gross

perhaps he is the guy in the picture of Pitt & baby taking a leak & has got the cock of all cocks. That's the only reason behind this pairing, although she was with Sambora forever and he's a huge pussybag with a mangina.

He's not that ugly. He's just short. And she's short.

He's funny. And women like that. Not a revelation, guys.

Also, they all want publicity so it's all probably just fake anyway.

"I saw it with my own eyes. Last night at Arnie Morton's restaurant in Burbank, Spade and Locklear were making out in a booth while three of their friends looked on. But dig this: SHE was all over HIM!! My $36 double cut filet nearly came back up on me. Yikes!!"
I'm more interested in the ridiculously faggety fag-hag SoCal brat they got this awesome quote from. When I read it my 99 cent hot n' spicy McChicken and $2 40 oz of Old English almost came up in my mouth a little bit. I'll bet it was SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer, because I hate her.

You know that Spade was making fun of himself and this story on his show last night?

He had a magazine cover with their new combined name on the front--"Lockqueer". I think he's pretty funny, although you people might hate him because he does basically the same thing for a whole lot more money, and he's fucking Heather Locklear, among others.
I also liked the bit where he hired an illegal immigrant to be his new personal assistant.

Spade must have a massive penis....yeah, my money's on a massive penis

http://www.thevelvethottub.com

actually, Spade was ahead of the internet celeb bashing sites with his old SNL "Hollywood Minute" bit. That was pretty funny too.

#4: If it was SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer the quote would have been 4 times longer and included a bunch of inane quotes like "luv u guys!!!!!!!".

I hate that chick too, with a PASSION!

She's really old.

I would also like to add that David Spade has real prettier hair than her, however they're both rodent-like except he looks more like a weasel and Locklear is more like a tired-looking hamster. David Spade wins beause he is funny and while Locklear is merely good at appearing surprised and tight-faced on shitty sitcoms.
Spade 3: Locklear 0

doesn't he look like a skinnier chuck norris in that photo? a stranger walker texas ranger?

I'm sorry about my grammar. Oh, wait... no I'm not. Bitches.

It makes perfect sense.

He is certainly a step up from Tommy Lee... AND Heather dated Tommy when she was still very young and much much hotter.

My issue with David Spade is that he looks a little bit like a cross of Mary Tyler Moore and that puppet "Madam" of Wayland Flowers and Madam

#4 Haw, haw.

Why do people keep insisting other people are jealous because he's bedding that old trout?

Agreed #9, her makeup is starting to look more like spackle than coverup.

Something new please!!! Last time they showed this I said if this is true, somebody just shoot me.......

a little help....anyone.....just pretend like I broke my leg

oshie koshie, youre such a h8r. *passes the spliff*
david spade is hilarious, i'd do him. (yea btw im a girl, but im still flattered by someone saying "he's hot" on the other post)
heather locklear makes me wanna pull my hair out at the roots and then punch her in the face with the clumps up hair still strangled between my fingers while yelling "look what you made me do now melrose place"

I don't know why anyone is surprised. Nostradamus predicted this would happen.

Chicks dig funny guys? Yeah. I'm sure that's why she is with him. Maybe it's the fact that she hasn't done shit except blow a few gay rockers and have failed shitty shows. Spade at least has some sort of career. But the bottom line is that Tom Cruise loves the cock.

HARD CANDY is an edge-of-your seat thriller that blurs the line between internet predator and prey.

"Absolutely terrifying! Once it lands its hooks in you, there's no tearing away." Eric Campos, Film Threat

"'Fatal Attraction' for a new generation." Peter Hammond, Maxim

"It'd be like a beautiful swan falling in love with a monkey. Only the monkey is short. And ugly. And all the other monkeys hate him because he tells bad jokes and looks like a rodent. And maybe eats his own poo."

Well, well, well. Looks like I'm not the only scatologist on the Superficial today. YAY!!!! OMG that's like, so hawttttttt!!!! That was especially for you OshKosh and LookatMe. Oh wait, I almost forgot. Luv you guys and babes<3<3<3

What's this couples catchy nickname going to be? Spadelock, Leardav, it's gotta be something catchy and stupid.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

When I want to go to Morton's, it's not because I want to eat someone's face. I go for the $36 steak. They however, look like they can't remember their last meal.

Mamacita, is tomorrow your favorite day because it is Scat-rday? Sorry, that was bad. Kick me in the shin.

seminole, I saw that david spade show last night, and he said that they were not going out, and he was making fun of the fact that people think they're together just because they were in the same room. He also made fun of himself not being good enough for her.

Spade is cool...ish...
I say, more power to him!

holy shit, they look alike, Spade may have actually f**ked his long lost sister...what a sick bastard...

#12

Where's Kim when you need your grammar corrected?

Kim took her meds today, so that personality is being repressed. I'm sure some other facet will appear, ala NewGuy.

I thought Kim was in the restraint room because she was trying to eat the glue at Arts and Crafts group?

newsflash
Kim has been abducted by Tom Cruise aboard his alien space ship, the aliens are now threatening to conduct anal probing unless Paris redeem's herself by singing "I'm a good ship lollipop" to the arab nation.

There's something about David Spade that is a little creepy, but I still like him. I think she's the one who got the good end of that deal, so to speak.

Fuck it. It's all for publicity.

And he's not particularly unattractive; just normal.

It's so easy to throw insults out there. Get some imagination before it's too late.

Mamacita thanks for teaching us all about scatologists. I thought you had taken a sudden unnatural interest in listening to Ella Fitzgerald records.

So here's the thing. Are people reacting to the fact that Heather is way out of Spade's league. Anyone really taken a good look at some of her past choices? Spade is probably way smarter than any of them.

"Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share." "Heather left home for a blonde haired squirrel, but I still don't seem to care....."

That is just a big bowl of wrong.

they say that ugly guys try harder.. he might be rocking her world
a girl might be better off riding the hobby horse with someone as ugly as a baboon's ass

Anyone else think that she's with David Spade to piss off Richie Sambora? Richie DID cheat on her, so what better way to get back at him than to replace him with a short little geek.

If Sambora decided to whip Spade's ass over that dried up ol' woman, it'd look like 2 women catfighting.

Anyone watch Discovery channel? On Animal Cops Detroit last night, I saw that Kim was arrested for kitten juggling. Apparently it's a real problem. I saw MeganHarris on another Discovery program, but she had a plate in her lip and her tits were hanging all over the place.

Ummm, why are we not talking about Lindsay making Jessica cry already?! It is on the cover of this week's Us Weekly, which people are free to borrow after I'm done.

mamacita and david spade have something in common

I don't think Heather is all that and a bag of chips, however, David, although slightly on the weasel side of the looks department, is mother-fucking hilarious... See, cuz I've seen Emporer's New Groove about 329 times (only cuz of my damn kids, mind you)

That disgusts me. I wrote about that a couple a days ago on my blog. I just don't see how David Spade could pull Locklear in.

Nah, Locklear is the one pulling David in. And out. Then in again, then out, then in, in , in, in, oooouuuuutttt, iiinnnnnn, ininininininininininini aaaahhhhhhh....

Hey, I work in that building... It seems...soiled, now.

I bet that Spade guy is swing a big stick.

Well as old man Michael Douglas might say:

"I'll tell you what the problem with Heather Locklear is, them drugs and roofies she's been takin' them," wait a second, HEY!! HEY!! you fucking kids, get off my lawn!!

She was quoted saying she was doing it to get back at Richie Samobora because he thinks he's such a stud and it's freaking him out to see her dating such a scrawny little guy. Yeah, really, because nothing says screw you like doing the nerd from your high school, who still weighs less than you, even when you are Heather Locklear.

How does David Spade have a life, much less a career in this town?

#23 How about "improbable" or "PRStunt"?

Also re: earlier comments - weasels are mustalids, not rodents.

Wow...that has to be the first time "re" or "mustalid" has ever appeared on the 'Fish. Huzzah!

I cant believe this. Are we supposed to believe Jessica and Lohan are fight over Brett Ratner?

Funny is good...it is what keeps my husband married...that and good head...anyhoo..

Damn. Wrong post. I'm drunk. Uh,.. I dont believe Spade and Locklear. I think Spade is smooching with no one.

Two wash-ups clinging to each other for dear life. This is what happens when you get too old for the casting couch. I mean, David can't take a pounding like he used to.

EW! I wish I've never read this. Gross!

the only reason I find this acceptable is because Spade is hillarious, and heather locklear hit the wall...face first, and developed a fondness for lucky charms, and Spade drugged her, and I'm a jealous bastard

the only reason I find this acceptable is because Spade is hillarious, and heather locklear hit the wall...face first, and developed a fondness for lucky charms, and Spade drugged her, and I'm a jealous bastard

"SHE was all over HIM"

Ew. Eeeew. Ew. Ew. Eeeeuuuuuwwwwwww....

If I had been the unlucky observer of such a scene, I think I would have had to boil my eyeballs.

Look, the Spadester has always had the charisma for attracting hot chicks, supermodels, morning glories, etcetera. Sure, he looks like a shaggy ferret with halitosis, but there it is. Freak of nature. And the thing is, HE BREAKS UP WITH THE GIRLS - not the other way around! Not one girl he has ever dated has ever gotten out of bed in the middle of the night and screamed, "WHAT AM I DOING? I'M SLEEPING WITH AN ALBINO POLECAT!!!!" Watch - she'll fall hopelessly in love with him and then he'll drop her like a ten ton anvil falling off the back of a semi, crashing into freeway traffic - ugly, horrifing but unnervingly fascinating to watch.

This isn't surprising. She likes the douchebags, who in Hollywood doesn't?
Now if she was making out with Stephen Hawking that would be surprising.

Yeah, I'm gonna put money on the big penis. He's one of those guys who is only funny because He can joke on topical humor faster then anyone else can. Trust me, if people didnt like topical humor, or slightly outdated refrences, he and Dennis miller would be OUTTA HERE!!

Scum, both of them, but for different reasons. ''Lockqueer'' should definitely keep their PDAs to themselves, or maybe they SHOULDN'T, because now Richie is laughing all the way to court

Respect the wang!!!

No brainer.

He's a perfect rebound guy .....makes her laugh.

#54 You're pretty familiar with that concept "smooching with no one", aren't ya?

Uhhh...David Spade is hot. I'd do him. People make fun of me, but I've always had a huge celebrity crush on him. So what? He's funny. That's attractive. Get over it.

#36, Italian Stallion, nice Zepplin parody there. Tommy Lee was always a douchebag and he used to beat up Heather as well as Pamela Anderson. Maybe David Spade is a rebound guy and there's nothing wrong with that kinda of lovin.

Tina Fey said it best, "You can really fuck above your station if you're funny."

#66 - I would have to agree with your comment. Perfect boyf probably only exists in the mirror.

This has only solidified one thing in my mind - if I ever run into David Spade, I'm going to whip his loser fuckin' ass.

Whomever was going to boil their eyeballs, a little Windex will do and it doesn't hurt as much.

Anytime I have seen David Spade in public it has been with a beautiful woman. Not just typical beautiful, not just usual hot chick with famous dude, but with a 10++ model type, absolutely gorgeous. Heather Locklear looks like a few steps back in comparison.

Yeah, I don't understand it either.

#52 and 54 - MeganHarris, it's not "drunk" when you have too much latte at the poetry slam, you indie-trash emo whore.

David is HOT. He is in my top 4....

1) Rivers Cuomo
2) Kurt Cobain
3) Steve Buscemi
4) David Spade

David is HOT. He is in my top 4....

1) Rivers Cuomo
2) Kurt Cobain (dead guys rule)
3) Steve Buscemi
4) David Spade

Maybe she is trying to show Richie up- Look what I'm banging now. But i expect his reaction is ewwwww-now i understand why you were not attracted to me- you wanted to bang a tiny little boy who got his ass kicked by his assisant

oshkoshb-whatever-the-hell-your-name-is:

get a life.

I sometimes go out with a guy who looks like David Spade and I think he's hot.

People who post at #76 at 2:26 am have no business telling other people to get a life. Unless you are talking to yourself. Then it would be ok.

I agree with number 75. Heather's a joke.
Richie doesn't deserve a fake like her anyway, Richie deserves a better woman. Someone that isn't a celebrity.

I agree with number 75. Heather's a joke.
Richie doesn't deserve a fake like her anyway, Richie deserves a better woman. Someone that isn't a celebrity.

and Number 2... Richie is sure as hell a lot of a better man than all the other hoebags Heather dated. So be quite about him.

I agree with number 75. I thought her taste in Richie was good, but her other two tastes are getting worser. I guess she likes ugly men than good looking ones. That ugly rat.

Heather's nothing but a old hoebag. She gets with a guy, dumps him, goes for another, and dumps him too, and now she's dating a ugly short non-talented prick. She's a slut.

And Number 2.. be quiet. Richie was sure as hell was a lot better of a husband than Tommy, and I'm sure he was a better man than that ugly mouse David Spade too. You have no life.

I agree with number 75. I thought her taste in Richie was good, but her other two tastes are getting worser. I guess she likes ugly men than good looking ones. That ugly rat.

Heather's nothing but a old hoebag. She gets with a guy, dumps him, goes for another, and dumps him too, and now she's dating a ugly short non-talented prick. She's a slut.

And Number 2.. be quiet. Richie was sure as hell was a lot better of a husband than Tommy, and I'm sure he was a better man than that ugly mouse David Spade too. If I was with Richie I would as hell be one happy girl. He seems like a total sweetheart anyway. I rather be with him than that sicko Tommy Lee and David Spade. Ugh.

I agree with number 75. I thought her taste in Richie was good, but her other two tastes are getting worser. I guess she likes ugly men than good looking ones. That ugly rat.

Heather's nothing but a old hoebag. She gets with a guy, dumps him, goes for another, and dumps him too, and now she's dating a ugly short non-talented prick. She's a slut.

And Number 2.. be quiet. Richie was sure as hell was a lot better of a husband than Tommy, and I'm sure he was a better man than that ugly mouse David Spade too. If I was with Richie I would as hell be one happy girl. He seems like a total sweetheart anyway. I rather be with him than that sicko Tommy Lee and David Spade. Ugh.

I agree with number 75. I thought her taste in Richie was good, but her other two tastes are getting worser. I guess she likes ugly men than good looking ones. That ugly rat.

Heather's nothing but a old hoebag. She gets with a guy, dumps him, goes for another, and dumps him too, and now she's dating a ugly short non-talented prick. She's a slut.

And Number 2.. be quiet. Richie was sure as hell was a lot better of a husband than Tommy, and I'm sure he was a better man than that ugly mouse David Spade too. If I was with Richie I would as hell be one happy girl. He seems like a total sweetheart anyway. I rather be with him than that sicko Tommy Lee and David Spade. Ugh.

I agree with number 75, totally.
Number 2, get a life.

Heather sucks. She's a slut. Richie should've married someone so much better than her. IT was a big mistake for him to marry that woman. She's a slut.

Good luck to David and Heather... I highly doubt they're going to last long. Heather is nothing but dumb blonde hoebag.

I agree with number 75, totally.
Number 2, get a life.

Heather sucks. She's a slut. Richie should've married someone so much better than her. IT was a big mistake for him to marry that woman. She's a slut.

Good luck to David and Heather... I highly doubt they're going to last long. Heather is nothing but dumb blonde hoebag.

I agree with number 75, totally.
Number 2, get a life.

Heather sucks. She's a slut. Richie should've married someone so much better than her. IT was a big mistake for him to marry that woman. She's a slut.

Good luck to David and Heather... I highly doubt they're going to last long. Heather is nothing but dumb blonde hoebag.

I agree with number 75, totally.
Number 2, get a life.

Heather sucks. She's a slut. Richie should've married someone so much better than her. IT was a big mistake for him to marry that woman. She's a slut.

Good luck to David and Heather... I highly doubt they're going to last long. Heather is nothing but dumb blonde hoebag.

you fkcing suck!

err,...Rope? why dontcha find a nice secluded place and hang yourself. Make it really secluded so you won't be found 'til wild animals have feasted on your festering entrails. Your remains will then be found by a some nature hikers and reported to the local police.

i heard that whenever richie sambora wanted to hang with the guys heather would call him constantly she was a real bitch, but whenever she wanted to take separate vacations he had to go along with it..summary: richie= big stupid penis = sucker, heather =bitch on wheels amen

For all those out there who don't like that David maybe with Heather or this post... Get over yourself, It's not all about you. Has anybody ever thought that celebs are just regular people with a little more cash than us. They have all the ranges of emotion we do they are just in the lime light more and their lives are more accessible to the world. Maybe Spade makes her laugh and feel good about her being who she is. Maybe she likes how he treats her. maybe you neh sayers are jealous. And maybe, just maybe, they could be happy if it is true.

monkeymadness you're just trying to get people to argue with you. Can see right thru it... loser.

#85: Rope wants to totally fuck Richie Sambora!!! Queer...

76 - MeganHarris, I have a life and in said life there will be a moment where I will find you and expose you for who you really are, then you will be ashamed and all your black eyeliner will run down your cheeks. Then I will take your latte and pee in it, make you drink it, and the force you to sing your favorite Portishead song while I tear up your "scrapbook", which is basically just a bunch of crap you cut and pasted out of The New Yorker and Out magazine with drawings of drooping roses and eyes with a single tear falling from them. I will do this because I am awesome.

ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rope agrees with #75. That is all.

12 posts in a row rope? that a record?

#69 said: Tina Fey said it best, "You can really fuck above your station if you're funny."

True, but how does that apply here?

My guess, Locklear's in it for the free Kate Spade swag.
It's how he gets all his chicks.

rope wants to have sexual relations with Richie Sambora - I don't know if you guys knew that. Yeah I did too... back in 1986.

rope = fag.

oshkoshb-%*&$@i97f982;2i4y7

You seem to really know a lot about those type of girls. Art School girls? Goth chicks? What's the matter, been turned down by them? They wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire? Don't worry, theres a girl out there for you. Some haven't broken out yet, though, i know

Yah monkey that love stuff is great and all but this is Hollywood, and we're talking about Heather Locklear, (who dated Tommy Lee for got sakes) I give them 2 months.

Ok, first Jerry Oconnell gets a beautiful woman, and now this Super Dork - I thought it was amasing how he landed the " Captial One" Commericals, but now this?! What can it be that causes this beautiful woman to fall in love with the frog, that might never become a prince? Maybe he tells sad Chris Farley stories...? WHAT,WHAT,WHAT is it? Why would a woman down grade like this? Its 2006, everyone upgrades EVERYTHING, why should your man be any different!?

SHE IS WAY GROSSER THAN HIM!