First.

You cant handle that jelly!

Wow, she just gets scarier and scarier! Nice hair, and why does it always look like her head is receding into her neck?

damn i guess Nick Lachey really was useful, he kept her lazy ass in shape. now shes fucked.

Holy shit, she's turning into a man.

Oh and that dress looks like a tube stretched around her..why does she look like she's pressed up against a window?

Someone please straighten her crooked dress so her boobs look the same size

Celebrity Domination Check List:

1.Britney Spears fat and pregnant again. (check)

2.Jessica Simpson looking more and more like SALLY STRUTHERS.
(check)

3.Tom Cruise FINALLY proving that too much dick causes brain damage.
(check)

4.Whore out Jessica Alba to my friends
(IN THE PROCESS)

looks like she's headed in Britney's direction...

I used to think Nick Lachey was a vacant model wannabe, but his timing is ingenious, dumping Simpson after she earned a bazillion dollars, and before her Y chromosome became active.

Eww, looking kinda leathery...maybe she'll shed like a lizard and be pretty again.

Thank God I say. There is nothing worse then getting dumped by your hot wife and then watching from the sidelines while they continue to parade around all gorgeous and beautiful. So Nick can rest easy. Jessica is blowing her looks big time and having more plastic surgery done then Joan Rivers by the time she was 50. It's all downhill from here. I can now get out of bed and look in the mirror at my flaws and say "At least I don't look like Chestica Pimpleson."

nick, being the gym queen that he is, obviously kept her in shape. somehow she manages to look fat and bony simultaneously (weird collarbone)

whats with once attractive pop-stars going uggo

Nick Lachey is no model wannabe, he is, apparently, a supeb personal trainer! I for one didn't think he had any talent at all. Send him to Britneys house!

it was bound to happen. she isn't naturally sexy so she has to try really hard to look good. this wasn't one of those days

my bad...this WAS one of those days. her arms have cellulite on them.

Jessica has the whitest teeth I've ever come across.

While you're at it, send K-Fed to Jessica's house to ply his singular talent. She's only two rug rats and 15 pounds away from 'being' Britney, ...

http://www.questmedia.net/images/SallyStruthers.JPG

.....your on your way Jessie. Cheers!

I can't believe I am typing this. Jessica is looking more and more like a girl I would deny having sex with.

What happened??

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0377818/DHD-2624r.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Simpson,%20Jessica%20(I)&seq=5

what is going on? why is she constantly cocking her head like that and covering her left eye? for example,

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/26/ashlee_simpson_thinks_shes_the.html

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/12/jessica_and_ashlee_simpson_at.html

good try, jessica. ass.

I would volunteer for the Ziggurat/Mole cross-breeding program still...

what's on her upper lip? it looks a bit orangy...is she into cheetos too? good lord girls, just say NO!

i guess you have to be one extreme in hollywood:

1)a fat, cellulite packing baby making machine.
OR
2)a skinny, coked out crack addict with no tits.

...hmmmmm i say we kill them all and start again!

3 things:

1. shes a short girl
2. shes in a tall girl's dress
3. shes hunching her back

Next stop...Mariahville.

p.s. id still hit that any day

3 - 42....HUT!!! HUT!!!!!

There's a discount dept store here called Century 21. A lot of the patrons are crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Italian women and crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Southern women. Guess which category she falls into?

looks like she put on 15 pounds and it all went to her arms

#21 - You're funny.

Damn! That's a HUUUUUGE bitch! She should lay off of the Ben and Jerry's and go back to gobbling her dad's cock.
That's what I expect to see at a high school reunion. Good thing she didn't graduate from a high school. Her reunion will consist of her and her family, which isn't saying much.

Nah! She was always ugly and with a terrible sense of fashion. Whatsoever, press had treated her like some princess, which she's not, because she claimed to act and sing, which she can't. Now she's fat. Welcome to Britneyland, bitch.

Wtf are you assholes TALKING about??? She looks fine. What, because she has a bit more fat on her arms? So what? Why is it that any time some celeb has any type of imperfection, or puts on any bit of weight, this site exaggerates it into some catastrophe, as if people can't lose the weight. You'd all bang the shit out of Jessica, even as she is now, and you know it. Get a life.

hey we still have JEWEL....uh...as long as she keeps her mouth shut. :-/

Very trollish, indeed.

maybe the left eye got punched and is bruised

You're just picking bad pics of her now, whereas before, all you showed was her in good poses or airbrushed.

This is exactly what happened with Britney.

the WHOLE point is THERE ARE bad pics of this hag! can you say....Twinkies?

@36

Jewel wears way too many shirts with snaps on them.

Jacq, check your email, you whore.

OMG. She is fat and ugly. Did I hear Dane Cook was actually hitting that, because if so, I've lost respect for my God: Dane.

@39

Duckboy? Is that you?

#41 who gives a fuck about her shirts? im fucking her in the ass...cmon!

That chick is TOTALLY a guy!

I think this picture is proof positive the Jessica is a drag queen.

@44

Well, then. Carry on.

every fat bitch knows you CANNOT wear a strapless top if your arms have more fat in them then Posh Spices lips! right edna???

Um, SVA1994: Jessica is fat and ugly in that picture. if i saw that person in the mall i would point & laugh. and i certainly would not "bang" her...nick, on the other hand...

The body weight thing--I think it's just a bad picture. But that fake bake tan and the new haircut that looks like she's trying to hide a growth over her left eye...those are regrettable, changeable things. Jessica--lay off the tanning beds!!!

Oh yeah, she totally looks like a linebacker in this picture. Heh.

Eh...35 & 39. No one cares whether she's fat. We care that she's ugly and a terrible person with no brain at all who looks like a man.
Icon of style my ass...

This is soo soo soo photoshopped. This is no way her body. Even if she were to get a bit bigger, her skin would never look all lumpy like that with the amount of excersise she does. And she does not have those huge man shoulders, puh-fuckin-lease. Wake up yall!!!

LOL

Olichka: I didn't know you personally knew Jessica and had all her curves and contours down to a science. What, did she buy some of your shitty artwork?

NO AMNESTY -- EMPLOY AMERICANS!! The only difference today made for me was no traffic on the freeways, and more parking at school. Let it be forever! Don't like our laws? Go back to Mexico!

Olichka: paint a picture of a twinkie. she will buy it then.

#56 dont forget - theres also not the faint smell of diapers and taco's in the air.

Well, I'm wondering about something someone told me awhile back--aren't ladies more suseptable to getting pudgey if they work out a lot and then they cut back drastically on their weight-lifting? Wouldn't that explain why her arms look so puffy? I bet she isn't on the same sort of rigorous training schedule as she was when "Dukes" was being filmed and promoted.

politics on thesuperficial...silly

@60

No shit. I want lamebastardbananas to move the fuck on. Too bad biatcho picked this day to give the rabid dog impersonation a rest.

#56 just wait til you also the lack of "foreigners" doing all the jobs nobody wants and earning shit for it.

But seriously, what exactly happened to jessica simpson? it can't just be that she's gained a few, because she used to be more curvy back in the day (pre-newlyweds) and she looked fine. Did she get some botched surgery or something?

@62

More like some botched steroids.

she probably did what depressed chicks do: ate a shitload of consolation food w/o throwing it back up, stopped exercising, watched a lot of TV, etc.

she's sad and got lazy and fat, what's the big mystery?

mamacita, you actually might be on to something there.

Nick used to look like a wannabe quarterback, now Jessica is actually more convincing!

Worst. Tan. Ever.

She looks like Hulk Hogan.

3 - 42....HUT!!! HUT!!!!!

@56

Yes! I also love it, employ Americans and pay them a living wage, there is no excuse to take in the world's garbage and give them everything when Americans are starving. Yes, let's all side with the corporations on this issue, please continue to let them exploit people and screw American citizens. It can be done by Americans for about the smae price, all that will change is the CEOs of these greedy corps won't be making billons of dollars off of ignorant poor people that don't belong here. You go iambananas!

Jam session pics is an anagram of Jessica Simpson.

I'd still hit it. But I like big girls anyway.

70!

even her dad wouldn't hit that now.

why are people commenting on Mexican Day here? I just want to make fun of a leathery, bleach blonde with man shoulders and no neck. Oh, I'm in luck!

Since Jessica Simpson is dull, and apparently any topic is appropos the SF today, I've cut and pasted quotes from your preceding posts to create a poem for you all.

First.
Nick Lachey really was useful
she's turning into a man
a fat, cellulite packing baby making machine
That chick is TOTALLY a guy!
Duckboy? Is that you?
every fat bitch knows
in the mall i would point & laugh
she's trying to hide a growth
Icon of style my ass...

This is no way her body

NO AMNESTY. the faint smell of diapers
being filmed and promoted
give the rabid dog
all the jobs nobody wants
seriously, what exactly happened to jessica simpson?
LOL

.golf clap.

nice job, dr. roker. way to capture the feeling.

I'm ready for her to put a banana in her mouth.

And by banana, I mean dick.

When her divorce is final, Jessica will pay Nick tens of millions of dollars, and probably spousal support for years.
Nick will have completely fucked every former Miss Anything, Jessica will be as big as a house, and Papa Joe will be audited by the IRS.
Maybe there is a god, ... just a thought.

Oh my god... She looks like my barbies from child hood.. The ones my mom would glue the head back on after it got pulled off. I always made them the retarded ones who rode the short bus

I saw these images at Popsugar. I really didn't see that she looked all that bad.

hehe!

That dress is all kinds of wrong for her body type. Sorry, Jess.

her teeth look stupid.

#79 - Yeah, right. And Paris Hilton can sing.

I'd still hit it :)

rocawear86..im just guessing by your name that you may be black - and we all know black guys love the fat white bitches.

take her, but watch out she make mistake your dick for a suasage and eat it. just a warning.

may* (damn you peter)

keeping in the spirit...

i have no problem with them working the nurseries, doing the landscaping, living five families to a house, buying cases of bud, and cooking out in those cool make-shift tents with the 55 gallon drums as grills...

and i'd STILL hit that

"@39

Duckboy? Is that you?" No, no, I'm Jude from the UK.

#56: Well, let them all return to their countries. Hope you start practicing to clean your own mess now no one else will do for you.

Now you mention it, it really does look like her head has been superimposed onto another more lardier lady.

With leg-of-lamb arms.

I'd bang Sally Struthers. And her little orphans too.

Am I the only one that sees she's turning into Donny Osmond?

Ahhh...the transformation from vaguely hot star
thingie to softball playing MILF is complete.

The unemployment rate for black males is 60%... I seriously doubt that no one esle would do those jobs.

I think she just started believing the hype that she was some incredible beauty. Back when she was merely a low-level Christian-pop singer, she was quite pretty. Then she got famous and started trying to be this sex-goddess that she never really was. Now she's collapsing.

Each new pop-tart should probably be forced to watch Sunset Blvd. about 10,000 times right when they start out. We'd lose fodder, but it might save a soul or two.

I don't care what anyone says - that's Ashton Kutcher in drag!

#93 unemployment may be high for black males but they would NEVER do the work that the mexicans do.....

(Who would?)

Sweet "Banana"

Can you live in your expensive ways , sitting on your ass reading gossip web sites and earning 8 dollars/hour? And what lazy, fat, accomodated and money waster americans will wash the piss vase of a Mc Donalds ,pump (expensive) gas to SUVs and clean the dishes and arses of their own kids without the mexicans. Get real.

She looks really bad in that corset or whatever that crappy outfit is. When the fat jiggles over your clothes, you need to buy a bigger size. It must be her gazongas, they're ready to explode now.

Jessica is obviously going through a rough time. She still looks a millions times better than Ashlee.

I thought Vince Neil stopped wearing dresses in the late 80's??

Mexicans are always complaining about shit..whethere from this country or not.

Those beaners want to convert our constitution into Spanish and leave a trail or diapers everywhere.

Whats with all the racist shit in these comments?

Jesus christ, take this emo shit to toolband.com

....and back on the hog.
im starting to think that pic is photoshopped too. she may be a lazy ass, fake baked blonde...but DAMN..she cant be that fucking lazy!

Jesus Christ is nowhere on these boards.

Oh Meganharris - you exhaust me! What the fuck is up with the hehe? Are you laughing at yourself? Secret code for "i'm a man"?

The glee I feel watching her slide down a razor sharp hillside of disrepair into a slovenly bulldyke, cursing the day she dumped that faggot from the pseudo-gay boy-band is so very, very sweet.

haha sorry guys but it is definately not photoshopped... I got it from People.com! I'm not gonna lie...my jeans were feeling a little tight today and this made my day ( as pathetic as it sounds!)

Don't know or really care if she's put on weight or if the photo is photoshopped. But did wonder why she doesn't have any fat under her chin?

"haha sorry guys but it is definately not photoshopped... I got it from People.com! I'm not gonna lie...my jeans were feeling a little tight today and this made my day ( as pathetic as it sounds!)"

Ummm, well although this whole site is one big fun time-waste, why the fuck did you bother with this one, Davina?

The great white ape!

Banana man what is your heritage/lineage? At some point, your ansestors must have gotten on a plane or a boat somewhere to come to the Americas. This land that you live on now, used to be theirs. If we can afford native americans their right to their land, we should at least be as accomodating to the mexicans. (Us buying their land-shitty ripoff) Just because they were colonized by Spain and we were colonized by england doesn't you have any more right to this land than they do. Stop referring to them as the people who do the shit jobs you would never want to do, and educate yourself before you decide you are any type of an expert. You know shit about the United States, much less America. And yes, there is a difference. One is a continent.

for some reason this photo makes me want to rent Congo.

First round draft pick for the NY Giants? Gotta have a big defense!

#111...neither of those is a continent. The continent you are attempting is North America. Maybe you should dtudy a little geography before you start spouting off.

# 114 You are right. I'm sorry. I meant to say North America. It was early in the morning, and I was a little sleep deprived. :)

But I stand by my statements! Can't we all just get along?

Hey she's starting to look like the lead singer from that wacky country group, the dixie chickens.

OMG, seems like she's been going on a few dates with...Ben & Jerry. Stay far from the fridge Jess!!! I know you're sad, I know you're depressed but binge-eating is not a solution. Look at Janet Jackson. Do you serioulsy wanna end up like her?

I guess this was the only way to avoid Papa Joe's affections :(

#118--

That's horrible. But terribly funny.