Pinky's first again! TCLTC

2nd (don't be jealous)

*finally* SF writes a funny blurb, btw (right?)

I'm afraid Tom will be instructing me that Pinky is to immature and I should just be called Pink. Even though there's a fat singer with that name.

It would be funny if the SF guy was Tom Cruise

Next- hebrew scholars expalin that "kate" does not mean child-bearing woman, but "recepticle of alien invasion of earth"

tom cruise should stop naming people. seriously

#3
I'm wit you. Anything that has "prosthetic penis" in it just leads to hilarity.

There's such a ring to the name "Kate Cruise". Sounds like a discounted cruise line.

She's been shrinking for their pictures for ages - might as well shrink her name as well.
Or maybe change it to 'John the Wad' to keep the Tomster in line.

I hope he's had her microchipped so he can find her if she gets out of the cell.

i thought kate was a man why would he need a prosthetic

argh, he is so weird and controlling! Why can't she tells us she has changed her name? maybe it is because of the gag Tom has permanently placed in her mouth?
totally unrelated topic...check out these lego people having sex: excellent!
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

Tom Cruise needs to die.

BTW, he also loves the cock.

This situation just keeps getting stranger by the day. Part of me feels sorry for "Kate". She was probably psyched to think that Tom Cruise was into her. None of us knew he was crazy back then. But sweet Jesus! THIS is exactly why you date someone for a while before you get engaged/have alien babies! Good lesson for all us gals.

just when i thought we'd get a break from TC for a while....

and thank god i was wrong! i love this guy. he is clinically insane and its delicious.

Tom cruise loves the land-cock!

the Joey Potter I know & love would NEVER be in this fucked up situation...

DAMN almost first!

TCLTC

Seacrest out

Tom should've changed her name to "Rosemary..."

Thank you Satan for Tom Cruise. Just when you think he couldn't be more of an idiot, along comes another bright idea. Keep 'em coming, moron. And he loves the cock.

My name is Katie and I feel no need to change it because I am in my mid-twenties. I am ok with who I am. In my opinion, it's just another PR mistake with those two. When will they stop making themselves media targets and laughing stocks of the entire world?

Well, grown-ups really *shouldn't* be named Katie

I was in a Turkish bath house in Harlem once, and there was this short little white guy screaming about how much he loved the cock and how badly he wanted it, no! Needed it!
I never thought much about it until now.
TCLTC

Oh yeah, it seems Superficial has hired back the funny writer. I mean, the past few days it keeps getting better. Almost up to old times.
Anybody else notice that?

Tom loves the cock so much he probably thinks he should breast feed the kid with it.

i would of thought her name would be "shut up bitch!" as she must be used to him and her new "friends" calling her that by now throughout the birth

Tom, once again, proves that he has so much love for the cock, he can't even bear it.

#20 grow up woman!

Breast feed the kid. LOL With the "Cruise Missile"

i would imagine after some time with tom cruise, you'd loose your sense of "i" as well.

Tom: You need to change your name to "Kate"
Katie: Why
Tom: Because those SLIMY SLUGS in the media are going to do nothing but TELL LIES and spew vileness about how you're not a real child-bearing woman.
Katie: But I...
Tom: They are just JEALOUS ppl who never get out from under their trailer homes and have NO LIFE.
Katie: But why should I...
Tom: They r soooo reamed out right now by that 12".
Katie: What the fuck...?
Tom: SCIENTOLOGY RULES!!!!!

Ok, first things first. TCLTC. Second, this picture is bizarre. They never have believable looking kisses, its always like he's trying to swallow her head, or suck her soul out of her mouth. Yikes, that was a homoerotic sentence. Maybe I too love the cock.

he is just so gay

I'm sure Kate made her own thoughful, independent and informed decision to heed the words of the Superior Enlightmentazoid.

Next name change: L. Ronette Cruise

#30 i just sorta fell in love with you.

i'm just sitting here at work waiting for her to make her triumphant slimy slugs comment.

Will Tom Cruise also change the name of 40-something child-bearing (twice!) woman Katie Couric?

Somehow that "young woman's name" didn't stop her from becoming the first female network news anchor.

"Katie got pregnant by a FAG named Tom who said he was in love"

"Don't worry about a thing Katie girl, I'm the QUEER you've been dreaming of"

"Three months later, he said he wouldn't kiss her or hold her hand in malls"

"She swears Goddamn when she see's her Tom, in a gay porn sucking on some BALLS"

"God forbid we ever had to walk her latest shoes"

"Tom Cruise loves the COCK, and that ain't nothing new"

List of Tom's favorite words: babymaker, beef, bell on a pole, bratwurst, cock, custard launcher, dick, dingle, ding dong, mcdork, dong, donger, dork, fang, ferret, fire hose, heat-seeking moisture missle, hose, Jimmy, John, John Thomas, joystick, knob, leaky hose, lingam, little Bob, little Elvis, longfellow, love muscle, manhood, meatsicle, member, middle stump, mushroomhead, mutton, old boy, one-eyed trouser snake, one-eyed monster, peepee, pecker, Percy, pole, ramrod, rod, sausage, schlong, schvonschtucker, tool, tickler, weener

LOL!!!!!! That last line was too funny.

He's a scary man. He even sounds controlling. Like she has no voice at all. The only thing she can say is how he's so amazing and she's so in love. And I love his line "she's a child-bearing woman". you know he said that crap to her and she LOVED it. How annoying.

He's not even promoting his movie. He's talking about the baby and stealing the spotlight. He's doing the same thing for this movie that he did for War of the Worlds.

This is eerily similar to Rosemary's baby.

#12
That is hilarious. I love how they made the lego guy look like John Holmes

Even if this came from her it still wouldn't be believable, everyone knows that Scientology Brainwashing 101, page three talks all about convincing the subject to change his or her name to make a positive break from their former life. BTW we're famous!!! Everything we , well really I, have been blogging about on this site re: TC is revealed in STAR MAGAZINE, check it out, but remmeber you heard it from me first!!!!

Wow. Big differennce. Actually Kate Holmes sounds bad.

like John holmes. Then agian, Cruise's real name is William Mapother. Thats too gay sounding.

Katie Holmes's parents must be so disgusted with how their daughter's life is going.

First the ridiculous and numerous public displays of affection (what a good Catholic girl), then the out-of-wedlock pregnancy and child, and now the name change for a man who loves the ****. Tom should really dump the whole Scientology thing because he'd be right at home as a priest in the Catholic church.

Has anyone seen any pictures of their baby yet?

I think she totally looks like a Katie. Come on, as long as she has that toothy smile, she will always be "young" looking.

THE NAME MEGHANHARRIS....LIKE NAILS ON A CHAULKBOARD.

#27- Pissed off that you are old? How should #20 have to grow up? She brought up a good point. Changing ones name is a bitch!

Any minute now, y'all are gonna get a tongue lashing from sherry-co.

Wait for it

Wait for it

SLIMY SLUGS!

Did Tom Cruise ever say anything confirming that Katie really did have/do silent birth?

What sounds better yelled out in escastasy?? Katie ooo katie - or - kate aahhh kate
I think Katie ooo Katie is way more fun.

Hmmmmm

John Holmes. Katie Holmes (now Kate). Think Tom thought she was related and would have a giant schlong as well?

@49
She had an epidural

#3, #24...I think your'e right, SF is getting back to its old humor. I've noticed it over the past few days as well. Keep it up SF

picture:

KATIE: Tom, I'm really not in the mood right now, can you just please...

TOM: Hey! who calls the shots in this realtionship? And remember, your name is Kate now.

KATIE: What?

TOM: We already talked about this, and by 'we' I mean I already told the media.

KATIE: But I don't want to be called Kate...

TOM: And I don't want to be a closeted homosexual, but we don't always get what we want in life

*blink* He's closeted ??

Just leave them alone people !!!!

#55

he thinks he is

Seriously, the government should step in or something. This is getting ridiculous.

@ 38:

Don't forget "kidney scraper" and "old slimy"

Well, Tom Cruise is also not the best name in the world. And he knows it. Ideal name would be and will be, starting from tomorrow EDNA CRUISE.

ECLTC

We all know that Edna LOVES THE COCK

@52

I don't know, I was never pregnant...

but even after having an epidural, don't it still hurt? I mean, what could she have done, keep her mouth shut, breathe normally, and let tears quietly smoothly run down her face?

Whoops, I mean "won't it still hurt.." Typo in my last post.

Epidurals rock, but they don't numb your vocal cords

you know while we're on the subject of changing names for the sake of relevance, can we change his name to 'cock loving crazy scientologist man'?????

think about it, it has potential.

Katie ought to kick Tom's balls, grab the baby and run like hell!

That's what I would do.

And having your baby's name mean "pickpocket" in aother language is better? ok.....

RUN, Katie, RUN!

dear #56 (aka "miamigoldenpantherr")

how can we "leave them alone"
when Kate's flown into the danger zone?

riddle me that.

@62

I got an epidural... I could have fell asleep waiting for the doctor to deliver my baby - didn't feel a thing.

#47 lol i see it was wasted on you, supposed to be funny as according to Mr Cruise, only babies are called Katie

#69- why so bitchy? And why don't you proof your post. Doesn't make much sense.

I love how it's Tom making this announcement. Asshole. Has she actually given an interview on her own since they "hooked up" or he drugged her drink or whatever? I still think that this baby is in better hands than Britneys.

@ 44 -- No -- no one will see the baby for a while because the baby was actually born months ago....so we'll all have to wait for time to pass -- which is why TC is EXTRA pissed at Brooke for having her baby the same day and supposedly near the same weight because we'll see Brooke's baby and be able to compare it with the 3 month older baby of Kate & Chris! We're on to him.......

#69 Refer to post 36. And what's your name, old lady? Ethel? or better yet, Edna? It's nothing personal to me, but it seems to bother you more than it should. Get a clue.

TCLTC!!! he's all up on that!!!

56 We can't leave them alone. We wish we could. God knows we have tried. He is everywhere. Check your closet - I'll bet he is in there now.

TCLTC!

The Cock Loves Tom Cruise!

Katie Couric seems to have done just fine keeping her "girl" name.

MAN SHE IS A STUPID LITTLE PUPPET ON STRINGS....SHE NEEDS TO GROW SOME BALLS

It's good that Tom has started this whole "meaning of names according to different cultures debate", specially since Tom Cruise means: "he who loves the cock up his ass" in Canadian.

I think Tom should change his name to Thomas, being that Tom is the name of an immature, boorish, macho, sexist man who is a fucking idiot.

is anybody else just waiting for the day he announces to the world he's started his own cult...er, um....i mean religion? one where all the men are named Tom, and the Women have to be named Kate. And all the sofas have to be yellow....

Well, it was just easier for her to change her name than for Tom to repaint his P-51 Mustang from "Kiss Me Kate" to "Kiss Me Katie".

Oh relax. With Tom's track record with women, Kate will be Katie somewhere between two and ten years. Just ask Nicole or Penelope. He loves the cock too m uch to spend to much time on one chick.

Why can't they be like all the other cults and live in a commune until they go on their mass murder spree? At least that way, we would have peace and quiet until they started the killing.

Hmm well I had an epidural but it mostly wore off before I delivered so I felt plenty, it depends how long you're in labor etc.

I hope she screamed her head off.

Only thing for certain is TCLTC.

...and then you have to jump on those yellow sofas, don't forget that #81 , and beat up on Matt Lauer as part of the initiation....buuuut , to get to the top level of enlightenment, after all the toil and sacrifice you have to accept:

THE COCK as your eternal reward.

#78 she already has balls, why do think their together.......

#71 - I'm not so sure. Yes, physically, the baby is probably better taken care of, but the brainwashing and mental assault that baby's gonna have to deal with . . .I pity the poor thing.

So in TCLTC "TC" means "Tom Cruise" and "The Cock" and one has 4 ways to combine those..brilliant!

Anyway, there's theory in my head: probably some drugs were used in hospital and this was written to book (which is held by crazy sci.church) by monitoring-thetan nr.12090125456454. To clean he's and her name TC decided to change name of his new woman-like-machine, from Katie to Kate in atempt to confuse future bookkeepers to think that this older,not approved, human-medicine-using "Katie" maschine is/was altogether different from newer "Kate" model which will approved to OT-3 level soon.

Can Mr. Hubbard approve this above theory?

Im glad shes going by Kate, Katie sounds too immature.

....so like Nicole being in the Stepford Wives was a cry out to everyone how her life was? it was a waste of film saved only by Christopher Walken!

I'd drink champagne with him any day....or night.........

Katie: Tom, I'm so depressed since the baby was born. And because of our sexless marriage.

Tom: Be quiet and take a bunch of these vitamins, Kate.

Katie: But my name is Katie...

Tom: Xenu said I must change your name to Kate. You're now Kate. Hail Xenu, forever our Ruler.

Katie: Oh Tom, let's kiss even though there are no paparazzi around!

Tom: Sorry, no Kate. How skeevy a thought is that? Whew! Yuck! What are you trying to do to me? Kill me?

Katie: But Tom ...

Tom: And how many times have I told you to call me Mr. Cruise when we're not in front of any sort of camera or recording device, digital or otherwise, still or motion picture... Huh?

I bet THAT conversation's not far from the truth! :)

Email I received from Superficial:

You were banned because other commenters were really uncomfortable with
your threats of reporting them to the FBI, etc. I'll get you unbanned,
but you're gonna have to stop with the threats because it makes people
afraid to speak.

ednabambrick@yahoo.com wrote:
> Name: Edna Babmrick

Well, I am uncomfortable with all the disgusting posts on this board. How can I be banned when I am the only person not posting vulgarities! I will clean up the internet. I will keep REPORTING!

Giggles, I think you are on to something. Mr. Cruise/Mapother was, before he became an actor and spokesperson for an even more sexually repressive organization, preparing to enter the Catholic priesthood.

Now, as we've all been made aware since the sex scandals erupted--and the Vatican started pinning the sexual abuse on gays in the clergy--many Catholic used to send their kids to seminary in the hope that it would "correct" their "inherently disordered nature." Something tells me being subjected to two highly controlling environments since his adult life started seriously fucked up Cruise. Hence, the crazy.

I used to be BigJimmy, but Tom made me change it. He said if I didn't he'd beat my skull in with an e-meter.

#94

Go ahead and report me, Edna. It doesn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. What does make me uncomfortable is thinking about you naked.

Naked and ramming a crucifix into your naughty parts while saying, "Come into me, oh Lord. Make me come, oh Lord."

Ewww! I've gotta go wash out my brain now.

Edna,
Here are some statistics for you:

There are over 1 billion people who use the Internet, and they posted 550 billion documents between 2000 and 2005. In 2005 alone, 11.5 billion Web pages were posted. In North America, 227,303,680 users of the Internet posted in 2005.

Get real, Edna. If you continue to complain about the disgusting posts on just ONE Web site, the Superficial, you will never accomplish your stated goal of cleaning up the Internet, now will you?

Better move on. You've got a lot of work to do if you plan to continue on your course! Git. Really, git.

In the words of Homer J.,

Edna, go suck a Bible.

I thought you guys were suppose to be quick, I saw this post on a NYC site yesterday, with the same headline

http://www.starkedny.com/archives/tomkat-news-katies-name-is-now-kate

Zed, I love you.

Hey! Quit telling Edna to get lost you brainless fuckwits. There are a lot of people here who really like Edna.

You "read" that Edna? I like you. Well, I don't like you in THAT way, but I still like you because you've given me a new purpose in life, which is to make fun of you, you big fat fatty.

Free Edna!

#95: I think it's Freudian and hilarious that the place young repressed religious Christian men go to learn how to be old horny pedophiles moved from parish to parish is called a "seminary." Makes me inwardly giggle everytime I think about it...just like Tom and Kate's media-generated fake relationship and their three-headed alien baby...

Come on!!! Don't you "git" Edna. She is righteous and pure. There is a childlike innocence and beauty about her. And frankly, since she's been on this board, I've become a bit of a convert. Go Edna, you mountain of righteous fury and decency....... and lard.

Kate, the whole mind-control thing is getting old. Jane Fonda has you beat by about 30 years, and at least her then-husband made her do interesting things like solicit prostitutes and fuck strange men.
Btw, removing a few vowels from your name isn't going to make you a better actress. Xenu can only do so much.

I like to keep the goal-oriented focused.

Focus, Edna! Focus, I say!

And git.

Edna, why did you crawl out from under your rock....go back. I am reporting you for being a dumb ass bitch who is more boring that watching a turd float in the toilet.

HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTH!!

I RULE!!!

#107 You are REPORTED!

Yeah Yeah Yeah......jesus is calling you Edna...he wants you to get back under your rock...than you might get some cock! You know you'd love it Edna..you dream about it all the time, that's why you read all of our nasty stuff....get's you all wet down there.

Edna, you're back, ... bitch.

All this bait, and no SLIMY SLUGS?!? Where is sherry-co(cksucker)?

#104 - LOL LOL. Poor Edna.

SLIMY, SLIMY SLUGS, all you ppl are pure EVIL, SCIENTOLOGY RULES, you trailer trash, and TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK.

Why do you SLIMY SLUGS always have to twist the words around to make them out to be something vile? IF all of you would pull your heads out of you ass..you would see it says.."After discussing the subject of names, the two decided" Katie is an adult, and if she didnt want to be with Tom she wouldnt be. He was gone most of this last week promoting his movie in Europe and first returned yesterday. If she didnt want to be with Tom she had 4 days to pack up and leave but she didnt...SO get your facts straight...

@114 - you poor misguided thing!...she COULDN'T leave...she's now an official hostage...if she can't even go out alone for a cup of coffee...what makes you so sure she can leave the house with her offspring? duh!!!!

You know what is not suitable for a 27 years old woman either? Being treated like a 10 years old girl by her husband.
Grow Up, KATIE! Take teh child and run for it!
(idiot)

***please note I said "her offspring" and did not mention TC.....just throwin' that out there.....

Believe me I KNOW!! I work at the Celebrity Centre...And I PERSONALLY know she can and could have left ANYTIME she wants or wanted to.

I don't believe that for a minute....he's remade her soul, remade her name....next thing ya know he's going to send her in for an operation to take 3" off her femurs to make her shorter....He finally found a 'mark' that was lacking enough personal identity....someone who was gullible & starstruck enough to get sucked into his cult circus.....Really, really sad......

@114 Sherry-co, good news for you. The branch davidians that didn't die in Waco are getting out soon. You seem to like CULTS. Look them up...

Edna and sherry-cumdumpster have been rather intermittant in their posts because they've been busy carpet munching the hell out of each other.

Hey, Edna. What do heathens taste like? You been hitting her pussy like a box of Oreos. Haven't you, ya fucking whale.

sherry-cunt: what does righteous indignation taste like.

E

Don't know where that "E" came from.

(59)tsarina - Thanks! I knew I'd forget some good ones. DAMN! I hate when that happens...

(61)Queen - If {epidurals are} done properly (and by that I mean slightly overdone), you don't feel shit. They usually turn it down too early, though, "so you can push" and then it hurts like being impaled on Edna's pointy nose

ONE-HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN!! WHOO-HOO!!

it seems that Sherryco is the one who lives a vacant life, worshiping Scientology & lusting to be a celebrity-wannabe-legend-in-her-own-mind in her trailer home and is looking longingly at the McMansions springing up around her....which reminds me.....look out your kitchen window and wave hi!...that's me out on my deck sippin' the margarita!

OMG, how the hell did six people post while I typed that shit?

=0

sherry-co(cksucker),

The press release said "the two decided ..."

TCLTC said, "Katie is a young girl's name. Her name is Kate now – she's a child-bearing woman."

Tom's speaking for his groupie / disciple / beard. Normally, this wouldn't be cause for alarm, but since TCLTC is a follower of Scientology, an alien CULT invented by a science fiction writer that preys on vacant robots like Katie, you can understand the suspicion that she's not rowing with both oars in the water.

Just a thought, ...

@121/122.....you got a problem with E you wanna talk about?

#121 You have been REPORTED! I will pray for you.

Wait... what if we are all wrong? Just what if these two actually love eachother, made sweet love and conceived a beautiful baby girl together? and they really are getting married and bwa hahahahhahhahhah

man, I tried to keep it together... couldn't do it.
TCLTC all the time and twice on Sundays...

#128:

You'd be the first to pray for me. Let me know how that works out.

Anyone remember Tom's big hair-metal hit?

"I luvda cock! (Cock!)
I luvda cock! (Cock!)
I LOVE THE COCK! (Cock!)
I luvda cock! (Cock!)

'Want some gash?' you say
Well all I gotta say to you is time and time again I say 'NO!' (No-no-no-no-no!)
Ask me if I'm gay,
well all I got to say to you while I get ass-laid is 'NO!' (No-no-no-no-no!)
So if you ask me why I like to chug meat- whistle
There's only one thing I can say to you:

I luvda cock! (Cock!)
I luvda cock! (Cock!)
I LOVE THE COCK! (Cock!)
I luvda cock! (Cock!)"

@129......nice try....appreciate the effort! you really had me goin' there for a minute...I thought perhaps you were kidnapped and brainwashed....but glad to see you're still in your right mind...

#41 - So true. I remember on Oprah, he called her "Kate" over and over ... repetition of her "new" name (your name is Kate now), new friends, not allowed to see the old friends = classic brainwashing. What is that theory, that you can brainwash someone in a few days with sleep deprivation??? there's an old article about how she spent her first date with Cruise flying all around the world on a "dinner date," and then she went "missing" for 14 days - no word from her, to friends or family.
I must get his fast-action plan secrets. There's this guy who hasn't been succumbing to my advances fast enough ...

I had 2 babies, no epidurals and made LOTS of noise.... Silent birth, my ass. Tom you are such a faggoty, glib asshole, and I would love to ask you a few questions... How do you explain that your "religion" was created by a science fiction writer??? 50 fuckin' years ago??? How can you justify your beliefs when so many people feel that you are in a cult??? Did you cut our Katie's tongue, and is that why she doesn't talk anymore???? And yet, my life would be rather dull if Tom wasn't spoutin' crazy talk all the time....

Oh, and Edna, you big fat hairy cunt wad, take this advice: Jesus is a myth... Open your eyes, look around the world, and expand your fuckin' mind, if you can. And if you can't, take your bible and crucifix and shove it so far up your ass, your dentist could read John 3:15...

LOL #30

You know sherry-co and Edna are really boring, the fake crap is really old, and I usually change stories when they start posting. But some of the hate-posts rock my socks. As long as you guys keep replying in ridicule instead of true pissed-offednesss, bring 'em on!! I heart you Edna, and the mockery that you inspire.

Why does kidney-scraping (brilliant!) midget man keep hooking up with these gorgeous tall women? He's seriously like 4'2" or something. Like marrying a gay terrier, or something

44:

http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~kimuchi/cthulhu.html

One of those courtroom sketch artists captured the likeness quite well, I think.

sherry-co and edna are still busy munching, otherwise they'd be on here with their lame ass comments. Edna you are soooo boring cum up with something better than "Reported" it's as dry as your pussy.

#97

HAHAHA!!! Oh my goodness BigJim!!!

You are amazing!

haha for the E
BigJim you tickle my jiblets today

Fuck off you whores, BigJim is mine...

You mean you don't remember Tom stating that her name was now Kate many months ago and on Oprah several times. He is an obnoxious fool. Celebs need to shut up. their opinions don't matter. really.
What is sad is how bad an 'actor' he is. Poor katie! He tried to get everyone to call her Kate before and everyone ignored him. Let's ignore him again.

TCLTC!

#138 REPORTED!

Tom Cruise the cock loves. Homo Scientologist ass-clown, he is.

Edna! The rock! Remember, you are suppose to be under it! Crawl on back now you dried up piece of "holy" crap.

MY CHURCH CURED 2 MEN OF THE GAY LAST WEEK. I AM POSITIVE WE COULD CURE TOM CRUISE AS WELL AND I JERKED OFF IN HIS LIBTARD SALAD.

146 - Maybe you can take Edna to church with you and feed her some of the Libtard Salad...I think she'd like it.

#147 HOW ABOUT I JERK OFF IN YOUR LIBTARD EAR?

#148 - NAH DON'T LIKE NO HOMO LIBTARD

Mr. White Shriveled ( WTFC ),

1. What the fuck is a "LIBTARD"? From your post, I get the 'tard part, ...

2. How would you and your fellow churchgoers "CURE" TCLTC of "THE GAY"? Immersion therapy, I'll bet.

You love the cock, Christian ass-clowns!

Dear Mr In_Secure American:
Thanks for your emission to the column. You're obviously a lonely miserable-ass excuse for a human being who can't seem to quit beating his lifeless limp white meat--(the 'cream-of-some-young-guy' thing is so vintage '80's) and it appears that you also you have diarrhea of the mouth as you can't stop telling everyone your asshole fantasies on every fucking site (and no one gives a shit)...Please take your reTard wang and Liberally sprinkle it over hEadna's salad...and DO include some nice raisins as they do seem to keep her regular....and careful to fuckin choke on it on the way down......
It appears that you would be unable to cure anyone of jock itch let alone the horrible shivering 'gay'....so please overdose on aspirin and don't call here in the morning.

p.s. as for your ear problem...please take a look at this diagnosis:
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/040606/ear-dicks.gif

#151

LOL....that's some funny shit......Too Damn Funny!!

#150-

.
.
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`•¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'.~..../
..........''...\.......... _.•´
............\..............(
..............\.............\..
LIBTARD!

glad to see you can at least get one finger up...however I do see that your hand is still stuck in the beat-off position....sad little impotent man....lets hurry and get you back to the tent at once!
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/040806/jerkoff-tent.gif

@153,

(_o_)

LIBTARD ISN'T A WORD! FUCK, I JUST USED A NON-WORD IN A SENTENCE!

He reminds me of my creepy brother who recorded his girlfriends personal greeting message on her phone. So anyone who calls her hear him and not her asking the caller to leave a message. And I'll freely admit (as would she) that he has some "control issues".

@157 - you mean Tom? or you mean the ass-wipe with tossed salad issues?

157 - Thanks to Tom Cocklover Cruise, you know what you have to look forward to. Good luck with that.

SHERRYCO - Eat me. I absolutely fucking hate you.

This has gone way beyond control! WTF is up with this idiot, why doesnt he just change the name of his cock to Princess Sophia and reign free in his gaylord world? I would feel bad for Katie, Kate, or whatever Tom wants to call her this week, but since she is getting a heafty paycheck for this little act she is putting up, hey FINE BY ME! For all we know, by next week she will be named Kris, and his excuse will be that Kate wasn´t wo*man*ly enough to raise their alien spawn....and I am there with #72!

I figured it out!!! Bambrik is Tom Cock´s gay lover, other wise known in the street as Edwardo...I HAVE REPORTED YOU EDNA!!

From the Elliott in the morning website: (It's a DC/Baltimore Radio Station)
Tom Cruise has allegedly frozen out Katie Holmes’ parents. Martin and Kathleen Holmes didn’t find out that they had a granddaughter until they received a phone call from Katie, who was still pretty hopped up on the epidural, as she kept telling them that the baby’s name was “Furry.”

I like Furry way better.

#153

TAKE YOUR FUCKING LIBTARD JACK ME OFF HAND AND GO FUCK EDNA...YOU BOTH NEED IT.

It appears the "libtard" hater might call me "Jesus" if I gave him 10 extra minutes on coffee-break to bury his dead career chances.

Edna's hot new lover is white-insecure-gay-bottom-american. Someone get out the digi-cam, some fruit-flavored lube, and a few choice pieces of veterinary gyno equipment.

#158 and #159 - I meant Tom Cruise.

Is Tom really gay? I don't think he has enough sexual energy to be gay or straight. I think of him as asexual. A small man with Napoleon complex and issues with sex probably due to impotence or being small in the pants. Maybe somebody laughed at his weiner and he hasn't been able to get it up since.

CruisingForCock

I heart you

#153- fucking hilarious! I keep thinking about that and laughing.

This reminds me of the time I took Land-Boy on his first trip to the Nudey Bar. You're a man now, son. You're a Land-Man.
153 - That belongs in the goddam Louvre.

I think LIBTARD means "Liberal Retard" coming from Mr. White Secure American. Hey CONSERVATARD, I wish I had all day to construct ASCII pics from dots and brackets. And if I did it would be a picture of you being ass raped by AIDS infected wolverines.

So I assume that the "ie" in Katie is what he deems young-sounding. And he just named his daughter Suri...so when she grows up and has a baby...should we call her Sur, or maybe Big Sur.
Incidently...if we take the "ie" out of Tom Cruise and feed it into the anagram server we get...scrotum

why is tom cruise so goddamn creepy? can he just shut the hell up and die?

What would I like without the real and fake Ednas, she adds so much to our lives!

What a bad move on Kate Holmes' part. She was the only Katie, and now she's another celebrity with the name Kate, and there's no way you can top a supermodel who does loads of coke and has lesbian sexcapades. So now she's been further relegated to "Tom Cruise's wife, what was her name again? Katie? Kate? Gertrude? Oh wait, I don't care." But as nothing but a mere birthing vessel I can see how her name is insignificant.

My lovelies, sorry I could not bask in the glory of your desire for my incredible manliness last night, but I was, er, kinda busy. If I'd read those posts (139-141) last night, I probably would have been able to go four rounds with the wife instead of three.

krisdylee: I'll be on the coast for a few weeks this summer. I'll keep my eye out for your utter hotness.

Oh, and Edna, can you let me know where you live so I can open a McDonalds, KFC and Krispy Kreme in your neighborhood? That would be a license to print money, you big fat fatty.

Seriously, has anybody seen Katie (er, I mean Kate) since that terrible picture of her with the basketball under her shirt? I am really worried about her. Is she alive? Is she being sedated, "for her own good"? Is she shackled? Is she hooked up to the mind-switching machine? The possibilities are endless. I just find it odd that she has gone missing. And her little dog, too.

You have all been reported!!!!!!!!!

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DID THIS AFTERNOON. I WENT TO SUPERWALMART, WHERE POOR, POT-HEAD, HIPPY LIBTURDS SHOP. WHEN THE STUPID LIBTURD WASN'T LOOKING, I JERKED OFF IN HIS LIBTARD SALAD!

@100 - took me a sec, but I did notice that this pic of kate looks SO much more mature.

and, Edna - i love the character you have created. but i think everyone is catching on now.

My name is Katie... They think my name is too young, that's depressing.

There's a new Edna!

#81--I can totally see Tom forming his own religion:" Cruiseology: The Religion For People Who Want To Make 'All The Right Moves' in Life. And who love the cock. And can drink baby making milk like there's no tomorrow."

Poor Kate. She'll be wearing Martian deely boppers in public next.

@179,

You often find "HIPPIE LIBTURDS" walking around Wallmart stores, who happen to carry unattended salads, into which you conveniently jerk off?

You need help, fucker. Your salad fettish is out of control, ...

@179,

Then again, maybe the only way Mr. 'Tard can get anyone to swallow his load is to secretly toss in their salad.

Hmmmm, ...

EDNA

YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED FOR BEING SO ANNOYING.

You are ridiculous, get a life. Seriously, how much of a loser can you possibly be that you have nothing better to do with your time then threaten to repor people having fun on a OBVIOUSLY fun website. You are a sick twisted person who must not have had any friends and are so bitter about your inability to make friends and be likes that you go after negative attention since its the only way you can get noticed at all.

Maybe if you weren't such a hate-filled person you could find some happiness. Now why don't you take your bible thumping and go fist-f**k yourself.

Thanks, have a lovely day.

Those of you that listen to my words will thank me when you reach the eternal life. It is never too late to be saved. I have many friends who admire what I do. I will save and REPORT people as long as I am on this humble Earth.

oh yeah almost forgot....

This is REALLY creepycrazycontrolling. It wouldn't surprise me if Katie kate i-have-no-voice-of-my-own-controlled-by-tomcruiseisnuts.com never gets another job offer because who in their right mind would want to deal with this insanity??

Oh wait....this is hollywood, duh!!

I don't know Edna that last comment of yours sounded like a death threat.
You're making terrorist threats over communication lines, that, is a federal crime.
You're also making me angry ...you..would ..not LIKE ME WHEN I'M AAAAAANGRY...AARRRRGHHH!!!tan taaan TAN TAAAAN

I'm hoping he's a closetted feeder.

@Edna

... or you could just, you know, hurl a bunch of electro-therapy bibles at the heathen native scum in Africa.

Listen, I'm just saying- a crusade isn't a crusade without some mild-mannered persecution. All the best.

BigJim, my HotCock radar will be turned on this summer... I'll know where you are....

Edna, dear, you will never be able to assimilate us into your ideal christian cult. We have minds, we use our minds, we use our wit and sarcasm for fun, and I am pretty sure the good Lord has a wicked sense of humour. I mean, she created you, right?

The only people who are guilty of anything are those of you who are guilty of crimes against the Lord!!

krisdylee, it is blasphemous to call Christianity a cult. I'd REPORT you to the LORD but he already knows that you are a sinner.

I'm trying to figure out what the deal is with Mr. Gay White Trash Pride American Whatever...

Why does he hate retarded librarians so much? Did they mess up the filing of the Dr. Suess books and he needs to find out how The Cat in the Hat ends? Hell, I'll lone him my copy if it will help him chill out.

On a side note, I'm definitely not going to order salad at the restaurant he works at. I'll eat at krisdylee's instead: "Yes, I'll have the furry, vertical burrito with a side order of bearded clams, hold the tuna zest."

krisdylee: Edna's right. Christianity hasn't been a cult since the Romans were feeding Christians to the lions. Then Constantine made it into the official religion of the Roman Empire in 307 AD (I think), and it ceased to be a cult.

Scientology, however, still is and always will be a cult, so we should be feeding their ilk to lions at will. You catch that, sherry-cumdumpster? I got me a massive feline ready to chow down on your scientologist ass. Please bathe first.

3-0 Flames over Ducks early in the second period. Yeah!

I understand how you people see the world. There was a time when I thought like many of you. Since my breakdown, the Lord has intervened and saved me. And He's enlisted me to save others. I will save the Internet which will save many souls. Someday you will all understand.

Oh, Lord, deliver me
All the wrong I've done
You can deliver me, Lord
I only wanted to have some fun.

Hear the angels marchin', hear the' marchin', hear them marchin',

Edna,

All organized religions are cults, invented to motivate, control and pacify people.

Most religions support the convenient concept of an afterlife, because the belief that we are biochemical machines that eventually fail and decompose isn't comforting.

The concept has been exploited by goverments and religious elite for centuries to control the masses, who are motivated to earn a good afterlife.

I know that billions of humans believe this crap, a few tens of thousands even believe that Xenu blew up aliens on Earth with Hydrogen bombs and unleased body thetans ( TCLTC ), but truth isn't democratic, ...

more importantly, has anyone read anything about what KATIE'S parents think about all this insanity???

oh silly me...they are in love.

Man I wish someone would spill beans on him.

So like, was Penelope crazy or what?

I'm not sure what nationality Yoda is so I don't know where you come from but it is sad that you question the Lord and feel that you know the Truth. Your blindness now will lead to an eternity of damnation that you will be forced to believe in when confronted with it.

Edna,
Go to bed.

Hey Big Fat Fatty Jim, I can tell you luv me and you and Jacq would be forever heart broken should I disappear from your lives one day. So to save your souls I have decided to stay and I can only hope that you one day will see that Scientology is all about empowerment. BTW, everyone in the Holmes & Mapother family are supportive of anything which Tom & Kate choose to decide is best for their family. Besides what concern is it of any of you slimy slugs, what name they use? It is apparent that none of the ppl on SF who leave vile comments as a "form" of entertainment..or even go so far as to say..KRISDYLEE "We have minds, we use our minds, we use our wit and sarcasm for fun" IF your definition of FUN, is spewing untruths, swearing vulgar words and names, and smearing anothers name...It is your SOUL that will need redemption in the end...but sadly there wont be any...but you can count on a black firey eternal afterlife in hell..

Edna & sherry-co(cksucker),

Fear is not a big motivator if you are cult-free.

It's "sad" that you believe that spewing cult mantra on the Internet is a productive use of your time.

I love the slimy slugs stuff though, ...

#203, only if you join me.

any religion that has spawned wars, millions of deaths and countless acts of murder is wrong, in my eyes, and when it is carved out into their unique sect, each one fervently believing they are the only path to righteousness it strikes me as cultish. Christianity is no better than any other religions that take their word from God and twist it to their devices.

Also, I believe that my God gave me a pussy, and as it is drippin' wet, I believe I shall go use it as the Good Lord above intended. Amen.

I'd be more than happy to help you out with that wetness issue.

ditto

I've seen Edna's biography, and it's not pretty :
http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/humor_warnings.html

Arggg I cant stand tom cruise. wtf is katie.. oh i mean kate.. with him? I mean hes not even hot. i guess i could kinda understand about his crazy and posseive nature if he was hot but hes a short lil man pretending hes all good.
Please KATIE leave him and take ur baby while u can !

@fluffy that is so funny and exactly true.

i have seen SO many people begging that girl to take her baby and run. Do you think she's even spoken to it yet? Born little baby.

@HollyJ LOL ahahahahahahaha

i meant poor little baby aha

Wholey Shit!

The opponents design in the first Tomb Raider Game that was made back in 1996 was based on Tom Cruise, TRUE STORY!

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/7970/mutants0ox.jpg

ALL LIBTARDS WILL BE REPORTED!!

SHERRY-CO YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED!

I say ALL bloggers and people who comment continue to call her KATIE and we'll watch Tom explode. Awesome.

Posting because I don't think it can be said enough:

TCLTC!

a lot

Fuck me! Is Edna really that fat?

Yes, Edna really is a sperm whale (a fat fatty who loves the cock).

Bloody hell, Edna. Last night I was cornholing my wife and that image of you from your Yahoo profile popped into my brain: instant softie. I couldn't get it up again with an IV drip of Viagra.

Don't forget to pick up a dozen egg McMuffins on the way to church, and tell Jeezus I said, "Hi, how's it hangin'?"

Mr. Gay White Pride American dude:

I still don't get it. Chronic masturbation aside, why jerk off in people's salads so much? Did they ask for extra anchovies on their caesar but you were all out? What gives?

I'm with you BigJim, I fucking hate sherry-co. I wish she would crawl back up into Edna's oozing vagina and smother to death.

SO what are they going to call their next kid, Ssippi?

Wait for it, you'll get it.

Sherry-cocksucker:

You are the biggest retard on this earth, if you think Scientology is all about "empowerment", think again. It is about taking people's money, L Ron Child-Molester even SAID that, look up a website that isn't official Scientology garbage, and you'll see the truth. Basically it's like all religions: a big fat lie designed to keep stupid people in their place, feed them a bunch of drivel that will control and brainwash them, and coerce them to give the church all their money. Keep spouting off on how all of us are "slimy slugs", but keep in mind that at least we aren't stupid enough to join a church simply because Tom Cocksucker endorses it, you celeb ass-kissing coont. I work hard for my money, and I'd like to keep it instead of being conned by some sci-fi reject's retarded BS.

What about Jennie Garth, Lucy Liu, Kathy Bates, Katie Couric, Ally Larter, Cindy Crawford, they all should change their names to Jennifer, Lucille, Katherine, Kate, Allison, Cynthia, because they are all grown up women???

Tom Cruise is such a moron!! why does Katie even listens to him???, well maybe because she is an idiot but she should do something right for a chance and push him down the stairs of "accidentally" run him over.

You narrow-minded ppl think other forms of religion are any different? The Christian Mass consists of a sermon which directly after they walk row by row collecting MONEY from the congregation. Money which they have "brain-washed" there congregation into believing that it is for "a good cause" At least with Scientology you get something for your money. What do the Christians get for there contribution? DO you even know where that money which is collected DAILY as there are church services every morning, and multiple times on the weekend goes?. ...............I guess Im not the ONLY ..biggest retard on this earth..MS tsarinaamanda

I too work very hard for my money. I am a Nurse Practioner and I see many, many diverse ppl in all walks of life. The Freedom which the USA has given to all of us, gives us the right to not only spend our almighty dollar any way we choose, but also gives us the right to believe in anything we choose to. What makes what you believe in any better than what the next person believes in? Just because I dont sit here and spew vulgar disgusting statements, makes me the enemy. I have the right to feel how I feel, and believe what I believe and along with that right I have the freedom to speak it.

I could understand this forum if it was debating over issues which are brought to the fore front, but that is not the case in this forum. This forum is nothing more than a "SMUT-FEST" where immature vulgar adults come together for one sole purpose and that is to smear, humiliate, and spew untruths which you have twisted in your feeble minds as a form of "entertaiment" If there are any "SAD" souls here, it is everyone of you who CHOOSES to participate in a filthy manner.

MAN!! Who let the 'crazies' in?!? This site USED to be funny - but it has just turned into a 'hate blog' between people who have never even met, and probably never will...

Why does someone always come along and 'kill' the fun stuff?! It never takes long.

Grow up - all of you.

I am changing my 'funny celeb bashing' site...this one has gone down the toilet.

it was necessary well that it finds a girl fairer than him... poor suri

http://www.lezlife.com

it was necessary well that it finds a girl more blonder than him... poor suri

http://www.lezlife.Com

Sherry-co,

Is it that hard to spell out the word "people"?

I'm Catholic and I'm happy to report that as long as I ask for forgiveness - I can do all sorts of bad things, even murder. That's what I get for my contributions.

Then I guess your "CATHOLIC" upbringing totally forgot to instruct you about that one little thing called "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS" Last time I checked.."Thou shall not KILL" was still on that list...Thats not forgiveness..Thats a MORTAL SIN...UNFORGIVEABLE in the eyes of GOD. Ingnorant Catholic at that...

I am reporting ALL disgusting posts!!

Edna go fuck yourself since I'm certain nobody would do you the favor of getting near your skanky pussy

@232 MORTAL sins are forgiveable as long as they are confessed through the sacrament of PENANCE.

And it's ignorant not ingnorant. And it's that's not thats.

Stupid IGNORANT cunt.

#234 You have been REPORTED!

And by the way, both my husband and the Lord, Jesus Christ love my tang. Though Jesus loves my anus more.

sherry-cocksucker,

If you reviewed your posts, I think you would find an abnormally high frequency of use of the following words : slimy, slugs, smear, spew, untruths, sad, filthy, and ( my favorite ) ppl.

I'll propose three scenarios. Let me know if I'm right, ...

a. Homeschooling, probably by an evangelical parent.

b. Scientology schools, which would explain a lot.

c. Florida / Mississippi / Louisiana / South Carolina public school systems.

sherry-cocksucker,

If you reviewed my posts, you would probably find a high use of the words : fuck, bitch, cunt, suck, cock, cult, freak, ... but you deserve each and every one of them ;^)

And in case you forgot, Tom Cruise loves the fat,juicy, cult-worshopping, Scientology cock!

237 & 238 YES YES YES YES!! RIGHT YOU ARE!

Edna your husband does you in the ass because he loves cock and not your "tangy" sour, crusty pussy that's been infested with little creepy crawlers. Edna is a cock sucking fuck me in the ass whore. Report that you bitch ass fuck.

Sherry-co, to play the devil's advocate, yes you are entitled to your own opinions... as uneducated and retarded that they may be.... yet YOU are the one who is on this blog, constantly trying to justify all the crazies in the La-La land known as Hollywood. This makes me think you have no mind of your own, and only spew forth opinions of others, like your priest, Edna, or your pathologically religious zealot of a father, who would whisper these things in your ear late at night after he would come into your room to teach you how to love a man the proper way... You would cry after touching it, wouldn't you? And yet, you still seek his approval. Let loose, Sherry-co and call someone a cuntrag. Hell, call me a cuntrag, as long as you say it like you mean it.