March 07, 2006
Yanni beats up his girlfriend
Police arrested New Age composer Yanni from his Florida home yesterday on domestic battery charges, after his girlfriend phoned 911 from a locked bathroom.
And while he denies the charges (even if his publicist secretly wishes them true to gain credibility in the 18-34 demographic), it's hard to look at the mugshot and not picture a crazy Yanni, using an ax to break down the bathroom door while shouting "Come out and take your medicine!" before peeking his long-haired head in and exclaiming "Heeere's Yanni!"
Except, you know, in a sexy Greek accent.
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Comments
1. Posted by Violet on March 7, 2006 02:30 PM
Yanni is so creepy. *shudder*
2. Posted by splinter9 on March 7, 2006 02:34 PM
That's Dennis Miller's hair on Billy Bob Thornton's head.
3. Posted by CheekyChops on March 7, 2006 02:43 PM
I guess he's not shagging Linda "I was on Dynasty" Evans anymore. Unless she's become so much of a non-celebrity that she's just known as "Yanni's girlfriend" now.
4. Posted by femmefatale01 on March 7, 2006 03:03 PM
Yeah right. He'd probably break down the door, stick his clarinet in and start playing it to his terrified girlfriend which would cause her to throw herself out the window...oh wait, that's Kenny G...well they both suck.
5. Posted by bjpack on March 7, 2006 03:07 PM
He's going to find out that this whole thing was a waste of his time when they still refuse to make a Behind the Music for him.
6. Posted by Grphdesi23 on March 7, 2006 03:12 PM
Do not f-u-c-k with Yanni!
7. Posted by LoneWolf on March 7, 2006 03:29 PM
In related stories, John Tesh has OD'd and Kenny G has a sex tape coming out. Now all those elevator-music-Mozarts need is some gold teeth and whips rollin on twenny-fo's and they'll have *real* street cred.
Yanni is Greek, eh? His g/f was probably trying to call emergency for a prolapsed rectum.
8. Posted by Thee Wood Nymph on March 7, 2006 03:31 PM
Do you remember when he used to be hot in an ethnic "whose-your-daddy" sort of way? That dark beard - those flowing locks? No?
9. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on March 7, 2006 03:36 PM
Yanni's just going to the street for his inspiration. After seeing "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" win an Oscar for Best Original Song in a Motion Picture, he made the conscious decision to get in touch with his gangsta side in order to fashion a fusion of hardcore hip-hop with new age wonder. Some of his new tracks are "Pimps and Unicorns", "Even Avalon Has a Ghetto", and "Linda Evans Gave Up the Backdoor for Crack." Insiders speculate it will capture those Enya/DMX fans everywhere.
10. Posted by LOOKWHATICANDO on March 7, 2006 03:44 PM
He does look a lil,, hmmmmm Tom Cruise'ish in this photo.. yikes
11. Posted by SuperSpence on March 7, 2006 03:56 PM
My dead grandmother could kick Yanni's ass.
12. Posted by MystressJade on March 7, 2006 03:57 PM
He was extremely hot when he did that Acropolis concert years ago.....he looks like a child molester now.
I raise my rum and coke to posts #7 & #9...prolapsed rectum, yuk...lol
13. Posted by Kimmie on March 7, 2006 04:18 PM
I don't know who Yanni is but he is creepy looking to me.
14. Posted by greekdiva on March 7, 2006 04:45 PM
Who the fuck is this :S
He looks like a sort of pedophile anyways...
15. Posted by Lala on March 7, 2006 04:59 PM
He's the ex-boyfriend of Krystle Carrington from Dynasty.
16. Posted by Zegna on March 7, 2006 05:11 PM
"Heeere's Yanni!"
Hahahahahah..!
17. Posted by Pez_D_Spencer on March 7, 2006 05:15 PM
If Francis Dolarhyde (Tom Noonan) hadn't gotten blown away at the end of Manhunter, I think the booking photo would look a lot like that.
18. Posted by Evangelia on March 7, 2006 05:28 PM
ha ha. don't fuck with the greeks, malaka.
19. Posted by prideofchucky on March 7, 2006 06:25 PM
I guess missed that episode of COPS....
20. Posted by No_Angel on March 7, 2006 06:35 PM
The captions says "Yanni" and my head says "Dennis Miller".
I don't know which one is worse!
Any ideas?
21. Posted by honey on March 7, 2006 08:04 PM
what is the world coming to??
next thing we know, zamfir will be slingin ass on the street to pay for his new pan flute.
22. Posted by ishtar on March 7, 2006 08:14 PM
doesnt his mug look a bit like The Fonz??
23. Posted by The Serial Cynic on March 7, 2006 08:51 PM
I am guessing that "Yanni's girlfriend" put on a copy of "Live at the Acropolis" and he just wigged out and beat the snot out of her. I've reached this conclusion because my mother just loves Yanni, and my dad used to beat the hell out of her.
Wait,... that wasn't funny at all.
I better call my therapist now.
24. Posted by missscoobie on March 7, 2006 09:04 PM
what a tool!
25. Posted by Craig & "em" on March 7, 2006 09:09 PM
Wow! I never thought that this day would come. I guess what I mean is...I thought the headline would read "Yanni's Girlfriend Beats Him Up with a Flute or Whatever Instrument He Plays".
26. Posted by LaydeeBug on March 7, 2006 09:11 PM
Sagapo Baby! Ahhh those sexy wife-beating Mediterraneans. Matakia moo. Linda Evans is his girlfriend. So Crystal Carrington got her ass whupped, huh? As Jerry Seinfeld would say "....mmm...thats-a-shame."
27. Posted by greekdiva on March 7, 2006 09:12 PM
Lmao #18 :P
Damn right
28. Posted by Evangelia on March 7, 2006 09:48 PM
i love you too laydee.
you were talking to me, right?
or i'll beat you up, yanni-style.
29. Posted by hafaball on March 7, 2006 10:59 PM
Ah one of the great reasons to put a phone in the bathroom, to lock yourself away from someone who is potentially trying to harm you. Isn't technology great!?
30. Posted by msassassin on March 7, 2006 11:02 PM
"Except, you know, in a sexy Greek accent"
Erm NO. A Greek accent might sounds sexy at three in the morning while you are waiting for a souvlaki...
31. Posted by Bellisima on March 8, 2006 01:34 AM
How do you say "trailer trash" in Greek? I not wannamakeafucka wit you.
32. Posted by Pez_D_Spencer on March 8, 2006 03:06 AM
Also a bit of Al Pacino from "Heat" in that pic. Although, Yanni probably is less of an over-actor than Al.
WTF ever happened to the Pacino who could play understated roles?
33. Posted by mamacita on March 8, 2006 08:12 AM
Why didn't he just listen to some of his own new-agey-I'll-help-you-relax-in-a-bubble-bath- music and then he wouldn't have been enraged enough to beat his girlfriend's ass. I think his music is one of the reasons that there is so much violence in the workplace. Well, that and the hormones that they inject in chicken.
34. Posted by sikofdis on March 8, 2006 08:16 AM
He redefines sucking on an hourly basis...this made my week! Now, I can only hope that terms of the inevitable restraining order will be for this talentless piece of turd to stay more than 500 feet away from every recording studio on the planet.
35. Posted by Shaun on March 8, 2006 10:22 AM
Hahaha he has the face that should be on the back of a milk carton. "Stay away from this guy".
36. Posted by HollyJ on March 8, 2006 11:32 AM
He snapped because he hadn't had feta or phyllo for two consecutive meals.
Yanni, malakos menos, it's supposed to be Ioannis.
37. Posted by Spindoc on March 9, 2006 05:53 PM
Isn't dating Yanni equivilent to being beat up psychologically?
38. Posted by sexydarin on March 9, 2006 06:48 PM
Smack ma bitch yo yanni smack ma bitch yo
39. Posted by Dee on March 9, 2006 07:53 PM
he looks better now than he ever did...i thought he looked creepier before.