March 10, 2006

Neverland is shut down

*michael_jackson_neverland.jpgMichael Jackson was ordered to shut down his Neverland Valley Ranch on Thursday by California authorities. The ranch was closed by an agent of the State Labor Commissioner after the office discovered that his worker's compensation policy had lapsed in January. Local animal welfare officials have been asked to care for the inhabitants of Neverland's zoo. The order prohibits Jackson from employing anyone at the 2,800-acre ranch until the insurance issues are resolved.

More bad news for Michael. No Neverland, no sex children. And thus the garden of hairless delights is gone. But maybe he'll recover. Maybe he'll start a new place. More honestly named. Like MolesterLand. As in "what happens in MolesterLand, better damn well stay in MolesterLand."

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Comments

1. Posted by lysistrata11 on March 10, 2006 11:01 AM

It's about damned time.

2. Posted by Chris'sMom on March 10, 2006 11:02 AM

His nose looks like its going to fall off. Ewww. How gross.

3. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 10, 2006 11:03 AM

i want that photo blown up x10000 and hung on my livingroom wall.

4. Posted by SuperSpence on March 10, 2006 11:03 AM

The Michael Jackson Pre-pubescent Male Genital Examination and Manipulation Center [Bahrain Chapter].

5. Posted by Jacq on March 10, 2006 11:19 AM

Superspence is superhilarious today!

6. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 10, 2006 11:26 AM

I swear we could put pictures of Michael in a Natural History Museum in the Ape section, and no one would know the difference.

7. Posted by prideofchucky on March 10, 2006 11:40 AM

Just my luck- I had season passes for Neverland. Wasn't cheap either- it set me back 5 ziplock bags of my own semen.

8. Posted by Jayne on March 10, 2006 11:44 AM

...it's been a while now hasn't it.

9. Posted by christina_the_wench on March 10, 2006 11:45 AM

Ew prideofchucky. I hope Michael didn't help you dispense it. 'Course you're probably over 10 yrs. old so nevermind.

10. Posted by HollyJ on March 10, 2006 11:59 AM

I think I hear the sighs of relief of thousands of little boy anuses all over Southern California.

11. Posted by Cornholio on March 10, 2006 12:00 PM

There is not sufficient time to count the ways that Michael/Michaela is just so wrong.

OK, so he molested kids at Neverland for YEARS and they are just now shutting that perv trap down....because his insurance expired?? Oh well, whatever it takes I guess.

I hope that freakazoid stays in Behrain.

12. Posted by tieveasilona on March 10, 2006 12:11 PM

i wonder if it is too late for him to get a face transplant?

13. Posted by frangly on March 10, 2006 12:12 PM

Jeez, just look at that picture. Remember how good looking he was when Thriller came out? After just a *little* bit of plastic surgery? Why would he have wanted to tamper with that further?

I wonder if the Bahrainis are more tolerant of child abuse? I mean, really.

14. Posted by Spindoc on March 10, 2006 12:19 PM

I wonder if they are finding rooms full of lost innocents and vats of childrens tears down in the basement.....I feel bad for Michael, without the blood of make virgins to sustain him he will soon begin to rot.

15. Posted by thatshot on March 10, 2006 12:34 PM

Am I the only one that kind of feels bad for him? Okay so yeah he's a child molester... but this man has serious issues - and the only thing that made him happy was like, pretending he was peter pan with the lost boys and living in Neverland. I think it's sad.

16. Posted by senin on March 10, 2006 12:36 PM

Check out the color of his lips - looks like he was into the Jesus juice...

17. Posted by BabyBayBayLeigh010 on March 10, 2006 12:38 PM

why THAT picture...its hideous and scary!

next time whip out one from thriller or something!

18. Posted by boredatwurk on March 10, 2006 12:44 PM

Does anyone else feel a certain giddy delight seeing this man go down? I don't have a lot of compassion for child molesters.

19. Posted by Pearly on March 10, 2006 12:55 PM

I have to agree with #18 here. Boo Hoo for Michael you know? He only had milions of dollars to make him feel better. He should have spent it on a psychiatrist! As for that face it makes me sad..I'm dating myself here but I remember when Off The Wall came out and he was so handsome..even the surgery just before Thriller came out horrified me. Like why are you so ashamed of your nose? You are a black man! Ragingly successful and so you cut your nose off?
I knew he was a nutcase right then and there.

20. Posted by Zanna on March 10, 2006 01:02 PM

so hard to believe this used to be him:

http://mjnolimit.free.fr/img/album/chanson/OTW/OTW.jpg

21. Posted by Cynicharisma on March 10, 2006 01:16 PM

I don't know if you guys have seen this, but it made me laugh like a monkey. It's just another picture of Michael jackson (or as I've started calling him, the "missing link").

http://www.zoltron.com/apes/

22. Posted by wildchildintn on March 10, 2006 01:31 PM

Wouldn't it be funny if that was really a mask he was wearing all these years, hiding his original black face...lol...if he starts peeling that shit off, then I'll truly be shocked..otherwise, been there/seen that :o)

23. Posted by hafaball on March 10, 2006 01:49 PM

Or he could just buy a house and hopefully live in seclusion for the rest of his life. And not call it any weird names...can't he just be a normal human? I'm sure he's a nice guy once you get to know him...but not too well O.o

24. Posted by amma on March 10, 2006 01:56 PM

Monster is the right word. I'm sorry for whatever happened to him that he became the way he is...But I agree with #18, he needs to go down, hard and fast. And I for one will be beyond delighted to watch. Its been way too long in coming.

25. Posted by playahater101 on March 10, 2006 02:12 PM

Yes, I agree with you #18 & 24. I have absolutely no sympathy for this man and enjoy watching his world crumble. My full satisfaction will be complete when those 3 innocent kids are taken away from him.

Speaking of, in case anyone was wondering how he produced those kids, here's an interesting story I posted on the other Michael Jackson story but I think we all got caught up in the Paris Herpes story.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,186849,00.html

26. Posted by Spacedog on March 10, 2006 02:16 PM

I see dead people.

27. Posted by Spacedog on March 10, 2006 02:17 PM

I see dead people.

28. Posted by The Lazy Asian on March 10, 2006 02:21 PM

I heard that he's thinking of converting to Islam. Assuming he converts as a woman, at least he'll get to cover his face.

29. Posted by Spindoc on March 10, 2006 02:35 PM

I find it interesting that nobody in any paper is pointing out the glaringly obvious. That he is a transvestite. When he lives in America he wears make-up, false eyelashes, lipstick, Blush and long flowing wigs. When he goes to the Middle East he wears the long gown that women wear and uses the woman's bathroom. The papers here will insist on calling him Eccentric etc... but if they are going to avoid the OBVIOUS child molester angle, you think they would at least point out the obvious, that they guy dresses like a woman. Oh yeah, one more thing, I think that he has corey Haim locked up in his basement.

30. Posted by missscoobie on March 10, 2006 02:35 PM

like the Islams would take his sorry ass. or face.
I can't tell them apart.

31. Posted by Spindoc on March 10, 2006 02:36 PM

I find it interesting that nobody in any paper is pointing out the glaringly obvious. That he is a transvestite. When he lives in America he wears make-up, false eyelashes, lipstick, Blush and long flowing wigs. When he goes to the Middle East he wears the long gown that women wear and uses the woman's bathroom. The papers here will insist on calling him Eccentric etc... but if they are going to avoid the OBVIOUS child molester angle, you think they would at least point out the obvious, that they guy dresses like a woman. Oh yeah, one more thing, I think that he has corey Haim locked up in his basement.

32. Posted by Sister Morphine on March 10, 2006 02:59 PM

Awww, gee. I'm like, all sad and broken up about it.

Fuck Michael Jackson. I hope that while he's in the Middle East, he tries to touch a little boy, and the cut his balls off.

33. Posted by Spacedog on March 10, 2006 03:58 PM

I see dead people.

34. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 10, 2006 04:35 PM

Peter Pan

You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!

35. Posted by pickletickle on March 10, 2006 04:43 PM

I heard that the hair on his face is actually pubic hair that he had to have transplanted because he had gone thru electrolisis a while back, then decided he wanted facial hair...

36. Posted by Jacq on March 10, 2006 05:25 PM

#6 - In days of old yes, no one would notice. Now they'd have to estabish a 'white noseless woman' exhibit and he'd melt into the walls.
Seriously, I wish the AP would start using old photos of him. From back when he looked black, wore no make-up and bore some semblence (sp) of being a man.

37. Posted by boredatwurk on March 10, 2006 06:57 PM

#31 heh heh. Corey Haim. I wondered why he disappeared.

38. Posted by jida on March 10, 2006 07:34 PM

He's probably so happy that he is walking around free. What a close call. It really is a miracle he didn't get convicted.

39. Posted by Hara on March 10, 2006 07:44 PM

Dang..... at least he's still hot.

40. Posted by prideofchucky on March 10, 2006 08:35 PM

Hara has major problems...
Michael's already making a new theme park! One ride is supposed to have alot in common with Knotts Berry Farm's LOGRIDE...

Well maybe just a common name since his LOGRIDE has no water or boats but it does involve lining up little boys, dark tunneling caves and lots of screaming/crying!

41. Posted by Dee on March 10, 2006 08:53 PM

you guys found a good pic of him for a change...

42. Posted by Pez_D_Spencer on March 10, 2006 09:01 PM

29 - "I think that he has corey Haim locked up in his basement."

Well, for that, at least, the world owes him a debt of gratitude. It would be nice if he could get Corey Feldman down there, too, but that would deprive the world of the hilarity that is the Corey Feldman Truth Experience.

Seriously - if anyone ever gets the chance, you have to go see Feldman's band. "Hysterically funny" doesn't even begin to describe it...

43. Posted by QOTD on March 10, 2006 10:24 PM

OMG! He looks like something that was created by the Puppet Master. Holy Mother of God!! #10 you are hilarious! LMAO...

44. Posted by Fatty Boom-Batty on March 10, 2006 10:29 PM

Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl that thinks that I am the one. But, the kid is not my son. HE-HE!


What bitterly ironic foreshadowing...

45. Posted by lastangelman on March 11, 2006 02:40 AM

Why the al-Khalifah family allows this freak to remain ... (OOOOMMMMPHHHH)
THIS POST CENSORED BY BAHREIN NATIONAL SECURITY FORCE.
HAVE A NICE DAY (BUKRA INSHALLAH)

46. Posted by slinkhard on March 11, 2006 07:01 AM

I'd hit it.

47. Posted by SierraMist on March 11, 2006 10:54 AM

Oh my God! Its Hard to believe that he was acctually cute at one point in time! What the Hell Happend? ...I swear celebrities can murder any one they want rape any one they want .... and even MOLEST KIDS......but if they got money, they can get off easy....so its about Freakin time mr. molester here got shown that just because he plead innocent , people still knows hes.... GUILTY!

48. Posted by Shaun on March 11, 2006 12:04 PM

He should be locked up.

49. Posted by IgotMINE! on March 11, 2006 09:15 PM

i think hes crazy and does need help...i dont really see alot of crazy people, but the ones i saw werent really running to get help. they believe they are ok. so maybe he does need help.
before i get attacked, im not saying hes right for what hes done, im sayin dude is crazy.

#44: i agree... maybe it went on back then...

#46: ewww...lol

50. Posted by Lord Absu on March 11, 2006 10:04 PM

Mike looks like some hideous latex-skinned animatronic done in the hopes of joining Stan Winston's Creature Workshop.

...

I will now proceed to gracelessly expel this night's delicious dinner all over my keyboard.

51. Posted by gogoboots on March 12, 2006 03:56 PM

ACKKKK! Help, that picture is so scary, great I'll have nightmares all this week now. Thanks a lot superficial!

52. Posted by Elikapeka on March 12, 2006 08:11 PM

Upon opening of MolesterLand, Michael Jackson plans to drop his legal name and take on the title of 'Chester the Molester'. If asked if his new name is a direct insinuation as to the kind of activities he likes to engage in, he will simply claim that he doesn't know what a molester is, and only heard the term on T.V. and thought it had a nice ring to it.

53. Posted by migumbo on March 13, 2006 01:15 AM

Has anyone ever really thought about what it would be like to Michael Jackson? He must easily be the weirdest person alive. I'm suprised he hasn't killed himself.

54. Posted by aimatcha on March 13, 2006 10:34 AM

Once that chick gets electrolysis, she'll be hot.

55. Posted by Moksha on March 14, 2006 12:51 PM

To Sister Morphine (#32), they would give him a medal for touching little boys in the middle east. Those backward Muslims think that women are unclean, and there is nothing better than a nice man-hole. So MJ is their ideal role model. Filthy rich, immune from prosecution and a conscienceless, drug addicted boy-bugger. A perfect middle east combination. He is in his element there. Just feel sorry for the poor misbegotten white children he has stolen and taken there. Their lives have been bent forever and one day they will be writing tell-all books.

56. Posted by Michael Jackson on March 29, 2006 03:15 AM

You people are just so JEALOUS , I am selling Neverland to my good friend Tom Cruise , so he and the Scientologists can carry on my work there.
I am building a new Palace in Bahrain it will be called Tinkerbelland and you people will not be able to touch me.
Na na na na na kiss my butt , love and kisses, especially to my little buddies out there....

57. Posted by Shima01 on April 3, 2006 09:45 PM

I fell for Michael in 1993 when I was 14. Now I am 27 so itt has been 13 years since I've been a fan. I have been emotionally,mentally and sppiritually agonizing for the old, Thriller decade Black Micchael. The one when all that mattered was his soulful beautiful music. But now those days are long gone and unless someone can find and wield a magic wand back to 1983 that "Horrifying" picture above is what we're left with. But let us be thankful for modern technology and the common camera who managed to capture the beautiful pictures you are about to see. Let us remember what Michael really meant to share with us. His music. Here's the link.

http://www.celebritywonder.com/cgi-bin/frame/frame2.cgi?michaeljackson==http://slayerized.dreamhost.com/mjj/agent/gallery80misc.htm

58. Posted by Shima01 on April 3, 2006 09:45 PM

I fell for Michael in 1993 when I was 14. Now I am 27 so itt has been 13 years since I've been a fan. I have been emotionally,mentally and sppiritually agonizing for the old, Thriller decade Black Micchael. The one when all that mattered was his soulful beautiful music. But now those days are long gone and unless someone can find and wield a magic wand back to 1983 that "Horrifying" picture above is what we're left with. But let us be thankful for modern technology and the common camera who managed to capture the beautiful pictures you are about to see. Let us remember what Michael really meant to share with us. His music. Here's the link.

http://www.celebritywonder.com/cgi-bin/frame/frame2.cgi?michaeljackson==http://slayerized.dreamhost.com/mjj/agent/gallery80misc.htm

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