I didn't understand Paula either, I thought she said "Simon says (whatever) "because one of them stinks and the other one sucks". I think that's a better approximation to what I heard and hell, it fits way better!

when the hell ISN'T she incoherent.

really.

What's the big deal? Everybody says this, "the moth who finds the corn flake always finds the melon." I'm pretty sure Ben Franklin wrote that in Poor Richard's Almanac.

she literally just continues to embarrass herself......shes all on the new "i cant find a man" (with dr. phil..aka. dr. mcDumb...even though theres no Mc in his name) and then last year she tried to pass off the MAJOR plastic surjery she had done to her face...she could barely talk, her lips were so big. Shes ridonkulous. almost as much as this post i just did.

I have been looking everywhere for something about this. I was totally amazed last night that she was so out of it. What was more suprising was that Simon even looked a little looped. I think they were having some other form of refreshment personally. Throw down a Vicadin and some Bourbon lately Paula? For the "Wierd Ass I have Pain All the TIme" syndrome she came out with last year... Sure....

For the first tiem ever, I actually felt bad for the dweebs on Idol. She was totally torqued.

Maybe after this year she will retire so she can spend some time at Betty Ford. Then they can get Debiie Gibson instead. Hell, she was a child star anyway. What was Paula, like 30 when she started out?

Paula hon, I have one word for you: ELOCUTION!

el·o·cu·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (l-kyshn) n. The art of public speaking in which gesture, vocal production, and delivery are emphasized. A style or manner of speaking, especially in public.

That wasn't even slightly funny, she didn't come off as drunk at all.

To post number 6, Azcoyote, Paula Abdul's birthday is 6-19-62, which makes her 43 years old. Debbie Gibson is in her mid 30's. She could use the job. What the hell happen to her?

actually i dont think she was drunk.....i think it was damage control from when her and simon fought on tuesday when the girls were performing. i think she was suppose to act all happy and goofy to simon cuz there was backlash over the fight in the papers. so i think it was a attempt to look funny and instead made her look retarded.

#8: Tha-Flash,

I totally agree with you. And to top it off whoever recorded it from their television needed to take out time to at least fix the tracking. Just SCANDALOUS!

I wasn’t able to catch Idol last night, as I had to work, but I wish I could have! I don’t think she was drunk…I think she was trying to be funny. According to the posts on here, she obviously failed. Whatever. I like the cornflake/melon analogy. I’m not quite sure what it means – okay, I have no idea what she was trying to say, or maybe what Simon was trying to say when he told her that – but it’s…amusing, at the very least. This makes me wonder…what on earth did Simon say to her for her to get THAT out of it? I cannot think of one thing he could have said involving melons, cornflakes, moths, and fortune cookies that would make sense.

You'd have to be a drunk to work on this show. I know it's popular, but who the hell watches this crap?

P.S. It also could have been some kind of weird inside joke...

If you didnt see the show last night and are just basing this off the clip shown above then no she doesnt seem drunk. But if you watched the show last night it was ver obvious the she was indeed very drunk or heavily medicated. The whole show she could barely keep her eyes open and her head up. She speaks more during the end and it is very clear she is FUCKED UP!!!

Thank god somebody else noticed Paula was sloshed last night!

#4 Yes, Dr. Phil DOES have a Mc in his name, hello!! Dr. Phil McGraw is his name. Who's the McDumb now??

#9 Debbie was just on Skating with the Stars, so you're right, she does need the job.

She's probably getting wasted because she has such deep regret for messing around with Corey Clarke and now the producers are keeping her away from all the contestants..."I fucked Corey Clarke when I could be fucking Ace Young???????? I am a complete IDIOT!!!!! My life has lost all meaning and worth.......Where is my perocet and my vibrator?"

!!!

I THOUGHT she was really tipsy the other night - how awesome is that? Paula Abdul is like a one woman freak show lately and I just love it. And I love how Simon just sat there, smiling and laughing, like Paula going all Tara Reid on his ass was just the greatest thing ever.

Maybe next week Randy will scarf down a pan of "special brownies" that Seacrest made on the air and Simon will do Jell-o shots. And then they'll all make out on stage and roll around in a sea of Paula's old CDs, and Ruben Studdard will twirl around on a stripper pole off on the side, dressed as Ryan Dunkelman. RATINGS DOMINATION, BIATCH.

shes a genius...

It was her desperate, incoherent plea to get Emilio Estevez back.

It is hard for me to bear even the faintest allusion to the possibility that Paula Abdul might be mentally challenged. I went to community college with her, and she, along with Joe Rogan, was always top of class.

She always seems high as a kyte on the show, I know she has got to be on something. That woman has gobs of issues..

I haven't been watching this season, but last season didn't Simon say something about a steak vs a burger and toss around some other bizarre, cryptic food analogies like that? You sure Abdul isn't just making fun of Simon? She's not slurring so bad as I'd expected (darn it).

I don't watch the dreck that is "american Idol", but I would have loved to have seen this. Unfortunately, the clip is not here (5:00pm EST). Was it taken down already for fear of a lawsuit?

I thought the exact same thing and it was confirmed by the glee on Simon's face as she tried to do the quote he'd given her.

I think it's because she pissed off Homeland Security and a whole bunch of people on her flight before the show: http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2006/Mar-03-Fri-2006/news/6147377.html

AMERICAN IDOL BLOWS. i've watched it once and i thought it was teh stupidest show ever. i really don't see the appeal. Same thing with skating with celebrities or whatever the hell it's called. i dont even care. paula abdul's "time of fame" is over so i think we should move on now and actually do it on interesting people... she's really not even worth my time and i cannot belive i actually wasted my time writing this...

I personally didn't think she was as bad as she was earlier in the week when she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

You can see some of that train wreck here -

http://www.theblogyoulovetohate.com/2006/02/28/paula-abdul-likes-to-seek-attention-through-assault/

Her smile when Simon finally tells her to knock the shit off is totally creepy.

what a disaster.

Hey No. 18 (Sparkling Starlet), that was frighteningly funny scene you described! They just might stoop to that level someday. After all, making fun of Wannabe Idols gets kinda old--don'tcha think?

"Simon gave me advice and said on 'The X Factor' he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon - (laughter) - finds the corn flake always finds the melon and one of you didn’t pick the right fortune"

That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.

I love Paula Abdul.

Well I did see it unlike some others who are judging from that lame clip, but she was definately, 'on', something. She was silly and incoherant. I bet she woke up sick and embarrassed today.

Have you people seen that show? Of course you would have to be drunk or high to make it through all of that caterwauling. Good for her.

Sidenote:

This is the best quality video to post? Jesus! Using a video cam on the tv...
I guess no one has vcr's anymore.

Bill Maher saw this coming last week, when he commented how Abdul always seems stoned on the show. This week, her woozy performance hilariously validated what he said! Go, Paula, go!

dude it's so obvious that she's madly in love with simon.

The night before was better than this. She said a very sexy "Hi Ace" and Simon whispered under his breath, "careful". Hahaha guess they don't want her getting up to her old tricks.

I love idol- call me a 13 year old girl, I don't care. I act like one but my boobs are bigger. Anyway, I love idol. Did I already say that? Anyway, I was drunk when I watched it, just like I did when I was 13 and Paula was no sober-one-kanobi....

Not that I'm defending her and not that she hasn't seemed a bit out of it, but I suspect the pizza and salad crack was a nasty little weight reference...one of was good about her diet, but the other...

I'm a thirteen year old girl and I don't find it that strange at all. My daddy is always telling my mommy to get him some fucking pizza and shove some salad up his crack. I don't know what it means...but I don't find it strange. What I find strange is boys and Simon's boobs.

I loke the way she held her lower jaw perfectly still and joggled the rest of her fat head when she talked!

^ heh I meant 'like' ^

#18 That was the funniest thing I have ever heard!!!! I laughed so hard when I read that...very creative!

I know that Paula Abdul was definitely buzzing the other night... Paula could barely keep her head up- let alone look into the camera, she was giggling, and nothing she said made sense. She was so trashed...I like to throw a few back every once in awhile and I can pick out a wasted person when I see one.

had no choice but to watch the show (wife's a fan, no seriously...) - and as we were watching I actually said "is she drunk?", then later came to the conclusion she was on something.

What I really found offensive - the kid was getting kicked off, and these twits appear to be laughing at him (trust me, in his mind, they were laughing at him) - how they were able to sing, I'll never know - I think I would have walked off.

I've seen a handful of episodes of American Idol and I will never forget the episode in, I think it was season 2, when a tubby rocker-type guy was in a group of contestants at a hotel when Paula, Simon, and Randy came into the room to tell them all they'd been accepted into the next round. Everyone starts cheering apeshit and then Paula gets picked up and hugged by this guy who starts crying with her and says in her ear (caught on the mic), "I still rememeber the first time I ever heard you sing, I was laid up in a hospital bed," blah blah blah as if to imply "Straight Up" really helped him get over some sort of recovery hump he'd been battling. And Paula's crying and yayaya, blah blah blah. This woman doesn't have the self-awareness to know that this guy was full of shit to imply that her early 90's bubblegum crappy, watery, overproduced bullshit music career meant a damn thing to some Oakie from Muskogee Metallica fan lying cunt-up in a hospital bed and fighting for life.

I've seen the videos, she's definitely drunk or on meds and not getting some sort of attention that she needs from Simon. He's trying to tell her to back off, that she's going to far, she doesn't listen, he appluads her moving seats. There's something going on between those two that is obviously affecting their professional relationship and she's boozin' it up in order to handle it.

Now we know why she can't get or keep a man. Can you imagine, "Paula, honey, I can't come over tonight, I've got a ton of paperwork to do to meet this deadline."
"How dare you call me FAT! God, you always have to be right, don't you?" :slap kick punch:.

I dream of a day when I can get out of bed and never have to look at another Paula Abdul outfit or mishap ever again.

Can we replace Paula with that ghetto reject bitch Rhonetta?

You think I'm gonna drink offa you, bitch?

Now, that's good television.

That's how I decide who gets pardoned or not.

Hasn't she admitted to taking some serious pain pills for an old back injury? Cheerleading stunt gone bad or something. She may not have been drunk, but maybe she popped an extra pill *by accident*. Or maybe she was just dizzy from when Simon got her naked and pinned her against a wall in her dressing room before the show started. Either/Or.

Poster # 28 - She is wrecked in this episode:

http://www.theblogyoulovetohate.com/2006/02/28/paula-abdul-likes-to-seek-attention-through-assault/

She is still a cutie though.

If She's On Medication She Needs To Make A Public Announcement , If Shes Drunk She Needs To Resign From Her Job On American Idol, After All The Watcher Base Is Mostly Children.Of Coarse My Kids Don't Know The Difference In Drunk Paula Or Normal Paula.She Was Trashed Either Way Lastnight Also .