February 24, 2006
Daniel Craig can't drive 007's car
New 007 Daniel Craig shocked producers of Casino Royale when he revealed that he cannot actually drive Bond's trademark Aston Martin. Craig told Bond bosses that he is actually only qualified to drive an automatic transmission vehicle, which was a huge problem with driving the manual Aston Martin DB5. Filming had to be halted so that the actor could actually learn how to drive the fictional spy's hi-tech car.
This is getting ridiculous. Our new James Bond can't get even a d-list actress to pair up with him, gets his teeth knocked out, can't drive a stick, and looks like his face was carved out of yogurt. The only way it could get worse is if he spent the entire movie in pink hot pants with the words "shaken, not stirred" on his ass and introduced himself as "agent double-o-pretty princess."
Thanks to Jacqueline for the tip.
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Comments
1. Posted by mamacita on February 24, 2006 11:34 AM
I,for one, happen to think this new James Bond is pretty hot. Check this picture out.
http://people.aol.com/people/galleries/0,19884,1161618_6,00.html
Not too shabby, I say.
2. Posted by Binky on February 24, 2006 11:37 AM
The PR is getting a bit feeble for this flick, when they have to promote the new Bond as "licenced to drive"
3. Posted by Maeve97 on February 24, 2006 11:37 AM
You've got to be kidding me. How believable can this guy be as a sexy spy super agent when he can't even drive stick? I wouldn't consider dating a man that couldn't drive stick. What a gine.
4. Posted by Devil Is Chrome on February 24, 2006 11:38 AM
A man who cannot operate a manual transmission just isn't a man.
Am I wrong?
5. Posted by sqongo on February 24, 2006 11:39 AM
Daniel Craig is a real actor,maybe not as pretty as Pierce,but 100% better actor!!
6. Posted by theyareidiots on February 24, 2006 11:41 AM
Devil, you are correct. A man who cannot drive a stick is Al Reynolds. Just ask Star.
7. Posted by uncommonamerican on February 24, 2006 11:46 AM
Is Kevin Federline doing the title track for this film?
8. Posted by Xanthia on February 24, 2006 11:47 AM
Whoa! And nice feet too - I LIKE!
9. Posted by Coren on February 24, 2006 11:48 AM
Y'know who'd make a better 007...Austin Powers...
Get Mike Myers on the phone!!!!
10. Posted by kuennen sux on February 24, 2006 11:58 AM
Where can I get a pair of those panties?
11. Posted by Jayne on February 24, 2006 11:59 AM
awwwwwww no one's perfect.
Especially...not him.
I can't stand Pierce so I hope this guy makes the Bond movies a tad more interesting.
Hell, these stories themselves makes me eager enough to watch Casino Royale.
12. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 24, 2006 12:02 PM
Get rid of the pommie!
Jesus, EVEN my mother can drive a standard. What kind of Englishman is he? Flipping fagola!
13. Posted by always answer b on February 24, 2006 12:02 PM
Which again makes me wonder, why oh WHY didn't they just stick with Clive Owen? Now that man can DRIVE. He was the driver in many of those short BMW films featured on their website. Not to mention that he just LOOKS so much more Bond, as well.
14. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 24, 2006 12:04 PM
Nice Detls and Lats, though. (Shoot, I ain't BLIND!)
15. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 24, 2006 12:04 PM
Oops Delts
16. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 24, 2006 12:05 PM
CLIVE OWEN!!!!CLIVE OWEN!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!
17. Posted by SMF121490 on February 24, 2006 12:07 PM
Okay, let me get this straight. This guy is going to try to compete with Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton, and Pierce Bronson in the looks department? I don't think so. And, he can't even drive the fricken car.
18. Posted by lysistrata11 on February 24, 2006 12:22 PM
This guy is going to be another George Lazenby. He'll be in one film and the viewers are going to ABSOLUTELY hate it. He looks like he was carved out of wax and has all the personality of a scarecrow.
19. Posted by gossipmonger on February 24, 2006 12:25 PM
He's creepy looking, in my opinion. It doesnt matter what he looks like naked, I dont think I could get past that face...
20. Posted by lysistrata11 on February 24, 2006 12:34 PM
By the way, in that picture (post #1) doesn't it look like he has a pin head on huge shoulders?
21. Posted by kenniem on February 24, 2006 12:40 PM
At first I was not pleased with the choice, but then I saw him in Layer Cake and he really is a good actor.
And really some of the Pierce ones were so painful to watch at times.
22. Posted by Bob Denver on February 24, 2006 12:42 PM
If you haven't seen Layer Cake you shouldn't even comment on this guy as an actor.
As long as he does a better job than Peirce did in the last two gawd-awful Bond films, then it will be a blessing.
23. Posted by dimestoredetective on February 24, 2006 12:45 PM
He's the Brokeback Bond for generation Q
24. Posted by MonkeyBoy on February 24, 2006 12:49 PM
Sounds like the Daniel Craig wants to be known as Agent Double-O Pussy.
25. Posted by ByMennon on February 24, 2006 12:56 PM
Hey don't kill the guy for that, I didn't know how to drive stick until a couple years ago when I had to learn it.
Personally I'd rather own a shitty automatic car than a nice manual car. Who wants to think while they drive?
26. Posted by djyuckfou on February 24, 2006 01:02 PM
?? everyone in england can drive a stick,its like standard teaching practice of learning to drive,what the hell,theres something terribly wrong here!!
27. Posted by naus on February 24, 2006 01:06 PM
#25, you don't need to think when you drive a stick shift, it becomes second nature.
It's lame because he's European, most Europeans can drive a stick shift, and also it's just out of character for 007. Now when the movie comes out, and he's driving the car, i'm going to be thinking "the poser couldn't even drive this." It's just not good, and he is a TOTAL poser. Remember the swimming vest he had on at the press conference thing?
Ask yourself, what kind of Bond can't drive a stick and is afraid of water? Next thing we're going to find out is that he can't drink martinis and is gay.
28. Posted by derekd on February 24, 2006 01:36 PM
The WORST looking James Bond to date. I fear it is the end of a great series.
29. Posted by Kevin on February 24, 2006 01:38 PM
This is going to be the worst Bond movie since, well, the original "Casino Royale." Craig is going to make George Lazenby's weepy, girly-man Bond look macho.
30. Posted by LoneWolf on February 24, 2006 02:01 PM
Maybe they'll hire Jackie Chan as his chauffer/sidekick, put him in a black mask, change his character's name to Green Hornet, and call the movie "Drive Another Day".
Or "Dr. No (I Can't Drive Manual)".
Or "In Her Majesty's Driving Class".
Or "Live And Let Someone Else Drive".
Okay, I'm tired. Someone else take over....
31. Posted by jennifer11 on February 24, 2006 02:09 PM
and his new lady love, Geargrinding Galore.
32. Posted by jennifer11 on February 24, 2006 02:13 PM
or maybe
"Craigsapussy"
"Can Only Shift Twice"
"The Man with Missing Teeth"
33. Posted by Binky on February 24, 2006 02:14 PM
And if the lessons don't work out - he'll be issued a 'double o' bus pass.
34. Posted by ESQ on February 24, 2006 02:16 PM
Perhaps he should be in the remake "License to Drive"
35. Posted by CakeGirl on February 24, 2006 02:17 PM
He was really good in Layer Cake, and pretty hot. But Clive Owen is hotter.
36. Posted by ESQ on February 24, 2006 02:19 PM
In response to comment #1 - Thanks for providing the link for a picture of this douche. In a word "hoagie wrap" I do not care how fit you are, wearing that type of bathing suit is just not warranted.
37. Posted by Shaun on February 24, 2006 02:21 PM
Poster # 9 - I agree. Mike Myers would own.
LOL Poster # 33 - Double 0 Bus Pass. Nothing like riding the boneshaker. :D
38. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 24, 2006 02:22 PM
Oh you Lone Wolf and Jennifer 11, you guys kill me.
39. Posted by jennifer11 on February 24, 2006 02:23 PM
oh and if he's gonna wear my bathing suit bottom, he needs to go on ahead and wear the top, too.
40. Posted by that-dog-is-shifty-eyed on February 24, 2006 02:29 PM
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and then the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?
41. Posted by ProbablyTooOld on February 24, 2006 02:40 PM
I'm unsure why this guy's a pussy for getting his teeth knocked out and being unable to drive a stick shift. It seems to me a pussy would do everything possible to avoid doing anything that would endanger his teeth and there are people in London who go their entire lives without driving a car, let alone a shift stick. New York, too. Pussies, all of them, by such criteria.
Plus, wasn't Pierce Brosnan the Bond who cried and complained about the heat in Thailand, eventually "collapsing" from dehydration then hiding in his trailor, holding up shooting while he pouted about sweating in a tux? Yeah... That's manly. Didn't he bitch endlessly about the stunts he was asked to do because his pretty, pretty face was endangered, again holding up the film while he fumed like a fat girl denied ice cream?
Bond is not about being a handsome face. Ir's about being a charismatic badass. Sean Connery is not the best looking man nor did he have a wonderful physique as Bond but he was the best Bond because he was so very f-ing charming and no one ever doubted that a man with no muscle tone could kill everyone in the room. If the franchise is gonna survive, they need to get a skin scraping from the man and clone him because few actors can measure up to him. Craig is no Connery but he sure as heck comes in a distant second to Brosnan in the "Who's the Biggest Pussy Category."
42. Posted by mamacita on February 24, 2006 02:41 PM
Speaking of gay bathing suits............. Has anyone seen those pictures (not new) of Ricky Martin and an unidentified other guy where they're both in Speedos, playing frisbee? There's actually one of the both of them doing pushups on the beach! What?!
43. Posted by Tania on February 24, 2006 02:51 PM
Post #6 said "A man who cannot drive a stick is Al Reynolds."
Sound to me like Al Reynolds knows his way around a stick. That's the problem.
44. Posted by JollyJumjuck on February 24, 2006 03:22 PM
They need to cast another actor for James Bond, like Russell Crowe. During most of the movie, Q and Moneypenny are baffled (as are the rest of the characters) because, to them, both Bonds look alike. Then we could have the plot as Daniel Craig's character being "faux-Bond" while Crowe is "real-Bond." Then Craig and Crowe could have a punch-up, and real-Bond could knock out faux-Bond's teeth with a thrown telephone. The real-Bond escapes in one Aston-Martin, while faux-Bond throws a tantrum because he can't chase real-Bond in the other Aston-Martin. And faux-Bond's pen (designed by Q) in his shirt pocket explodes, covering faux-Bond in week-old warm yogurt, which causes everyone to gasp and say, "You're not the real Bond, you're Daniel Craig!"
45. Posted by AmberDextrose on February 24, 2006 03:48 PM
This SOOOOOOO can't be true. No one in England learns to drive an Automatic - unless they're disabled!
Don't rate him with his kit off. And his face is like a wadded up tissue. But he looks like a gentleman.
Mm, Clive Owen. Mmmm mm, Clive Owen.
46. Posted by The Lazy Asian on February 24, 2006 04:18 PM
Q must be rolling in his grave.
47. Posted by velvet_morning on February 24, 2006 05:57 PM
When I first saw him I didn't think he looked the part either, but after seeing him in Layer Cake he's actually really very good, what he lacks in appearance he makes up for with actual talent.
I think he'll be a good Bond, better than Pierce.
48. Posted by azcoyote on February 24, 2006 07:01 PM
Pierce was the best Bond since Sean and this jackoff is no where near the caliber of actor to be Bond. Acting skills are only one part. Charisma is important. He has to be suave and smooth. You could cut roast on this asswipe's face he is such jagged looking bastard. Besides it is Bond, not BLONDE. The franchise is even more in the pisser than the Dalton days. So sad... Bring back Pierce.
49. Posted by TDubb on February 24, 2006 07:22 PM
If I see one more person say "Daniel Craig proved he was a great actor in Layer Cake" I am going to have a f'in meltdown. Daniel Craig was 'brooding' in Layer Cake - anyone can do brooding. My grandma does a kickass 'brooding'. Hell even that kid on the O.C 'broods' well. I'm not saying Daniel can't/isn't a good actor but Layer Cake did nothing to prove that he was. All he did was act like a hard ass and keep a straight face the entire film. Which by the was was also superbly over-rated. Was it cool. Yes. Was it revolutionary. Hell no. I can't wait till Every British director stops trying to make the next Trainspotting or Lock, Stock. It's getting old - real old.
Oh and if an actor can't drive stick he shouldn't be Bond.
50. Posted by jujucabana on February 24, 2006 07:53 PM
i'm officially never seeing this movie. daniel craig is the ugliest guy i ever saw. he cant drive stick. and the babes in this movie are not worth the status of 'bond babes'. so i will be watching something else. they could have really switched it up, and said jane bond. that would have been cool. but no. . .they never ever do things i want!
51. Posted by HollyJ on February 24, 2006 08:02 PM
I LOVE A STICK SHIFT
You can handle it any way you want, control the power and timing, and be 'at one' with the machine.
And I like stick shift cars, too.
52. Posted by McShez on February 24, 2006 11:11 PM
Aw, he's a good guy. He's got class and charisma, he's just not as obvious as some of the other choices for Bond, and I think that will end up being a plus.
I mean, OK, Clive Owen can drive my hot pink Cadillac any day, but give Daniel a chance, and watch things he's done besides friggin' 'Layer Cake'.
Then again, I wouldn't mind being in the middle of a love-pile consisting of all the simmering sexies who are welcome to fill out an application to be in my personal man-harem, like Clive, Daniel, Ciaran Hinds, Jason Isaacs, Ralph Fiennes, Marton Csokas, Gabriel Byrne, Ray Stevenson, Sean Bean, Karl Urban,...ok, can't write anymore, keyboard is wet.
Anyway, point is that I like the choice of Daniel Craig! I'd help him with a stick any day.
53. Posted by Roderick on February 25, 2006 12:59 AM
True story:
Brosnan ordered a brand new Porsche 911 in a manual transmission, and had just driven it to a gas station to fill up. People recognized him and he decided to show off, by launching his 911 with Bond-like skill. Only, he stalled it.
54. Posted by CheekyChops on February 25, 2006 07:24 AM
Looks like someone has been frying his face. James Bond is meant to be shaggable. If given the opportunity to have sex with this one, I'd rather masterbate.
55. Posted by bafongu on February 25, 2006 11:06 AM
#32 Jennifer11 "You can only shift twice" LM-freakin-AO
56. Posted by Ez-EEEE on February 25, 2006 11:53 AM
yea. im over this bond movie thing. final nail in the coffin. maybe the producers of casino royale are blind, deaf and retarded; and this craig guy tricked them into hiring him. like in "Dumb and Dumber" where they sold that kid a bird with the head duct taped on. now that was a movie. i bet harry and lloyd can drive a stick.
57. Posted by A2ROX on February 25, 2006 07:24 PM
i learned to drive stick in a day (albeit with stalling) but got over the humps of it (teehee) in about a week with a couple rides around town. so i'm sure this won't hold up the filming for too long, but i hope they make him practice on a piece of crap first.
#25, are you crazy? you just suck at stick, like al reynolds, hence desiring a piece of crap automatic tranny over a NICE manual.
daniel craig's family was probably rich, hence he probably had a chauffeur, and thus never had to learn to drive. my friend's family hosts raquetball players every year (rich) and they never know how to drive.
58. Posted by misssives on February 26, 2006 06:10 PM
Daniel Craig is gorgeous and entirely shaggable; manual car driving or not! I think what many people can't come to terms with is that he has a very unique look and isn't a clone of every other 'pretty boy' actor.
59. Posted by Magus on February 26, 2006 07:25 PM
HAHAHHAHA !!! let's see
- blonde
- 0 driving skills
yeah, this guy is definitly James Bond
60. Posted by Average on February 26, 2006 10:52 PM
33. Posted by Binky
"And if the lessons don't work out - he'll be issued a 'double o' bus pass."
lol very funny!
61. Posted by Average on February 26, 2006 10:56 PM
The problem is anyone can play Bond. You dont need to be a good actor you just have to be hot enough(or have that certain sexpot attitude) to make women cream with a look.
Bronson didnt do it for me, Clive Owen definately would have.
This guy looks like a muppet, but I'm willing to give him a chance. The Bond series couldnt possibly get any lamer than it already is.
62. Posted by ibyte on February 26, 2006 11:19 PM
To all those people who seem to have a problem with Craig Daniel's looks. Can you please all post your photos now. So that the rest of us can sit in judgement. Then we could all write in and say stuff like: "You can't say that you're too ugly, you are not good looking enough to make a comment".
Watch LAYER CAKE then comment.
63. Posted by Bo_Smith on February 27, 2006 01:50 AM
Clive Owen is a shockingly bad actor and those teeth no way. What about a gay James Bond?
64. Posted by azcoyote on February 27, 2006 12:55 PM
#62 what kind of idiot are you? First off, the guy you are defending is named Daniel Craig, not Craig Daniels you moron.
I love when people like you come to defend the celeb with "well, let's see your pictures". So funny. I think you fail to realize that no matter what any of the commenters look like, we are not being cast as Bond nor are we actors in Hollywood. This asswipe is and thus is open for criticism.
Watch Layer Cake? Why would I want to? I don't need to see previous work to know that this guy does not fit the Bond mold. He looks like shit and has blonde hair to boot. Case closed. Not a good Bond choice.