Announcement from Brit?

A doctor told her what causes babies. Hopefully she'll share with Anna Nicole.

how the fuck do I have to sign in again?
Damn you Gerald. Damn you.

Why is this post not getting through?

THAR SHE BLOWS....PwFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWHSSSHHH..

obviously she's about 9 mos. pregnant.

baby powder and powdered sugar?
What about K-Fed's blow?

Whatever she has to say will be reflective of her size - huge!!

Whatever she plans to say, it's a sure is gonna be something stupid.

She's announcing that she's aborting the baby, due to severe defects. Tom Cruise has offered to buy the "products of conception" stating,

"I haven't had a solid meal in weeks. There's only so many sperm-smoothies a gay can take."

Hopefully she's announcing her retirement. Can you say "has-been"?

*sure bet* damn talk about stupid

where does her neck end and chin begin?

clickity clickity click.

@7 Akapee: I'll be sending you an invoice for the time I've wasted today reading your stupid-ass posts. You are about as funny as cancer.

#12 I was just thinking the same thing.

@14 no shit.....priceless.....I'm not the only one who thinks that Indian is retarded.....

#14:
Hey, sometimes CancerNipples is funny.
Don't be a hater...
(I agree)

I'm really starting to hate all these big-ass sunglasses they all wear.....
my 4 year old has a pair of sunglasses and when he puts them on he thinks he's spiderman.... I wonder what/who Brit turns into when she wears hers.

Is PapaHotNuts gone?? I haven't seen him in forever.

She's announcing that because shes a dumb fuck and stepped on a needle, she has contracted AIDS/HIV. Good goin, Britney.

#14

Amen to that

Maybe she's going to announce that K-Fed is the father of Anna Nicole's fetus...and that she's going to marry her too becuase one leach just isn't enough...

"I'm Britney Spears! If I want to marry another girl I can!"

They do have alot in common when you think about it...

A. They are both whores
B. They are both fat whores
C. They are blond
D. They are inbred
E. They are both famous for being dumb inbred blond fat whores.
F. They are both from the South.
G. Neither have any talent.

hey, SODOMY: click the box that says "remember personal info" and u won't have to keep signing in (maybe)

The one guy in 98 Degrees, Jeff Timmons, aka the one without a famous ex-wife, TV dance championship or long-shot mayoral campaign, was arrested on charges of drunken driving and driving without a valid license in Florida on Apr. 23, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office confirmed Wednesday.

WHO IS THAT?? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM!!

i hate indians.

Damn you Fisher. Stop giving away my secrets.

I think she'll announce that her and k-fed are breaking up... mark me premnition!

I'm not sure which is cooler.
The fact that you told me to do that, or that you actually said: "Hey, Sodomy!"
There's a first for everything, perhaps I shall content myself with that...

who holds a press conference to announce a break up?

If this is a retirement announcement, I may just start believing that there is a TRULY loving God out there somewhere.

oh brother...

maybe she's leaving the entertainment industry and going into hiding..

oh what a blessing it would be!

she's going to announce that her and K-FED have decided to convert to scientology, and in fact K-FED has become the new grand high whatever the hell they call it.

Just remember what you ask for. If Moby Brit goes into hiding and/or retires that means more Paris/Lohan posts on the Fish.

Akapee is to be hated, indeed, but don't know which slur to use... I'm assuming we're dealing with an obese, drunken reservation dweller - but I've also dealt with some curried-goat eating wife beaters when calling customer service for my ISP who are about as articulate...

Any help?

people she may be retiring, but your still going to hear about her all the time. only worse, now she's going to be like Paris Hilton who is famouse for being famouse.

Seriously. I wonder what it is.

Something about Sean Preston's brain.
She's pregnant again.
She has breast cancer.
Someone in her family is dying.
She's moving to another country.
She's angry at the paparazzi.
She's going to adopt orphans from other countries.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow.......

i like the one about curried-goat eaters....

I've been told that she will be announcing her pregnancy, her break up with KFed and the upcoming reality show where they will be choosing the person that will be raising her children.

maybe she ate nicole richie

Chanel_bear, any thoughts there? What the fuck is Akapee? Aside from a flagrant idiot, of course.

omg! she's turning lesbian, and is going to raise her children with Rosie O'Donnald.

trotter: personally, i think that Akapee is somehow related to sherry-co and meganharris in an inbred britney spears asking her cousin to "hit me baby one more time" sort of way....

Maybe CPS is demanding that she live in a one-story home so that the child won't roll out of the top floor window.

I would love if she went all Ron Burgandy style with her news conference:

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen.

CANNONBALL!!!

But instead of her jumping into a swimming pool, I wish a real cannonball would hit her in the face and kill her, Kevin, and knock her baby out of his highchair one more time so his journey in mental retardation could be completed without the needless years of accidental dropping, kicking, setting on fire by his chuckleheaded parents.

Seriously, why is she so fat?

She's going to announce that she just signed a 2 year contract with TrimSpa (baby) and is going to debut her new song, "I don't want to be a fat hillbilly anymore"

@41

Got it. I was trying to write a funny one about MeganHarris & Akapee being related and all, but then I realized it's impossible to consider anything about them as funny.

Aside from the fact that they're retarded, inbred transexuals who cannibalize aborted fetuses. That's kinda funny.

@46

i think i may love you a little

I think we're all missing the big picture. Britney had a Sony Exec tell the media she has "something" to say. Why the fuck do we care?

I know, maybe she found a cure for cancer, or discovered a new alternative fuel source, or how to break the speed of light.

It's Brittney fucking Spears. We're supposed to sit on the edge of our seats and hold our breath for this Earth shaking, life altering announcement? Ooohh, the suspense is making my akapee's flare up already.

Britney Spears to announce buying stock in Krispy Kream. Good for you, Brit.

Is this a site for losers with no lives to type out their trite views about wealthy superstars?

@49

close, but really she's just going to give up singing and her and Kevin are going to open thier own Krispy Kreme. K-Fed will do the baking, and Britney will be on cash.

Inside sources report the news conference will deal with Britney revealing she has been having an affair with Hostess snack cakes for the past six months. She is leaving K-Fed for two Ho-Hos, a Twinkie, and a Chocodile. It is, to be blunt, the worst kept secret in entertainment.

Just another FUCKING baby? Wow CARE CAKES!

i'll bet that she's going to announce that she has hepatitis from stepping on that needle. i'm not buying it, though, given that she's married to a walking petri dish.

She bought the controlling stock interest in Cheetos and is now assuming the role of CEO?

#50

pretty much

I think she is going to announce that she will be the new spokesperson for Head & Shoulders because she plans on getting so fat there is no way she'll be able to retain her neck.

I got $20 on "name of her third chin". Any takers?

...but it's not nice to call people loosers.

She will be announcing that K-Fraud has left her for Tom Cruise, because not only does Tom Cruise love the cock, so does K-Fraud.

After Brit eats her weight in Cheetos, she will decide that she can't go on alone and she will marry Nick Lachey within a week.

Shortly after this all happens, Ashlee Simpson will start talking trash to Jamie Lynn Spears and Britney will sit on her and Ash;ee's ugly carcass will be lodged in Brit's asshole.
You just know it's all going to come around like this and it' because Tom Cruise love the cock.

#50 Yes, yes it is. Join in or piss off.

hahaha! I hope its the breakup for sure. I hate kFed

#50 please tell us about yourself.

#56 and #61, are there are rules here? And #61 I don't want to piss on your head.

MeganHarris' real identity:

http://www.drhern.com/

You are a sick man, Dr. Hern. Or should I write, MeganHarris?

@ 64, Rule #1, all threads must reference Tom Cruise's affinity for schlong at least 20 times.

Tom Cruise Loves The Cock.

@52

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Chocodile!!

I think the Chocodile got the short end of the deal. Brit gets a smarter mate, K-Fed can go date Jessica Simpson, but the poor Chocodile.

@ 65

That is not MeganHarris. I've actually met this guy a few times. Well, I've never actually met him, but a few ex-girlfriends of mine have met him. And he's cashed a few of my checks, checks that I sent with the girls.

She is in fact going to announce her new line of baby clothing called, get this,"Baby Sean".
Kinda like a play on Baby Gap and Sean John.

Nah..Just kidding, but not to far of from the mind of Britt and Company.

But why in the fuck does she have to hold it in the Convention Center?! Doesn't that bitch know it's getting ready for E3. Come on!! She could of held this at the Starbucks in Malibu.

Maybe she's going to announce that she has a life-threatning case of reverse-jaundice that's started at her fingertips and worked it's way up to her face. Oh, wait...that's just the yellow stuff from the Cheez Doodles...

Oh wait!! Now I know why she has to hold it at the convention center...It's the only place with big enough doors for her fat ass.

Her next album is supposedly some kind of tribute to her little sister Jamie Lynn Spears..and even wrote a song called "To My Sister (Little Me)

Here is Britany singing part of "Little Me" song & dancing in a studio since giving birth to Sean Preston.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0H7y1i2kpY&search=Britney%20Spears%20My%20little%20me

Its obvious of course that she is still a "heavy weight" in the music industry.

"This morning, Ms. Spears cum Federline announced that her husband, 'K-Fag' misinterpreted her song lyrics 'Hit me baby one more time' and is filing a suit for physical abuse."
In other news, Sean Connery was quoted as saying: "Go K-Fag! Keep your ho in check!"
I got nothing. I'm drunk.
Goodnight.
Fuck the next person who gets first.

She is announcing that much like a camel she can live for months off of the hump between her chin and neck.

$10 says shes gonna announce that she and K-Fed are taking some time out.

Akapee ignore those nazi fucks, its a free forum and u can be as lame as u wanna be!

Maybe she will announce that she finally kicked that ass of a husband to the curb, and she is going to work on rebuilding her image and career. I know most of you people hate her, but she could put on a damn good show.

She's announcing that she's preggers again. There's already been a leak to the swiss media. Apparently she's due in August. There are some photos circulating arround of her in a pink biki and she's cleary showing...

Duh... just what we needed more K-Fed spawn.

Thank you all for coming:

Tom Cruise Loves The Cock.

So, she made a press release to say she's going to make a statement?

It's like calling someone to tell them you're going to call them!

ha ha #4

tcltc

It's most likely going to be about the poor kid she is carrying. Maybe she's going to announce that she's not pregnant, just fat as hell.

# 24, Indians hate you.

76. Posted by billabong021 on May 3, 2006 05:36 PM

Akapee ignore those nazi fucks, its a free forum and u can be as lame as u wanna be!

So you agree then billabong021, Akapee is lame........

#24, Indians, yes all of them, are gonna get yo ass..you still have time to run. Might I suggest the woods..yes behind that tree..

Don't forget tcltc..

Oh how I hope she's expecting siamese twins! Or siamese quintuplets! They could all be joined together with their weenies in each other's bum holes, like a long chain of paper dolls. And she'll announce that she's become spokesperson for the Attached Window Lickers Society. Britney's kids will ride the short bus... mark my words.

this blows

@28:

"who holds a press conference to announce a break up?"

When you need all the publicity you can get...Britney Spears would hold a press conference to annouce that she's taking a dump if she needed to do so.

ladies and gentlemen I HAVE A GUNT thank you for coming

She's converting to Scientology...
mark my words

She's announcing she's learned to wipe from front to back.

Stupid bimbo is going to mess up my commute to work. I hope she announces that she has a terminal case of crotch-rot and cheeto-related liver failure.

I think she is going to announce that she is "finally going to be serial about her career and life." I'm too good. Serially.

anyone else remember that episode of "trading spouses," w/ the sea cow from ponchatoula, la? that's not far from shitney's hometown, so clearly both of these cows are going to announce they are trading spouses. i give k-fug 10 minutes before he runs out the mansion, in mortal fear, b/c margaret wants to vomit after meeting him, as he is "dark-sided." "demons!gargyles! slakkits!" haha, good times...
bsltc(heetos)

Let me guess, I'm pregnant and divorcing K-Fed cause he's a fucking retard!

Another possible candidate:

"Hey, y'all, I am SO drunk!" (Mating call of the Southern woman)

Putting a baby in a blender? SF you are even freakier than K-Fed

The hardware store in Kentwood took down the big ol' sign that said something on the order of, "Proud hometown of Britney Spears". And it's just a shitty little store. Or maybe it's a furniture store. Maybe both. Like they use those big wire spools for coffee tables.

Classssssss-ay. I'm tired. But wide awake. That sucks. So does Tom Cruise... but only on the cock.

She's gonna say, in her southern accent: "Hai theyuh, repawtuz! Thanks faw cumin down heeuh! Ah just wanted two uhnownce that ah luv cheetose! Umm umm umm um mm ummm! They sho izz good!

the announcement is: whitney houston and britney are recording an album together.
the album is to be titled, "whitney and britney: our names rhyme and we both have gold-digging ugly-ass husbands".
hopefully, whitney will suggest a certain weight-loss stimulant to britney as well.

I'm not akapee, just so you know

also no one gives a shit about your pathetic delusions of interent grandeur ;)

LOL @ #99.

I don't know why everyone takes the piss out of celebrities when they start looking like regular people... makes me think you will only be happy when the whole world looks like Nicole "Not Anorexic...Trust...honest i'm not, seriously, im not" Richie.

I think Britney will be announcing her pregnancy if the tabloids are anything to go by. Or maybe shes gonna come live in England :D

Why would she do a press conference to announce being preggo though? She didn't do it with her first baby.

I'm betting on (praying for) her retirement.

Maybe she's announcing that Han Solo has finally been delivered to her by Boba Fett and he will be placed on display in her throne room.

HOLY SHIT!!

She announced at the press conference that she ate Sean Preston to make space for the new baby, she added that the toddler was washed down with a 40 ounce jug of King Cobra Malt Liquor. And that she, and K-Fed, are happily awaiting the new arrival.

She's going to announce that:

1. She's getting rid of K-Fed since she's clearly so much better off without him.

2. She's giving baby Sean Preston up for adoption since he's clearly so much better off without her.

3. She's not pregnant after all. Turns out if was just a combination of gas and constipation.

4. She's going to do a comeback just as soon as she remembers how to a) keep herself fit, b) wear a bra, c) dance, d) sing (optional).

@ Moriarty -- I love a good Star Wars reference! There just aren't enought of those in these threads.

My theory on her big "announcement" is this: After months of study and collaboration with physicist Stephen Hawking, the discovery of a black hole within our Milky Way Galaxy has finally been revealed -- the swirling vortex of gravational pull is centered around Britney Spears, sucking in everything around her and turning it into a particle stream of shit.

Because, you know, she's fat. Like CancerNipples.

On a more serious note, I don't see how this person could ever go back to what she used to do.
She can't REALLY sing, her whole schtick was the dancing routines and watnot. That hasn't been good for her, she's not a natural dancer, her body can't take it (she's got blown knees up the wazoo). She's done, she needs to drop that faggot husband of hers, make some investments and get the fuck out of my face.

sweetcheeks reverting to her pathetic tactics of calling anyone who doesn't kiss (or anyone who's ass she isn't kissing) "fat".

Aren't you the one who constantly claims youre hotter than Scarlett Johanssen, and then you finally posted your pic and everyone puked? Yeah, that's you. Give it a rest.

I already said this is another post, but I'll say it again. People like sweetcheeks need to stop fagging up this site with your pathetic in-fighting. You are all ugly, and sweetcheeks should be outlawed, she's so heinous.

If the people on this site aren't "cool" enough for you then you can waddle your fat ass away from the computer and go outside and interact with real people.

You're so pathetic.

I agree. The only thing Brit ever had was good stage presence, and she was a good dancer. Now, her knee is fucked beyond repair (and she's too chubby) to seriously dance and entertain people on stage. She's finished, and I'm sure that's what this press thing is about.

I hope CancerNips actually HAS cancer. I'm not the only one who hates you! Check around. Read some responses to your ever-so-witty posts.

Did you read my post at all?

I don't CARE what other people think of my posts. I don't come here to be "funny". I don't come here to kiss everyone's ass, either, unlike you "OMG PAPAHONUTS MARRY ME YOU ARE TEH FUNNEH" I don't have illusions of internet grandeur. I post on a shitty little celebrity new site, and that's that. You put way too much energy into being accepted and "popular" on this retarded blog. That's your problem, never mine.

I don't try to be "witty" on this site, for one thing. I make comments. Period. I'm not here to entertain you or anyone else. I could give a crap how my comments are received. I know that's hard for you to understand because clearly this site is your life.

The whole point of my post is that the in-fighting here is pathetic. Who could argue with that? You're fighting over who's more popular/more "witty" ON AN INTERNET BLOG YOU PATHETIC NOBODY NERD!

You're on of the main contributors to this problem. You're pathetic. Period.

Not to mention delusional.

Now, I'm English. If you lot say '. Period .' is that the same as Hellipses (...)?

'Period' means end of discussion.
This ditchpig called sweetcheeks can throw all the pathetic insults at me that she wants because it's clearly one of the only things that keep her from killing herself.

I thought it meant 'Full Stop' -- as in the punctuation mark.

.

Also... just curious...

If it means 'end of discussion', how are you able to use it in both lines 9 and 16 or your diatribe?

Way to get bogged down in semantics.

If you agree that the comments to the superfish posts should be reserved for juvenile games such as "who is the most popular" then just fucking say so.

Fuck your strawmen, moron.

Moriarty -- I ever so want to kiss your lovely English mouth.

There goes Cancer, fagging it up... has anyone seen lambananas? Coincidence? Hmm, hmm?

^^^^^^ You see? This is fucking pathetic...

"You took my side in a pointless arguement..I LOVE YOU LET ME KISS YOU LOLZ"

Dude I'd be proud to call myself an outcast among you losers.

Coincidence my ass. THis is my ONLY account. Unlike you who make up fake accounts just to agree with you in threads...

"cheeky chops" anyone?

Just give it up, bitch.

Sweetcheeks is about as funny as Stephen Hawking.

Great posts today, CancerNipples and Sweetcheeks! Way to keep your retarded internet spat going! And Cancer, you cannot blame that idiot Sweetcheeks. It takes 2 to do the retard tango.

Yeah right, it's my fault. She's the one who trolls all of my posts and starts shit with me but you're right, moron. IT'S ALL ME

Unsolicited advice for Cancer: if you don't like fighting with her/it, then stop. post something else. You have the power. Thundercats hooooooooo!!!

http://www.delafont.com/music_acts/Music_Images/r-milsap.jpg
i think i've found the REAL britney. at piano lessons, no less!