bathroom for eight hours sobbing and cursing men for having penises.

Source


Previous Entries

» Paris Hilton lookalike on CNN Live
» Jessica Simpson is backwards evolving
» Kelly Brook at Three UK premiere
» Britney Spears doesn't trust Kevin Federline
» Tom Cruise changes the law

Comments

idiot

1st, cool

3rd time's the charm! And not just marriages, it goes for babies too. You'll see.

The superficial needs to do a post on the baby-sitter story. Britney wanted to hire a baby sitter to keep track of Kevin and to keep him out of trouble because he is too hard of a partier.

The story can be found here:

http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/04/britney-spears-hires-babysitter-for-kfed/

#4 Actually, Superficial already handled that one...

This is what happens when they put CIA Richard on your ass.
(I hear Richard is a real Dick)
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/05/04/britney_spears_doesnt_trust_ke.html

Somewhere, there is a hell with these two in it.

She's getting married for the "thrid" time?

What number is that, I must've missed it in preschool.

Ya know, most people wait until like, 10, 15 years to renew their vows. Jumping the gun, aren't they? Like THIS time will be better. It'll really STICK this time. Yeah.

"Let's fucking do it again"

Words I have always wanted to hear in a marriage proposal. *sigh* Brit gets all the good ones

Will this bitch ever learn that her husband is a complete retard? It is just like everyone in the world knew O.J. was wrong except for 12 jurors..please.

LilJenny: Wanna get fuckin' hitched?

Best I can do...I'm not a real wordsmith like K-Fed.

I guess they are springing for the Elvis impersonator this time..there is nothing else that spells class like two hillbillies trying to be normal people.

Thats the big announcement? I am SO sick of her... like I care a whit about what she says.

ESQ: The OJ jurors look like Oliver Wendel Holmes next to the Moussaoui jury. Cool to know that a guy can have a hand in (or even have prevented) nearly 3,000 deaths, but gets a pass because he had a tough childhood and Froggies called him names.

wow...24 hours of waitng for her announcement of bankruptcy caused by K-Fed's investment in a portuguse brothel down the drain...well there hope that next, paris hilton will end her life now than Stavros in dippin' in the lohan...cross your fingers guys

I find it hilarious how even thinking or looking at Fat-ney And Federgoldigger can trigger stupidbraindegeneration syndrome. As you can see, Mr. Superficial spelled it "thrid." Uh oh...I feeel sumthing hapining two meee....

So is this the big announcement that was scheduled for today? That she and Kevin are renewing their wedding vows and going to stage another wedding? Ugh.

She really IS as stupid as she looks.

* * * W H O C A R E S ? ? ? * * *

She is a non-entity. Don't her "people" get that yet?

Catering by KFC cuz Brit-Brit loves the cajun popcorn chicken!

What's an appropriate gift for a vow renewal? Paper? China? Silver? A box of Newports and a Sam's Club crate of Cheetos?

I knew she was stupid, but she's masochistic too? It must be nice to have a sugar-mommy who's as retarded as you are, huh, K-fug?

Fa Cube

Let's fuckin do it!

#22

She would kiss your ass for some Newports, cuz all she can afford now are Basics

Oh, so it is going to be just as classy as her first...I mean second wedding. I can't wait to see K-fed in the after wedding PIMP sweats.

I just have this image of 'Freebird' playing on their wedding night as K-Fed puts on the cock ring he got off Ebay....and that's after he hides the camera in the laundry pile. For insurance, y'know?

Yet more evidence that 'Intelligent Design'and Evolution both are a load of crap.

Unless of course The Almighty is big on tragicly humorous entertainment.

This is [sniff]... just so fuckin' romantic. [sniff]

I mean, [sob]... I haven't cried like this since [wail]... I saw The Bridges of Madison Country. [Unabashed wailing and crying].

I'm just so fuckin' happy for both of them. I need to get another box of fuckin' tissues.

It's the "thrid" wedding because it won't change anything. Call me crazy, but I would probably just have started out by marrying some guy who wouldn't be an asshole in the first place. That would be all I would "every" want.
Is the editor of the SF on hiatus?
Maybe he wants to bring a second, real husband/father into the picture.

hmm, she may be getting married for the third time, I'm not sure about the "thrid" though. Sounds a little kinky....

That's the big announcement??? why on earth would she want to announce that she is in fact the most stupid person on the planet? she really is a glutton for punishment.

29 You saw the Bridges of Madison County. Ha ha ha. Wait, oh shit...so did I but in my defense I was on a plane.

I saw it too, but in my defense, I'm a chick.

My hubby was drunk when he proposed to me, and OMG you guys, I was pregnant too.. Fuck, does that mean I have something in common with these fuck-ups?? Say it ain't so.... no, no, wait.... I'm not fat and my hubby is no wigger.. whew, that was close.

In other news, my pussy is hot hot hot....

Big Jim you know how I know your gay?

Because you saw "The Bridges of Madison County" and honestly, I never even heard of that movie and still know, but I'm sure there was a lot of sarcasim in your post....................

BigJim is NOT gay, cuz last night he and I went 4 times.... IN A ROW....

Ok - I finally got voted off Surviver - YOU BASTARDS !
(not that I've ever seen the show)

I'm pretty sure I'd like to have sex with Cruising for Cock... Fingers can be a very wonderful thing...

I almost had lesbian sex once but she was really drunk and high and she passed out.

I almost had lesbian sex once but she was really drunk and high and she passed out.

It was such a good story - I had to tell it twice...

Wonder what the processional music is going to be? "Paradise By The Dashboard Light?"

Men at Work's "It's A Mistake" would probably be more fitting.

LilJenny:

Fuck yeah! Which casino in Vegas should we use? Circus Circus? It's gotta be first class all the way.

Is anyone else getting the Sonic ad at the top of the page? While their food isn't bad for fast food, if I just graduated and someone gave me a Sonic card as a graduation present, no jury in the world would convict me for lead pipe beating I would give them.

@43 I love that Meatloaf song. But it's a secret. Don't tell anyone.

Oops she'd do it again??! Dumbass...HIT HER BABY ONE MORE TIME! So is this some hokey shit dreamed up by K-fart that if they get married a second time and don't get a new pre-nup that it'll supercede the previous marriage's pre-nup? hmmmmmmm....

Man, their story just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? I mean, trashier and trashier. I think she should buy Neverland off Michael Jackson and turn it into a huge trailer park, then move all her family in.

Just another excuse to spend more money and wear their expensive (tacky) "PIMP" track suits again . . . > . . . I want a "PIMP" suit too

41 and 42, what was stopping you???

50 Good point but I suppose it is because deep down - I love the cock - just like Tom Cruise.


My guess is the press conference was actually about a break-up, but Britney opened up her big mouth and decided to tell K-Fed and he freaked out about his sugar mama kicking him out and got all mushy-gushy... gawd... it's making me sick to even think about it.

I mean, does she really think that we CARE enough that it was worth all that trouble to call press conference and keep it all secret and lure in the press through those methods.

Oh, she does???

Bring it on Krisdylee.

dont even tell me that this is what the press conference was held for.

thats probably what he said about the baby too "lets fucking do it again"

he probably is just jumping at the chance to wear another jumpsuit that says "da pimp "....because he needs validation.

What is wrong with this woman?! Is she even capable of having a sane thought? Or of having even one nanosecond of wisdom ever?

EVERYONE EVERYWHERE hates this guy K-Fed. Even Brit fans. He has a "delusional sense of entitlement", he's a golddigger, he's a d*bag, an embarrassment, etc., etc. everyday everywhere. DJs laugh at him. Didn't she SEE the PopoZao video of him doing those ridiculous, retarded hand movements? And hasn't she heard him say stupid things like "My new album is going to set the dance floors of America on FIRE!" or "I'm hotter than a pizza oven!"

Lord, I just cringe for her and the embarrasment he causes her--but I should stop wasting my time cringing because she seems to think he's fine--someone she wants to marry a SECOND TIME.

Arrrggghhh and more arrrggghhh! What an idiot!

Which reminds me, hey where's Duckboy? He should be cryin' a river just about now.

They look really cute in this picture.

And you people beleive everything you hear, this story is obviously fake.

Damn

This story can't be legit, can it? I hope Paris steals D-Fed from Brit. They would make the perfect Hollywood couple.

zed, of course he said it would be hotter than a pizza oven! when you work at little caeser's on the dl (like k-fug), you KNOW these things. and those weren't funny hand movements, no no- that's how they knead the crust. and why, you may ask, is he working at little c's? obviously, shitney has grown tired of cheetos, and is hitting the "harder" junk. food. he's just supporting her habit.

56 - God, the Waffen-SS was less loyal to Hitler than you are to Britney. Exactly how many restraining orders does she have against you at this point? 200?

Now that's just silly! babadababdaba

So what happened to the press conference?? Was this just a rumor that turned out to be untrue?

"let's fucking do it a again baybee, yeah on account of my semen being so fertile, joos my woman"

It's so SAD. She used to be voted sexiest woman on the planet, and look at the fucking state of her, marrying a retarded red-neck, popping out retarded babies and eating nothing but burgers. It just shows how stupid men really are- we women KNEW she was a thick, ugly cunt all along. We are united in being glad she has proved it to the world.

K-fed looks like he should be nibbling a piece of cheese and darting around on the floor. He even has the shifty, beady eyes.

I got down on my knees and pledged my everlasting love to my ATM yesterday if it would stop eating my card. It's pretty much the same thing.

#41/42 & 50 - After the girl passed out, she just drew her blood.

"Let's fucking do it again"
Is he a romantic or what?

#58 christee :)

He's Little Cesar's night guy washing the floors and cleaning the ovens, which are just cooling down by the time he gets to them.

Hence the phrase: "Hotter than a pizza oven"--he's always got his head in one of them, and he should know.

Too bad the springs on one of those pizza-oven doors doesn't spring shut on his neck.

Oooh. That was mean. True, but mean.

LAST!!!!

Tome Cruise Loves The Cock

She looks so old and tired and forced in this photo. No 24 year old should look like that, esp one with seven figures in the bank.

Unless she traded six of them in for Cheetos, MooLattes, and Red Bull. Nevermind; I just answered my own question.

Oh, Kevvy, Kevvy, how was I supposed to know
That you were suck a dick, yeah
Oh Kev, I peed on an EPT
There's two lines on the stick, yeah
Now I really need my tubes tied
All you do is get fried
And hang out at stripper clubs
Cause
This big fat ass is killing me
And I'm
I'm not as sexy as I used to be
Used to be
Hope Yoga can fix my behind
Fix my behiiiiiiiind
Don't impregnate me one more time!

hey now, zed! several years ago, when i worked at little caeser's, the after-hours clean up guy was much cooler and smarter than k-fug. clearly, he's management material. all.the.way. and further proof, pizza! pizza! = popozoa! popozoa!
p.s.- i agree about the oven door and his neck and all that :)

Now that's love - who wouldn't want to renew their vows to the K-Fedmeister. After all, he's done so much for her...

I can't wait for the day when I meet my very own Kevin Federline

Fa Cube,

I can't afford anything as classy as Circus Circus. Let's do it at that driveup place or at the Frontier.

WHO CARES! My question is, "Why doesn't AOL use spell check?"

"Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her. Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she's (every) wanted to hear."

How about "...this is all she's EVER wanted to hear."

Britney Spears is a white-trash hillbilly....im surprised shes not getting married AFTER her 5th kid! Good for you Brit..your changing the world one hick at a time.

this has been an interesting, yet dangerous year...

britney drops her baby on its head

our vice president shoots an elderly man in the face

scary!

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