March 31, 2006
Matt LeBlanc is single again
Matt LeBlanc and former model Melissa McKnight have filed for divorce after three years of marriage. According to The Sun, their marriage started falling apart after Matt was lured into a strip club and started groping strippers. Matt and Melissa have a two-year-old daughter who suffers from a neurological condition, as well as two children from Melissa's earlier marriage.
If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that all married people should go to strip clubs because strippers take their clothes off and that's sexy.
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Comments
1. Posted by andrewthezeppo on March 31, 2006 02:42 PM
first-
nobody cares about Matt LeBlanc
2. Posted by cat on March 31, 2006 02:44 PM
i bet the child has a neurological condition because Melissa drank guiness while preggers.
3. Posted by jeff on March 31, 2006 02:45 PM
3rd woot. for all to see.
4. Posted by Elikapeka on March 31, 2006 02:52 PM
It's actually sad that these two are breaking up. You'd think after dealing with their baby almost dying a year ago they would have had some bond for life. Oops, I forgot. They're celebrities. Where's all the junk on Homewrecker Jolie? Now THAT'S worth reading.
5. Posted by texinthecity on March 31, 2006 02:52 PM
No one cares about Matt LeBlanc. His show was cancelled too. He looks more and more like the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man everyday. I see a bad summer and a drug problem looming in his future.
6. Posted by Tracie on March 31, 2006 02:53 PM
FINALLY! I was wondering how she could keep up her act as LeBlanc’s beard. When the Hollywood gay rumors started getting really loud back in 1998, LeBlanc quickly got “engaged”. That lasted a good five years before the rumors got loud again in 2003. With his new sitcom about to begin and the hetero cute guy image again in jeopardy, LeBlanc got married. (He also made sure to have a baby exactly 9 months later.) Matt lives in one side of the mansion, and Melissa and her children live comfortably in the other. I can somewhat understand how a 40 year-old single mother with two children would appreciate the lifestyle and privileges that she’s gotten in exchange. Because LeBlanc is the one who filed, I wonder if Melissa just couldn’t stay celibate any longer.
7. Posted by Hara on March 31, 2006 02:53 PM
Why are we counting? Ooooooooo! maybe he's the one who screwed up the Friend's reunion. This guy's screwing up left and right people. Left and right.
8. Posted by Italian Stallion on March 31, 2006 02:54 PM
Weak
9. Posted by krisdylee on March 31, 2006 02:57 PM
Now I know for a fact that male strippers do NOT like to be groped... unless you have titties and a couple of twenties.
10. Posted by Tracie on March 31, 2006 02:59 PM
And it's Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons, Kris and Anna Benson, and Matt and Melissa LeBlanc all splitting up. Are we taking bets on who's going to announce it next?
11. Posted by Jezebel on March 31, 2006 02:59 PM
i dunno..i was guessing 'ross' screwed up the friends reunion cuz he was always the one whining about not doing more episodes every single year because he wanted more money...jackass..
12. Posted by Spindoc on March 31, 2006 03:00 PM
Now that "Joey" got cancelled he needs to be single so he can marry some rich older woman, Hey Matt, I hear Tom Cruise might be looking soon.
13. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 31, 2006 03:01 PM
I didn't even know this guy was married, OR had kids.
14. Posted by Hara on March 31, 2006 03:06 PM
Wait. You mean... he's Not Ross??
15. Posted by PapaHotNuts on March 31, 2006 03:07 PM
He was great as Corky in that "Life Goes On" sitcom. The strides that kid has taken over the years is astonishing.
16. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on March 31, 2006 03:09 PM
Strippers are always destroying marriages! They rob dumb, horny men blind and yet these men keep returning for more. It's the same scene every night - the lights come on, they stumble out of the joint with blue balls and an empty wallet and the strippers are all getting busy counting their hordes of cash. Stupid, stupid men.
And Matt Le Blanc always struck me as a stick in the mud. Don't know why. Him and that other has-been Schwimmer.
17. Posted by The Lazy Asian on March 31, 2006 03:11 PM
thanks again for the breaking news.
18. Posted by Glossed Over on March 31, 2006 03:14 PM
Now that he's free from those pesky shackles of marriage, he can grope whoever he wants! And now that he doesn't have one of those time-consuming jobs, he can grope those women whenever he wants.
Lucky, lucky man.
19. Posted by imabeeatch on March 31, 2006 03:15 PM
Who?
20. Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on March 31, 2006 03:18 PM
I couldn't care less about dummy-faced Matt. But I feel sorry for all the little kids involved. Melissa already put her two little ones through the pain of a divorce and the destruction of their family life, then she goes and gets married, replaces their daddy with some schmuck, has another baby, then oops, rips out their poor little hearts again. Self-centered idiots.
21. Posted by MissAppropriated on March 31, 2006 03:19 PM
#15 Couldn't agree more
And let us not forget other celluloid classics such as "Lost in Space", his memorable walk-on in "Charlie's Angels" and that tear-jerking performance with a chimp in a movie whose name strangely eludes me. I think four people saw that one - box office gold.
I think I'm bleeding from my eyes.....
22. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 31, 2006 03:34 PM
Anna Benson gets divorced and instead I get a pic of LeBlanc and his fugly wife? C'mon Superficial, work with me here.
23. Posted by prideofchucky on March 31, 2006 03:36 PM
Yeah, I saw that chimp movie, I'm trying to think of the name but my mind's drawing a LeBLANC.
Heeheheheh-get it?heehhehehe-cuz that's his name, see?-heheheheh-huh-huh hummmmmmmmmmm.
24. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 31, 2006 03:38 PM
And how the fuck was he lured into a strip club anyway?
Candy? Shiny objects? Was he following a stray cat? Or was Schwimmer DJ'ing that night?
So many questions left unanswered...
25. Posted by BigJim on March 31, 2006 03:39 PM
Friends was perhaps the most annoying show on the planet. Every single person who ever starred in it should be killed. 'Cept for Tom Selleck, cuz Magnum's a total badass.
26. Posted by DonLes91 on March 31, 2006 03:40 PM
I COMPLETELY agree with #22. Bring on the boobs!
27. Posted by mamacita on March 31, 2006 03:43 PM
Ed. That's the movie with the chimp. Sad that I know that.
28. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on March 31, 2006 03:45 PM
In related news, Tom Cruise is splitting with Katie Holmes. Cruise's next project will be a "buddy" flick with Matt LeBlanc tentatively titled "Top Gun of Brokeback Mountain". The duo will star as mountain climbers who struggle against the odds to reach the summit. Reportedly Cruise stated that Matt could be his tailgunner anytime.
29. Posted by Jacq on March 31, 2006 03:52 PM
I've missed something - what neurological disease? I want to make fun of LeBlanc for it. It probably is his fault, after all.
I thought it was between Matt and David as to who actually screwed up the reunion. Matt probably wants everyone to think that he's rolling in the sweet stench of success. OR David on the phone with his agent, "No, I can't make it that day. I've been SOOOOOO busy after Friends."
#25 - Good call on the Selleck props. He looks like my dad.
30. Posted by MonkeyBoy on March 31, 2006 03:53 PM
Any woman who creates such a major stink that it leads to a divorce, simply because her husband went to a stripclub, clearly needs to have her Oprah privileges revoked for 6 months - minimum.
Instead of getting pissy about him going to one, she should ask to join him the next time he goes. Women have this bizaare picture of what goes on in clubs, and when they finally get their heads out of their asses long enough to witness for themselves what really goes on they're usually fine with it. The ones who can't handle it are the psychotically possessive, but there's no way to make them happy without being led around on a leash your entire life. Kick them to the curb as quickly as possible.
31. Posted by Jacq on March 31, 2006 03:54 PM
#28 - When they get to the top, will Tom FINALLY give him the reach-around?
32. Posted by ob1 on March 31, 2006 03:59 PM
I hear the kid got the neurological disease from LeBlanc's wife beer bonging Guiness and doing wasabi snooters with Gwenyth Patrow during her pregnancy.
33. Posted by Cisi on March 31, 2006 04:08 PM
#29 Jacq, hook me up with that daddy of yours!
34. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 31, 2006 04:16 PM
Monkeyboy, on the other end are the women who used to be strippers and know that most of those girls would suck you off in the parking lot for a bump or $10, and therefore demand to go with their men so they can get some parking lot action, too. Not that I would know.
35. Posted by Legal Diva on March 31, 2006 04:26 PM
PapaHotNuts...I hope you don't get tired of this, but I'm glad your back-you consistently make my day :)
36. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on March 31, 2006 05:13 PM
Now he's free to ram all the male escorts he wants without the spousal guilt trips (Matt, why won't you make love to me??"). It's Matt Leblanc's world; we just live in it.
37. Posted by Spindoc on March 31, 2006 05:25 PM
Fun little tidbit, a link to a bit about him appearing on the cover of a 1990 International Gay travel guide.
http://www.defamer.com/topic/matt-leblanc-straight-gayguide-cover-model-023060.php
38. Posted by krisdylee on March 31, 2006 06:09 PM
Could he be any more of a loser??
*in chandler's voice*
39. Posted by bloodyvictim on March 31, 2006 06:12 PM
#2... milk out the nose funny!!
40. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on March 31, 2006 06:23 PM
oshkosh, sorry, but most strippers would not suck someone off in the parking lot for $10. They are dancers, not prostitutes, and they make plenty of their own money from stupid men filling the empty voids in their lives, therefore, they are able to buy their own bumps if they so choose. You WISH they would, but I have known plenty of strippers in my life and they spit on men like you who think they would also be open to turning tricks. Sure there are the really sad women who are so pathetic they also hook, but they are the rare exception, and usually not even the attractive ones. Strippers make great $$$, but people who patronize them are contributing to the destruction of the rest of these stripper's lives. Once they hang up the g-string for good, they usually become quite emotional unstable and unable to hold jobs. Think about that the next time y'all think it's such innocent fun.
41. Posted by kalla on March 31, 2006 06:41 PM
who the hell is anna benson?
42. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on March 31, 2006 07:00 PM
Maybe it's an anagram for Matt's favorite position? This way he can order an "Anna Benson" from his local escort agency without alerting the press. No wait, those letters don't spell "fingerbang".
43. Posted by Seamus Begonia Smell on March 31, 2006 09:26 PM
good for her for having enough self-respect to dump a loser who does something like that. so many women (with fewer financial resources, probably) will try and make the marriage work after outright infidelity, not even red flags like that. maybe this isnt about the stripper, though. maybe she finally watched an episode of Joey.
44. Posted by M@ce on March 31, 2006 09:32 PM
Ms Crackalackin seems to know an awful lot about strippers and their lifestyles...Hmmmm emotionally unstable after their done stripping you say. Would posting strident,depressing comments on light-hearted websites qualify? Sounds like someone might know from experience just how much it costs to get a stripper to blow you in the parking lot.
45. Posted by M@ce on March 31, 2006 09:33 PM
Isn't "crackalackin" a sexual euphemism for "tounge washing a hobos beanbags in a public restroom"?
46. Posted by CheekyChops on March 31, 2006 09:48 PM
I found a non-anagram of Matt LeBlanc's name. It's "SHITTY ACTOR". Do I win a prize?
47. Posted by BrendaPayne on March 31, 2006 11:00 PM
M@ce - tongue washing a hobo's beanbags. PRICELESS. I accidentally spit out my Tootsie Roll.
Be nice to Matt - he's a struggling actor now. Or is that Joey? Or is it Matt...wait, who's the one who loves strippers and sex with anonymous women?
48. Posted by BrendaPayne on March 31, 2006 11:01 PM
M@ce - tongue washing a hobo's beanbags. PRICELESS. I accidentally spit out my Tootsie Roll.
Be nice to Matt - he's a struggling actor now. Or is that Joey? Or is it Matt...wait, who's the one who loves strippers and sex with anonymous women?
49. Posted by lill on April 1, 2006 01:46 AM
That's not a good enough reason to break up a family.
50. Posted by CheekyChops on April 1, 2006 06:58 AM
49, whaaa?
He was touching/shagging/imaginingsexwith strippers/prostitutes! He's lucky to get out with his testicles still attached to his body IMO. I'd have cut the fukkas off.
WORD!
51. Posted by Spindoc on April 1, 2006 08:50 AM
#40 It's very nice of your stripper friends to not tell you the truth about their lives. However as somebody in a family full of lawyers I can tell you in no uncertain terms that strippers from "Reputable" clubs are constantly being busted for hooking. Stripping is one step away from doing porn, and porn is one step from hooking. So either your friends are very nice and keeping you out of their lives or you know the only 5 strippers in the world that are actually putting themselves through Catholic school and just need to dance for the tuition.
52. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on April 1, 2006 09:04 AM
Crackalackin is what the zebra (Chris Rock) says in "Madagascar", and yes, I am only 12 years old. So what?
Maybe the times have changed, but the strippers I knew were not sluts or hoes. They had boyfriends and husbands. Oh well, if they all kept getting arrested they were not very smart, I'd say, and anyway I thought the mafia strip club owners paid off the police, but again, times must have changed.
53. Posted by gogoboots on April 1, 2006 01:54 PM
YUCK! YAWN! BORING!
54. Posted by Claire Darkbloom on April 1, 2006 07:44 PM
Sounds like she finally got tired of having to fuck him with a strap-on. Wasn't there a rumour she lived in a different wing of his house?
55. Posted by LEATHERFACE45 on April 1, 2006 09:53 PM
I personally think his wife is fine looking!!! i dont know what he'd need in a strip joint. if i were in his shoes, i'd have her tie me up, put a leather hood on my head and tell me " i put some newspapers under you, now hump them and make your "piggy mess"......mmmmmmm heaven!!!
56. Posted by dannyzuko on April 2, 2006 08:14 AM
52. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on April 1, 2006 09:04 AM
yeah. 12 years old. 'cause every 12 year old I know speaks about "how times have changed" and about "all the strippers they knew"..
go smoke some more crack and try again...
57. Posted by cibby on April 2, 2006 07:54 PM
Still, meatball subs and two pizza fridays are pretty good inventions.
58. Posted by boobtube on April 3, 2006 12:28 AM
EH JOEY what you doing groping strippers. married to a formal model would probably be a headache in itself anyways - what has she ever accomplished besides being pretty? at least he has friends (superb acting career), and a bad fucking haircut.
59. Posted by Star Maker Machinery on April 3, 2006 02:33 AM
He probably groped those strippers because he felt the need to look more "hetero" in front of his friends (and then make a subsequent press release so that everyone knew how straight he is). Seriously, wasn't it suspicious that he would be so anxious to make a public apology to his beard, er "wife"? Sort of like how Tom Cruise forces those uncomfortable kisses on Katie (er, I mean "Kate")whenever a jumbotron zeroes in on them at a ballgame.
60. Posted by MizScarlett on April 3, 2006 05:10 AM
No, Joey, no! Zay eet ees not so! You were such zee paragon of virtue, n'est pas? I loved especiallee le blanc stare on your face all zee time. Give me zee call, s'il vous plait?
J'taime - Lilly L'mour
Famous French Whore
61. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 3, 2006 10:18 AM
Ms. Crackalackin, when I said "not that I would know or anything" what I meant to say was "I would know because I used to be a stripper", and when you say "men like me" you are obviously making assumptions about what I said and who I am because you wanted to jump up on a soap box and paint this cute little Disney picture about how "exotic dancers" are real women with real jobs who all have dignity and class and are not prostitutes. I'm glad you could have a platform for your old-fashioned feminist dissertations. Maybe you should rent Showgirls again. Reality is their all whores. Whores with hearts of gold.