April 11, 2006
Jennifer Lopez sues ex-husband
Jennifer Lopez filed a suit against her ex-husband Ojani Noa yesterday because he demanded $5 million to not publish a book about their relationship, violating a confidentiality agreement by distributing the manuscript to publishers. According to the NewYork Post, his book The Unknown Truth: A Portrait of a Serial Thriller claims Lopez cheated on him with an Anaconda castmate and had an affair with Marc Anthony while he was still married to Dayanara Torres.
All very shocking stuff, excpet that nobody cares. The biggest surprise that'll come out of the book is that Jennifer Lopez was once married to a guy named Ojani Noa. We already know she took a crap on Ben Affleck, so anything else this guy comes up with is automatically boring.
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Comments
1. Posted by suzy on April 11, 2006 11:43 AM
first?!
2. Posted by Baroness on April 11, 2006 11:43 AM
Yep, she's had a nose job since then.
3. Posted by mandeena on April 11, 2006 11:45 AM
And some eye work, too
4. Posted by biatcho on April 11, 2006 11:47 AM
definitely looks more latina chica here (aka one of the FlyGirls)than the wannabe glam movie star she thinks she is.
fat ass pig.
5. Posted by Grphdesi23 on April 11, 2006 11:57 AM
We all know that Jenny has been around the block.
Ojani Noa could have saved some time but just keeping his book down to one line that reads....
"That bitch ruined my life."
6. Posted by Italian Stallion on April 11, 2006 11:58 AM
His book is 100 pages long, and there is one picture of Jen's naked ass....See page's 21 thru 100 to check it out.....
7. Posted by Zanna on April 11, 2006 12:01 PM
Ha! Yea, she looks ALOT different in that picture. Good thing he ended up with Jennifer Garner...the baby is cuter than one he'd of had with JLo.
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/introducing/introducing_violet_affleck_20060411.php
8. Posted by LRonHubbaHubba on April 11, 2006 12:04 PM
Where were they married? I thought drag queen unions were still illegal.
9. Posted by star_strat45 on April 11, 2006 12:11 PM
You spelt "except" worng..
10. Posted by Ed Kohler on April 11, 2006 12:13 PM
When I saw the headline I thought, "which one?" Had it only been Afflek with a first-hand account of the poop story, I may be interested.
11. Posted by ApplewtoAwesome on April 11, 2006 12:17 PM
Spelt is also not a word... it's 'spelled'. Nice one!
*golf clap*
Condescending prick.
12. Posted by YapYapYap on April 11, 2006 12:21 PM
That ain't that fatt ass biatch Lopez, that Tori Spelling *before* major renovation (courtesy of Exteme Home Makeover, hence the total FUBAR).
13. Posted by SuperSpence on April 11, 2006 12:24 PM
Who hasn't taken a crap on Ben Affleck? I've done it three times and it's old news by now. I won't do it again for him for less than $5000.
14. Posted by YapYapYap on April 11, 2006 12:27 PM
# 11 well, who's the dumb cow now:
spelt...
1) is a kind of wheat
AND
2) the perfectly correct past tense and past participle of the verb 'to spell' - but maybe only so in proper democracies.
15. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 11, 2006 12:30 PM
I can hardly await the juicy secrets we'll be hearing when this guy appears on "Tyra" and "FOX News with Greta Van Susteren". I wonder if he'll let slip that part in chapter 6 about her taco-flavored keeesses.
16. Posted by PostmanR on April 11, 2006 12:32 PM
This book would have been relevant, say, 3-4 years ago when people actually gave a damn about jenny from the block. who does P.R. for this Noa character?
17. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 11, 2006 12:47 PM
God I hope these immigration laws get tougher.
And she wasn't cheating with an "Anaconda" castmate. She actually fucked an anaconda. They married soon after, but Jen broke it off after seeing "Air Bud" on TV and decided she wanted to hump a really wacky golden retriever. Then they broke up after she see saw "Night of the Living Dead" and wanted to marry a zombie, whom she is still married to today.
18. Posted by eiram_1 on April 11, 2006 12:52 PM
But which Anaconda co-star was she getting busy with? Ice Cube? Owen Wilson? Heh... Jon Voight? That's what I wanna know.
19. Posted by Pearly on April 11, 2006 01:02 PM
It was definetely Jon Voight, she could be Angelinas step-mom! Now that would be an interesting story. Unlike this one.
20. Posted by The Lazy Asian on April 11, 2006 01:10 PM
she might look better now, but she still sucks.
21. Posted by ablet on April 11, 2006 01:15 PM
That is such a sexy picture of J Lo.
22. Posted by gogoboots on April 11, 2006 01:38 PM
Again? I always believed that Marc Anthony cheated on Dayanara with J. Lo, there's utterly no doubt in my mind!
23. Posted by monkeymari on April 11, 2006 01:46 PM
Who really cares about J HO anyway??? come on Superficial....this woman has no talent but "HO ing" around...
24. Posted by Jacq on April 11, 2006 03:22 PM
#15 - Loved that South Park episode, too.
She may have money and she may have come up, but she's still just a Fly Girl. Trash. Her new husband is the diva in that pair.
25. Posted by MeganHarris on April 11, 2006 04:04 PM
On point.. sharp sharp critisizm. and who IS this guy anyway?
26. Posted by krisdylee on April 11, 2006 05:37 PM
which one is J Lo?
27. Posted by biatcho on April 11, 2006 05:59 PM
#26: she has since shaved the prison pussy off of her face so try to imagine that gone & you'll see her in the picture for sure...
28. Posted by star_strat45 on April 11, 2006 07:03 PM
*~Thank you #14 :)~*
#11- what f-ing planet are you on? 'Planet America'?? Spelt is past tense of "spell", I'm British you mo-fo I would know :)sucka
29. Posted by Evangelia on April 11, 2006 07:27 PM
#11 - i though #9 was being sarcastic by spelling "spelled" as "spelt", until i read her last comment.
it's SPELLED, limey. i'm american and have better teeth than you, i would know.
30. Posted by LaydeeBug on April 11, 2006 09:33 PM
Yayyyy, a J Low post. I love to hate her. And, surprise, she's looking as ugly as her personality.
That bitch needs surgery man....she's missing a bridge on her nose. I guess she sold it for an undisclosed amount before she realized she'd need it to hold up her Chanel shades.
Now I know why I've been depressed....I need my Fish. I've been away tooooo long.
31. Posted by Pez_D_Spencer on April 11, 2006 10:03 PM
Ladies and gentlemen: Your Mr. & Mrs. Big Lots for 1997!!! Aren't they lovely?
32. Posted by mciahelvartan on April 11, 2006 10:52 PM
JHO AND HER THIRD SO FUGLY HUSBAND,
CAN NOT BE TRUSTED OF THEIR WORDS,
BECAUSE, EVEN, THE DOCTRINE, OF
THEIR OWN RELIGION, THEY HAVE
BROKEN IT AND HAVE NO RESPECT.
THE MOMENT, THESE TWO LOSERS, HAVE
ADMITTED OF THEIR MARRIAGE, IMMEDIATELY,
THEY WERE ALREADY, EXCOMMUNICATED, YA
BABY.
JHO AND HER THIRD UGLY HSUBAND THOUGHT,
BY DOING SO, EVERYTHING WILL TURN, OR
CHANGE SOMETHING. THERE'S NO TURNING
BACK YOU FOOLS, ACCEPT REALITY, YOU
FOUGHT THE LAW, BUT, THE LAW WON,
LET'S BASE, UNDER, THE CATHOLIC DOCTRINE,
SINCE, THEY'RE ALL CATHOLICS.
WHAT HAPPENED, IT CAN NEVER BE BROUGHT
BACK FOREVER, THAT'S WHY, IT'S GOODBYE
FOREVER, NO TURNING BACK THIS TIME,
FOREVER, WOHOO!! AND YEAH, JHO AND
HER THIRD FUGLY HUSBAND, THEIR CAREERS
ARE DOWN, 'CAUSE, THEY HAVE BROKEN
THE CATHOLIC DOCTRINE. PROVING,
THESE TWO, CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED, TRUST ME.
BYEBYE, TO YOU TWO, FOREVER, LOSERS!!
33. Posted by dirtypiratehooker on April 11, 2006 10:55 PM
Hey J Lo, if you have been married 87 times....maybe it's you.
34. Posted by star_strat45 on April 11, 2006 11:01 PM
#29, Nope..look it up :) It'll be nice if you could expand your vocabulary...'spelled' my ass.
35. Posted by mamacita on April 11, 2006 11:12 PM
@32
Geez. Do you and Whitney Houston hang out sometimes? Like, every day maybe? Put the crack pipe down and step away from the keyboard. Wait, turn your CAPS LOCK off first. OK, now step away.
36. Posted by mommy_long_legs on April 12, 2006 01:00 AM
mamacita...you have the most hilarious posts. this has nothing to do with jennifer lopez.
37. Posted by mamacita on April 12, 2006 08:31 AM
@36
Well, I try. #32's post was the most blatant overuse of CAPITAL LETTERS, commas, and the phrase 'THIRD FUGLY HUSBAND' that I've ever seen in my life. I'm still trying to decide if English is his/her second language, if he/she is diving into a vat of liquefied crack regularly, or if he/she is completely insane. Maybe it's all of the above.
38. Posted by star_strat45 on April 12, 2006 11:51 AM
Hahhaa #32! Niceee.... lovin' the CaPsAnDCokEd Up TyPinEiNg... :D
39. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 12, 2006 05:53 PM
This one time... in band camp... I took a shit on Ben Affleck... and he was like, "All I got it 20s, is $500 enough?"
40. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 12, 2006 05:54 PM
"is"!! All I got "is"! No! Ruined!!! I quit.
41. Posted by ning_ning on April 13, 2006 01:18 AM
Jen can take a horse's d*ck....it's jenny from the block.
Who loves cock more Jen or Tom?
42. Posted by ning_ning on April 13, 2006 01:22 AM
That pussy got some mileage on it!