February 16, 2006
Paris Hilton hits on Prince
Paris Hilton toasted singer Prince in a London club this week, delighting Prince so much that he snuck out the back of the club. Hilton was reportedly drinking absinthe at Kaberet Prophecy when she got into the DJ box and announced to the crowd, “I'm celebrating my birthday and Prince is in the house, so I want to play his new single because he's hot,” according to the Sun newspaper. Prince, hiding under a hood, quickly headed for the exit, but Hilton danced on the table tops until 3:30 a.m.
The proper end to this story has cops raiding the club, busting Paris for drugs, and sticking her in a women's prison where the inmates take turns making her their toilet monkey. Alas. But bravo to Prince there. He managed to escape before Paris's tractor-beam vagina pulled him in. From what I understand it's much like the Death Star. Except the wookies aren't so friendly.
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» Willie Nelson Releases Gay Cowboy Song» Tom Cruise is still nuts
» Paris Hilton says her album is hot
» Janice Dickinson yells at straight people
» Paris Hilton attacked by PETA
Comments
1. Posted by gossipmonger on February 16, 2006 10:01 AM
Hey, you know what would be REAL news?? Paris Hilton NOT hitting on someone...
2. Posted by Go Sip on February 16, 2006 10:07 AM
Oh yet another Paris Hilton post,
I think I will throw up my coffee and toast,
She is over sexed, over hyped and extremely dirty,
She will need a vagina lift before she turns thirty,
She burns all her bridges, no friends, no alliance,
She should donate her panties to STD science,
We could all learn alot, its our only chance,
To see all those STD's live in one persons pants,
Her mother and father must cringe watching the news,
Tune in at eleven, Paris is a fluze.
To write much more would seem completely inane,
She gets banged more than a screen door in a hurricane.
FEMINEM
3. Posted by BrianMolko on February 16, 2006 10:14 AM
Awwww that's adorable, I love a girl who can handle her absinthe.
4. Posted by londonlady on February 16, 2006 10:20 AM
I've always been a bit of a closet Prince fan, and reading this I'm ready to come out. Prince, you rule!
5. Posted by TaiTai on February 16, 2006 10:23 AM
Cmon give Pee Pee a break. She was just trying to experience Purple Rain.
6. Posted by xavierout on February 16, 2006 10:30 AM
See, Prince has a very discerning eye when it comes to high quality ass. The woman who cleans the toilet in the guest house at his mansion is hotter than Paris Hilton. He wouldn't waste his time even speaking to a skeezy skank like her. Prince is a god among men, whereas Paris Hilton is...well...Paris Hilton. It's hard to think of an insult worse than simply calling someone Paris Hilton, even if the person is ACTUALLY Paris Hilton. Shock, disgust, etc...
7. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 10:44 AM
Prince....I always liked that boy.....good Christian boy avoiding the demon planet Paris like that.
8. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 10:46 AM
Go Sip, can I have your autograph...but on my panties, 'kay?
9. Posted by A Nobody on February 16, 2006 10:52 AM
Oooooh... SHOCKING!
C'on people, it's not the first time this whole thing has happened. What does this have ANYTHING to do with superficiality?
10. Posted by suzy on February 16, 2006 10:54 AM
GoSip that was just amazing!! *applauds you*
11. Posted by tomdabomb on February 16, 2006 11:04 AM
but, but I don't understand! I'm Paris Hilton! You mean don't like me? EVERYBODY likes me! I'm PARIS FUCKING HILTON!
12. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 11:11 AM
Paris Hilton is a droopy-eyed, droopy-assed, long-torsoed, cum-guzzling, beak-nosed, New Yawk City Socialite WHORE!
(how's that for superficial?)
13. Posted by Siren on February 16, 2006 11:15 AM
Let's have a vote, kids. I understand Superficial is not a democracy, but I want to at least make a statement:
All those in favor of banning Paris Hilton stories from the site say AYE!
If nothing else, can we take a two-week hiatus? I've had it with her. Maybe we should just have a ticker on the bottom of the screen for the number of events she attends and embarasses herself or others at, since there's really never anything NEW about her and there won't be until she GOES AWAY.
I'll even take the TomKat stories over Paris.
14. Posted by Go Sip on February 16, 2006 11:22 AM
LaydeeBug, laydeebug, with the autographed thongs,
Marker on your bloomers what could be wrong,
Tell you what I'll do, I'll let others watch,
As I put my John Hancock on your cotton panelled crotch,
I'll even be nice I wont charge you any cash,
But the ink in my Sharpee might leave a rash.
GO SIP
15. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 11:31 AM
Aye, EXCEPT, I want to see the stories where Paris busts her ass falling, or puking, or getting caught with her panties down in the tiolet, taking a big ole dump.
16. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 11:33 AM
Oh, ohhhhhh, oh, OHHHHH, SIIIIP. (slides off chair) You said "sharpie.". (as thighs quiver)
17. Posted by theyareidiots on February 16, 2006 11:34 AM
Aye!
Prince rules
18. Posted by TaiTai on February 16, 2006 11:35 AM
#13 I am with you. Paris Free Zone. If only ...
19. Posted by Devil Is Chrome on February 16, 2006 11:36 AM
If I wasn't so drunk right now, I'd think that Paris Hilton runs this site....
Who else would enjoy so many posts about her lame ass?
20. Posted by ESQ on February 16, 2006 11:38 AM
This is news worth hearing...
In response to comment #5 - That was hilarious!
Doesn't she have a boyfriend? Christ what must he think? Or did he finally get a clue.
Now Paris finally must feel like the ugly girl at the dance, hooray!
21. Posted by inspector11 on February 16, 2006 12:11 PM
Prince wins this week's Mike Jones Award:
"Back then, ho’s didn’t want me, now I’m hot, ho’s all on me... I SAID, Back then, ho’s didn’t want me, now I’m hot, ho’s all on me"
22. Posted by eatyourfeedback on February 16, 2006 12:15 PM
I love the poem GoSip! Thanks for the snicker.
23. Posted by Captain Awesome on February 16, 2006 12:40 PM
Why does this Praying Mantis get so much press?
Is it because she stores gallons of cum?
24. Posted by Jaydel on February 16, 2006 12:41 PM
Prince only messes with dimes plus he's married now. But in the old days. Check his track record. Apollolina, Sheena Easton, Vanity, Carmen Electra(he gave her that name), Kim Basinger, .......Paris is barely a 6 on a CURVE!
25. Posted by jugsgirl on February 16, 2006 12:43 PM
3 paris stories on homepage, wow some might say that is excessive. I think its wonderful.
why not do all paris stories? Dont bother with silly tomkat or willie nelson stories, unless katie and tom have 3some with paris or willie and cowboys let paris watch their cowboy gangbangs.
all paris all the time
26. Posted by playahater101 on February 16, 2006 12:53 PM
I like hearing stories about people running away from Paris Hilton. Hopefully everyone will run and she'll stop being popular for being stupid and rich.
RUN, PRINCE, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
27. Posted by MKOh8sMischka on February 16, 2006 12:54 PM
OMG. i hate her so much. really don't care for prince either. by i have to hand it to him for being able to escape the reach of paris's overwhelmingly loose vagina.
p.s. #15 i'd probably force myself to piss my pants if i was privileged enough to see paris falling off a bar. dirty slut.
28. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 01:22 PM
Dare to dream #27, dare to dream....
29. Posted by memichelle77 on February 16, 2006 01:36 PM
i must say i'm a little tired of hearing about par-par, too. I think, to save us all some trouble, they could probably just pre-write all of the stories about her for the entire year. that way, we'll only have to read about it once. I've even created a form:
1. Paris got drunk and acted like a dumbass
2. Paris had sex with ________.
3. Paris got drunk and made out with______.
4. Paris said ________ was hot.
5. Paris is mad because someone stole her _________ and refused to have sex with her.
6. Paris is is [describe activity, i.e. making a cd], and no one cares.
7. Paris________ and is a dumbass. _______ is pissed off about it.
30. Posted by ThirstyRanger on February 16, 2006 01:45 PM
It's whore-bag Mad Libs! Now THAT's hot!
31. Posted by HollyJ on February 16, 2006 01:49 PM
Poor Prince.
It must scare the shit out of a gay man to see the Black Hole of Calcutta 'gina coming at him from across a crowded room.
32. Posted by MP$40 on February 16, 2006 01:50 PM
"Paris Hilton is a droopy-eyed, droopy-assed, long-torsoed, cum-guzzling, beak-nosed, New Yawk City Socialite WHORE! (how's that for superficial?)"
I am crying over here at my desk! F'n funny! ROFL...
33. Posted by M@ce on February 16, 2006 01:52 PM
THIS is why I am such a vocal advocate for 96th trimester abortions. It's not too late!
34. Posted by M@ce on February 16, 2006 02:01 PM
Paris is the living embodiment of vapid, superficial, psuedo-celebrity. No way she should be banned. It would be like killing your own God. Granted, a syphilitic, knob gobbling, VD infested God, but God nonetheless.
Nay!!
35. Posted by Aimtrue on February 16, 2006 02:04 PM
Enough of weak Paris stories. Use some editorial discretion. I don't want to see another Paris story unless gapping wound, dead, headless, mutilated, or beaten beyond recognition are associated with her-unless the story invovles video of lesbian sister sex
36. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 02:04 PM
M@ce, #33, You fucking rule!
37. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 02:10 PM
AimTrue, that last part COULD actually happen. See: The Barbi Twins
http://www.kapelovitz.com/barbis.htm
38. Posted by PKClover on February 16, 2006 02:14 PM
OK seriously? Can we lay off the Paris Hilton stories a bit? I mean it's beginning to be every little thing the girl does goes up on here. I don't need to open my Superficial tomorrow morning to Paris shits while talking on her cell phone, or Paris buys a diamond cock ring for Starvos. I mean we know she does, but I am just asking for a day here people. 1 day without Paris.
39. Posted by jugsgirl on February 16, 2006 02:17 PM
Paris Hilton's Pet
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/image_pages/phsnatch.html
40. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 02:19 PM
Ayyyyyyy! My eyes, my eyes, they're bleeding. Jugsgirl, YOU SUCK!!!!
Good one though.
41. Posted by M@ce on February 16, 2006 02:20 PM
AP News--
In an apparent response to the waves of negative publicity being brought upon them as a result of the much criticised heir to the Hiton fortune, the people of France have voted today to rename their capital Skank.
42. Posted by jugsgirl on February 16, 2006 02:21 PM
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/image_pages/phsnatch.html
eyes have herpes
43. Posted by debs on February 16, 2006 02:23 PM
The headlines you'll never see:
Paris Hilton wins Nobel Prize in Quantum Physics
Paris Hilton becomes a celebate.
Paris Hilton has her eyes surgically opened after years of suffering debilitating squint.
Paris Hilton has spine re-attached; posture is normal finally.
Paris Hilton who? (this last one is a wish. A sad and lonely, most unlikely wish.)
44. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 02:49 PM
"Paris Hilton has spine re-attached; posture is normal finally."
WORD, that girl is like a walking crescent moon. Or Droopalong.
45. Posted by LoneWolf on February 16, 2006 02:54 PM
I almost passed on this thread but I'm glad I didn't. Thanks, LaydeeBug for the link. I knew those Barbi's were doing each other.
Oh and Paris? *yawn*
46. Posted by outfoxed on February 16, 2006 03:27 PM
The only Paris Hilton I want to read about is the actual Paris Hilton. The one with suites, spas, and a concierge.
47. Posted by MystressJade on February 16, 2006 03:30 PM
Jugsgirl: I must say that I am a fan of the ladies....but, Jesus H. Christ...that pic of PH's twat makes me want to yak. I can actually see the STD's on it. Without a microscope...from 1000 yards away....in a cave. *sprays Lysol in eyes*
48. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 04:23 PM
NO problem LoneWolf, just doing my job.
Miss Jade, you krak me up!!!
49. Posted by The Lazy Asian on February 16, 2006 04:47 PM
don't piss off a wookie.
50. Posted by eatyourfeedback on February 16, 2006 05:46 PM
Aiiiyeee is right! That picture showing her snatch - disgusting. I think I might have nightmares!
I find it more and more difficult with each passing day (and headline) to believe that any man would actually want to stick his dick in this woman. So what if she's richer than God? Not only is she a empty-headed, nasty, worthless individual - she's fucking ugly with that lazy eye and Toucan Sam hook nose!
51. Posted by HughJorganthethird on February 16, 2006 06:31 PM
I am friends with an actual wookie and while he may not be that friendly I know he would definetly sodomize Paris. As long as she had some weed and maybe a bit of blow. Cause wookies like to party yo.
52. Posted by speechless on February 16, 2006 06:57 PM
ahahah!! tractor beam vagina!! i almost had an accident.
53. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 16, 2006 06:58 PM
There's an expression in spanish that goes...ahem...."La concha no tiene cara." I'll let y'all translate that one.
54. Posted by Ing on February 16, 2006 08:10 PM
Paris is such a filthy drug whore..what a waste of space.
55. Posted by Darby on February 16, 2006 10:50 PM
AYE!!
56. Posted by Jacq on February 17, 2006 01:11 AM
Ok, ya'll, admit it already. Paris got the fuzzy end of the gene-lollipop.
57. Posted by christee on February 17, 2006 03:59 AM
#5, perhaps she was hoping for a little after party golden shower from the purple rainmaker?
this girl surely doesn't have a gynecologist. more like a spelunker.
58. Posted by Nanny Ogg on February 17, 2006 10:39 AM
Does anyone else think it appropriate that she was chosen to present an award to an album entitled "American Idiot"?
59. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 17, 2006 12:03 PM
Oh, by the way, it's Penis Hilton's birthday today.
60. Posted by bluecanary on February 17, 2006 04:49 PM
Go Sip: Hilarious!!!
And on another note, my respect for Prince just doubled. Mmmm, Prince. My crush in 8th grade has never completely gone away...
61. Posted by whoopnstik on February 17, 2006 05:27 PM
Is it me or does it look like Paris Hilton got breast implants lately...check out the Brit awards slide show at Yahoo News...http://news.yahoo.com/photos/ss/events/en/021506britawards;_ylt=Ai6MBdO4TDu5erky4E20cnp.KcMA;_ylu=X3oDMTA5bGVna3NhBHNlYwNzc3JlbA--
Especially picture 163 and 113 if I recall correctly. Anybody agree?
62. Posted by gogoboots on February 18, 2006 10:22 PM
If I were Prince I'd run away too, Paris's too embarassing to even watch to flirt much less trying to DJ. Besides, she could ruin his rep by even standing a couple of feet away and acknowledging his presence. Prince is way too good for that!
63. Posted by boshea on February 20, 2006 12:39 PM
How much longer will we have to endure stories of Paris "the cum guzzling whore" Hilton and her Greek "son of a shipping magnet" boyfriends? I am so sick of her I want to see 50 Japanese businessmen bukkake all over her face. Now that's a video of her worth watching :-)