March 09, 2006
Jessica Simpson goes to Congress
Jessica Simpson will be following in Angelina Jolie's footsteps later this month, when she lobbies members of Congress on behalf of a children's charity. Simpson will head to Washington, DC to speak with lawmakers about Operation Smile, an organization that provides surgery for children with deformed faces. A source claims:
"She's in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good."
I'm not sure Jessica really understands what she has signed herself up for. She probably only heard the name, Operation Smile, and then just signed up. In her mind it's no different than operation rainbow, operation unicorn, or operation chocolate milk land.
Previous Entries
» Nick Lachey gets fired» Natalie Portman is smarter than you
» Tara Reid pays her way out of trouble
» Reese Witherspoon was once a kid
» Britney Spears never leaves the beach
Comments
1. Posted by LickyLicky on March 9, 2006 02:37 PM
FIRST!
2. Posted by Binky on March 9, 2006 02:37 PM
Well she's already signed for "Operation Pizza". Maybe this will turn out less cheesy.
3. Posted by Argus on March 9, 2006 02:40 PM
Dude - Milk Land - Funny As Hell!
4. Posted by Tania on March 9, 2006 02:42 PM
Good to hear that she's out of her whoring-around-with-anything-that-has-a-penis phase.
5. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 9, 2006 02:45 PM
People who fight for "first post" on this site are awesome.
Anyway.
Jessica used to have a really bad skin problem and promoted the use of some skin cream because it helped her skin, I saw some infomercial she did with pictures of her nasty scarred face prior to the treatment, and she talked about having to have her music videos digitally re-touched after filming, to fix her face problem. So, actually, I don't think she's too fish-out-of-water in this situation.
6. Posted by davina85 on March 9, 2006 02:46 PM
Ok let’s get one thing straight here: that bimbo never has and never will be on the same level as jolie. Her movies will continue to be pathetic and hardly impressive; she will never win an oscar, or any other award except maybe moron slut of the year.
7. Posted by miadm2002 on March 9, 2006 02:48 PM
Jessica is a smart moron!
8. Posted by miadm2002 on March 9, 2006 02:49 PM
Jessica is a smart moron.
9. Posted by Doug on March 9, 2006 02:50 PM
"She's in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good" -- is that a tacit confession that, previously, she had been using her celebrity for evil?
10. Posted by Spindoc on March 9, 2006 02:51 PM
It was later claimed that Jessica Simpson had used Acutane but when the company that sells Pro-Active paid her a lot of money she claimed that that is what cured her horrible moon crater acne.
I think she is just helping this charity so she can sneak in and read all the neat books with lots of big pictures.
11. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 9, 2006 02:52 PM
Wouldn't it be great if all the deformed children came out looking like her? Then we could send them all to an island, and call it Smile Island. We would also need to send them large shipments of Proactive.
12. Posted by MeganHarris on March 9, 2006 02:57 PM
yeah, My point exactly. How has she been using her celebrity for EVIL before?
I love Newlyweds. Its a great show. I was fooled.
13. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 9, 2006 02:57 PM
HA! I did not know about that acutane thing.
14. Posted by MeganHarris on March 9, 2006 02:59 PM
yeah, My point exactly. How has she been using her celebrity for EVIL before?
I love Newlyweds. Its a great show. I was fooled.
15. Posted by sugarbuzz on March 9, 2006 03:01 PM
fuck man, i wish i got first dibs on the comment page. That would be like a dream come true. Like as if Jessica fell into a vat of acid and little evil porno fish came over and hog tied her and gang-banged her. That's what i dream of...
16. Posted by beautifulatrocities on March 9, 2006 03:01 PM
Morgan Fairchild once testified to Congress about some natl historical site shit, saying "As a little girl, I dreamed of becoming an archeologist. That didn't happen BUT..."
17. Posted by CheekyChops on March 9, 2006 03:11 PM
Good Lord, when will someone in her close inner circle tell her she's dumb and she'd only be making a huge arse of herself by doing this?
18. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 9, 2006 03:29 PM
English people are cute. They say 'arse' instead of 'ass'. Me, personally, I like 'azz'.
19. Posted by bone_daddio on March 9, 2006 03:38 PM
Operation: Smile is actually a shortened version of the actual name of the visit....Operation: Get on your knees Jessica and make a Congressman smile
20. Posted by CCClub on March 9, 2006 03:46 PM
Actually, "Smile" is the name of a movie about that charity. It's pretty horrible so don't bother looking for it. It just makes me think that retard queen here was touched by the poor acting and bad special effects make-up from the movie and decided to make a difference herself. Whatever, if she ends up actually helping some kids, good for her. We all know she's still a retard.
21. Posted by tits_on_snack on March 9, 2006 03:47 PM
"Arse" is not cute. "Arse" just makes me think of welfare moms living in low-rental housing and wearing sweatpants, running babysitting operations out of their ghetto apartments and threatening the kids into behaving themselves by shrieking "I'll tan yer arse!" with a Virginia Slim hanging out the side of their mouth.
Arse. So not cute.
22. Posted by ONMYQ on March 9, 2006 03:48 PM
Sounds like Jessica has watched Legally Blonde 2 one too many times...ditzy blonde goes to DC and takes over Capital Hill.
23. Posted by downshine on March 9, 2006 03:52 PM
tits_on_snack
arse is ass in Australian, British and Irish speak so why you're thinking about welfare moms i dont know...
24. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on March 9, 2006 03:57 PM
Example: "If you put a gag in her mouth and a bag over her head, Jessica Simpson could be a nice piece of arse."
Adorable.
25. Posted by xaputa on March 9, 2006 04:03 PM
This is soooo awesome!
It means she's gonna speak more about stuff because she has stuff to talk about. Like tits_on_snack just did about arses. Awesome!
26. Posted by Lala on March 9, 2006 04:30 PM
This brings to mind that movie with Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams playing two blonde bimbos who go to Washington. What was the name?
Oh yeah: Dick.
27. Posted by niquehappy.com on March 9, 2006 04:40 PM
"..an organization that provides surgery for children with deformed faces."
She needs to work on hers first.
28. Posted by Dylan on March 9, 2006 04:48 PM
This is a legitimate charity that Jessica and Nick Lachey have been involved with for some time.
29. Posted by xaputa on March 9, 2006 04:48 PM
#27: Why?
She might be a moron and look too tanned and too blonde, but she has a pleasent normal (or even above normal) face. Are you saying she gets help from plastic surgery so she can look like Liberace? That's cunstructive.
30. Posted by Spindoc on March 9, 2006 05:13 PM
#23. Britain, Australia and New Zealand are HUGE welfare states, In Australia you used to be able to immigrate, go on welfare "The dole" and then bring over your entire family and get them on welfare too. They just changed that rule a few years ago, which really pisses Tara Reid off because trust me, the girl is going to need some welfare in a few years.
31. Posted by A2Bcom on March 9, 2006 05:21 PM
Does she know where congress is? LOL Once she finds it though I'm sure she'll do a lot of good. Hell if I saw that begging for money, I'd be flippin out the wallet too!
32. Posted by sexydarin on March 9, 2006 06:59 PM
arse just remind me of people who pronounce 1) Washington as Warshington or 2)I'm going to warsh the clothes.
33. Posted by lylah785 on March 9, 2006 07:35 PM
ok.. jessica going to congress??.. that just sounds stupid.. hmm mcuh like her.
34. Posted by hafaball on March 9, 2006 09:07 PM
Any tanner and she will look Ethiopian. But I wonder if she'll end up adopting 30 kids too...if there weren't enough immigrants all ready, soon every celeb is goona have one..
35. Posted by gogoboots on March 9, 2006 11:36 PM
Hopefully she won't tan the poor children to death, give em' lip implants and bleach their hair blonde. She must have been like, "oh no, they're deformed, how could God do that...!" This is too stupid to be believed and I must refrain from all the dumb blonde jokes now...
36. Posted by VinSlayer on March 9, 2006 11:43 PM
Operation smile: Code name keep from paying Nick Lachey alimony - has officially begun!
37. Posted by Jacq on March 9, 2006 11:45 PM
All this time I KNEW she had been using her celebrity for evil! I'm glad she's come to the other side.
38. Posted by ning_ning on March 10, 2006 03:06 AM
She needs to bring Ashlee with her to show them the real reason she is doing the charity in benfit for Ashlee. Who needs major work done to her face...lol
39. Posted by jager2ways on March 10, 2006 08:54 AM
She may be dumb as a stump but if their were a Milk Land, she'd be the President.
40. Posted by senin on March 10, 2006 09:40 AM
Wouldn't the world be better served by Jess promising not to procreate?
41. Posted by NaughtyBits74 on March 10, 2006 09:46 AM
"She's in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good."
And not for evil? How "noble" of her. She bores me and so does Congress. Maybe that's where she belongs.
42. Posted by Spindoc on March 10, 2006 05:16 PM
Is it just me or does he look like a really hot 40 year old?
43. Posted by newmamaonceagain on March 10, 2006 08:23 PM
Look at her neck! Is she asthmatic? She seems to be grasping for air!
44. Posted by LaydeeBug on March 10, 2006 09:12 PM
Don't forget the Scottish (arse reference).
JS is such a sphincter. She'll make a speech and use words like "nukular" and call it the Oval Orifice, and say what a great job Georgie Bush is doing while swallowin a load of DICK Cheney's jizz.
45. Posted by ir0ny! on March 11, 2006 04:30 PM
looks like "Tan Barbie" is going to Washington!