He gives this girl WAY to much credit just because she dated him before he had money.....what he should be saying now is "Hey! I've got money, I can do a WHOLE LOT better than her coke-whore ass"

Just a thought.

I hope he didn't make her sign a pre-nup...celebrity I can't wait to hear her lawyer explain to the judge about how during their three month marraige she really supported his career and therefore deserves 100 million dollars.

I've tried to post three times and it wouldn't let me so I apologise for all the repeats that are showing up right before this message. Probably Tom Cruise's fault.

I'm so glad they didn't rush into anything.

DAMN! I signed in too slow...
so much for FIRST!

Yes, she is a white trash whore, and I was amazed he married her again, SANS prenup!

That's right. I'll bet Em could be tappin' that horse-faced Hilary. The one with nipples, I mean.

What a dumb azz, I wish he would fall off the face of the earth already, he's nutty.

Oh my gosh! I am so surprised that they got divorced after all the nice songs he wrote about her ;)

I heard Marshall used to get the absolute crap beaten out of him every day when he was a kid by bullies at school.

All I can say is, hooray for bullies! Too bad they didn't bash his worthless whitetrash skull in.

I hate this fucking guy.

Well, I hope he comes out of "retirement" now....or at the very least come out with another single about what a piece of shit she is.

Anyway...I've been having a BALL making raunchy commercials today on this site. Have fun kids! http://www.chevyapprentice.com/apprentice.php?country=us

This is really devastating. I don't have faith in many hollywood couples, but I really thought these two could make it.

talk about cleaning out your closet for a second time

talk about cleaning out your closet for a second time

talk about cleaning out your closet for a second time

I bet when Kim and Eminem went to the clerk's office, you could hear the laughter in the entire building.

"What do you need, son? A divorce?"

I bet when Kim and Eminem went to the clerk's office, you could hear the laughter in the entire building.

"What do you need, son? A divorce?"

I freakin' hate double posts!

Hey, Jazzmyn, or "Kim", as they are calling you... you need to stop stealing my customers, and I know that was you that spilled glitter all over my take-out Chinese last night, and don't be jealous 'cuz some other lot lizard stole your money on Saturday - you probably just spent it on crack and forgot. Oh, and you might wanna tuck that string up, you're trying to get lap dances not catch small-mouth bass.
Fix ya' weave, bitch!
- Paradyse

I freakin' hate double posts!

lol. thanks tracy.

Is it just me, or is Kim a giant?

Grphdesi23 holds up her hand and reveals "The Shocker!"

wow...i really need a moment here to pull myself together after this news, how can i go on?

Nope, Kim's not a giant, Em's a midget. He's a towering 5'6", which goes a long way to explain the beatings back in grade school. I think that's why they chose Britany Murphy as his co-star in 8 Mile, so he could actually look like an adult male.

I can't WAIT for the post-divorce comeback tour!

Eminem is a good father, and he's trying to make things work for his daughters sake.

Kim must be a real crazy bitch,.

... I thought they were already divorced?!?

wtf, I missed the inbetween part when they married again.

I can't believe it didn't last! Look, they having matching hair and EVERYTHING. You know it's forever when you share the same box of Clairol Ultra Blonde #12 Glistening Champagne.

wow, I meant "they have." Time to ease up on the meth. I guess being awake for 72 hours tires the ol' cerebellum.

My apologies. I hate poor grammar more than anything. Except double posts and New Guy.

has eminem ever cracked a smile on that ugly mug???? he's a little motherfucker, and his wife was more into chicks the 1st time they were married... i feel bad for that little girl they had...

Blow me cottage-cheese tits... er, I mean SweetCheeks.

First Nick and Jessica, and now this! I don't know if I can believe in love anymore...

i hate newguy too!!! where are you newguy?? he's like that annoying weird little cousin that follows you around at the family reunion and a whole bunch of the cool cousins, including the one you french-kissed last year (ssshhh), try to ditch him, and then you ended up playing some nasty joke on him that makes it look like he poo'd his pants. Good times, guys, good times...

Humm Jessica and Eminem. After all he did Mariah and he loves blondes with huge boobs. She likes dirty bad boys amd could use some craziness in her life. First person to make this prediction.

Lovely. With an estimated 998,000 words in the English language, the best you can do is "cottage-cheese tits," New Guy? I'm not going to waste any of the remaining 997,993 words on an unimaginative douche like you.

I'm two posts above you Kris, you ignorant slut.

#29 -- or more like the mongoloid second cousin with a speech impediment and club foot! LOL

What a DOUCHE.

MY but New Guy is bitter! Apparently another unfortunate side effect of being what we call, "a big smelly douche."

try harder newguy...

Whatsamatter SweatyCheeks??? Out of words already??? "Douche" twice in a row???

(note, I am referring to your use of the word "douche" twice. Not your need to "douche, rinse and repeat." That's between you and your doctor.)

wait, i feel as though calling him a douche isn't quite fair to the female race.. how about a big clump of rancid smegma??? yep, smegma... hey smegma breath... how ARE you, you little small-peckered fucky-face???

Okay, I believe I've used the word "douche" adequately in this post. We will now understand that "New Guy" is synonymous with "Douchebag."

That being said, I'm off to lovingly carress my "cottage cheese tits" and see if they'll accept Douchebag's apology.

Thanks for the backup, Krisdylee!

Damn...Thats a big bitch.

If I was married and I held a nickel bag of Crack Rock over my wifes head everytime I wanted a blowjob...

Hold on...what's wrong with that?

freakin idiots!!

wtf did they get married a second time

poor haylie is gonna need major therapy

i'll caress your cottage-chees breast for yah....

oops, sorry, i think that's my shecond glash of wine talking....

#9....LOL
This looks like an old picture, I can guarentee she doesnt look that decent anymore. Their daughter's going to be a Hollywood street walker in 10 years, or maybe worse, just like her mom.

Probably BOTH of 'em ain't no day at Titty Beach to live with, I'lltellyewwhut.

Still, I kinda dig the little fucker. Non-hitting-it-wise, of course. He's a tough little fat-ass. Did anyone see that pic of his asscheeks in Rolling Stone about a month ago? I had no IDEA he was packing such succulent ham in those oversized sweatpants. Maybe I WOULD hit it.

2 things:

* I won the Eminem Pool at work cause they lasted 3 months. $100! :D

* I am loving the handicap match between Cheeks, Kris, and NewGuy. LMFAO!

Hey NewGuy...is your name Kevin Covais?

hahahahahaha

I'm just shocked that the group home for the Terminally Stupid that NewGuy lives in has Internet access. Go figure. Shouldn't you be finger painting with feces and trying to answer the toaster instead of interacting with people who have more than two digits worth of IQ?

Hi, I'm back -- sorry, but the "cheese tits" had to say "no-can-do" to Douchebag's apology, as heartfelt as it was. I think there were even little tears... or maybe I was lactating. Who knows.

You must understand that they can be VERY unforgiving. The "CT's" have been unusually cross since seeing pics of Hillary's magnificent bosom. They were in a bad mood already.

The guy needs some psychotheraphy. She is trailer trash. He keeps rebounding. Stop it. You love Hailey...ok. You have your responsibility to her. Take care of your daughter. Doesn't mean you have to marry your train wrech again, now, does it? Please..get a grip and check yourself. You are smarter than that. wake up.

Excuse my spelling mistakes. Tired. I know better.

#52 -- I LIKED the burn on Douchebag!! Anything involving "fingerpainting with feces" makes me laugh. I think it's the word "feces." I like to use it in the singular (even though technically it's grammatically incorrect); i.e. (to my husband) "You need to go back in and flush. There's a fece still floating in the toilet."

#52 -- is that "Mace" as in Mace-Windu-master-Jedi, or is it "Mace" as in anti-rapist-chemical-spray?

Either way, I like it!

If I have to choose, I suppose it's Mace as in large blount object useful for bashing people in the head.

I wish somebody would bash New Guy in the head with a blunt object.

If I had breasts like Hillary Swank, I would bludgeon him to death with them.

But I don't. I have "cottage-cheese-tits."

sigh...

I am not surprised..even my Dad was laughing at them today when I came over his house and told me as this made the evening news...

Threes a charm that is my prediction at least...next.

Poor guy -- even if you're married only three months, they probably still make you wait the whole year before you get the divorce! A fellow could probably rely on his "sleeping medication" to help pass the time more quickly, though...

SweetCheeks come over hear 'cause I want to make motorboat sounds in between your cottage cheese tits, YUMMY

New Guy go fuck yourself, no need for haters like you 'cause we will all gang up on your ass and make you wish you never discovered thesuperficial.com while trolling on the Internet.

loool #18 oshkosh that was hilarious. and whereever did you learn to speak stripperese so fluently, hmm?
leave newguy alone for chrissake. you guys started fucking with him before he even made a post. he's not that bad.

#64-- now THAT would cheer the "C-C-Ts" up!

I am heartbroken to discover that Hillary Swank's breasts are, in fact, real; I saw the Karate Kid pics. I am seriously considering a full mastectomy at this point. After seeing that, there's no sense in even trying.

#65 -- you wanna piece of me? You want A PIECE OF ME?!! I kid, I kid....

Perhaps you haven't read any of New Guy's previous work. He's a regular Walt Whitman.

And everybody knows Walt Whitman was a flaming homosexual.

Also, Evangelina, isn't it fun to have a collective enemy? Like Osama Bin Laden. Or Kim Jong Il. Or Kirsten Dunst (who makes my "cheese-tits" looks like two sumptuous rounds of angel food cake). Or people with lazy eyes.

Oh and also Douchebag said that Hillary Swank's nipples were TOO BIG. If that's not a reason to hate him, I don't know what is. It's like peeing on the American Flag or punching babies in the face. It's just wrong.

Large, blunt objects, rapist-repellent, and Win-dude are all cool, but I like Mace as in the spice. It's good in ham glaze, pumpkin pie, and ginger-spice cookies.

NewGuy is a fucking sped. He's been a dick since the day he trolled in here, hitting random keys with his sausage fingers. We all know he's a midget who lives in a box at the end of some dude's bed. I just forget who graced us with that bit of info.

SweetCheeks is in the lead today.

Um, back to the subject at hand: I saw pictures of their wedding and Kim cleans up really nice...nothing like the crack hag we usually see. Guess we'll see a downward spiral of her looks once again, since she's lost her long-time love.
Someone please give ONE example of remarrying a former spouse that worked out.

Can we just sterilize them both and lock them in cages?

I don't know about you all, but I, for one, am shocked.

I don't know who you guys or 'New Guy' is, but I honestly don't give a shit. I want to read funny comments and articles, not witness your lame ass baby post war. Go make your own forums where you can be 2 year olds and spam each other, but leave the space here for funny people.

Ahhh . . . the dream has come to an end. Oh, who will I now admire that has true love and romance? Brit & K-Fed. What a world!

You know, this actually makes me kind of sad. I had a lot of respect for him trying to keep his family together. Why couldn't these two kids make it work?!

Um, yeah, ebayfan. Obviously you like the 'baby post war' as you put it because you sure did make your contribution to it. Why not just make a funny comment about the subject at hand? Because you want to be a part of it, too.

Ironically, the funny people whose posts you want to read are the people who are involved in the 'baby post war'.

Just another asshole. Are you SURE you don't know who NewGuy is?

You people are insane with getting first...it's almost scary. I always forget how short he is, especially when Kim is 5' 4'' XD

You people are insane with getting first...it's almost scary. I always forget how short he is, especially when Kim is 5' 4'' XD

i'm outdone....sigh....

(one of these days I'll get an answer)

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

(someday I'll get an answer)

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

(someday I'll get an answer)

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

(someday I'll get an answer)

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

(and I just thought you guys should know, that Movable Type is junk)

(someday I'll get an answer)

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

I prefer the penta-postage. Maybe my question will get noticed :)

I lit a candle and am sending out the cosmic love for these two. Through much adversity they overcame the issues that plague any loving couple; songs about his homicidal tendancies towards her, her blatent disregard for hygeine, his 2 incher... i think with haste they've made this decision and my heart bleeds for them.

I'm not surprised, she looks like a ho-bag user beeatch! Lindsay Lohan would suck his dick in a second and he could smack her afterwards, why should he put up with a blonde crackwhore of a girl using him for his money? He was good enough to put up with her shit for the kid, which is shocking in itself considering he wrote songs about wanting to call her and his mom.

sorry i meant kill her and his mom, not call her...!

Hey everybody, I just found $20 in my couch!

And Em needs to just kill her and go to jail already. You know it's going to happen eventually....

NewGuy- I think we really need to see your face. I know most pics you send over on your sticky keyboard are to 11 year-old boys, hoping you can satisfy the absence of a dominant male in your life since daddy left mommy for the neighborhood queer. If anyone has a question or concern for me, try papahotnuts@yahoo.com. Unlike NewGuy, I will be more than happy to show my face and answer any questions. I'm here to enjoy myself when I'm not working, unlike NewGuy, who is here to get what he doesn't get from anyone else in life- attention. I, for one, think we should keep bantering with him. I'm fairly certain that the Superficial is the only thing keeping him from stabbing himself in the throat.

He'll never kill her, Nikk. I've always thought that he was all talk. All that bullshit about his mom and his wife and his hardships. I'm sure he had a bad life, but so have a lot of others. His outlet is his talk; he'd never pick up a gun or a knife and actually do something. No balls. Aside from the fact that even though he was this huge 'star' he was never really linked with too many women. Or maybe he was and I just never paid attention to it. But I bet he wasn't.

I bet he wets the bed. Notice how he never makes fun of bedwetters? That's telltale, man, telltale.

Double or nothing that NewGuy stabs himself with a vibrator. Or at least he TELLS everyone that he's *ahem* stabbing himself. And since a vibe won't actually make a hole... well, you can piece that puzzle together.

Papa, If I show you mine, will you show me yours?

Maybe some people forgot this was the Superficial and bashing people is what is done. Whether its celebrities, or Eminem, or new guy, burns are fun. And lets not forget that.
Poor new guy couldnt handle the heat of cheesy tits, and blunt objects. He had to find a big bad poster to try an adult this game up.
And just the term fucky-face should make anyone laugh. Who doesnt like to call out fucky-faces? Everyone needs some humbling sometime or another. And I think NewGuy is the way to go.
So come on NewGuy
*breaks in to song*
Hit us with your best shot

M -- I agree wholeheartedly!! Is this site not DEVOTED to insults, be they aimed at celebrities or mindless internet trollers?

I cannot get that bastard Wiggles song out of my head. I blame you, M. I BLAME YOU!!! It's been on since six-thirty this morning.

Eminem's sooooo DAMN HOT!!!!

allow me to be the first to say:
bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

to both eminem and newguy- two of my favorite idjits.

I've never seen a pic of Kim before. She's hot. Or she was, you can tell that pic is really old.

I think he keeps getting back with her because he is an insecure little bitch. I don't think he can do "better", or that he even deserves "better". Besides as rich as he is he will never find anyone he can really trust to not be a goldigger or a starfucker.

I'm not trying to defend Kim, but Eminem sucks ass. He has sucked since Eminem Show, and he wasn't even that great before that!

There was indeed NO pre-nup!!! whoops!!!

The guy is a complete asshole - he thinks and acts like a tantrum-throwing teenager and seriously needs to grow up.
As I'm sure you've already guessed, I'm referring to NewGuy.

A bit of back-up info, taken from the Daily Mirror (a UK tabloid, so it MUST be true):

Just weeks ago, his gran Betty Kresin, 66, said Kim had "brainwashed" him. She said: "Boy has he made a big mistake. With no prenup or nothing! She'll take everything. I think he's crazy."

I see Eminem, but who's the other guy, I'm confused....

Why the picture of Sinead O'Connor?

# 56 LOL Fece...

#90 Kudos Buddy

I bet NewGuy has a big hole in his basement where he is keeping someyoungcock and he dances around with his weiner tucked under and he is going to use someyoungcock's skin to cover his own body. I think his real name is Buffalo Bob.

#91 Papa, I think NewGuy is definitely trying to regain all the attention he enjoyed when he was displayed in a huge glass jar at the "Festival of Freaks Circus". How can he adjust to daily life after that kind of glory? Getting sodomised daily by an angry bull helps him to keep his mind off it, but ultimately its just a quick-fix to a much deeper rooted problem. He stalked K-Fed for a while, but even the "Loser's loser" was too embarrassed to be seen near him.

People this is about Eminem, not NewGuy, remember?

If anyone has a question or concern for me they can go to pleasewaitinlinewhileyoursisterfinisheseatingmeout@yahoo.com, and I will address you in a timely manner.
I just thought I'd throw that out in case anyone had a question. Or a concern. I care about my fans.

I heart NewGuy.

I meant I heart New York.

I don't know why these two broke up...Marshall seems so happy in the picture.

#100--
There is a prenup in place--both the Detroit Free Press and the Mankato newspaper state that the divorce papers refer to the prenup agreement, with the Mankato paper stating that the prenup was signed 1 week before the marriage. Apparently Grandma (who wasn't invited to the wedding) doesn't know as much as she thought!

Eminem divorcing Kim again after a remarriage of 3 months...

10 years ago, this type of celebrity behavior would be big news.

But nowadays:

- Unmarried celebrities impregnate women and make them join a cult
- They molest children and escape to the Middle East, and
- They run around the world adopting babies and stealing husbands.

A divorce? Big deal!

What would be NEWS is if Eminem was caught going down on 50 Cent's "G-Unit" in a fitting room at Old Navy while Rosie O'Donnell thrust Slim Shady from behind with a strap-on dildo while yanking on his doo-rag and rapping his song "Ass Like That."

I heard she got pissed that he wore a butt plug while pluggin her.

Sorry, I meant to write the NewGay pisses while he wears a butt plug cause noone will plug him.

#112 Truly twisted!!!! Love it!

I'm all broken up about Lameminem's break up with his ho'. But being the closet homo that he is I'm sure it won't be much of a problem for him.

Oh, and people, most of you are pretty funny but; you're at your worst when you "gang " up on a any poster who rubs you the wrong way. Get over yourselves, this is not "DA hood" and you're not gangbangers. So, niggas pleeeaze.

Someone should get the Sharpie the hell away from her lips. Damn!

I love this site. People who come here to hate on us - beware!

beware of what exactly, please explain, I'm pretty sure there's not a fucking thing you can do to anybody.

I laugh at you.

Strippers are cool.

NEW GUY---whats your problem??? why do you keep attacking people here?? what did they do to YOU???
sweetcheeks rocks, shut up new guy....before i CRUSH YOU WITH MY TRUST FUND!!!!!! and to kris, its good to see someone sticking up for peeps in here! hats off to YOU babes!!!LOVE you sweetcheeks!!!
#118, i agree!!!!carmen electra has these aerobics excersice DVDs that encoprorate learning how to strip, so i totally agree with you!hey, you need to lean how to strip for you man or woman! ;)in my case, my man :)
ok on to this jackass festival they dubbed a wedding....um, yeah, can anyone say DUH????? why did they decide to get married again??? i would NEVER re marry a dude to made up a few songs about KILLING ME!!!! oh well, i guess thats kim for ya
<3
ME!

XD!!!! where have you been hiding??!!!! ive missed your awesome alba bashing and funny sarcastic comments!!!!
ok sorry everyone, i wont stray from the topic anymore ;)