First.

She had a dinner party the night before and invited Mariah Carey who didn't get enough to eat so she ate the jeans and apparently her own panties.

"Campbell was charged with assault and could face up to seven years in prison if convicted."

Like she'll ever do that kind of time. I believe the help. She's a total phony and apparently an abusive one at that.

ive heard so much bad about her, she must be the biggest asshole. i never thought she was hot either. ughhhhh....

www.rab1501.com

10 bucks says Naomi-zilla could easily kick both Timberlake's and Federline's asses. Not sure about Oprah though, she's from Chi town and would probably jam that Blackberry straight up NC's skinny ass. Then shank her for good measure.

Why are bulldykes so quick to lose their temper and turn to violence?

MORAL: Don't F*CK with Naomi Campbell. You wanna know why? Cuz THE BLACK DON'T CRACK!

I thought the guy from Milli/Vanilli committed suicide?

Glad to see he is still alive!!!

Her and Russell Crowe should have a "beating people senseless with telephones" contest. My money's on Crowe, because he already proved how much ass he can kick in Gladiator.

Is it just me, or do other people see NC going the way of Whitney Houston before long?

This is like some sick abusive relationship - the maid tripped and hit her head? Anybody whose seen a Lifetime made for t.v. movie knows what that's all about. The only reason why Naomi still gets anyone to work for her must be the ever present potential for a lawsuit. Or she imports her help from countries that think Naomi Campbell is a type of canned soup. Regardless, Naomi is one fugly bitch. She must get her attitude from being the world's first tranny supermodel.

Can you imagine an pissed off Naomi in 1979? If that big black giraffe got angry then, she would have to throw one of those 12 lb rotary phones, and that shit could kill you. And if it didn't, it would have taken 10 minutes to dial 911 with that dial.

#3 - I dunno, something about Naomi Campbell screams "Prison Bitch in Waiting" to me.

FIRST!!!!!!!!

*To be sung to the tune of "Sesame Street"*

Want to be beaten up?
There's a waaayyyyyyyy
"Anger management?" we hear Nomes saaayyy

"Can you tell me how to get
How to get this blood off of meeeee?
Off my diamante Blackberryyyyyyyyy"

As far as I'm concerned, she can beat the snot out of whomever she desires under 2 conditions:
1. She has the money to get her dumbass outta trouble
2. It's not me that she's wailing on me

That said, why in the hell is she a supermodel? She's NOT pretty, she's not nice and at this point isn't she pretty old?

Was she in the bathroom? Was she wearing diapers? Were there demons in the maid's face?

Gee, what a shock to realize you can have a pretty face and still be a bitch.

Yeah, Naomi is claiming that this is phoney and the woman is trying to extort money from her....She must be right, I mean who would EVER believe that Naomi Campbell, who has lost three assault cases, gone through anger management and rehab classes could have a temper. My guess is that the maid sais something like this. "Gee, that sweet girl Tyra Banks knew to quit modelling before she got too old....how much younger than you is she again?"

Is she really wearing a ball cap AND a white fur poncho? Really? THAT should be against the law, never mind the assault. Whatta twat.

Wait, she has a Swarovski crystal-encrusted Blackberry? Where can you buy these? As for missing Oprah, why are stars so bad at making appointments? Seems like it's usually the girls, too. Does anyone know what Oprah said when Naomi didn't show? Anything less than:

"Naomi couldn't be with us today because she is a bitch."

would be lame.

And last but not least, why doesn't Naomi just use her hand? What's with all this use-anything-on-you-as-a-weapon stuff? Doesn't she care about breaking her Blackberry? Or does she have a rule about not touching the proles?

Not enough money in the world you could pay me to work for this bitch.

That's not Naomi Campbell. That's a drag queen. See the resemblance?

http://www.celebrity-pics.net/dp/2-24.htm

she looks like lil jon in that pic

Yeeeeaaaah! What? ok....

I love it when someone type's FIRST and they're actually 13th. Love it. Keep up the good work.

#11 almost made me pee in my harlequin leather Speedoes

I say lock her up but dont give her access to any phonecards in jail or she might slice someones head off with it

Damn you pamalama. You stole my ramajama mamamojo jamma! Bitch. ;) <--- winky smile. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I'm a dork.
PS. Where's Papahotnutz; I live in Monroe - let's meet up in Shreveport and go to Larry Flynt's. Holla!

are you sure its not just Dennis Rodman in a wig? ever seen them in the same room together?

Throwing shit at the maid is never cool, but Naomi has been modeling since she was 16 (so no, she's not an "old hag" she's only mid-30s if that)and people have been filling her head with this diva crap since she made a name for herself and made these designers hella cash; it goes with the territory. What came first? The shitty diva-tude or the people kissing her ass and telling her she's entitled? And for the record, most supermodels aren't pretty, they're not meant to be; most of them had something that stood out about them, Naomi was young with good skin and African/Brit models were huge in the 80s, Kate Moss started "heroin chic" and Tyra and Gisele are the titty girls, A. Lima is the "hottest virgin alive" or whatever. It's all marketing, so don't hate the playa, hate the game. That and some of these comments are borderline racist, so settle down with the "black" comments; a bitch is a bitch, be it a white, asian or lebanese bitch!

She must pay extremely well for anyone to actually want to put up with her. and ENOUGH WITH THE "FIRST" BULLSHIT. Every site I go on there is some retard that has to post OOO LOOK AT ME I'M FIRST TO POST.

Dear MissAppropriated

Please be advised that your song lyrics contain too many syllables to be properly harmonized to the tune of "Sesame Street", nor is it funny.

FURST!

Shit. The bitch is crazy, period.

#29 You're just jealous. Nanenanebooboo

#28, So let me get this right, NONE of her bad behavior is her fault, it's because of people filling her head with that Diva-Tude. Yeah, ok. I got news for you, when somebody is in their 30's anything they do is their own responsibility.

#30 Right on! I kept trying to make it work and it just wouldn't! I think MissAppropriated and Whitney have been spending a little time together.

Damn, OshKosh! Another Louisianainananaian? Transplant to Monroe thanks to Katrina or a natural Monroe-vian?

I wonder if Naomi threw the phone at her because she was roaming. Or maybe calling outside the network. I bet she went over her plan minutes! It has nothing to do with jeans and Oprah, guaranteed.

Oh the sadness of not having her enter the system on the weekend. It would have been great to see her locked up in Rikers Island all weekend.

I hope that poor lady gets her for a bundle.

#29...my sentiments exactly! Can we also stop with papahotnuts worship?

#33 Nope, you got it wrong; I believe the FIRST thing I said was that throwing shit at the maid was NEVER cool, nor did I imply that she is BLAMELESS, however MEN let popular and beautiful women get away with shit all the time, YOU guys started that shit, why be mad now? Are you an advocate for intolerance of violence against women? Or are you just mad it's Naomi Campbell? Lindsay Lohan, Halle Berry and Kate Moss got away with all kinds of shit, why? B/c many dudes consider them "hot chicks" and they get a "pass".

Hey #28, how dare you reduce Gisele to a "titty girl". Have you not seen her entire lower half? I'd kill for those legs. And her ass.

But seriously though, how is Naomi even still in the news? When children have temper tantrums, you're supposed to *stop* giving them attention, which is totally what I'm doing right now.

This is such old news! I heard both this and the previous items on Access Hollywood last night. Come on, guys! I come here for the real deal!

she can head butt me any day! Daaammnnnn!

I remember now where I've seen that picture before - its the scene in "Star Wars" when they handcuff Chewbacca

She's gonna get rammed hardcore in lezzie jail. Hope her years in the fashion industry have taught her how to get on her knees ... or hide a nail file up her ass.

OMG FIRST POST!!!!1!111!!one!1!1

I'd never even heard of this bitch until I started reading the Superfish. And with good reason; she bores me.

"Her and Russell Crowe should have a "beating people senseless with telephones" contest. My money's on Crowe, because he already proved how much ass he can kick in Gladiator."

That's exactly what I thought when I first read this post.

Oh, by the way, I smashed Tori Spelling in the face with my 10 pound iron skillet. Surprisingly, I think she looks more attractive this way.

Anyone know where I can pick up an application for the housekeeping position?? I'll bet she HAS to pay a fortune to get anyone to work for her!!

1) Throwing shit at the maid IS cool, and it helps me take my mind off stuff, like designers calling me names like "swollen sea cow" and "gerbil face", and the fact that I can't find my bottle of barbituates.
2) Of course her Blackberry isn't encrusted with diamonds. That's her vagina you're thinking of. Skeet skeet.
3)Ms. Licky, I was born on the bayou.
Now I'm going to go eat some crawfish and listen to my extended family play zydeco music on the porch while we drink moonshine out of Alligator skulls. Geaux Tigerz!
4) Yes, my job is really boring.

dear #28
i must disagree. i would not put lebanese bitches in the same category as white, black, and asian bitches. they are 16289797 times worse.

Last!!!

oh, and thanks #37. i've been wanting to say the same thing, but i was afraid to get tracked down, stalked, and decapitated by papahotnuts' rabid followers.
i mean, i think his posts are funny too, but sheesh.

Evangelia! I think you were a tad generous in your description of Leb bitches. They're off the scale when it comes to being arrogant whores. Snotty cows get nose jobs and peroxided hair and start acting like their pussies are gold-plated and diamond-encrusted or something. Get over yourselves, shrameet.

Most current up to this point in time!! Yeah!

Perhaps someone should've tipped ol' Naomi off that the "theft deterrent" feature was just a clever advertising bit.

Can't wait for the new warning labels to avoid future lawsuits: "Do not throw in face!"

Most current up to this point in time!! Yeah!

Perhaps someone should've tipped ol' Naomi off that the "theft deterrent" feature was just a clever advertising bit.

Can't wait for the new warning labels to avoid future lawsuits: "Do not throw in face!"

Most current up to this point in time!! Yeah!

Perhaps someone should've tipped ol' Naomi off that the "theft deterrent" feature was just a clever advertising bit.

Can't wait for the new warning labels to avoid future lawsuits: "Do not throw in face!"

Gah...sorry

Much like Cedric the Entertainer said on Kings Of Comedy - "I wish a muthafucka would!"

I'd easily work for Naomi and if she even dreamed about trying to assault me in any way, that mildly-retarded bitch better wake up and apologize! These folks either love lawsuits or they are truly scared of her. Either way, she KNOWS who to pull that shit with - someone who won't physically fight her back. She's never laid a finger on Tyra. Ty-Ty can be professional and all but if necessary, I'm sure she'd beat the brakes off Naomi's 5 ounce ass.....balee-dat!

i wonder how many friggin polar bears she owns...

she has enough fur coats

I'd pay to see Naomi kick shit out of Mariah.

I know I'm not the first one to it...but damn she and Russell Crowe need to get together...Maybe finish eachother off with a phone duel to the death and improve humanity all in one go.

am i the only one who finds her ugly?

am i the only one who finds her ugly?

She's probably one of those schizo people, being partly Japanese : peace of mind, and whatever else : ferocity. Geezus Christ.

OkieDokie i am SO with you on that one!!!!!
naomi is still waaayyy hot, but what a bitch!!! she needs to seek anger management!!! id sue her if i was smacked by her too!!

#44 What the hell!!???
I hope that she gets nailed for this one. She is NUTS and she thinks she can get away with anything because the STUPID police and judges get charmed by her celebrity and who knows....maybe a few blow jobs (dunno wasn't there.) I cannot stand this egotistical, hateful, vipershrewbitch creature straight from the anus of hell!Do us all a favour and lock her up and throw away the key. She is a waste of air!!

Naomi is a bitch and deserves to DIE! DIE DIE DIE YOU SUPERMODEL HASBEEN DIE!

You know, I'm down on the whole "whalin' on the help" thing and I'll never be able to look at her without laughing again after #11's "big, black giraffe" description, but doing the perp walk in a white fur poncho to hide the handcuffs, and shades - even I've gotta give her 10 out of 10 for style.

she obviously doesn't know her own strength. and model or not, i bet she looooves cake. b/c "they" all love cake.
oshkosh, papahotnuts, lickylicky...i'm planning a "louisianians for stopping shitney spears" rally. tomorrow! in ruston! each of you bring 10 others, some cd's of her warbling, and i've got the kerosene... refreshments immediately after.

First post!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT! HY-OH I've spent the last week trying to be the first post. I've wondered why people are so hung up on being the first poster but I don't anymore. It feels fucking awesome. Like rimjob-from-a-really-hot-hooker awesome. Mrs. auh2o is going to plotz when I tell her that I'm first poster on the Naomi Campbell story.

I've heard that Naomi Campbell gives blood once a week and provides homes for orphan puppies. Maybe all you haters just better step off. Step off indeed. The housekeeper probably deserved it. She was probably interfering with Naomi's important philanthrophical work. Forty-eight cents of every dollar Naomi earns goes straight into a bank account to help homeless people with hairlips. She feels that she's been blessed with incredible beauty and wants others, especially the homeless, to be beautiful, too. She's also the the woman that deflowered me, lo, those many years ago. She insisted we do it doggy style, and I'm a better man for it. It was tender and torrid at the same time. Because she's a sex genius.

So it turns out that I'm not actually the first post. My dingbat secretary was totally wrong when whe explained to me how this whole thing works. She's been fired, of course.

But who cares, really, if I'm not the first poster. I'm the 69th poster. Which is infinitely cooler for obvious reasons. If it's not obvious to you, that's because you've never done 69 with Naomi Campbell. Which I have. Several times. Once Naomi says, "baby, 69 me" you'll never be able to think of anything else in connection to the number 69 again. Like, for example, you are adding up your phone bill and whatnot and it comes to $69, you'll think of the times that you 69ed Naomi Campbell. Like I have, as mentioned above.

I'm new here, so I may be speaking too soon, but I snicker when I see people say "FIRST" or #33 and then see that they are not.

All I can say is that Naomi better prepare herself for some intense anal destruction come prison time.

For the record, y'all, I knew I wasn't the first post. I was being facetious; hence the multiple exclamation points and "1"'s.

Although I suppose it would've been funnier if I'd been the 100th poster.

Half-Japanese?! Since when?!
I do feel a bit sorry for her; drink, drugs and anger issues, AND she had to sleep with Adam Clayton? Harsh.

I can't wait till this bitch hits the WRONG maid one too many times, the maid who knows ground fighting and jujitsu the one maid who totally knocks her black ass OUT! Someones gotta just throw a straight right on her chin when she bows up like a crazy black voodoo doll bitch.. She'd be all "WTF?? Wheres my jeweled panties rarrrarraaahhh then BOOM!! Out cold. Man I'd pay anything to see that.

Angel_Baby, you're an idiot.

I want to see noami and Kimora lee Simmons in a fight.. thats entertainment.

78TH!!!!

yeah, and stop with papahotnut fellatio sessions already, you are gonna burn him.

she looks like that black rap-guy little john

Those Who Can, do. Those Who Can't Anymore, fling trendy communication devices at the innocent for publicity.

"...Lines on the mirror, lines on her face, she pretended not to notice she was caught up in the race.."

P.S. Is she related to Russell Crowe?

auh20, did you vote for Barry Goldwater?
P.S Naomi has a loose anus.

#72, as funny as your comment is, I have to say that I don't think lezzie prison works that way.

Naomi and Mike Tyson would make a perfect couple...

Naomi Campbell makes me pee in my pants.

christee, I have a better idea: let's have a Katrina-Aid Britney Spears gang-bang. Oh wait, that was wrong...

Olichka, I thought they fashion strap ons out of soap bars and twine in lez jail? Either that or I have been grossly misinformed about prison (damn you Showtime!) .... ;)

#38, in denying that you said that Naomi wasn't responsible for her behavior you then go on to blame MEN for her behavior. Again, in the real world, people are responsible for their own behavior. You sound like a very biter unattractive girl that goes out to bars and gets angry because all the pretty girls get hit on. Well if MEN are repsonsible for Naomi Campbell being a bitch who can we blame your personality on?

Definitely a case of borderline personality disorder. We make excuses for people with money. The woman belongs in an institution, either a prison or a hospital. Looks will take you a long way, but as they say it is easy for a sane man to act insane, but impossible for an insane man to act sane....

Hmmm... so far, doesn't look like anyone would "hit it".

Nothing says Has-Been like no one wanting to crawl inside it.

You;re over, Naomi... get used to the real world. Perhaps we'll see you on Skating with the Stars next season.

I am DYING to see her on The Surreal Life, her and Janice Dickinson would be a dream come true , watch the bitch slapping ensue!

Naomi should guard the border and beat them domestics back across the border. All she needs to survive are the coke shipments she confiscates and an El Grande mirror. Vamos BeeOtch!!!

oshkosh- katrina gang-banging britney? i'm so confused! although, that does sound like k-tard's wildest fantasy... either way, that's one hell of a douche.

Dearest Legal Diva

When I feel like an original (if un-harmonic) ditty instead of fellating (admittedly extremely clever) PapaHotNuts's bollocks, you will be the first person I come to for an opinion. Second of course will be Mamacita who, instead of voicing an independent opinion, would prefer to ride the coat-tails of a groupie such as yourself - "PHN - you consistently make my day - simper dribble fawn". Holy CHRIST girl - get yourself a real legal diva and sue!

And by the way - if you spent more than twenty seconds trying to make my admittedly pathetic rendition of Sesame Street fit - well - for the sake of Allah have a few bottles of red wine like me and relax - it works wonders! (And even shit rhymes work!
:-) )

Go PapaHotNuts - all adulation aside you are pretty fucking funny you fucker!

haaa... I can't wait to see Oprah throws her punches at Naomi's face for a good lesson on human decency... or so I wish...