March 14, 2006
Scarlett Johansson named prettiest ugly person
Scarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood's most natural beauty by a new poll of members of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Kate Winslet was named second and Catherine Zeta-Jones came in third. Orlando Bloom topped the male list, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Johnny Depp respectively.
Let this be a lesson to all you people out there. If you want to get yourself on a list of the top natural beauties, just put on 30lbs and look like you're supposed to be ugly.
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Comments
1. Posted by SuperSpence on March 14, 2006 03:54 PM
If Scarlett Johanssen is ugly then I want me some ugly tail...pronto!
2. Posted by CoLoStOmY bAg on March 14, 2006 03:59 PM
Gross, she's hideous. Her facial freatures suggest partial down syndrome.
3. Posted by Maeve97 on March 14, 2006 03:59 PM
Scarlett is beautiful. If anyone saw her in "Girl with a Pearl Earring," she was wearing like no makeup (except foundation probably) and looked really good.
4. Posted by Warrior on March 14, 2006 04:03 PM
You forgot to mention her wooden acting.
5. Posted by leafslove on March 14, 2006 04:13 PM
WHAT... the fuck? orlando bloom for most natural male? the only thing natural about him is the baby seals he kills to grease up his hair.
6. Posted by Spindoc on March 14, 2006 04:13 PM
#4 Warrior, I don't know what you are talking about! She was great when she played Corky on the Series "Life Goes On"
7. Posted by ~S.Starr~ on March 14, 2006 04:16 PM
#2 (CoLoStOmY bAg)- You apparently have never seen anyone with down syndrome. Do yourself a favor and google it. Knowledge is power my friend.
In my opinion, Scarlett is a very naturally beautiful. But, Different strokes for different folks I guess.
~S
8. Posted by Tania on March 14, 2006 04:18 PM
She's OVERRATED.
9. Posted by Topaz Vamp on March 14, 2006 04:22 PM
This might have been funny if she really was ugly or 30 pounds overweight, but since she's just kinda cute and "fat" only in the boobs, who cares? What baffles me is Catherine Zeta Jones' place on this list. She isn't natural - ever see her old nose? Like a little potato.
10. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 14, 2006 04:26 PM
i liked her "lost in translation" body. she didn't even need to lose weight. too bad she did.
11. Posted by xAgonyxScenex on March 14, 2006 04:32 PM
There is somehting about her mouth area that is just all wrong. She has a nice body...i'd still hit it. XD
12. Posted by gogoboots on March 14, 2006 04:32 PM
Scarlett is at least a better actress then Lindsay Lohan, who aspires to be in movies that Scarlett gets offered on a daily basis. She's not a bad actress either, she's a lot better than most of the supposed actresses around today. And she has style, but I've noticed her boobs have been popping out of her dresses a lot lately, so I think she needs to tone it down just a bit and start dressing like Reese Witherspoon.
13. Posted by gogoboots on March 14, 2006 04:37 PM
Jake is too HOT! Of course, no complaints about him on the list either....
14. Posted by hafaball on March 14, 2006 04:37 PM
You're right S.Starr, she is very beautiful, and she can stroke me anyday. :D
15. Posted by xAgonyxScenex on March 14, 2006 04:37 PM
gogoboots:
I think the girl should dress how she wants to dress. Not how you think she should dress.
16. Posted by cibby on March 14, 2006 04:53 PM
#9 - Catherine Zeta Jones had plastic surgery? My illusions! Shattering!
Back it up with proof, please!
17. Posted by miadm2002 on March 14, 2006 04:55 PM
Geez, I look better than her!!
18. Posted by xaputa on March 14, 2006 04:58 PM
#12 LOL
I cannot start to immagine how sexy sumptuous Scarlett (uuuuh, aliteration) would look in Reese's Golden Globe dress.
19. Posted by Maeve97 on March 14, 2006 05:06 PM
Cibby:
For Catherine Z-J's old nose:
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/001047.html
20. Posted by Jayne on March 14, 2006 05:07 PM
Depends on her camera angles.
Usually she just looks blah.
Her nose weirds me out.
Why wasn't Alison Lohman number one?
Just because no one knows who she is.. :pout:
21. Posted by that-dog-is-shifty-eyed on March 14, 2006 05:08 PM
this is just farkin' ridiculous.
22. Posted by aura on March 14, 2006 05:24 PM
I think Scarlett looks like an opossum. Her face is really ugly to me... but her body & the fact that she doesn't fakebake are positives. Her skin also looks pretty flawless. butterface? man, c'mon. I think the subject heading for this post is accurate. And Catherine Zeta Jones As people have already pointed out, she's hardly a "natural" beauty! Kate Winslet I buy.
23. Posted by Bunseedsnobunseeds on March 14, 2006 05:32 PM
Ugh. Jake Gyllenhaal? You have to be kidding. Just seeing him shirtless makes me want to get rid of the shag carpeting in my basement.
24. Posted by andrewthezeppo on March 14, 2006 05:36 PM
LOL, LOL, LOL
And where exactly do the far more beautiful fall on that list?
people like... Natalie Portman, Kiera Knightly, Lauren Grahm, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Jamie King, Kate Hudson, Katie Holmes (minus the oral herpes), Sigorney Weaver and Joan Allen are both over 50 and have had no work done, Portia De Rossi, Rachel Bilson, Gretchen Mol, Mandy Moore, Liv Tyler, Miranda Otto, Cate Blanchet, Lucy Liu,
I'm all for nice boobs and everything, but other than that Scarlet is no where near my number 1 natural beauty.
now, on the list of whores who have sex in elevators with ugly old mexican actors she's number 1
25. Posted by Rab1501 on March 14, 2006 05:45 PM
shes onw of the few real movie stars we have, lay off, shes beautiful too.
www.rab1501.com
26. Posted by MeganHarris on March 14, 2006 05:52 PM
I agree with thesuperficial editors. Johanssen is FAT
27. Posted by Warrior on March 14, 2006 05:54 PM
#20 Jayne, Alison Lohman is the shit. Far superior in talent and beauty compared to Scarlett.
28. Posted by HollyJ on March 14, 2006 05:59 PM
I was gonna raise the issue of that fact that Zeta-Jones is about as much a "natural beauty" as Pam Anderson...but I'm way too late on that one. Thanks for pointing it out.
Ok, we can agree that beauty really IS very subjective.
And based on my own very subjective eyeballs, this girl has a seriously fucked-up ugly face. Her face is a triangle with a huge pointy chin...she has a huge long nose with a big round bulb on the end...then there's her beautiful eye bags that no amt of makeup can cover, her malformed lips, and--apparantly--a hairy upper lip (in this photo, anywho).
Nice tits only go so far. Would you find Art Garfunkel hot if he had big perfect tits?
29. Posted by HollyJ on March 14, 2006 06:00 PM
Here's a better pic of her :
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/vecase/Behavior/Spring2004/lyons/Picture4.jpg
30. Posted by mamacita on March 14, 2006 06:01 PM
I happen to think Scarlett is beautiful. Yeah, she's been wearing some booby-popping dresses lately, but damn if she doesn't look good in them. I've actually never seen any of her movies, so I don't know about her acting talent, but I think she's really pretty and different-looking. My sister calls her mushmouth, because she says she can never understand what she's saying in her movies.
31. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 14, 2006 06:02 PM
She looks like she practiced making that face for when the director tells her to act like she's been taking lotsa valium. And Jake Gyllenhaal, wasn't he the Bubble Boy?
32. Posted by arctor on March 14, 2006 06:05 PM
she's hot...but am I the only one that noticed the (badly done) blurring of her face in 90% of the shots in The Island?...
33. Posted by EHsed on March 14, 2006 06:12 PM
#26 - "I agree with thesuperficial editors. Johanssen is FAT"
You're crazy, and the reason I know this is because like 5 years ago I was also crazy like that and would have said the same thing. I bet you starve yourself and puke up a glass of milk because you think it will make you gain weight. One day out of the blue, you're going to look in the mirror and realize that you look like a skeleton and that the people around you who were telling you that you are too skinny aren't trying to sabatoge you but they are acutally concerned about your health. Then you can actually start eating normally and look a thousand times better.
Johanssen is hotter than hot, sweetie. I'd hit it, and I'm not even a lesbian.
34. Posted by Sheva on March 14, 2006 06:15 PM
She looked quite matronly in LIT. Wide and broad with that mother quality some maybe like.
Other than that, when she was on Jay Leno, she clearly had dropped a lot of weight and gotten on a program.
But that cover picture shows she's pretty doughy. But some guys like doughy. I prefer athletic.
35. Posted by fearsarewishes on March 14, 2006 06:15 PM
Nice rack.
36. Posted by amma on March 14, 2006 07:05 PM
Scarlett I get. Kate I get. But Catherine??? Come on...before plastic surgery, she looked positively simian. I mean, even her hair line had to be raised. Give her props, she looks good now...but natural??? No way!
37. Posted by Haroof on March 14, 2006 07:30 PM
She has beautiful cans and a nice natural body.
Does anything else really matter?
Didn't think so.
38. Posted by heifferzzz on March 14, 2006 07:34 PM
AHHHHHHHH idiots, just because some site puts out a VERY old 'before' pic doesn't mean CZJ had plastic surgery. She was probably like 20 or something in that pic and you gotto know, most girls don't develop definitive bone structure (like cheekbones) until they hit their thirties. Her face has become less chubby and her hair's changed that's why her nose looks different! So unless you have got hard facts, Catherine is a natural beauty! & whoever mentioned Keira Knightly, natural beauty my ass, she's 20 & she has already admitted to lip enhancements!
39. Posted by Tania on March 14, 2006 08:22 PM
#30 Mamacita: Mushmouth is a great description for it! It's almost like her tongue is too big for her mouth or something. And her deep transvestive voice...uggh.
40. Posted by Tania on March 14, 2006 08:23 PM
Should have been "transvestiTe voice".
41. Posted by rocawear86 on March 14, 2006 08:38 PM
LOL @ all the Scarlett haters...she is definitely hotter than what u wish you looked like or be lucky enough to get in the sack with.
42. Posted by Binky on March 14, 2006 09:08 PM
She's looking more and more like the 'More Cowbell' chick.
But , I 'd still 'moo'...
43. Posted by Binky on March 14, 2006 09:12 PM
OMG - my 'More Cowbell' chick ad just got replaced by RYAN SEE-PEST !!! How do I change my 'cookies' back to Oreo ? The HORROR !!
44. Posted by Evangelia on March 14, 2006 10:08 PM
#32 i think you're the one one who even SAW the island.
45. Posted by Evangelia on March 14, 2006 10:09 PM
#32 i think you're the one one who even SAW the island.
46. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 14, 2006 10:24 PM
Yeah she's really ugly. I'm sure glad MY girlfriend doesn't look like that. I definetly wouldn't want to go down on that for about 3 days straight. No WAY I'm letting her blow me, that's for sure.
47. Posted by rocawear86 on March 14, 2006 10:53 PM
@ 46, sarcasm right?
48. Posted by laluz on March 14, 2006 11:12 PM
Scarlett is actually unique in the homogenous world of Hollywood, and yes she is a natural beauty and a natural actress, as many people in the industry have stated on numerous occacions. I think they would know more about being a natural actress than a bunch of people sitting around on the net wasting their work day. As for the natural beauty issue... to each their own, but I know most women would love to have her figure and clear skin. If you see her in her tight clothing in _The Island_ (or if you look up pictures on the net if you deemed it unworthy to see - many of you are obviously good at that), she has a beautiful body. Her *naturally* large breasts give her the illusion of being heavier than she is when she's featured in head shots or is wearing loose clothing (as she often does). Are these the butt, legs, and ankles of someone who is "fat"? I think not:
http://images.popsugar.com/uploads11/scarlett-3.14-2.jpg
And word to #7.
49. Posted by CheekyChops on March 15, 2006 12:20 AM
Okay, who voted? Blind people?
50. Posted by mamacita on March 15, 2006 01:12 AM
#48
I agree with you that Scarlett is beautiful, but you snuck this little gem in there:
"I think they would know more about being a natural actress than a bunch of people sitting around on the net wasting their work day."
without considering the fact that your're sitting around on the net wasting your work day.
51. Posted by TheRegulator on March 15, 2006 01:19 AM
Hollywood's most natural beauty?
Are these people insane?
The girl is just ugly. Yeah, something's not right in that gene pool.
She reminds me of that weird looking, pasty bi-sexual chick everyone knew in high school.
Something about her really grosses me out.
52. Posted by nbk on March 15, 2006 02:03 AM
I think Scarlett is pretty. But something about her acting role in each movie made her look much older than she really is. Do you people know that Scarlett is actually younger than Ashley Simp?
53. Posted by benjamin01 on March 15, 2006 03:58 AM
The concepts of a universal "#1 Most beautiful" and gloabally "#1 sexiest" are flat absurd, anyway.
Scarlett's appearance does fill a niche in Hollywood -- no one else looks like her, which can't be said for about 85% of Hollywood females.. so I'd agree that she is the #1 most unique looking among "the current pool of actresses and wannabe actresses who have blown at least one of the 'right' directors to make sure they've gotten some effective press & p.r.".
54. Posted by Bo_Smith on March 15, 2006 04:41 AM
#39 Haha... "Lost in Transvestite"
I think she resembles a pig a nice fat piggy wiggy LOL.
55. Posted by neophyte on March 15, 2006 05:22 AM
I'd do her.
As for the males, Gyllenhaal and Bloom over Depp?
56. Posted by mamaE on March 15, 2006 08:58 AM
in response to #24
if you think angelina jolie is a natural beauty, you are sadly mistaken. she is about as natural as easy cheez. check out all the pics at this site if you doubt it.
http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/05/12/the-young-angelina-jolie-a-pictorial-shaukat-aziz-brad-pitt/
that upper lip looks a lot bigger these days, and her nose is undoubtedly slimmer and more defined. and if anyone says that lips inflate and noses shrink that much with age, you're a fool. like whoever said catherine zeta-jones' nose looks better now because her hairline miraculously improved itself. yeah... that happens to men all the time, and makes their noses look BIGGER!
57. Posted by mamaE on March 15, 2006 08:59 AM
in response to #24
if you think angelina jolie is a natural beauty, you are sadly mistaken. she is about as natural as easy cheez. check out all the pics at this site if you doubt it.
http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/05/12/the-young-angelina-jolie-a-pictorial-shaukat-aziz-brad-pitt/
that upper lip looks a lot bigger these days, and her nose is undoubtedly slimmer and more defined. and if anyone says that lips inflate and noses shrink that much with age, you're a fool. like whoever said catherine zeta-jones' nose looks better now because her hairline miraculously improved itself. yeah... that happens to men all the time, and makes their noses look BIGGER!
58. Posted by Mugato on March 15, 2006 10:13 AM
"no one else looks like her"
Laura Prepon is her doppleganger.
59. Posted by benjamin01 on March 15, 2006 10:23 AM
I don't think Laura Prepon looks like her, but maybe it's just this photo:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0696059/
60. Posted by manunited on March 15, 2006 11:14 AM
If someone kicked her face in with spikes it would be dingo her a favor - she is disgusting! Big boobs will only get you so far.
uuggh, I can't stand looking at her assface.
61. Posted by manunited on March 15, 2006 11:15 AM
Sorry for the typo - "dingo" apparently means "doing".
Apologies...
62. Posted by BlairTheLostCause on March 15, 2006 11:42 AM
I'd like to dip my chip in that cheese. But if I did she'd say "that's nacho cheese". Then she'd arresst me for squeezing her pefectly pillowy breasts like that queer guy at the Golden Globes.
63. Posted by outfoxed on March 15, 2006 12:25 PM
Exhibit A for not being a natural beauty: she dyes her hair. Fatness and ugliness fall in here afterwards, by point of fact that both 'fatness' and 'ugliness' are natural things.
64. Posted by faghag on March 15, 2006 12:49 PM
Boring, splobby dimwit with delusions of talent and an inflated ego. Overrated is an understatement.
65. Posted by jipi on March 15, 2006 01:11 PM
S.J. is definitely fugly.
She tries really hard to be stylish and sophisticated though I think she only ends up looking aged.
Her features are a good example of "desirable" features that DON'T quite work.
Lips->those naturally big lips look anything but sexy. She seems to love them though as she is always making them so obvious.
Eyes-> more like blank, stupid stare. why does she have to "look" in that way?
body-> so average and unremarkable
She also needs to stop pretending to be a blonde! and her personality, um, where is it?
66. Posted by up_north on March 15, 2006 02:18 PM
For the record, without being insulting, Scarlett is absolutely average, and the term
"beauty" is a gross exageration. Where has public taste gone?
67. Posted by up_north on March 15, 2006 02:18 PM
For the record, without being insulting, Scarlett is absolutely average, and the term
"beauty" is a gross exageration. Where has public taste gone?
68. Posted by Dee on March 15, 2006 08:31 PM
forehead power
69. Posted by heifferzzz on March 16, 2006 04:48 AM
#57 Acceptance is the key!! just because some site publishes an agesss ago before photo & compares them to a recent glamourous photo doesn't mean every celebrity has had plastic surgery. Just accept that some women are born very beautiful, it maybe unfair but that's just the way it is! I said CZJ's hair, as in hairstyle, had improved not her hairline, read through the comment again!!
70. Posted by Tetsuo on March 16, 2006 07:11 AM
You dipshits who don't believe Catherine Zeta-Jones has had plastic surgery obviously never saw shit of her pre-Hollywood. She was decided homely in Darling Buds of May. Doable, but miles shy of what she looks like now. Y'all just need to accept that some women are born beautiful and some have beauty surgically thrust upon them. And that fame hag is certainly one of the latter.
71. Posted by April on March 17, 2006 02:32 AM
Scarlett isn't ugly, but she isn't exactly attractive either...she's just sort of average looking. Kate should've gotten 1st place. As for the guys....Johnny's handsome and Orlando's alright, but Jake? Ugh.
72. Posted by heifferzzz on March 17, 2006 02:42 AM
Well you dumbasses that think CZJ has had surgery have the onus of proof, so unless you've got HARD evidence then we dipshits will continue to think as we do...CZJ is a NATURAL BEAUTY!! She just grew up from way back when!!
73. Posted by Aimlessway on March 17, 2006 07:44 PM
If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don't know what you guys are thinking. Haven't you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison...
74. Posted by Aimlessway on March 17, 2006 07:45 PM
If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don't know what you guys are thinking. Haven't you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison...
75. Posted by Aimlessway on March 17, 2006 07:46 PM
If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don't know what you guys are thinking. Haven't you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison...
76. Posted by Aimlessway on March 17, 2006 07:47 PM
Ooh, my bad for spamming up there.
77. Posted by JacksonWallace on March 20, 2006 06:10 AM
Scarlett gave me total wood back in Lost In Translation. ok, how long ago was that? Four years? Let me explain it to you.
Some women are totally hott when they're 17, and then keep growing and ballooning outward into larger women into their twenties. Other women are sticks when they're 17 and turn into hot tamales by 23, and are lucky because they can stay that way for decades. Its not a judgment call on looks, or that women should have to be what they arent, but the slender 'ideal' is something that most women cannot maintain. Like a friend of mine said, everyone looks good at 17. Not everyone looks as good at however old she is 22, especially in this consumer society. I had a gf once who was so hott at 19, but she just kept growing into a larger beast-like football player. Another sleek brunette at 19 had her ass balloon two years later. It happens. Sure, some of it is a lack of exercise, some of its just that we've gotten used to a skinnier hipless ideal. Giselle Bundchen is great, but she is totally hipless and kind of gross at the wrong angles. SJ's looks were just more striking younger. her ass in sheer undies was quite a sight in LIT, but that's why they call it lingerie - suggestion, not reality. People can think she's attractive, but I can just feel in most of her pics, including the Vanity Fair one, that she's no longer the explosive beauty she was. She seems plainer.
Aguilera is another example. What's odd and cute soon turns into adult and average.
Its just the luck of the draw. Live by your face, die by your face.
Noone's obligated to keep thinking you're the most gorgeous if you just plain arent anymore.