April 20, 2006
Lara Flynn Boyle might have arthritis

Page Six claims 36-year-old Lara Flynn Boyle told her friends in LA that she has arthritis and is using homeopathic remedies to help ease the pain. They follow up the claim by saying Boyle's rep said the rumors are "Not true."
What's the point of following up on a lead if you're going to report it anyway? I might as well make up whatever story I want and just throw in a "their rep said it wasn't true" at the end. This just in, Katie Holmes bought a kangaroo to ride around the house. When asked, her rep responded that the rumors are "Not true." My God, it works!
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Comments
1. Posted by enfilade on April 20, 2006 12:16 PM
First!
http://www.wehateeverybody.com/
2. Posted by Land-Man on April 20, 2006 12:18 PM
I'd like to smash her box...with a goddamn sledge hammer.
3. Posted by ESQ on April 20, 2006 12:19 PM
I guess the stories of her recovering from bulimia or anorexia nervosa have not surfaced yet.
4. Posted by Italian Stallion on April 20, 2006 12:21 PM
Arthritis? I thought she had a boyle.......hehehehehehe.....me so stupid
5. Posted by thetruthhurts on April 20, 2006 12:23 PM
*YAWN* Who the hell cares about this anorexic has been? This site sucks ass lately...WTF?
6. Posted by Chrystal03 on April 20, 2006 12:25 PM
I'd hit it..
7. Posted by Land-Man on April 20, 2006 12:29 PM
I'd slap her around with the big 11" i'm packing downstairs. Fuck u Italian Stallion.
8. Posted by Akapee on April 20, 2006 12:30 PM
Jack Nicholson already hit that so many times that the pussy is disfigured. But I'd still hit that :)
9. Posted by ziggurat on April 20, 2006 12:33 PM
who is this? still LOOKS hot...
10. Posted by mamacita on April 20, 2006 12:34 PM
Land-Man's talking about that 11" t.v. that's in the downstairs living room. He can't be talking about his penis, because as we all know, he has an Air-Cock.
On the subject of Lara Flynn Boyle and her arthritis, who the fuck cares? My grandma's got arthritis too, and I don't see her getting national attention for it. Geez, couldn't she come up with a better ailment if she needed some publicity?
11. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 20, 2006 12:35 PM
"she has arthritis and is using homeopathic remedies"
How can gay people cure arthritis?
12. Posted by pam on April 20, 2006 12:38 PM
36????????
riiiightttt......
13. Posted by Otto on April 20, 2006 12:41 PM
I think I have arthritis to. Everytime I even think about this chicks bony butt I get stiff....And, for the record...I've fucked mamacita's grandmother and she's no Laura Flynn Boyle. Not even close. Though they both smell like lilac and old socks. Hmmm...
14. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 20, 2006 12:44 PM
Anyone here live in Houston?
15. Posted by gsprescueguy on April 20, 2006 12:45 PM
11 - Tom Cruise could cure her, oh no, I let it out that TC is gay!!!! Sorry everyone.
How could she not have arthritis, she has no muscle, tendons or cartilage. How much plastic surgery has she had? She is starting to look older (in plastic surgery) than Joan Collins.
16. Posted by Chrystal03 on April 20, 2006 12:52 PM
I live in Houston.. :)
17. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 20, 2006 12:55 PM
Chrystal- I need 4 tickets to the 2:05 Astros/Pirates game Sunday. If you can hook me up, I'll ravage your body in a sexual frenzy that you have never experienced. Unless you're fat. Then I'll just take the tickets.
18. Posted by mamacita on April 20, 2006 12:59 PM
@13
I'll have you know that my grandmother doesn't smell like lilac and old socks. She smells like cat piss and mothballs.
19. Posted by ThatsHot on April 20, 2006 01:01 PM
I think she's mistaking her "arthritis" pain for the pain of her bones piercing her skin. Yeah, that's gotta be it. By the by, the bitch is a has been. Raise your hand if you care....... It'd be more interesting if she said she and Jack had a 3-way with Diane Keeton and she got herpes, and by George, she'd not sure which one she got it from.
20. Posted by Chrystal03 on April 20, 2006 01:01 PM
LOL...I haven't even been to a game yet, tryin to see who I can sleep with to acquire those tickets. We gotta lotta homeless scalpers down here, I'll see what..err..WHO...I can do for ya papa.. ;)
21. Posted by M@ce on April 20, 2006 01:08 PM
Mamacita is right, definitely cat piss and mothballs...and she makes me wear a doily on my pecker when I give her her 'medicine'.
22. Posted by Iambananas on April 20, 2006 01:08 PM
Who cares about her or her arthritis or her weird skinny body? I don't.
23. Posted by JP on April 20, 2006 01:10 PM
She's using homeopathic therapy? What do gay psychics know about arthritis that a Doctor doesn't??
24. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 20, 2006 01:11 PM
Hey, my grandma has arthritis too, but my grandma doesn't look like a taxidermied hairless cat. She looks more like a Playboy playmate. It runs in the family.
25. Posted by JP on April 20, 2006 01:11 PM
Oh damn, I should read the posts first. Somebody else already used that joke. But i did add the "psychics" part. So let's just say that the previous poster and I accentuated each other rather than repeated.
26. Posted by Jacq on April 20, 2006 01:12 PM
Did they ever catch that gorilla done exscaped from the zoo and punch you in the mouf?
27. Posted by krisdylee on April 20, 2006 01:17 PM
damn, i wish i lived in houston. :-(
28. Posted by gogoboots on April 20, 2006 01:17 PM
Whenever the rep says it's not true, it REALLY is! That's the lesson. She probably got arthritis from being anorexic, it's a proven fact dammit!
29. Posted by Italian Stallion on April 20, 2006 01:28 PM
I don't think I'm gonna come back to this site because Land-Ham doesn't like me. I'm sure you will all be happy now. I had fun while it lasted. Fuck me? That hurts dude, nice to know ya'll..........
30. Posted by Spindoc on April 20, 2006 01:31 PM
Gee, theres a shock, she didn't eat anything for like 10 years and now her body may have responded by trying to digest her joints.
Lara, that isn't arthritis you feel, it's your bones grinding togethether because theres no padding. Go eat some pudding you skinny bitch.
31. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 20, 2006 01:33 PM
Cheer up, Mr. Stallion. Have some Grand Mariner. It'll be like spinach to Popeye, I figure, because Popeye was a mariner, wasn't he?
Word on the street is Land-Man is MeganHarris' boyfriend, which means he is the man-boy with cerebral palsy who she keeps in a pen next to her chickens.
32. Posted by Kbartender on April 20, 2006 01:33 PM
No Mr. Stallion! Don't go you're my favorite. Land-Ham's a tool k? OK!?
33. Posted by Fisher55 on April 20, 2006 01:40 PM
I don't understand why LFB has had so much plastic surgery...she's only, like, 31 years old.
and on a different note: does anyone know the band "Bloc Party...?"
34. Posted by Land-Man on April 20, 2006 01:52 PM
How about a show of support for Land-Man!!! Holla, whoot whoot.
35. Posted by mamacita on April 20, 2006 01:56 PM
@34
Jeebus!!!! Nobody likes you, so for a show of support, may I suggest the Cross My Heart 18-hour bra? It's comfy AND beautiful!!
36. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 20, 2006 01:58 PM
I bet Lara Flynn Boyle also wonders why her throat feels scratchy after she purges.
37. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on April 20, 2006 02:16 PM
Arthritis is what she gets for fucking Jack Nicholson. He gave her arthritis of the pussy, a little known elderly transmitted STD. It's side-effects are premature aging and acting like a dumb cunt.
38. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on April 20, 2006 02:16 PM
#36:
*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*
(That's crickets you hear, Bitty Schlong)
39. Posted by Spindoc on April 20, 2006 02:18 PM
Please stop picking on Mamacita, if she quits posting here I won't have anybody correcting my spelling. ;)
Oh yeah, I had Lara Flynn Boyle over for dinner...I should have just taken the food off the stove and put it directly into the toilet, would have saved both of us time.
40. Posted by hendero on April 20, 2006 02:18 PM
she obviously caught arthritis from Jack Nicholson.
41. Posted by mamacita on April 20, 2006 02:23 PM
@39
Ain't that the truth? Besides the fact that I, much like OshKosh, also have tits that are super high and firm.
42. Posted by SuperSpence on April 20, 2006 02:35 PM
Arthritis wouldn't be a good thing for this woman because I believe it's been confirmed that her body mass is 92% bone.
43. Posted by HollyJ on April 20, 2006 02:38 PM
I'm putting my money on osteoarthritis resulting from extreme anorexia.
BTW, she needs to lay off the face lifts and lip injections. If she pulls her skin up and back anymore, her eyes will be permanently pulled shut. :::: pipe in theme music "I think I'm turning Japanese" ::::
44. Posted by MeganHarris on April 20, 2006 02:44 PM
Land-Man, you have no idea what your getting yourself into. If they think you are my boyfriend, they are going to run with it. no matter what.
45. Posted by Libraesque on April 20, 2006 02:57 PM
My friend went to high school with her, at prom she dragged some guy, who was not the guy she went with, into the bathroom, fucked him, then threw up all over herself hahahahahah.
46. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 20, 2006 03:02 PM
Chrystal- what's up with the tickets? Let me know, OK hotpants?
Land-man, I know you have a beef with a few on here, but please don't let MeganHarris give you advice. You'd be better off asking a quadrapalegic for long-distance running techniques.
47. Posted by booface on April 20, 2006 03:06 PM
MeghanHarris is the funniest person on this site.
I'm not joking. Thank you, MeghanHarris.
48. Posted by booface on April 20, 2006 03:09 PM
Isn't the Cross My Heart bra for fat chicks?
49. Posted by Land-Man on April 20, 2006 03:24 PM
ask Jacq
50. Posted by Trotter on April 20, 2006 03:46 PM
MeganHarris is already trying to protect her boyfriend, Landclam. Those basement-dwelling tranny's stick together you know. Its from all the body parts they're preserving; they ooze gluey plasma...
51. Posted by Trotter on April 20, 2006 03:49 PM
@19 I totally agree, she doesn't have arthitis, she has "Ouch my rib broke through my belly button-itis"
52. Posted by suzy on April 20, 2006 03:54 PM
of course she has arthritis.. she's nothing but bones
53. Posted by Skullyzena on April 20, 2006 04:04 PM
WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
54. Posted by jkough on April 20, 2006 04:07 PM
But Katie Holmes does ride a kangaroo. It was in fact the kangaroo and not Tom impregnating her. I'm just amusing myself here. Ok I'll shut up now.
55. Posted by mamacita on April 20, 2006 04:37 PM
@48
"Isn't the Cross My Heart bra for fat chicks?"
I don't know, but I saw a super awesome commercial about it on t.v. and it said "Now with an easy front closure" and at the end, the big bitch wearing it says "I can do ANYTHING in 18 hours". I don't know what the hell that means, but it's gotta be true cause it was on t.v.
56. Posted by MeanNate on April 20, 2006 04:52 PM
If she doesn't already have arthritis, I'd like to hump her until she does.
Ba-ZING!
57. Posted by Jacq on April 20, 2006 05:07 PM
#49 - I am going to assume from here on out that you and MeganHarris fit together like a juigsaw puzzle of mish-mash of genetalia, boobs and teeth poking through your lips.
58. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 20, 2006 05:20 PM
55 - I think she meant she can EAT anything in 18 hours.
59. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 20, 2006 05:23 PM
MeanNate have you seen "Happiness"?
"I'm gonna hump her so hard she'll have come spraying out of her ears!"
60. Posted by Derek Hail on April 20, 2006 06:31 PM
I don't even know who she is.
61. Posted by Drunk Blogger on April 20, 2006 06:41 PM
Damn.
62. Posted by Jacq on April 20, 2006 07:25 PM
@57 - *jigsaw* *genitalia* *LandClam*
63. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on April 20, 2006 07:40 PM
I'd get arthritis too after 20 years of bending over a casting couch.
64. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on April 20, 2006 07:46 PM
Wasn't there a rumor awhile back that ol' Jack made this has-been bleach her anus? Anything to get away from that face.
65. Posted by bakismaki on April 20, 2006 10:21 PM
Man, Lindsay Lohan and Lara Flynn Boyle can pass for twins these days. Lindsay really needs to lay off that coke or at least have a meal or two between bathroom visits.
66. Posted by E.R. on April 21, 2006 05:49 AM
"I might as well make up whatever story I want and just throw in a "their rep said it wasn't true" at the end."
Heh! That's 80% of the "news" these days! "Person X Denies Wild Non-Rumour Invented By Storyless 'Journalist' After 7th Double Whisky Shocker!"
67. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on April 21, 2006 11:20 AM
I bet she has arthritis of the knees and pelvic joints. It's commonly referred to as "F*cking Your Way to the Top Syndrome".
68. Posted by Nimuë LaMer on April 21, 2006 11:24 AM
Banging her must be like sticking your dick into a bag of pretzel rods.
What's with those lips? It's not arthritis, it's silicone poisoning!
69. Posted by Spindoc on April 21, 2006 02:51 PM
I just can't believe that bleaching your anus is actually an on the table option. I mean who other than porn stars that do anal close ups would get that?!
Savannah, time for your double penetration anal close up..thats right and....Whoa! Girl, you needs ta get some bleach up in there FAST!
I just don't see it.
70. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on April 21, 2006 03:17 PM
Spindoc, I wouldn't put anything past Crazy Lara. I mean, you have to be pretty fucked in the head to let Jack Nicholson crawl on top of you.
But yeah, apparently "bleaching of the anus" is a legitimate cosmetic procedure.
#68 - Do you think Lara has a cervix or was Jack hitting up against bone marrow?